Boxes of Thought

[Guest guest]

Chrism - I feel much love for you and everyone here right now and I will

tell you why. I also tend to want to fit everything into logical concepts

because my human mind cannot grasp infinity. Unfortunately, these neat little

" boxes of thought " often seem to be in conflict with one another, even and

especially within my own mind. This is why I have spent much of my life trying

to escape the conflict and seek out peace. It has been a theme in my life to

find myself in the middle of a lot of conflict and I would see both sides and

end up extremely confused. Like I never knew who I was or where I was supposed

to fit in. I have always felt like the fish out of water, flipping back and

forth from side to side.

 

All of this fueled my intense desire to escape this confusing world of

polarity and conflict. My only goal was peace and I was completely clueless

about how much I would have to adjust my perception to achieve it. I found out

the hard way that I would have to make some necessary adjustments, whether I

liked it or not. When I first heard of Kundalini it did not make sense to me at

all. It did not fit into my neat little " box of thought " of what I thought

enlightenment was supposed to be. But then I started having these strange

physical occurrences that DID fit in with a lot of my fearful " boxes of thought "

and I began to panic, in a major way.

 

These physical experiences made no logical sense to me whatsoever, yet they

were actual experiences that I could not deny. This was not based on anyone's

opinion, not even my own. Logically, it was happening to me and it was a real

experience, whether I liked it or not. It did not even fit neatly into any

medical " box of thought. " After all, what medical disease causes you to

vibrate, see through closed eyelids and have air roll around the inside of your

mouth that wakes you up from sleep? What medical disease causes your body to

feel sensations of something rolling inside of you and cause your body to take

on a mind of its own? None that I could find without having been on

anti-psychotic drugs, which I had not.

 

So, my perception of Kundalini began to change because it was no longer an

abstract thought, but an experience. I came back here for reassurance because I

was scared out of my mind, and that is exactly what I got from you, Chrism.

Your words calmed my fears and helped me to change my perception from one of

extreme fear to one of seeing this as a sacred event. You helped me to stay

sane when I needed it most.

 

You referred me to the safeties and I studied them and tried them. It made

logical sense to me to forgive, to be grateful, to practice unconditional love.

Otherwise, I probably would have resisted. You helped me to find the courage to

set my fear aside and focus more in this direction. As a result, I began to see

my fears as a choice that I could leave behind. I did not have to believe the

worst case scenario. There was another way of looking at this, and you helped

me to see it.

 

In my view, you validated my experience and showed me how to channel the

energy into a more loving direction. The actual experience of this strange

phenomenon brought into my awareness the urgency of learning how to discipline

my thought and emotion and action. You teach how to direct the focus of thought

away from fear and discipline the thought towards love. As a human being, it is

not so very easy because it is not necessarily the norm in cultural society.

But as a person experiencing Kundalini phenomenon, it is necessary and urgent.

If one listens to you and practices this, the experience will be more peaceful

and less fearful.

 

This makes logical sense to me. But even if it didn't, I would eventually

have no choice but to figure it out the hard way. Fear is the hard way. I

tried it. I don't like it. Forgiveness, gratefulness and love does not fit

into any neat " little box. " It radiates out in all direction. But then again,

so does fear. I think that when a person chooses love over fear, they can

become " immune " to fear, for lack of a better word. But it does help to have

reassurance that one is not going crazy. It helps a LOT.

 

So, from my limited perception, it only matters that we choose love over

fear. My perception is that this is the basis behind what you teach here,

Chrism. Is this logical? I think so. I think we are all in agreement on this.

When misunderstandings occur, the boxes are to blame. I say we smash them! But

then again, would we still be human?

 

Ironic, but I think that the K activated people, of all people, understand

the resistance to giving that up!

 

Love to you all.

 

Deb