update from me

[Guest guest]

Dear all,

 

I keep following the posts here but I have been away from some months. Last time

I came to this forum I was in total distress and confusion because entities

where bad after energy work in deliverance church plus I was seeing mosquitoes

whole day and cats. I got  paranoid that evil and aliens where chasing me and I

needed to protect myself.

 

I did not know what happened to me at the beginning, I had no clue of kundalini

and I never studied any subject related. I am completing 2 years since all

started.

 

I want to do some update of my current progress.

 

I stop going to church and doing any energy work already for 8 months  I

decided to look for peace far from any doctrine, priest, healer etc . I think

kundalini made me question every single believe that I had regarding life,

religion, doctrines, myself etc and I needed some time disconnected from all.

 

 I have worked hard in rising my vibrations in different areas: what I read,

what I watch, what I eat, what I think, what I say, what I feel and I try to

avoid conflict at any cost. At the beginning I was highly sensitive of negative

energy and used to run away from it (Tv programs, nasty people etc)…now I have

regulated more this area and understood that is not about avoidance but is about

becoming peace and love in the middle of the storms and using every situation to

learn and understand what I am and what I am not.

 

At the very beginning,  I cried lots feeling hurt from childhood issues now I

feel that I have worked hard in forgiveness and I can say I have made peace with

hurts of childhood and the past. I always pray that if there is any other

unconscious hurt from the past is revelled to me so I can work on it. If there

is karmic energy to release don’t know yet how to do it.

 

I was in a way alone all the way long because priest and healers did not know

what I was talking about it…but I don’t blame them because everybody tried

to helped me with their knowledge and understanding (limited?). I feel it has

been all part of my journey so I bless all the people that I have met ..I feel

god wanted me to see or study on that.

 

I used to feel some unbalance of energy when writing here on the forum what was

going on with me (maybe anxiety or I don’t know). The energy of my chakras was

highly activated when speaking about what I was going through ( I feel a bit now

also)….Anyhow, I decided no speak about it, no write about it, switch to  gym

activities, came back to childhood prayers and work in surrender fear issues. I

also started to drink some flower essences of uncut flowers.

 

This month has been in a way quiet and calm. I think the weather influences.

When is summer and sunny I get more phenomena . I see the mosquitoes and black

shapes flies on the streets mainly in sunny days…I don’t know what to make

of this. I get tired sometimes and anxious. I don’t fear anymore to them..but

feels unpleasant mainly because I cannot fully enjoy sunny days.

 

1 month ago got this cats fighting at my door and window. I told chrism that I

had one black cat on my door and was getting bit anxious about it. This time I

had two cats the black one fighting with a furious yellow cat (small)..I saw

that and thought was very violent scenario. I did not feel fear but  got VERY

 hot watching that. Almost uncomfortable to see that at my door. After that,

cats did not appeared this month.

 

The other phenomena is the windows. I feel someone shaking my windows. I try no

to concentrate on it but feels quite intrusive energy when that is happening.

 

I have learn NO TO analyse much what happens (it helps me) because the mind

always want to understand, but It is still bit hard for me to said that god is

the furious cat and god is shaking and hitting my windows and making noises

etc…Deep inside I have the understanding that there is an opposing

consciousness and they are the ones doing that . I must say anyhow that whatever

it is helped making me stronger person.

 

I would appreciate if any member here know the meaning of the mosquitoes issue

and black shapes flies (any experience?) What about the sun and weather? I

honestly enjoy more my winter now as summer is agonizing with phenomena. Why is

the sun causing more phenomena? And the windows?

 

Other thing is that my husband says that he cannot sleep too close to me because

I am hot like unusual temperature. I laugh..nothing else I can do. My marriage

has survived so far but it has been also hard. Balancing issues that might cause

disagreements at home and fight has been a challenge because if there is

controversy can be turned into fight and I get strongly unbalanced so I have

tried hard to create strategies  to keep peace always.

 

I did not feel like do any volunteering work like hospitals or things like that

but I started a group on facebook called “messages of peace and love†.Thats

perhaps is what I feel resonates better with me at this time. I do random acts

of kindness as well.

 

I don’t really know what is next for me. I guess I will know it.

 

Thanks for reading this long message

 

Peace and Love.

Monica

 

 

 

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