Guest guest Posted February 20, 2010 Report Share Posted February 20, 2010 Hi, I don't really know where to begin. I am 28 years old. I have been having third eye/kundalini activity since I can remember. My first memory as a baby was feeling pure love for my mother and I recall the memory as an image of what I saw and pink sparkly light in my third eye representing emotion. I am the same today as I was then, in that space behind my eyes. In the summer of 2001 I accidentally discovered transcendental meditation(I had never heard of it before)... I was just trying to quiet my mind and send away all my pain when I took the form of a baby in my third eye... but to the point where my body consciousness took that form as well. I literally felt the size of a baby... even though I was a young adult lying in my bed. Then, it felt like dying almost... like slipping away, my body fell asleep but my mind was awake. A healing light moved down my limbs relaxing and soothing my joints. My third eye was alive with color, movement and shapes affecting my body consciousness... I would feel small as a mouse one second then large as a whale...and so many shapes in between. I was even an apple hanging from a tree. The feeling was pure joy... pure bliss.. like nothing I had ever felt since I was that baby in my mother's arms. I have never been able to reach that exact state again so perfectly... now that I have kids and I am the only one they depend on, I cannot lose my fear of leaving them should my spirit not be able to return to my body. That is how I have analyzed it. I had a bad experience summer 2008. An entity came into me( I was still a christian and I was asking the holy spirit to enter me.. so of course I thought I had received the holy spirit ha.)-- I breathed it in with a breath and it filled me up. It was completely alive and powerful and its eyes were staring into me -- right in front of my third eye. It made me obey it... showing me the passage in the bible where anania and sephira were killed for lying to the holy spirit. It made me confess all wrong doing... I had to really degrade myself... I came to my abusive parents and asked for forgiveness for not honoring them as the bible said. I had to ask forgiveness from my abusive ex husband.... my children got sick and I lost my job... it had me spend money that I had carefully saved for 2 years... on stupid things... kept reminding me that this was a test of faith and that it would provide for me. It had me autowrite all kind of apocolyptic sounding diatribes... it said it was god. Positively, It taught me about world religions, gender concepts, how to communicate with all manner of spirits... it even had me traveling around doing strange assignments. I never lost my wits... I wrote to a friend of mine, just saying I know I seem completely crazy... and none of it makes sense to me, but if it is god then I have to see this through. I need to cut this short. I wound up getting pregnant due to its instructions... I lost my religion that I had followed for 27 years(that is a good thing though)... it destroyed my health and life in a way... the father of the baby is a jerk and I had to let him move in because I was so sick in my pregnanc.... the prophetic visions it gave did not come true. I have never had anything like that happen before... and if it hadn't been for my religious programming I would have never gone along with any of it... so I really don't think one can just write me off as schizophrenic. I guess that is enough for now, thank you for getting through all that Amanda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2010 Report Share Posted February 20, 2010 Dear Amanda, A warm welcome to our K community. Look forward to hearing more from you. Love, Jan , " Amanda " <acsuth wrote: > > Hi, > I don't really know where to begin. I am 28 years old. I have been having third eye/kundalini activity since I can remember. My first memory as a baby was feeling pure love for my mother and I recall the memory as an image of what I saw and pink sparkly light in my third eye representing emotion. I am the same today as I was then, in that space behind my eyes. > > In the summer of 2001 I accidentally discovered transcendental meditation(I had never heard of it before)... I was just trying to quiet my mind and send away all my pain when I took the form of a baby in my third eye... but to the point where my body consciousness took that form as well. I literally felt the size of a baby... even though I was a young adult lying in my bed. Then, it felt like dying almost... like slipping away, my body fell asleep but my mind was awake. A healing light moved down my limbs relaxing and soothing my joints. My third eye was alive with color, movement and shapes affecting my body consciousness... I would feel small as a mouse one second then large as a whale...and so many shapes in between. I was even an apple hanging from a tree. > > The feeling was pure joy... pure bliss.. like nothing I had ever felt since I was that baby in my mother's arms. > > I have never been able to reach that exact state again so perfectly... now that I have kids and I am the only one they depend on, I cannot lose my fear of leaving them should my spirit not be able to return to my body. That is how I have analyzed it. > > I had a bad experience summer 2008. An entity came into me( I was still a christian and I was asking the holy spirit to enter me.. so of course I thought I had received the holy spirit ha.)-- I breathed it in with a breath and it filled me up. It was completely alive and powerful and its eyes were staring into me -- right in front of my third eye. > > It made me obey it... showing me the passage in the bible where anania and sephira were killed for lying to the holy spirit. It made me confess all wrong doing... I had to really degrade myself... I came to my abusive parents and asked for forgiveness for not honoring them as the bible said. I had to ask forgiveness from my abusive ex husband.... my children got sick and I lost my job... it had me spend money that I had carefully saved for 2 years... on stupid things... kept reminding me that this was a test of faith and that it would provide for me. > > It had me autowrite all kind of apocolyptic sounding diatribes... it said it was god. Positively, It taught me about world religions, gender concepts, how to communicate with all manner of spirits... it even had me traveling around doing strange assignments. > > I never lost my wits... I wrote to a friend of mine, just saying I know I seem completely crazy... and none of it makes sense to me, but if it is god then I have to see this through. > > I need to cut this short. I wound up getting pregnant due to its instructions... I lost my religion that I had followed for 27 years(that is a good thing though)... it destroyed my health and life in a way... the father of the baby is a jerk and I had to let him move in because I was so sick in my pregnanc.... the prophetic visions it gave did not come true. > > I have never had anything like that happen before... and if it hadn't been for my religious programming I would have never gone along with any of it... so I really don't think one can just write me off as schizophrenic. > > I guess that is enough for now, thank you for getting through all that > > Amanda > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2010 Report Share Posted February 20, 2010 Amanda. Thanks for sharing your story. Its people like you that give me faith that i can and will get through anything. The way you talk about the positives and how you have benefited from this hard lesson really inspires me when it comes to fear and entites. thank you so much. bless you with love Mark E Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2010 Report Share Posted February 20, 2010 Our fearless leader-Chrism--is in Peru. I'll be glad when he can interpret your situation. Welcome! SC - yogijan Saturday, February 20, 2010 7:31 PM Re: new member - intro Dear Amanda, A warm welcome to our K community. Look forward to hearing more from you. Love, Jan , " Amanda " <acsuth wrote: > > Hi, > I don't really know where to begin. I am 28 years old. I have been having third eye/kundalini activity since I can remember. My first memory as a baby was feeling pure love for my mother and I recall the memory as an image of what I saw and pink sparkly light in my third eye representing emotion. I am the same today as I was then, in that space behind my eyes. > > In the summer of 2001 I accidentally discovered transcendental meditation(I had never heard of it before)... I was just trying to quiet my mind and send away all my pain when I took the form of a baby in my third eye... but to the point where my body consciousness took that form as well. I literally felt the size of a baby... even though I was a young adult lying in my bed. Then, it felt like dying almost... like slipping away, my body fell asleep but my mind was awake. A healing light moved down my limbs relaxing and soothing my joints. My third eye was alive with color, movement and shapes affecting my body consciousness... I would feel small as a mouse one second then large as a whale...and so many shapes in between. I was even an apple hanging from a tree. > > The feeling was pure joy... pure bliss.. like nothing I had ever felt since I was that baby in my mother's arms. > > I have never been able to reach that exact state again so perfectly... now that I have kids and I am the only one they depend on, I cannot lose my fear of leaving them should my spirit not be able to return to my body. That is how I have analyzed it. > > I had a bad experience summer 2008. An entity came into me( I was still a christian and I was asking the holy spirit to enter me.. so of course I thought I had received the holy spirit ha.)-- I breathed it in with a breath and it filled me up. It was completely alive and powerful and its eyes were staring into me -- right in front of my third eye. > > It made me obey it... showing me the passage in the bible where anania and sephira were killed for lying to the holy spirit. It made me confess all wrong doing... I had to really degrade myself... I came to my abusive parents and asked for forgiveness for not honoring them as the bible said. I had to ask forgiveness from my abusive ex husband.... my children got sick and I lost my job... it had me spend money that I had carefully saved for 2 years... on stupid things... kept reminding me that this was a test of faith and that it would provide for me. > > It had me autowrite all kind of apocolyptic sounding diatribes... it said it was god. Positively, It taught me about world religions, gender concepts, how to communicate with all manner of spirits... it even had me traveling around doing strange assignments. > > I never lost my wits... I wrote to a friend of mine, just saying I know I seem completely crazy... and none of it makes sense to me, but if it is god then I have to see this through. > > I need to cut this short. I wound up getting pregnant due to its instructions... I lost my religion that I had followed for 27 years(that is a good thing though)... it destroyed my health and life in a way... the father of the baby is a jerk and I had to let him move in because I was so sick in my pregnanc.... the prophetic visions it gave did not come true. > > I have never had anything like that happen before... and if it hadn't been for my religious programming I would have never gone along with any of it... so I really don't think one can just write me off as schizophrenic. > > I guess that is enough for now, thank you for getting through all that > > Amanda > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2010 Report Share Posted February 20, 2010 Hi Mark and everyone else, Thank-you for the welcome. I tend to think 'bad' experience when I tell about what happened in 2008 simply because I was given visions and prophesies and then told to tell several people about it. So, now that things did not come to pass and my explanations are unorthodox, to say the least, I look like a total fool that needs serious professional help... and I was also disappointed it didn't fit my narrow-minded concept of god, back then. So, my pride is hurting... I guess learning how to take hits and get back up is all part of maturity. If I really think about it, smarting pride aside, it was almost perfectly balanced positive and negative. I do have a beautiful child that I never would have had otherwise... of course, I have lost financial independence and still not quite sure where to go as far as work, career. Each day seems long now, but I know one day the kids will be older and things will be a little less physically demanding for me day by day. Thanks again for the welcome and I look forward to getting to know you all. Amanda , " sinebyte " <sinebyte wrote: > > > Amanda. Thanks for sharing your story. > Its people like you that give me faith that i can and will > get through anything. The way you talk about the positives > and how you have benefited from this hard lesson really > inspires me when it comes to fear and entites. thank you > so much. bless you with love > > Mark E > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 Dear Amanda and all the new members, Welcome to the KAS family. thank you for sharing your story. I look forwared to getting to know you all. Love julia , " Amanda " <acsuth wrote: > > Hi, > I don't really know where to begin. I am 28 years old. I have been having third eye/kundalini activity since I can remember. My first memory as a baby was feeling pure love for my mother and I recall the memory as an image of what I saw and pink sparkly light in my third eye representing emotion. I am the same today as I was then, in that space behind my eyes. > > In the summer of 2001 I accidentally discovered transcendental meditation(I had never heard of it before)... I was just trying to quiet my mind and send away all my pain when I took the form of a baby in my third eye... but to the point where my body consciousness took that form as well. I literally felt the size of a baby... even though I was a young adult lying in my bed. Then, it felt like dying almost... like slipping away, my body fell asleep but my mind was awake. A healing light moved down my limbs relaxing and soothing my joints. My third eye was alive with color, movement and shapes affecting my body consciousness... I would feel small as a mouse one second then large as a whale...and so many shapes in between. I was even an apple hanging from a tree. > > The feeling was pure joy... pure bliss.. like nothing I had ever felt since I was that baby in my mother's arms. > > I have never been able to reach that exact state again so perfectly... now that I have kids and I am the only one they depend on, I cannot lose my fear of leaving them should my spirit not be able to return to my body. That is how I have analyzed it. > > I had a bad experience summer 2008. An entity came into me( I was still a christian and I was asking the holy spirit to enter me.. so of course I thought I had received the holy spirit ha.)-- I breathed it in with a breath and it filled me up. It was completely alive and powerful and its eyes were staring into me -- right in front of my third eye. > > It made me obey it... showing me the passage in the bible where anania and sephira were killed for lying to the holy spirit. It made me confess all wrong doing... I had to really degrade myself... I came to my abusive parents and asked for forgiveness for not honoring them as the bible said. I had to ask forgiveness from my abusive ex husband.... my children got sick and I lost my job... it had me spend money that I had carefully saved for 2 years... on stupid things... kept reminding me that this was a test of faith and that it would provide for me. > > It had me autowrite all kind of apocolyptic sounding diatribes... it said it was god. Positively, It taught me about world religions, gender concepts, how to communicate with all manner of spirits... it even had me traveling around doing strange assignments. > > I never lost my wits... I wrote to a friend of mine, just saying I know I seem completely crazy... and none of it makes sense to me, but if it is god then I have to see this through. > > I need to cut this short. I wound up getting pregnant due to its instructions... I lost my religion that I had followed for 27 years(that is a good thing though)... it destroyed my health and life in a way... the father of the baby is a jerk and I had to let him move in because I was so sick in my pregnanc.... the prophetic visions it gave did not come true. > > I have never had anything like that happen before... and if it hadn't been for my religious programming I would have never gone along with any of it... so I really don't think one can just write me off as schizophrenic. > > I guess that is enough for now, thank you for getting through all that > > Amanda > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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