Greeting again! With a little more to add ^.^

[Guest guest]

Sooooo hello again from South Florida, I posted a greetings yesterday but

decided to go a little further into my experiences, since I've read that so many

of you have gifted us with sharing too!

 

From a very young age I was always interested in mythology and the like, at 12 I

saw a documentary on tattoo's and body modification as ritual and it blew my

mind... which in turn sent my already inquisitive little self into a downward

spiral of research and learning. I'm proud to say that today I'm an anthropology

student specializing in religion and the occult and have happily decided to

incorporate my love for body modification and ritual into my studies and

practices.

 

My first experience of anything Kundalini-esque was my freshman year of high

school (2003), I went to a performing arts school which focuses entirely upon

your art (for me this was theatre). I was taking a movement course, and our

teacher (bless his soul), is an established performance artist, so a lot of the

exercises we did we very experimental (meditations, animal work etc.), for this

experience, we were told to lay down in a dark room and slip into a guided

meditation. Already having a large imagination I happily fell into monotone

voice and began to see things that I didn't normally visualize.

 

I was in a cave atop a plateau, inside this cave with me were other people, some

chained, some not, i never really saw them though, more like the shadow of them.

I found myself to be one of the few unchained beings in this cave and bolted, I

found myself running along side another man (who I later discovered would become

my mentor), there were others too. We ran out of the cave and down into a

forrest. At this point it becomes kinda blurry, but I remember distinctly what i

was wearing and what we looked like. Soft leather trousers and boots, wool

shirts, and blue markings on our faces, mine on the left his on the right.

 

Shortly after that I awoke from the meditation and began to feel this horrible

pain in my spine as if a slimy oily THING was crawling up and down it... and it

hurt. I had to be taken out of the class at that point.

 

As the years went by things happened to me here and there, I found myself

feeling this immense pressure build up inside me when I would get upset it would

block my throat and sometimes lock me in one position, I would want to scream

but nothing would come out, I felt, and this is how I always thought of it, as

if there was an energy force within me trying to break loose, and my physical

body was not large enough to contain it. As if my pain was so great that I

couldn't even feel it anymore

 

The other times this would happen are when I would be focusing on my spiritual

studies, the same feeling of pressure would come over me and it hurt immensely,

I would fight this with every shred of strength I could muster (I didn't know

what it was at the time!)

 

Another significant experience I had was while sitting in a park with my mentor

at the time, we were talking as we normally would about dreams and experiences

and exercises when I felt this change in energy and felt something burrowing

into my left side (think eel with a strangely dragon-like head). This too was

extremely painful.

 

Around the same time I began seeing this black cables (think golden gate bridge)

outside my balcony, sometimes they moved, sometimes they stayed still, they

always formed some sort of a web. If I focus I can see them anywhere now. With

that came the black spots in my eyes.

 

More recently (December 29th to be exact), I was on a plane heading to PA to

visit with a friend for the holidays, I was lucky enough to have a window seat

that WASN'T sitting right on top a wing so I had a beautiful view of the moon

and sky above as well as the terrain below. As I'm staring at the Moon, doing my

daily prayers and thanks I began to see these tiny bacteria looking creatures in

the glass. Being the analytical person I am, I begin to rule things out, I clean

my glasses, run my eyes and begin looking at the glass from different angle to

make sure I'm not just seeing " dust " . After accepting that I have absolutely no

idea what it is through my consciousness I open myself up to the Universe, and

from there I hear a voice that says to me " these are My creations, and they are

here to protect you " .I settled back into my seat and felt all warm and comfy

inside. ^.^

 

This past year (2009) has also been a huge transformation year for me, I " came

out the broom closet " and made my official dedication to the Goddess at a

Midsummer drum and fire circle, I've chosen a path that I want to follow and

have really gone " within " myself, not as much as I want to, but it's definitely

where I want to be right now.

 

I also suffered from high blood pressure, which was diagnosed in me at the age

of 12, it was written off as hereditary as my father had suffered a stroke at

the age of 27 (he's recovered almost entirely and is an established physical

therapist here in south Florida). Fast forward to about a year ago, I started

having incredible lower back pain, I could sleep, barely could walk and it would

hurt to move. After undergoing some therapy with my dad I was sent to a pain

specialist. They ordered me to do an MRI scan, where my pure chance, a large

growth was discovered.

 

Now that growth turned out to be my kidney, which had for quite some time

completely ceased to function, in fact it had begun to calcify and whatever as

happening there was spreading to my right kidney. Long story short, I under went

a 7 hour procedure to have it removed (it was supposed to be only 3 hours but

the kidney had grown so large it was attaching itself to my other organs), after

this procedure, my blood pressure has stabilized and I feel much healthier and

happier because of it.

 

As far as movement and body goes, I'd like to start that by saying that I'm an

avid dancer (for drum circles in particular). That is where I go for ritual and

I love to lose myself there. I've had quite a few experiences within the circle

one of the first being a woman's voice saying very clearly " Mothers, Sisters,

Daughters, I AM HERE I AM HERE " over and over again after that I would have

periods of time where I was overwhelmed with this Presence and would begin to

cry (it was beautiful).

 

The last that happened at the circle was neither of those things, I ceased to

see anything but the fire, I heard only the drums and my mind went blank. I

began dancing in a way akin to a Native American shaman, I felt a burning heat,

aside from the fire, over my thighs (despite the cold i was wearing shorts and a

tank top go figure! lol). I began screaming and yelling, pounding the ground in

ways that I don't normally do while in circle. Sure I fall into trance but

usually I stay put and move within my little space, here I found myself going

around the circle, caressing the flames even wanting to go further into them!

Let me tell you, I sometimes think of trying to jump over the fire but only in

fantasy (because it's a HUGE fire), this time I actually WANTED to to, and I

felt I could. I didn't but I felt a real disappointment in the pit of my stomach

when I decided not to.

 

Anywho there are little things here and there, dreams, other visions and such

but that's the gist of it. Once again, I thank all of you who have shared your

experiences for me and the world to read, and thank you for taking the time to

read everything I've written, I hope someone finds something of value in what

I've shared as I have with so many others ^.^

 

Live in Love,

Jess