Odd dream

[Guest guest]

Last night I dreamed about shaktipat. This was very strange as I have never

actually experienced this. I was at this cabin in the woods that I stayed at

many years ago in summer camp as a child. Suddenly the word " shaktipat " was said

loudly amidst a bunch of other voices and I felt an extreme amount of energy

across my back around my heart chakra where it always is. Then I was rolling

across the floor. I remember doing this as a child when you lay on the ground

and roll down a steep hill, but the floor was flat and I could not stop rolling.

Eventually I stopped and thought about some things that happened recently and

started to feel sad but the feeling got sapped away from me. I was told " Why do

you always try to make yourself suffer? " and " I won't let you make yourself

suffer. " There was a lot of heat and light and I felt scared so I tried to get

to my computer so I could ask for help and it wouldn't let me! I struggled and

after managing to slide across the floor on my belly I got to the computer but

the screen was cracked and I couldn't read anything on it. I got mad and yelled

at it for not letting me ask for help. I tried typing on the keyboard anyway but

most of the letters were missing and I couldn't read anything on the screen; it

was too blurry. Eventually I got pushed back against the wall across the floor

and all I could do was lay there. I heard voices talking. I had no energy; I

could try to make my body move but it would not respond to me. I was just kind

of floating, and there were no real thoughts in my head, and then I was on fire

but I wasn't burning. These last few sensations I've been experiencing a lot not

just in dreams but also in real life. I'll try to feel something and it gets

sapped away, and just replaced by that floating feeling, or I want to move to do

something and cant because I'm in some kind of trance state. It's almost like

sleep paralysis but its not really heavy like that is or scary. One weird thing

did happen yesterday my crown area was feeling itchy and I scratched it without

thinking (big mistake) and my scalp started bleeding. Of course it was painful

the rest of the day and stung pretty bad and it seemed to amplify the energy

around it so it just stung even worse.

 

Anyhow. I'd seen a lot of the posts about ego release lately and I know this is

part of what I am going through but it keeps turning into a mess because I guess

I am just not really sure what part of me is ego and what isn't.