What is this death? for diane

[Guest guest]

Dear Diane,

 

I sure know that feeling  of being alienated from others.  I have changed my

ways in relation to this as the years have passed.  I have left  various

" groups " because to remain meant that I was not being true to my authentic self

and rather than stay I began to learn that I really had no choice but to

leave.  Being able to leave and to do so with love has been a long learning

curve for me, and has only began to happen in the last few years.  There used

to be some grieving involved but the grieving was about what was not there for

me,  if that makes any sense. 

I could give you a few examples, but the last one happened very  recently, and

it was the best experience so far.    I made the decision to leave my much

loved philosophy school.  I was, as you phrased it " unknown and unaccepted " and

while the folks there would not perceive this to be the case at all, it most

certainly was the case.  If I had remained I believe that I myself,  would

have been the one isolating my authentic self, placing her away from myself

because she could not participate in their " rules of engagement " as it were. 

I have trained for group work and counselling work too but there is nothing to

say this particular work must be carried out as one originally began to do

it.  It is important to relate to others but if the relating to our authentic

selves is put aside in order to do this I am sure that is not good for us at

all.   At leat that is what I learned about me.

I am so glad that for me I stopped staying in certain situations where I was not

really known or accepted  and was able to finish and disconnect with love for

everyone there.  My authentic self has been very grateful that I did. I

honoured her in the process and this new way of being is actually healing and

somehow offers me great relief and freedom. 

Just my own experience of some of the changes that have occured for me, with

much gratitude to kundalini shakti.

Love Julia.

 

 

 

 

________________________________

Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen

 

Fri, December 18, 2009 9:06:50 PM

Re: What is this death?

 

 

 

 

--- On Fri, 12/18/09, Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen@ > wrote:

 

DearDanielleAndAll:

 

InAdditionToEarlier PostINeedToClari fyWhatIMeanInReg ardToBeingAuthen

ticAndBeing

AlienatedFromOthers :

 

ItIsAMatterOfIntegr ityToMeThatIBeTr ueToWhoIAm, ButThatDoesNotMe anIHaveTo

RevealEverythingAbo utWhoIAmToEveryO ne.ButGenerallyS peaking,IHaveBee nOpen

AndHonestWithThoseC losestToMe, AndHaveFoundThem ToBeVeryPuzzledB yMe,AndAs

ChrismHasSaid, TheyRevealByThei rResponsesThatTh eyCan'tRelateOrD on'tWantTo

RelateToWhereIam. AsAResult, IHaveFocusedOnRe latingToThemAndW hatIsImportantTo

TheirLives;ieBecomi ngALayCounselorF or8HoursAWeekAnd AWomensSupportGr oup

FacilitatorAtMyForm erChurch( After2yearsTrain ing).ButIHaveAlw aysFeltEitherUnk

nown

OrUnaccepted.

 

AnyCommentsBothNega tiveAndPositiveA reWelcome

 

Diane

 

 

 

 

 

Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen@ >

[Kundalini-Awakenin g-Systems- 1] What is this death?

Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1

Friday, December 18, 2009, 12:04 PM

 

 

 

DearBeautifulDaniel le:ComputerProbl em;SpaceBarWon' tWork,ButPleaseR eadAnyway!

 

SinceAge3OBEIHaveWa ntedToDieBecause ThisLifeHasBeen " Foreign " ToMe,

SoIunderstand

WhatYouAreExperienc ing.IAmNotSuicid alEither, IJustWantToLiveL ifeCreatingOnlyG

ood

Karma,LiveThroughTh eKarmaICameIntoT hisLifeToFace, AndForgiveWhenNe

cessaryBefore

TheEndOfEachDay. IThinkKundalini, SinceItAmplifies ,HasDugDeepIntoM

ySoul,WithThe

ResultThatThePainOf LifeCircumstance sHasLeftScarsWit hinMe,EvenAsIAmS

ureThatIHave

Forgiven,AndThoseSc arsHelpToDisenta ngleMeFromThe " Dance " OfEngagema

ntWithOthers

SoThatICanSeeMoreCl earlyNotOnlyMyOw nMotivationsAndI ntentions,

ButThoseOfOthers

AsWell.TheEndResult OfAllOfThisIsTha tIAmWearyOfTheDa nce,AndAsISaidIn AnEarlier

Post,WantToGetOffTh e " StageOfLife " AndLeaveThe " MaskOfPersona " BehindAndReturnT

o

GodFromWhenceWeAllC ame.ICanRemember TellingMyParents AsAVeryYoungChil dThat

IWishedIHadNeverBee nBorn;(ThisWasAf terMyOBE) .IHaveNeverFeltU nderstoodOrAccep

ted

ByAnyone,BecauseByB eingTrueToMyExpe rienceOfLifeIHav eApparentlyAlien atedOther

People,WhoCouldNotR elateToMe. ItHasBeenALonely Existance, ButItIsOfTheUtmo st

ImportanceToMeToBeA uthenticAboutWho IAmAndWhatIAmAbo ut.

 

MyLoveToYouBeautifu lDanielle, IHopeYourExperie nceContinuesToDr

awPeopleToYouAnd

ThatYouDoNotHaveToE xperienceTheAlie nationI'veExperi enced.

 

Diane