Guest guest Posted February 20, 2010 Report Share Posted February 20, 2010 and I thought it was possession. It happened night after night. I screamed, " Satan I forsake you! " and it stopped. I warred with the 'man-god' in the sky for years. I enjoyed using energy perversely to cause discomfort in authority figures. I hated authority and the man-god. And then I hated myself and experienced great fear for many years. I went on a spiritual quest to New Mexico at age 17 and had a teacher who taught me to look up at my forehead and pray. There I had a vision of a bright white light exploding into me but I was too afraid and looked away in fear of annihilation. I took kung fu with master John SS Leong in Seattle and saw auras, mine was blue and red, the person in front of me was bright green and the Sehing was dark purple, I could not see the master's. I became a musician, wild and partying on the road, meditating and talking with consciousness. I saw entities. One was terrifying with great malice, devoid of love, it chilled my blood. Days later, I challenged it by taking it into myself and laughing at it. I then saw that it was a mere child, powerless. Years later I was initiated by Master Ching Hai and one night she shook my third eye and that week I saw a 'dead' person in full color; the dog in my lap jumped down and barked at the 'dead' person who was staring at me making it impossible later cast off as imagination. During the Master Ching Hai stint I heard the music of heaven. It felt like I would dissolve forever and out of terror I stopped it. Another missed opportunity. Two years ago, I joined swami-g's group on an invitation. I loved her and the group so much. I was a diligent sadhaka for over a year and then my guru sent me away in what felt like banishment because I asked why they cared about some woman in cornville. I said, " who cares about this woman in cornville? don't all paths lead to the same place? " She deleted my account. She told me to go and see for myself and report back in a month. But I felt she didn't want me to come back so I didn't. So, I don't know if that was a kundalini life or not. I'm over 50 now thinking, wtf? But I'm still trying, and get little glimpses here and there. That was some of the stuff I've experienced, since I've been kind of quiet here. My ex-Guruji said not to focus on phenomenon, so I never really mentioned it before, but my whole life has a lot of that kind of minor phenomenon stuff. And I see here that people are more open. I hope ChrisM can help. Sometimes I feel like I will never get over guruji. Hopefully the safeties will unlock the blocks. -gale Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 thank you for sharing. That was an intriguing account. Zach Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 Hi gale, If anyone can be of help for you then it is chrism. He has great wisdom insight love compassion and understanding. The safeties are the practice that open us all. thank you for sharing your story, it is so wonderful that we can read of all our different ways and paths and in sharing we can come to see that our own path no matter how difficult is unique, precious and gifted to us. Love julia , " elagmck " <elagmck wrote: > And I see here that people are more open. I hope ChrisM can help. Sometimes I feel like I will never get over guruji. Hopefully the safeties will unlock the blocks. > -gale > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 Thanks for sharing, Gale, and I hope you find the answers you seek. Amanda , " elagmck " <elagmck wrote: > > and I thought it was possession. It happened night after night. I screamed, " Satan I forsake you! " and it stopped. I warred with the 'man-god' in the sky for years. I enjoyed using energy perversely to cause discomfort in authority figures. I hated authority and the man-god. And then I hated myself and experienced great fear for many years. I went on a spiritual quest to New Mexico at age 17 and had a teacher who taught me to look up at my forehead and pray. There I had a vision of a bright white light exploding into me but I was too afraid and looked away in fear of annihilation. I took kung fu with master John SS Leong in Seattle and saw auras, mine was blue and red, the person in front of me was bright green and the Sehing was dark purple, I could not see the master's. I became a musician, wild and partying on the road, meditating and talking with consciousness. I saw entities. One was terrifying with great malice, devoid of love, it chilled my blood. Days later, I challenged it by taking it into myself and laughing at it. I then saw that it was a mere child, powerless. Years later I was initiated by Master Ching Hai and one night she shook my third eye and that week I saw a 'dead' person in full color; the dog in my lap jumped down and barked at the 'dead' person who was staring at me making it impossible later cast off as imagination. During the Master Ching Hai stint I heard the music of heaven. It felt like I would dissolve forever and out of terror I stopped it. Another missed opportunity. Two years ago, I joined swami-g's group on an invitation. I loved her and the group so much. I was a diligent sadhaka for over a year and then my guru sent me away in what felt like banishment because I asked why they cared about some woman in cornville. I said, " who cares about this woman in cornville? don't all paths lead to the same place? " She deleted my account. She told me to go and see for myself and report back in a month. But I felt she didn't want me to come back so I didn't. > > So, I don't know if that was a kundalini life or not. I'm over 50 now thinking, wtf? But I'm still trying, and get little glimpses here and there. That was some of the stuff I've experienced, since I've been kind of quiet here. My ex-Guruji said not to focus on phenomenon, so I never really mentioned it before, but my whole life has a lot of that kind of minor phenomenon stuff. And I see here that people are more open. I hope ChrisM can help. Sometimes I feel like I will never get over guruji. Hopefully the safeties will unlock the blocks. > -gale > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 Thanks Amanda, Maybe some answers cannot be found in duality, so back to the practices. Honestly, some gurus are here to just simply confound us. > Thanks for sharing, Gale, and I hope you find the answers you seek. > > Amanda > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 Thank you Julia, Here's to the safeties! Here's to ChrisM! Here's to being NOBODY! > Hi gale, > If anyone can be of help for you then it is chrism. He has great wisdom insight love compassion and understanding. The safeties are the practice that open us all. > thank you for sharing your story, it is so wonderful that we can read of all our different ways and paths and in sharing we can come to see that our own path no matter how difficult is unique, precious and gifted to us. > Love julia > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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