Thankyou

[Guest guest]

Dear all

Thankyou soooo much for your warm welcome and introduction. I do feel blessed to

have found this site. The funny thing is a lot of the advice that has been given

here I have heard all before at different points along my journey. The problem

is I guess I didn't always trust it because it always came with some other

packaging and I guess no-one ever confirmed for me what I was experiencing. But

just to know that there are a group of people on here who are or have

experienced the same thing I guess makes me feel that I am not so alone in all

this and gives me more trust. My mind often wanders to what path I am meant to

be on and I guess that is the problem with drilling too many wells for oil in

too many different places. I guess of late I have been on a kind of pathless

path almost not wanting to hear about spiritual things because I have heard it

all before and ultimately the sensations seem to be the most real thing that I

am experiencing a lot of the

time.

I feel perhaps that I might have got a bit caught up in my history but I guess

there is a part of me that still wants to make sense of it. To know exactly what

is happening haha. Almost like I want God to come down and give me an account of

my life and an explanation. As a result I have felt angry at times at all the

things that have got me into this situation.

That is not to say that through all this pain there are a lof wonderful things

that have happened as well. The highs have been high and the lows low I guess.

But I just want to thankyou for all your kind words and messages of support..

Over the last few days since I joined up I have felt more hope and strength to

be able to deal with this knowing that there are others out there dealing with

the same thing and people who know what I am going through and have been through

to ask for support. So thankyou.

Perhaps it is no accident that I happened upon it just before the New Year.

I find actually the most grounding thing for me is doing things in the physical

and not thinking too much about the spiritual. Whenever I meditate, ascend or

try reiki or reconnection, these things often seem to stir up the symptoms

rather than relieve them.

Everything seems to help and not help at the same time haha.

I am confused sometimes as to which symtoms come from kundalini and which come

from reiki or other things that I have done or whether it is all part of the

same.

 

Anyway here is a poem that I wrote ironically before I started experiencing a

lot of all this but perhaps it has even more relevance today.

 

 

The Night Of The Furies

 

By James Crompton

November ’98

 

Hear the Furies knocking,

Screaming, yelling, clanging.

They give me no respite,

They keep me up all night.

They make an awful din,

They want to be let in,

But that would be a sin,

I’ll not let those demons in.

 

They give me no respite,

Those Furies in the night,

I swear and shout and curse and pray,

Please make these Furies go away!

And still they make their din,

But I’ll not let them in!

 

Instead I’ll call the guard!

They’ll make these Furies go!

These Furies in the night,

That give me no respite.

 

And soon the guard arrives

And to the guard I say,

“Please make these Furies go away!

They’re driving me insane!â€

 

To me the guard replies,

“We’ve heard your awful cries!

But all your grounds we’ve searched around,

There are no Furies to be found!â€

And still I swear and curse and pray,

“Please make these Furies go away!â€

 

“Why can you not hear them?

Those Furies and their din!

They give me no respite!

Please make them go away!

I cannot sleep at night!

Please make them GO!!!â€

 

But still the guards insist,

They’ve searched my grounds around,

There are no Furies to be found,

And if I do persist

To make this awful din,

They’ll cuff me round the wrists,

And in a cell they’ll lock me in.

 

Where is the Justice in this town?

Who’ll help me beat these Furies down,

These demons that are constantly

With awful cries haranguing me?

Louder still and louder!

These Furies will not rest!

And all those fickle guards can do

With vicious threats harangue me too.

I’ll have to ring my neighbour,

My neighbour and my friend.

He’ll help me beat these Furies,

And put them to their end.

 

My neighbour he replies,

“I have not heard their cries,

But I will help you if you wish

To make the noise subside.â€

 

“Oh help me, help me please!

They give me no respite,

These Furies keep me up all night,

They never give me peace!â€

 

“Then help I will my friend

To put your Furies to an end,

But you must promise me

That you will listen openly.â€

 

“I’ll do anything you say,

To make these Furies go away.

They drive me up the wall,

These Furies banging on my door.â€

 

“Then here’s my medicine

To put these Furies to an end,

Listen carefully

And of these Furies you’ll be free:â€

 

“The Furies are within

That make this awful din.

That’s why they scream and shout.

They want to be let out.

All you have to do

Is open your front door,

You have locked them in.

That’s why they make their din.

In order to restore

The peace of mind you value,

Open your front door

That’s all I have to tell you.â€

 

So down the stairs I went ere long

To prove my gentle neighbour wrong,

Despite the fear that haunted me,

I had to set my mind at ease.

With trembling limbs and quaking knees,

I found my way to my front door,

And sure enough there I saw,

Furies flying round galore.

 

They looked at me with fiery eyes,

They yelled and screamed and screeched and cried,

They beat and banged against the door,

Then screamed and screeched and yelled some more.

With noses big, and big sharp claws,

And gnashing teeth, and bloody jaws,

With horns and wings and warty faces,

And did I mention big sharp claws.

These Furies I can’t well describe

Because I was so terrified.

 

But with my neighbour’s gentle words,

Courageously I took my course,

Through gnashing teeth and big sharp claws

I fought my way to my front door.

I took the key from out my pocket,

And soon I managed to unlock it,

And in a flurry out they went,

These Furies that had been hell-bent

On making my life a misery.

And so at last I was set free

My neighbour he had rescued me,

But what did follow soon you’ll see

Was a magic mystery.

 

For after being exorcised,

Those Furies metamorphasised

They were not Furies any more

That took their leave from my front door.

But in a flurry of feathered wings

A heavenly choir of seraphims

From my house took flight

Into the early morning light.

 

And as they flew in merry throng,

The air was filled with their sweet song:

“These Furies that you hear

Are never actually there

Instead what you espy

Are angels in disguise.â€

And thus I end my story

Of how I lost my fury.