Keep em coming my friend.. sharings of awakenings

[Guest guest]

Zach,

Michelle here.

AGREED 150% w/ .. thank you for sharing and keep doing so. We all are

learning from each other. While I am having the physical effects, I am not

having the spiritual effects you are having and THOSE are the ones I so desire

so.. we all keep plugging away at it. To be able to go in the vortex to

Nirvana.. yes, that is the memory I'm so desperate to recapture..

 

Like you, it seems things balanced out after we experienced the physical stuff.

At times I've wondered if I'm doing something wrong but that is just worry/ego

getting in the way. I've actually gotten to sleep a nite or two for more than 3

hours a pop (smiles). The hand dances continue. They are so reverent, so slow

and specific that it makes me almost cry at the sincerity and devotion that I

feel goes with this dance I am not in control of. My hands will do these

beautiful intricate spirals and then palms come together and raise upward as if

in offering to God? I cry a lot during these or am in awe and say in my head how

beautiful it is that I am experiencing the raw beauty of love and giving myself

up to my higher good.

 

I haven't posted in a while to make sure that I was not acting in ego or holding

too strongly to the " phenomenon " part of it.. Sort of a test for myself.

 

Things are emotional for me right now. I woke up last nite w/ remnants of a

dream, trying to solve a problem or fix something that was beyond my control was

the overall summary of it (I cannot recall the details). I'm having realizations

of sorts that I'm going to have to let go of the previous belief systems and

some of the things I was told that I accepted as truth to the core of me; a

purging. For SOME REASON, this is painful for me. Because I'm being scorged,

emptied. What do you hold on to when you're empty. BUT a vessel cannot be

filled if it's full of putrid rain water eh?

 

My heart chakra has been the focal point for the last several days; sometimes to

the point of pain and sometimes simply an ache I cannot describe... like a loss

or a longing or????

 

One thing that IS concerning me though is that I am losing interest in things I

am not supposed to be losing interest in! I cannot get lost in the

emotion/feelings and not want to " come back " from them. I'm losing track of

time. I must continue to be productive at work or we'll be facing new

challenges that are my fault.. but my HEART is not in it. I think of the posts

read or the experiences and get lost in my thoughts. Right now, this is my

biggest challenge.. FOCUS..

 

/m

 

Update: The beautiful blue/green Cuban Knight Anole lizard LIVED and is yet

again happy in the canopy of my elder black oak in my front yard.. Averaging

77degrees during the day this week in Miami..

So hopefully if it was a test...