Guest guest Posted March 2, 2010 Report Share Posted March 2, 2010 This might be long...we'll see. I just really want to share it with you all here, I consider you family. I haven't shared this with many people, only a select few, simply because this is a love story and it's not about my current husband. So if you would like to read on, I would love to tell you of a sad story with a happy ending. I'm really opening myself up here....here goes! I was in the service a while back and fell in love with a man, a very funny man. He had some insecurities and always doubted my love for him. We were on and off again alot during the relationship, we were just kids..19-20yrs old. This is part of a poem about him while I was in Korea. We both wrote poetry to eachother. " I can feel you whereever I go, I could be on the other side of the world, look up at the moon and stars and feel your love wash over me, weeping because I can't hold you, knowing there is a part of you inside me, something that will always be. " Shortly after Korea I was pregnant twice with his babies and lost both of them. The second one was the hardest bc the Dr. said it looked like there were to be twins. There were two sacs, both empty, they say they couldn't find anything and I was 8wks pg. Out of my anger and hurt and frustration I broke up with him. It was one of the hardest things I had to go through. The last thing he said to me on the phone was " I love you " and I hung up. He had also started drinking alot and there were other reasons for the break up. I wrote this poem about a year after the break up and right before the war in Iraq started, I'll share a piece of it here, " Here I am, I've made it this far, Yet still I have a long way to go. Only a year ago I was in love with the man that took my kindness and turned it into hate. He still comes in my dreams, Sometimes in different forms, attacking me, Yet still I can't fight back, surrendering to the control that he once had in my life. " He would come in a form of a tiger or panther at times, they were scary dreams. I found out a year ago that he died. A friend of mine emailed me the article and it appeared the cops found him stabbed in the gut laying on the street gutter. He passed away waiting for surgery at the hospital. I cried after reading that...and I thought why am I crying so hard?? I was so upset that he threw his life away and went on the wrong path of self-destruction. I knew he was better than that if he would have applied himself. Being a Christian and knowing he wasn't...I refused to believe that he went to Hell. I had two dreams of him after that. One was funny and he made a joke that I did his laundry in battery acid, I woke up laughing histerically! The next one was the good-bye. I was inprocessing in the military(so I thought) He didn't recognize me, which was a little frustrating. The next thing I remember we're sitting on a bench at the beach at night. He went running into the beach and dancing and laughing and just felt so happy and peaceful. I wanted that so bad, so I leaned in to kiss him and he pulled away. I was crushed that he would do that, but then he pointed his finger and I looked...off into the distance was my current husband sleeping in our bed. This was all telepathy and he reminded me of who I married. I felt horrible at that point that I tried to kiss him. But I woke up in peace knowing that he is happy where he is. It feels so good to know that someone you used to know that was destructive is resting in peace. I feel blessed that he gave me this dream and I told his best friend about it, he was really pleased that I told him too. Glad you made it this far if you did. It feels so good to share this with you all. To get it off of my chest and hope to inspire others. This life is only a glimpse of what is yet to come! God Bless you all, Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2010 Report Share Posted March 2, 2010 Laura, That was beautiful. Mary - " Laura " <lo1o113 Tuesday, March 2, 2010 10:05:32 AM GMT -06:00 US/Canada Central A love story  This might be long...we'll see. I just really want to share it with you all here, I consider you family. I haven't shared this with many people, only a select few, simply because this is a love story and it's not about my current husband. So if you would like to read on, I would love to tell you of a sad story with a happy ending. I'm really opening myself up here....here goes! , Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2010 Report Share Posted March 2, 2010 Dear Laura, Thank you so much for sharing your love story with us and for also sharing the beautiful poetry you wrote to each other. what a gift to receive that dream at the end of the journey. thank you. Love Julia. , " Laura " <lo1o113 wrote: > > This might be long...we'll see. I just really want to share it with you all here, I consider you family. I haven't shared this with many people, only a select few, simply because this is a love story and it's not about my current husband. So if you would like to read on, I would love to tell you of a sad story with a happy ending. I'm really opening myself up here....here goes! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2010 Report Share Posted March 2, 2010 Each relationship offers lessons in love and growth. I have had some loves in my life and when I look back they all were important in different ways. Of late I have been wanting to share with my former loves where I am and how they helped to get me here. You are blessed to have the peace of knowing your love is in a good place. He was able to share with you where he is and see that you are happy in your present situation. There are many types of love - there are many levels of love - and one can love and care for many at the same time. Our society pigeon holes us into believing that we are allowed only one love and it looks like this. I do not buy this at all. Kundalini is all about love - love is the basis for all Kundalini and for all universal consciousness - it seems to me that if that is true then there is love of many hues and colors all about us - all levels all forms. There are as many types of loves as there are peoples we can relate with - Your love was real and true - it was and is part of your past and part of your present. I am very happy you experienced this love. May you experience all the beautiful forms of love that your Kundalini offers - May you know that each and every form of love is a gift - a gift of truth for you and only you. Thank you for sharing Laura... e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 2, 2010 Report Share Posted March 2, 2010 e,Kundalini is all about love - love is the basis for all Kundalini and for all universal consciousness - it seems to me that if that is true then there is love of many hues and colors all about us - all levels all forms. Thank you for your response, you are so right. This caught my eye because the man I loved was black and I'm white, there was alot of contraversy on the outside of our relationship. My husband now can't stand the fact that I was with a black man. I think in my dream he knew that the love for my husband isn't on a deep level. Probably bc I tried to kiss him....I don't know if I want to waste my time " pretending " anymore. I'm in a bit of a pickle... Anyways, I'm just glad that the Kundalini is in my life and was able to give me this dream and it opened up many many windows for me to look out. What a blessing it is and so is this group! Thanks for reading my story! Laura , " " . wrote: > > > > Each relationship offers lessons in love and growth. I have had some loves in my life and when I look back they all were important in different ways. Of late I have been wanting to share with my former loves where I am and how they helped to get me here. > > You are blessed to have the peace of knowing your love is in a good place. He was able to share with you where he is and see that you are happy in your present situation. There are many types of love - there are many levels of love - and one can love and care for many at the same time. > > Our society pigeon holes us into believing that we are allowed only one love and it looks like this. I do not buy this at all. Kundalini is all about love - love is the basis for all Kundalini and for all universal consciousness - it seems to me that if that is true then there is love of many hues and colors all about us - all levels all forms. There are as many types of loves as there are peoples we can relate with - > > Your love was real and true - it was and is part of your past and part of your present. I am very happy you experienced this love. > > May you experience all the beautiful forms of love that your Kundalini offers - May you know that each and every form of love is a gift - a gift of truth for you and only you. > > Thank you for sharing Laura... > > e > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2010 Report Share Posted March 3, 2010 Hi laura, thanks, that was beautiful. Love bruce , " Laura " <lo1o113 wrote: > > This might be long...we'll see. I just really want to share it with you all here, I consider you family. I haven't shared this with many people, only a select few, simply because this is a love story and it's not about my current husband. So if you would like to read on, I would love to tell you of a sad story with a happy ending. I'm really opening myself up here....here goes! > > I was in the service a while back and fell in love with a man, a very funny man. He had some insecurities and always doubted my love for him. We were on and off again alot during the relationship, we were just kids..19-20yrs old. This is part of a poem about him while I was in Korea. We both wrote poetry to eachother. > " I can feel you whereever I go, > I could be on the other side of the world, > look up at the moon and stars > and feel your love wash over me, > weeping because I can't hold you, > knowing there is a part of you inside me, > something that will always be. " > > Shortly after Korea I was pregnant twice with his babies and lost both of them. The second one was the hardest bc the Dr. said it looked like there were to be twins. There were two sacs, both empty, they say they couldn't find anything and I was 8wks pg. Out of my anger and hurt and frustration I broke up with him. It was one of the hardest things I had to go through. The last thing he said to me on the phone was " I love you " and I hung up. He had also started drinking alot and there were other reasons for the break up. > I wrote this poem about a year after the break up and right before the war in Iraq started, I'll share a piece of it here, > " Here I am, I've made it this far, > Yet still I have a long way to go. > Only a year ago I was in love with the man > that took my kindness and turned it into hate. > He still comes in my dreams, > Sometimes in different forms, attacking me, > Yet still I can't fight back, > surrendering to the control > that he once had in my life. " > > He would come in a form of a tiger or panther at times, they were scary dreams. > I found out a year ago that he died. A friend of mine emailed me the article and it appeared the cops found him stabbed in the gut laying on the street gutter. He passed away waiting for surgery at the hospital. I cried after reading that...and I thought why am I crying so hard?? I was so upset that he threw his life away and went on the wrong path of self-destruction. I knew he was better than that if he would have applied himself. > Being a Christian and knowing he wasn't...I refused to believe that he went to Hell. I had two dreams of him after that. One was funny and he made a joke that I did his laundry in battery acid, I woke up laughing histerically! The next one was the good-bye. > I was inprocessing in the military(so I thought) He didn't recognize me, which was a little frustrating. The next thing I remember we're sitting on a bench at the beach at night. He went running into the beach and dancing and laughing and just felt so happy and peaceful. I wanted that so bad, so I leaned in to kiss him and he pulled away. I was crushed that he would do that, but then he pointed his finger and I looked...off into the distance was my current husband sleeping in our bed. This was all telepathy and he reminded me of who I married. I felt horrible at that point that I tried to kiss him. But I woke up in peace knowing that he is happy where he is. It feels so good to know that someone you used to know that was destructive is resting in peace. I feel blessed that he gave me this dream and I told his best friend about it, he was really pleased that I told him too. > > Glad you made it this far if you did. It feels so good to share this with you all. To get it off of my chest and hope to inspire others. This life is only a glimpse of what is yet to come! > God Bless you all, > Laura > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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