Guest guest Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hi to all, I am in one of those phases that will pass of course but I am fluctuating between enduring / surrendering / resenting / the internal and external that is being given to me for a while now. I have been reading the posts but I have been in a very apart place. It would take far too long to explain all that has been going on, but one word describes most of it pretty well, and that is " disconnected " from all. I have " been " disconnected, or so it seems. (not disconnected physically as K is still present in a tactile way) Being Disconnected is being in a sort of wilderness that i really want to run away from! Sometimes it can be difficult for me to be with the " disconnecttedness " but the challenge that is really greater than being with that, is to communicate with others and indeed with myself from a place of love when I am not feeling love's presence. Crossness and irritation arise when I move away from acceptence and surrender of the disconection and when I also negativly engage with the physical challenges that are now present. Crossness also moves me away from actions as well as being present. I am finding that being cross actually relieves me from feeling disconnected. I am aware that my ego prefers when I am cross and would like me to revel a bit more in it. Being cross takes me away from surrender and acceptence of what is being given just now. It is a challenge to surrender sincerely to what is being given, when part of me wants this " apartness / disconnectedness to pass !! I know that I am missing something and I wish I could grasp it, so that this would pass...see I am at it again ( " so that this would pass " )!! Anyway that is me, going around in circles instead of sitting with the apartness and letting it teach me. Love to you all, Julia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Love for you dear Julia. This will pass but its nice to read that you are aware of the teaching being given! - Good going! - blessings and brightness to you Julia! - chrism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 ? aware of the teaching being given? I don't think so chrism.  Ok I am aware of what is occuring.  I write about what I am observing and how I am behaving, but that does not mean I know the teaching being given. I have an inclination of the " method " the teaching is being given through, but that is all. that is what it feels like to me.   I know and trust from experience that this will pass and that I will have learned something but I am not aware now of what the teaching is now.. Am i not seeing something obvious? Love Julia  ________________________________ <> Fri, January 22, 2010 10:55:58 AM Re: julia update  Love for you dear Julia. This will pass but its nice to read that you are aware of the teaching being given! - Good going! - blessings and brightness to you Julia! - chrism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 (This is a Danielle side note: I hear ya. It's like having a blindfold on and having to use all your other senses to see...trusting that you'll look back from a new perspective and grasp the teaching. If not, you'll get a second chance I guarantee. *I never was much good at pin the tale on the donkey...I always wanted to peek but couldn't bring myself to do it. But, I learned to survey the scene, check the wind and sun and chattery voices for direction, balance myself after being spun in circles, let go of the outcome and just go for it with all of my heart.) Hugs: -Danielle , Julia Ahern <jajahern wrote: > > ? aware of the teaching being given? I don't think so chrism. > Love Julia > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hi Julia Yes, I know that space well that you are in, and how there is such a felt urgency to 'escape it'. Its a difficult space to inhabit. What I find helpful to remember is the knowledge that learning and teaching is underway, and bringing open minded curiosity to the situation will eventually reveal the lesson... love and illumination Bruce , Julia Ahern <jajahern wrote: > > ? aware of the teaching being given? I don't think so chrism.  Ok I am aware of what is occuring.  I write about what I am observing and how I am behaving, > but that does not mean I know the teaching being given. I have an inclination of the " method " the teaching is being given through, but that is all. that is what it feels like to me.   I know and trust from experience that this will pass and that I will have learned something but I am not aware now of what the teaching is now.. Am i not seeing something obvious? > Love Julia > >  > > > > ________________________________ > <> > > Fri, January 22, 2010 10:55:58 AM > Re: julia update > >  > Love for you dear Julia. This will pass but its nice to read that you are aware of the teaching being given! - Good going! - blessings and brightness to you Julia! - chrism > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 22, 2010 Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Part of the teaching is IN the observing and the observation of your own behavior and the understanding of what the ego would prefer etc. The knowledge that this too will pass and that there are greater learnings to be had after these areas of observation are finished is also part of the package. There are deeper issues at work in being resolved beyond what you write of. It is these that are much of the source of your current instruction. Write to me offlist and we can go into these if you wish. - blessings dear Julia!- chrism > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 23, 2010 Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 Thank you Danielle Bruce Diane and Stephen your words have been very helpful. Love Julia , " " <> wrote: >> > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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