An update- my ego is assimilating and yes... the safeties work!

[Guest guest]

I haven't been active in the forums in the past few months because of profound

changes. I saw some postings recently regarding phenomena etc, so I thought I

would give my take on it as well as an update on my progress.

 

I have been K active for about almost a year. I remember in the beginning I

admit I was one to wish for increasing phenomena, especially that of the psychic

nature like described. When I had the entity visits and other paranormal

electrical activity, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the K was with me.

I tried to be passive about it, but I was as a child at Disneyland for the first

time. I was so excited to see this whole new world that I was in danger of

becoming addicted to it.

 

As time progressed I had times where all phenomena ceased. No matter the

practice, I was held back and I was confused. I thought that I wasn't

progressing. That is, until I realized that a lot of the important work happened

when the phenomena was gone.

 

As the past few months have passed, I have gained a new form of growth. A few

months ago my ego would rant and rave, ceaselessly trying to control me with

destructive thought patterns developed over years. Fear was all over the place

and I have to admit that sometimes I would jump at every sound in the dark

during this time. I wondered how in the world I would ever become enlightened,

when my child ego just wouldn't quiet down. Little did I know even the

difference between my true self and that little voice that seems the whole of

you. I didn't even know there was a separation.

 

I was a victim of my own destructive tendencies. Negative thoughts would invade

my days and nights with endless, " What if's " and " I'm so stupid. "

 

I thought I was a hopeless case. But then something profound changed. It seemed

so subtle at first but became so obvious when everyone around me saw a complete

turn around.

 

My ego began healing itself. Integrating with my " higher self " I guess I could

describe it as. The practice of forgiveness towards others in the form of the

safeties TURNED INWARDS. I didn't recognize it at first. I knew I was becoming

more honest, patient, understanding and tolerant of others but then realized one

day that I was being so towards myself as well! My ego felt... different. I

actually can recognize the egoic thought process now and can see it as a

" separate " consciousness, in addition to the others.

 

I don't feel like it is gone from me, nor do I want it to be, just that it is

now a part of me. The real me. It is quiet and accepting of what is transforming

and is filled with love rather than anger and pettiness. It is hard to describe

but it is absolutely amazing. There is not much fear of death, loss of self,

among other natural (fear based) forms of self preservation. I feel ready and

able to surrender as I never have before. I am just glad to know that all parts

of me are on the same page now. Even though my ego still needs a gentle reminder

here and there lol.

 

Now I am not going to say that I am 100% there, nor am I trying to race to the

top of enlightenment or even pretend I am close. All I can say is that when you

feel that the phenomena has ceased, take a look at your thoughts, your

interactions with others, and you will see that the energy is always there.

 

If you give the safeties a chance, you will not be disappointed.

 

Living life in the form of forgiveness, love and tolerance does really help you

transform in a good way. Especially regarding the Kundalini. If you have any

doubts, just give it a while. It really helps to keep you focused during those

dark nights and bliss filled days.

 

Anyways just thought I would post an update and love to all =)

Also glad to hear you are back Chrism!

 

-Tiffany S

[Guest guest]

Tiffany,

 

Thank you for sharing your most intimate feelings reguarding K. I can relate to

this and so it humbles me very much to hear from someone else. I believe we

have these plateaus/rests for a reason, to give our minds and bodies a rest.

They are very hard to go through, for me I've suffered from depression for a

long time, so these quiet days/weeks and sometimes months for me are difficult.

I've said the same things to myself like " I'm an idiot for thinking these things

are real "

 

But we are not, this is real and it's more beautiful than one can imagine! Glad

you found yourself (with assistance) out of your dark night dear!

 

Many Blessings,

 

Laura

[Guest guest]

Hi Tiffany,

 

Its good to read your post. Like you I havent been posting as much, but seem to

have been drawn back to the group again recently.

 

I can really feel the energetic difference in your words. Something that is

emerging for me is the energetic sense I have of peoples writing and i am more

sensitive to the level of consciousness that it is written from.

 

When i think back to your first posts a while back and now this, you are now

coming across as so much ligher, at ease and more liberated

 

I am happy for your progress and healing

 

Love

Bruce

 

 

, " angelikdementia "

<angelikdementia wrote:

>

> I haven't been active in the forums in the past few months because of profound

changes. I saw some postings recently regarding phenomena etc, so I thought I

would give my take on it as well as an update on my progress.

>

> I have been K active for about almost a year. I remember in the beginning I

admit I was one to wish for increasing phenomena, especially that of the psychic

nature like described. When I had the entity visits and other paranormal

electrical activity, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the K was with me.

I tried to be passive about it, but I was as a child at Disneyland for the first

time. I was so excited to see this whole new world that I was in danger of

becoming addicted to it.

>

> As time progressed I had times where all phenomena ceased. No matter the

practice, I was held back and I was confused. I thought that I wasn't

progressing. That is, until I realized that a lot of the important work happened

when the phenomena was gone.

>

> As the past few months have passed, I have gained a new form of growth. A few

months ago my ego would rant and rave, ceaselessly trying to control me with

destructive thought patterns developed over years. Fear was all over the place

and I have to admit that sometimes I would jump at every sound in the dark

during this time. I wondered how in the world I would ever become enlightened,

when my child ego just wouldn't quiet down. Little did I know even the

difference between my true self and that little voice that seems the whole of

you. I didn't even know there was a separation.

>

> I was a victim of my own destructive tendencies. Negative thoughts would

invade my days and nights with endless, " What if's " and " I'm so stupid. "

>

> I thought I was a hopeless case. But then something profound changed. It

seemed so subtle at first but became so obvious when everyone around me saw a

complete turn around.

>

> My ego began healing itself. Integrating with my " higher self " I guess I could

describe it as. The practice of forgiveness towards others in the form of the

safeties TURNED INWARDS. I didn't recognize it at first. I knew I was becoming

more honest, patient, understanding and tolerant of others but then realized one

day that I was being so towards myself as well! My ego felt... different. I

actually can recognize the egoic thought process now and can see it as a

" separate " consciousness, in addition to the others.

>

> I don't feel like it is gone from me, nor do I want it to be, just that it is

now a part of me. The real me. It is quiet and accepting of what is transforming

and is filled with love rather than anger and pettiness. It is hard to describe

but it is absolutely amazing. There is not much fear of death, loss of self,

among other natural (fear based) forms of self preservation. I feel ready and

able to surrender as I never have before. I am just glad to know that all parts

of me are on the same page now. Even though my ego still needs a gentle reminder

here and there lol.

>

> Now I am not going to say that I am 100% there, nor am I trying to race to the

top of enlightenment or even pretend I am close. All I can say is that when you

feel that the phenomena has ceased, take a look at your thoughts, your

interactions with others, and you will see that the energy is always there.

>

> If you give the safeties a chance, you will not be disappointed.

>

> Living life in the form of forgiveness, love and tolerance does really help

you transform in a good way. Especially regarding the Kundalini. If you have any

doubts, just give it a while. It really helps to keep you focused during those

dark nights and bliss filled days.

>

> Anyways just thought I would post an update and love to all =)

> Also glad to hear you are back Chrism!

>

> -Tiffany S

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, that was awesome and inspiring. Sometimes it is easy to forget that things

happen on a more subtle deep level. That is also what guruji's EBs(enlightened

beings -lol) said. They also said, sit back and enjoy the ride. I think they

said that because once you buy your ticket and get on board, there's no turning

back. So, might as well go for soda ...

 

" angelikdementia " <angelikdementia wrote:

 

.....That is, until I realized that a lot of the important work happened when the

phenomena was gone.

> -Tiffany S

>