checking in

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

Thanks Julia for the reminder of the daily practice of the safeties. I went to

my dear friend Kathy's memorial service this week. it was beautiful. her

husband told a beautiful story of how they met. i was struck by the community

of love in the room. i made a point of going up to each of the family members

to say a few words and to share some stories of Kathy. i had been going to the

church the service was held at previously and reconnected with the minister who

i'm fond of so got up yesterday & went back to church. it seems important now

to move outward.

 

I've been feeling more love as my heart opens one petal at a time. i've been so

afraid that if i love or express my love that either it will be used or i'll be

engulfed. this is, finally, going by the wayside. these restriction, as the

result of old old habitual beliefs, are evaporating as i do my practices and

read the posts and teachings here. i'm working with an asperger's boy (i have

no experience with this but somehow he came to me). He is wonderfully off

center in his thinking. i've just been with him, trying to meet him where he

is. I've seen him four times. His mother came in last week & asked to talk

with me and told me how calm he has been since coming to see me and other people

have commented that he is calmer, happier, etc. the power of presence & love as

i like this kid alot and I am not doing any sophisticated techniques with him.

i am so grateful for this community.

love and happy monday,

Jan

[Guest guest]

Dear Jan,

 

It is god to hear form you and thank you for sharing what has been happening in

your life of late. The word courage came to mind as I read your words.

That is one lucky little boy to have you to spend such quality time with and I

am sure he has much to teach you too...lol

A friend of mine has a son with Aspergers and he has a way of seeing things that

often goes straight to the heart of the matter.

May you both continue to enjoy each others company. Love and blessings to you

both.

Love Julia

 

, " yogijan " <drjandean

wrote:

>

> Hi everyone,

>

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I've been having a lot going on energetically. K is working on my thymus and

throat areas. A lot of fluttering, pressure, anxiety for the last several days.

Today is the anniversary of my mom's death five years ago & I could feel it

coming. I had a few incidents this week where people said aggressive things to

me. i felt it " ping " off my thymus area. it was weird, i viscerally felt it

hit there and bounce off. it momentarily hurt, physically and emotionally, and

then I saw it for what it was, not about me. I've also been having a lot of

vivid dreams. At some point, I'll try to write about the content as it seems

like there is alot of stuff being worked on and through.

love and blessings,

jan

[Guest guest]

Hi Jan,

 

I have also had a lot of throat area activity. The last 7 days have been really

demanding, with a large influx of activity last Friday. I went through a week of

strong pressure in the front and back of my neck, tension all around my neck,

into my shoulders and shoulder blades, tension at the back of my head and also

3rd eye. It was painful and there were sharp pains in the sides of my head.

 

Dream series were prolific. too much to go into, and several psychic dreams and

phenomena. I was very confused yesterday, and for a few days had no

concentration, just wave after wave coming in and taking me for a ride. It felt

as though I was on a drug trip; a moment of clarity and then swept away again (I

dont do drugs; just recalling my youth..) Today was better; I felt tired, yet

balanced, and for long periods no thoughts, just being. My neck and shoulders

are still painful, yet the tension seems to be lifting a little....

 

 

Feeling tired yet blissed tonight...

 

love

bruce

 

, " yogijan " <drjandean

wrote:

>

> Hi all,

> I've been having a lot going on energetically. K is working on my thymus and

throat areas. A lot of fluttering, pressure, anxiety for the last several days.

Today is the anniversary of my mom's death five years ago & I could feel it

coming. I had a few incidents this week where people said aggressive things to

me. i felt it " ping " off my thymus area. it was weird, i viscerally felt it

hit there and bounce off. it momentarily hurt, physically and emotionally, and

then I saw it for what it was, not about me. I've also been having a lot of

vivid dreams. At some point, I'll try to write about the content as it seems

like there is alot of stuff being worked on and through.

> love and blessings,

> jan

>

[Guest guest]

Dear all,

Yesterday all day I had alot going on in my throat chakra and some soft

palpitations in my heart. I did the trakata meditation last night and while I

was doing it I became very moved by the generosity of as well as the

generosity of Amma, a teacher I've visited a couple of times and had some

spiritual experiences with early when my K activated. My mind went to the link

between the two being selfless service and was moved even more deeply and being

aware there was no mistake that I was drawn to them both, that this is my path.

Then the intuitive direction was given to listen to Chrism's talks on money. I

did and it was all about surrender and generosity of spirit. I felt moved by

these talks and if you haven't already, I recommend listening to them.

 

This is a theme lately, being moved. I was with some friends over the weekend

and watched this show that moved me. I found myself hiding it from my friends

who are from my pre K days and my face got red. Later, I was reflecting what

that was about. Interesting, its easier for me to show anger and frustration

than love and exuberance (perhaps related to growing up in a stoic alcoholic

family?). I want to be moved and show my deep emotional self.

Love to all,

Jan

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

took a nice run along the river this morning and saw several turtles and thought

of you, Danielle. There are several ponds near the river full of them. spent

the last two days at a conference I sort of fell into. It was really well done

and great learning but difficult - it was on Trauma Based Therapy with children

and families. The presenter has done this work for thirty years and presented

cases that left images in my head. I've been actively working to separate

myself from the stories I heard. The beautiful part were the stories of

healing. This man had a big heart and does beautiful work.

 

Not really wanting to share this, but think its important to put it out there.

I've been having a rough go of it. Have been wanting to retreat from life, have

some social fear coming up. Weird. I felt this growing up alot and retreated

to nature and books. I'm not retreating but just want to. I'm also aware that

I'm going through a bit of gropping in the dark with God/Shakti/the Divine. I

marvel at some people's ease with surrender but its been hard for me. I go

through the motions and trust. I woke early morning with gentle pulsations in

my heart. Seems like Shakti is working on my throat, yes, but also heart and

eyes. The energy moves up and down. Sometimes I have mild headaches and

pressure in my head and then others a pressure/fluttering in my heart and then

the throat stuff. when its in my throat is when I feel really panicky around

people though it doesn't show.

 

I have been really putting my focus on the safeties, particularly forgiveness,

IJ, and gratitude. I'm really getting at a deeper level that the safeties are

the essence of practice and will safely navigate me through these difficulties.

 

Hope you all have a lovely Saturday.

Love and blessings,

Jan

[Guest guest]

Hello Jan,

I was a bit surprised at your email.... I thought perhaps you were in the

same course as me, but we don't have turtles in the area.

I organized a two day Trauma Healing workshop for the Child & Family

Services agency where I work. It ended yesterday.

The first day was quite heavy as we went into the topic of Residential

Schools that First Nations children were required to attend under law. The

abuses were terrible and have spanned five generations. And a few of my

co-workers are res. school survivors.

 

As I was feeling the energy of the room I kept reminding myself that it was

not my journey. And that carrying it for the children does not lessen their

load. That carrying it only weakens me and does not allow me to stay strong

to assist them. However, as I was so busy organizing and participating, I

did not place my shields quick enough and released energetic gunk for an

hour after work.

 

The second day was much better as I reminded myself of the Divine plan, and

that everything has a purpose. I have compassion and respect for what they

endured, but I do not need to carry it for them. It serves no purpose. And

the forgiveness, as the abusers are usually former victims themselves.

 

Our presenter also has a big heart and I admire his strength for sharing

healing techniques for trauma.

 

Every bit helps...

 

Carla

 

On 17 April 2010 08:45, yogijan <drjandean wrote:

 

>

>

> Hi all,

> took a nice run along the river this morning and saw several turtles and

> thought of you, Danielle. There are several ponds near the river full of

> them. spent the last two days at a conference I sort of fell into. It was

> really well done and great learning but difficult - it was on Trauma Based

> Therapy with children and families. The presenter has done this work for

> thirty years and presented cases that left images in my head. I've been

> actively working to separate myself from the stories I heard. The beautiful

> part were the stories of healing. This man had a big heart and does

> beautiful work.

>

>

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Jan,

 

This surrender sure is a " funny " thing. As you say sometimes surrender is

easy and sometimes surrender is not easy at all. Sometimes surrender is being

given and we are hardly aware of it. As you have shared I think surrernder is

really really being given when we move forward in faith and trust through the

days that are rough and difficult for us.

When we keep on groping in the dark for god /shakti / the divine, when we seem

to be going through the motions but we still trust.... we are surrendering for

sure. Surrender is given when we are feeling panicky but we focus on inner joy.

Jan your posting is a beautiful example of surrender within a rough and

difficult time and I celebrate your sharing of it.

 

love julia

 

 

 

, " yogijan " <drjandean

wrote:

>

> Hi all,

> took a nice run along the river this morning and saw several turtles and

thought of you, Danielle. There are several ponds near the river full of them.

spent the last two days at a conference I sort of fell into. It was really well

done and great learning but difficult - it was on Trauma Based Therapy with

children and families. The presenter has done this work for thirty years and

presented cases that left images in my head. I've been actively working to

separate myself from the stories I heard. The beautiful part were the stories

of healing. This man had a big heart and does beautiful work.

>

> Not really wanting to share this, but think its important to put it out there.

I've been having a rough go of it. Have been wanting to retreat from life, have

some social fear coming up. Weird. I felt this growing up alot and retreated

to nature and books. I'm not retreating but just want to. I'm also aware that

I'm going through a bit of gropping in the dark with God/Shakti/the Divine. I

marvel at some people's ease with surrender but its been hard for me. I go

through the motions and trust. I woke early morning with gentle pulsations in

my heart. Seems like Shakti is working on my throat, yes, but also heart and

eyes. The energy moves up and down. Sometimes I have mild headaches and

pressure in my head and then others a pressure/fluttering in my heart and then

the throat stuff. when its in my throat is when I feel really panicky around

people though it doesn't show.

>

> I have been really putting my focus on the safeties, particularly forgiveness,

IJ, and gratitude. I'm really getting at a deeper level that the safeties are

the essence of practice and will safely navigate me through these difficulties.

>

> Hope you all have a lovely Saturday.

> Love and blessings,

> Jan

>

[Guest guest]

Blessings to you Jan!

 

Yes these issues can be brought up for balancing from the childhood experiences

and are given to you to balance now as an adult. Social fears and wanting to be

alone can also be indicative of the Kundalini giving the compulsion to hibernate

for a time. A cacooning that allows one to have the needed changes without as

much societal programming. However these things manifest try not to give in to

any fears (old or new) that are associated with them.

 

Go with the Gold that is forming within you my friend! - chrism

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I went to a buddhist class last night. There were no practices. We just talked

about some of the principles. While there, my energy got really strong in my

root chakra. I was feeling irritated by some of the talkative people. The

energy surged up into my head and I felt hot, got red in the face, and anxious.

I'm a little broken out today from the heat surge and felt terribly wiped out

but coming back around. Feel wort of like my upper body has been gutted out.

While at work today, I started getting a headache at my temples and a lot of

buzzing in my left ear. As I was at the class, I was wondering what Shakti was

trying to communicate with me. Anyone had something like this happen?

 

I've been aware that I push myself to go to these things to connect with people,

that i " should " connect with people, but really, its not where I am right now.

I feel sort of disconnected lately. Maybe its really detached? Not sure. Been

enjoying walks in nature, being quiet, solitude. My work has been taking off,

lots of clients, and I do feel like my work is coming through me. Yesterday, my

client who brings her daughter with her (now 6 mos) came in and I just love

being around children. I think she found me as delightful as I did here.

Love and blessings to you all,

Jan

[Guest guest]

Sounds like you are an antenna in downtown San Francisco! I've had a few

experiences where I tuned in to the frequencies of those around me and it's been

intense. If your path feels like solitude don't let the expectations of society

force you into " improving " yourself

 

-Gabriel

 

 

, " yogijan " <drjandean

wrote:

>

> Hi all,

> I went to a buddhist class last night. There were no practices. We just

talked about some of the principles. While there, my energy got really strong

in my root chakra. I was feeling irritated by some of the talkative people.

The energy surged up into my head and I felt hot, got red in the face, and

anxious. I'm a little broken out today from the heat surge and felt terribly

wiped out but coming back around. Feel wort of like my upper body has been

gutted out. While at work today, I started getting a headache at my temples and

a lot of buzzing in my left ear. As I was at the class, I was wondering what

Shakti was trying to communicate with me. Anyone had something like this happen?

>

> I've been aware that I push myself to go to these things to connect with

people, that i " should " connect with people, but really, its not where I am

right now. I feel sort of disconnected lately. Maybe its really detached? Not

sure. Been enjoying walks in nature, being quiet, solitude. My work has been

taking off, lots of clients, and I do feel like my work is coming through me.

Yesterday, my client who brings her daughter with her (now 6 mos) came in and I

just love being around children. I think she found me as delightful as I did

here.

> Love and blessings to you all,

> Jan

>