beginning to surrender

[Guest guest]

greeting brothers and sisters of kunda-light,

 

as you may know i am new to this group and write as a beginner on the subject of

surrender. it sounds easy, yet how hard..paradoxical it seems, for me anyway. i

tend to be very practical, so when i began to see/read about the importance of

surrendering, i knew i had a dilemma to work out in a way i could make it real

or work for me. one of the reasons its been an issue with me is due to my

background (and personality aka ego/subconscious mind/soul/memory track). both

in my past ninja training as well as in swami seminary, it seemed the focus was

on self control, discipline, hard work or effort. thus the idea of surrender as

proposed on KAS website and within this forum is kinda foreign. i can work with

ideas like mushin/no thought/intuition/non-judgementalism but once reading

Chrisms recent list for which surrender should be applied to i had to begin anew

(nice to be stimulated into thinking new thoughts not yet thought, feelings not

yet felt! thanks chrism, and to all recently posting lately:) you are all

helping me more than may show through my writing now.

 

i began to link idea of surrender with the feeling state of being open, to

receive...acceptance of what ever entered into my horizon of awareness in each

and every now i encounter...i see the now as that which has been pre-sent or

for-given. i applied this idea of surrender first to the body and next mind,

wherein i figured if my body was fully and truly relaxed (not

tight/constricted/closed) then i would be porous or more open. only when i was

physically relaxed could i get further from the bodily awareness, thus shift

awareness/attention=energy into the mental body. at first i began realizing this

was (for me) a creation of a sacred space to which i felt was akin to an

electrical state of neutrality or perhaps slightly negative/yin/receptive

feeling state wherein the currents could flux upward towards the positive pole

of my being.

 

 

for me at this time i feel surrender has tangibly begun through relaxation which

is expansion...these terms and more of the like are my beginner understanding of

surrender on a practical and experiential level. i think down the road,

surrender probably equates to union or merging or becoming one with 'that'

(whole/hole or doorway to singularity/god) where in dissolution of ego must be

final, meaning loss of complete identity with body and personality/soul (scary

subject for me at this time). for now i see ego as a necessary tool with which

spirit can directly commune with body so as to take care of the physical vessel.

i can't speak of any direct knowledge/experience wherein ego is fully

surrendered whilst spirit still associates with my body. i don't see it as a

struggle to surrender, just a process of letting go physically and mentally.

lastly attitude is all important for me in this process of surrender wherein i

currently feel its fine to have enjoyment of the physical as long as attachment

is low meaning if i loose something of physical value it is fine for where there

is no coveting there is so suffering.

 

i may be off the bulls eye target of the intended purpose of surrender wherein

i'm linking surrender to an electrical and mental and physical state, or shall i

say, skill worthy of daily practice?

 

shanti, tim

[Guest guest]

This is so incredibly beautiful - thanks for sharing. GCDeb

 

 

 

 

THE FRIEND CAME TO RAVISH ME (by Shannon).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

tim:

 

Welcome and thank you for this lovely inspirational piece. I agree with Deb-

this is beautiful. What you say resonates with me and makes so much sense. I

can understand surrender as I do so many concepts intellectually but here you

brought the concepts to life and made it easier to grasp more physically and

emotionally.

 

I thank you - your path has served you well.

e