Guest guest Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 Beloved Teacher: With deep regret I feel I must withdraw my request to be included in the Vernal Equinox Shaktipat. I am feeling very emotional and even unstable the past few weeks; unable to handle my responsibilities, unable to function and most disturbing: unable to understand what is happening, why this instability, since I am experiencing strong surges of k activity and bliss. I am very aware that extreme internal changes are occurring, but they are overpowering. In all the years since 1993 when I became K active I have never experienced anything like this, and I feel unable to handle any part of my life right now. I would have preferred to email you privately, but I know that you have a huge list of emails to go through, and I also feel that since I made a public declaration of intention, I needed to publicly withdraw. My prayer is that this overwhelming experience will improve, and that I will be able to receive Shaktipat the next time it is offered. To my K family, I ask for your prayers for healing and stability . Respect, Honor, Gratitude and Love Diane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Diane, Blessings to you. I am sending prayers for healing and balance. Love, David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 " Blessings to you. I am sending prayers for healing and balance. " Yes, I too hope that you are feeling better and stronger soon, Diane. Love, GCDeb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Sending prayers your way for healing and balance. Do not worry, you will find balance. Trust. Many Blessings to you, Diane. Laura , Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen wrote: > > Beloved Teacher: > > With deep regret I feel I must withdraw my request to be included in the Vernal Equinox Shaktipat. I am feeling very emotional and even unstable the past few weeks; unable to handle my responsibilities, unable to function and most disturbing: unable to understand what is happening, why this instability, since I am experiencing strong surges of k activity and bliss. > > I am very aware that extreme internal changes are occurring, but they are overpowering. In all the years since 1993 when I became K active I have never experienced anything like this, and I feel unable to handle any part of my life right now. > > I would have preferred to email you privately, but I know that you have a huge list of emails to go through, and I also feel that since I made a public declaration of intention, I needed to publicly withdraw. > > My prayer is that this overwhelming experience will improve, and that I will be able to receive Shaktipat the next time it is offered. > > To my K family, I ask for your prayers for healing and stability . > > Respect, Honor, Gratitude and Love > > Diane > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 My love to you blessed Diane. ~Danielle , Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen wrote: > > To my K family, I ask for your prayers for healing and stability . > > Respect, Honor, Gratitude and Love > > Diane > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Light and love sent to you this morning !!! will keep you in my prayers from now on. Light and love Jonas On Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 2:51 PM, Laura <lo1o113 wrote: > > > Sending prayers your way for healing and balance. > > Do not worry, you will find balance. Trust. > Many Blessings to you, Diane. > > Laura > > > --- In <%40ya\ hoogroups.com>, > Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen wrote: > > > > Beloved Teacher: > > > > With deep regret I feel I must withdraw my request to be included in the > Vernal Equinox Shaktipat. I am feeling very emotional and even unstable the > past few weeks; unable to handle my responsibilities, unable to function and > most disturbing: unable to understand what is happening, why this > instability, since I am experiencing strong surges of k activity and bliss. > > > > I am very aware that extreme internal changes are occurring, but they > are overpowering. In all the years since 1993 when I became K active I have > never experienced anything like this, and I feel unable to handle any part > of my life right now. > > > > I would have preferred to email you privately, but I know that you have a > huge list of emails to go through, and I also feel that since I made a > public declaration of intention, I needed to publicly withdraw. > > > > My prayer is that this overwhelming experience will improve, and that I > will be able to receive Shaktipat the next time it is offered. > > > > To my K family, I ask for your prayers for healing and stability . > > > > Respect, Honor, Gratitude and Love > > > > Diane > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Dearest Diane: I will send some prayers your way that you can settle into a balance and feel yourself again. The journey often will be intense and it varies so this sounds to me like a good thing. I know it does not feel that way yet - you have been with K long enough to know there are always surprises - even chrism feels the changes after all the time he has been with K. There is no end to the growing and no end to the gifting. So know that you are fine and being taken care of always - Shakti does not leave her chosen alone and unattended. NO Worries!!! Thinking of you e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Hi Diane, My heart goes out to you. I understand completely what you are feeling for I have felt the same. Sometimes we take 2 steps forward and need time for our i to catch up and integrate. It seems to be the same for me ... can feel the most beautiful love bliss incredible energy going through the body but then as you explained there is that side to integrate into daily life which is not easy. Our emotions become so amplified and sometimes not even knowing what it is or why we are feeling this way. So do not feel you are alone in these feelings - must be the ego freaking out i guess. Feels though like I'm freaking out - ha - To help balance I will tell you what I do - it helps and yet still it comes up. If I am alone of course its easier and not in public. I can go lay down for a few minutes and relax into the meditation and feel peaceful saying i surrender - and completely trust - blah blah. The real difficulty though lies in the day to day where you cannot do this and even I have had the simplest task to do seem impossible. So this is what I have been doing. I go into the bathroom if I'm in public anywhere for privacy. You feel like crying like you are falling apart. With all your strength - remind yourself ... this is just a story - a story of our ego our personality - the emotions are so difficult not to get lost in but this is when I first do my self - talk. This is not such a gentle self talk because if you are in that panic that ego that is freaking out - feeling like crying hysterically - you have to really shout it out to yourself - THIS FEELINGS ARE JUST A STORY!!! THEY ARE AN ILLUSION - YES THEY ARE REAL - BUT REALLY THEY ARE ILLUSION - IT IS NOT WHO YOU REALLY ARE - IT IS THE ONLY THING LEFT THAT STANDS IN YOUR WAY OF TRANSCENDING THESE - FOREVER - I tell myself right now here is my chance to not allow these emotions to take me under - it is our story - something from inside being amplified - look at it - acknowledge it (thats funny cuz that the easiest part we can't seem to get away from it - can we?) But then - It is just a story - no more or less than any one elses - from our higher self its as if we are actors on a stage, pretending to be this person pretending that we are limited pretending that we are a man a woman a worker a this and a that - its real to us here but it is a play a play to dance to a play to dance with not for it to take us under but for us to be free in while we are still here - so look in the face of the biggest storm in the sea - this storm you are or will feel - feeling as if we have no raft as if we are drowning - look at it and say it is nothing - it cannot hurt you - tell it it has no power over you - it is NOT real - it is exactly the only thing keeping us from the complete tranquility and peace of our being -Look at it let the tears fall as they will but tell yourself this is NOT who you are - you do not have to identify with these feelings - these are all illusions - It is NOT you - yes it feels like you - it is your emotions being so blown out of proportion- why? the energy i suppose must do so - there is no escaping this then - our ability in the past to push them down and not face them - to not dissolve them each time this panic comes over - it is our chance to dissolve them - i fail more times than i succeed - but each time a little strength grows - each time i am learning how to not identify with that which feels like me but is not tell yourself to be steady - STEADY for it matters not what is thrown at you - you are an infinite being - you are unlimited - you have and are the strength and prescence of ALL THAT IS - it is trying to entice you - like a drug to a drug addict a drink to an alcoholic - making you lose yourself in it - but you are NOT it -so easy to lose ourselves in this storm - but it is the ONLY thing standing in your way of enlightenment - of our chance to transcend such problems worries and suffering - you have the energy now Diane this is a great gift we know - but there comes a point when things get tough and challenges have to be faced - and honestly i don't know who made up these rules but let us become GOD and change them! (haha) It is this storm we all must face - It is this storm where we will in some lifetime decide to look at it and be strong without losing ourselves in it- to see it for what it is - IT IS NOT YOU - its so enticing to fall into our stories - our stories of hurts - heartache - pain - loss - victimization - blah blah blah - maybe we are feeling everyones stories - all the suffering - somehow slowly we stop somehow we remember to TRUST - sometimes when it is SO strong I say ok this time just this time I'm not going to identify with it but next time when it comes i'll let myself be lost again - its like wagering with my ego making a deal with the devil (my ego) so this time i don't identify with it but don't worry ego next time i'll lose myself - haha - its just to learn HOW to do it while in it - a little taste here and there - a little taste of that sweet strength that you really are - a taste to stand in the storm and laugh at it - laugh that it thinks it has power over you - each taste of this - this being able to Look at the emotions without identifying and losing yourself in them - each taste brings you stronger and stronger - soon you will be laughing - let us laugh together Diane in this storm - Its the hardest thing we will ever do - each time you can look at it - tell yourself it is just a story - could be anyones story - the emotions feel so strong as if it is the entire planets story - So Look at it - feel the strength of the I AM THAT I AM inside you - FEEL The TRUST for GOD - COMPLETE TRUST AND SURRENDER - but the KEY is NOT TO IDENTIFY WITH THESE EMOTIONS - They will suck you in and the panic drowns you - I know this all too well - doesnt mean I still don't have it - Just means that each time it comes over me and I am strong enough to see it AS JUST SOME STORY - IT DOESNT MATTER - TO STAY STEADY IN THIS - NOT IDENTIFYING WITH IT it takes some time to come out of that panic - it takes some self talk - it takes some stength and complete love for yourself - what you are doing Diane is the ultimate test or lesson or whatever you want to call it - the chance to transcend SUFFERING - some say if you believe in reincarnation - the last time to lose yourself in a world - the last time to pretend that you do not know who you really are - the end to your suffering - a merging with GOd - a complete peace awaits us - peace in any situation - the world could be crumbling at our feet but we will have the strength to smile in this crumbling - and with this to help others- its all such a dream - let us step out of this dream - it seems so stupid writing this - like why do I feel this way but when it hits it hits - its such a storm - and mostly i drown in this storm - and its embarrassing to admit - as I write this though i feel like crying cuz it has been hard - see...there i go again identifying with poor me - so do not feel bad at yourself for anything Diane - I do know what you speak of - If you ever need to talk in that storm let me know - The other thing - please do this - close your mouth - breathe out your nostrils - do you notice one side stronger than the other? My left side is strong - the right side is weak - I am trying to balance this by focusing on the right side - perhaps can speak about this - but I would be interested being that I have felt the same feelings as you - if you notice this - The other thing I suggest is during the day anytime now Diane that you can - you are driving - you are standing in line - whenever - all the time (: say to yourself " I am that I am " or just " I AM " let this feeling of strength cultivate inside you - water it and take care of it - as often as you can - because when that panic hits again (i call mine panic ha) I begin to repeat this helps me to focus on the I AM - which is strength and God - and not on the ego of emotions which is not who we really are - (use whatever feels good/god for you - whatever gives you that feeling of the strength INSIDE yourself - and btw i am just starting this myself - telling myself its a story - the i am - really getting firm with myself not to get lost in it - just so you know we may fail many many times - but it only takes once to feel and experience that we can LOOK at this and not identify with it - each little triumph - and soon it will not have any power over us - so I understand not doing the shaktipat - hope something i said helps - the balanced breathing is really important i think - it doesnt matter how many times we fail Diane - if it takes me another year to get this - its worth it - don't feel alone in this - and me... seems the full moon kicks my butt pretty bad - really got lost in the storm the last two full moons - we shall see how I do the next one - I want to stand in that storm and laugh (not like a crazy person - but i do like that too ) (: Love to you Diane - If you ever need to talk you can send me an email ... and if i get lost in my next storm - someone laugh with me ...(aarni i said WITH me not AT me) (; Love to you all - Lots of love to you Diane - I'll fly around your head next time holding a vacumn sucking out all those emotions - you'll be so annoyed at me buzzing around your head making all sorts of noise that you'll laugh in the face of those emotions cuz you'll be busy swatting at me - bzzzzzzzzzzz who wants to buzz around my head the next full moon? anyone? (; Mia D (aka Deb) > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 dear Diane May you be held near and dear in love, peace, and healing. Something i have wondered about Diane is the effects of the large earthquakes in relation to each of our Kundalini and Spiritual transformative work. Through the years have come to accept with K Ma there is a deep connection with the Earth energies and it seems most everyone i know has been going through intense adjustments along with Mother Earth. May this soon pass with beauty and ascension to a lovely space of love, peace and light. In love, peace and prayer from this heart to you sister. sparrow , Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen wrote: > > Beloved Teacher: > > With deep regret I feel I must withdraw my request to be included in the Vernal Equinox Shaktipat. I am feeling very emotional and even unstable the past few weeks; unable to handle my responsibilities, unable to function and most disturbing: unable to understand what is happening, why this instability, since I am experiencing strong surges of k activity and bliss. > > I am very aware that extreme internal changes are occurring, but they are overpowering. In all the years since 1993 when I became K active I have never experienced anything like this, and I feel unable to handle any part of my life right now. > > I would have preferred to email you privately, but I know that you have a huge list of emails to go through, and I also feel that since I made a public declaration of intention, I needed to publicly withdraw. > > My prayer is that this overwhelming experience will improve, and that I will be able to receive Shaktipat the next time it is offered. > > To my K family, I ask for your prayers for healing and stability . > > Respect, Honor, Gratitude and Love > > Diane > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Reminds me of this song. " Stand in the rain " She won't make a sound alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands, she'll fall down. She wants to be found, the only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down. " Chorus " So Stand in the rain, stand your ground, stand up when it's all falling down.... by Superchick I listen to this song ALOT! Prayers for you Diane, thinking of you lots! Laura , " flowerpowers7777 " <flowerpowers7777 wrote: > > > > Hi Diane, > > My heart goes out to you. I understand completely what you are feeling for I have felt the same. Sometimes we take 2 steps forward and need time for our i to catch up and integrate. It seems to be the same for me ... can feel the most beautiful love bliss incredible energy going through the body but then as you explained there is that side to integrate into daily life which is not easy. Our emotions become so amplified and sometimes not even knowing what it is or why we are feeling this way. So do not feel you are alone in these feelings - must be the ego freaking out i guess. Feels though like I'm freaking out - ha - > > To help balance I will tell you what I do - it helps and yet still it comes up. If I am alone of course its easier and not in public. I can go lay down for a few minutes and relax into the meditation and feel peaceful saying i surrender - and completely trust - blah blah. > > The real difficulty though lies in the day to day where you cannot do this and even I have had the simplest task to do seem impossible. So this is what I have been doing. I go into the bathroom if I'm in public anywhere for privacy. You feel like crying like you are falling apart. With all your strength - remind yourself ... this is just a story - a story of our ego our personality - the emotions are so difficult not to get lost in but this is when I first do my self - talk. This is not such a gentle self talk because if you are in that panic that ego that is freaking out - feeling like crying hysterically - you have to really shout it out to yourself - THIS FEELINGS ARE JUST A STORY!!! THEY ARE AN ILLUSION - YES THEY ARE REAL - BUT REALLY THEY ARE ILLUSION - IT IS NOT WHO YOU REALLY ARE - IT IS THE ONLY THING LEFT THAT STANDS IN YOUR WAY OF TRANSCENDING THESE - FOREVER - > > I tell myself right now here is my chance to not allow these emotions to take me under - > it is our story - something from inside being amplified - look at it - acknowledge it (thats funny cuz that the easiest part we can't seem to get away from it - can we?) > > But then - It is just a story - no more or less than any one elses - from our higher self its as if we are actors on a stage, pretending to be this person pretending that we are limited pretending that we are a man a woman a worker a this and a that - its real to us here but it is a play a play to dance to a play to dance with not for it to take us under but for us to be free in while we are still here - > > so look in the face of the biggest storm in the sea - this storm you are or will feel - feeling as if we have no raft as if we are drowning - look at it and say it is nothing - it cannot hurt you - tell it it has no power over you - it is NOT real - it is exactly the only thing keeping us from the complete tranquility and peace of our being -Look at it let the tears fall as they will but tell yourself this is NOT who you are - you do not have to identify with these feelings - these are all illusions - > > It is NOT you - yes it feels like you - it is your emotions being so blown out of proportion- > why? the energy i suppose must do so - there is no escaping this then - our ability in the past to push them down and not face them - to not dissolve them > each time this panic comes over - it is our chance to dissolve them - i fail more times than i succeed - but each time a little strength grows - each time i am learning how to not identify with that which feels like me but is not > > tell yourself to be steady - STEADY for it matters not what is thrown at you - you are an infinite being - you are unlimited - you have and are the strength and prescence of ALL THAT IS - > > it is trying to entice you - like a drug to a drug addict a drink to an alcoholic - making you lose yourself in it - but you are NOT it -so easy to lose ourselves in this storm - but it is the ONLY thing > standing in your way of enlightenment - of our chance to transcend such problems worries and suffering - you have the energy now Diane this is a great gift we know - but there comes a point when things get tough and challenges have to be faced - and honestly i don't know who made up these rules but let us become GOD and change them! (haha) > > It is this storm we all must face - It is this storm where we will in some lifetime decide to look at it and be strong without losing ourselves in it- to see it for what it is - IT IS NOT YOU - its so enticing to fall into our stories - our stories of hurts - heartache - pain - loss - victimization - blah blah blah - maybe we are feeling everyones stories - all the suffering - somehow slowly we stop > > somehow we remember to TRUST - > > sometimes when it is SO strong I say ok this time just this time I'm not going to identify with it but next time when it comes i'll let myself be lost again - its like wagering with my ego making a deal with the devil (my ego) so this time i don't identify with it but don't worry ego next time i'll lose myself - haha - > > its just to learn HOW to do it while in it - a little taste here and there - a little taste of that sweet strength that you really are - a taste to stand in the storm and laugh at it - laugh that it thinks it has power over you - > > each taste of this - this being able to Look at the emotions without identifying and losing yourself in them - each taste brings you stronger and stronger - soon you will be laughing - let us laugh together Diane in this storm - > > Its the hardest thing we will ever do - each time you can look at it - tell yourself it is just a story - could be anyones story - the emotions feel so strong as if it is the entire planets story - > > So Look at it - feel the strength of the I AM THAT I AM inside you - FEEL The TRUST for GOD - COMPLETE TRUST AND SURRENDER - > > but the KEY is NOT TO IDENTIFY WITH THESE EMOTIONS - They will suck you in and the panic drowns you - I know this all too well - > > doesnt mean I still don't have it - Just means that each time it comes over me and I am strong enough to see it AS JUST SOME STORY - IT DOESNT MATTER - TO STAY STEADY IN THIS - NOT IDENTIFYING WITH IT > > it takes some time to come out of that panic - it takes some self talk - it takes some stength and complete love for yourself - what you are doing Diane is the ultimate test or lesson or whatever you want to call it - the chance to transcend SUFFERING - > > some say if you believe in reincarnation - the last time to lose yourself in a world - the last time to pretend that you do not know who you really are - the end to your suffering - > a merging with GOd - > > a complete peace awaits us - peace in any situation - the world could be crumbling at our feet but we will have the strength to smile in this crumbling - and with this to help others- > its all such a dream - let us step out of this dream - > > > > it seems so stupid writing this - like why do I feel this way but when it hits it hits - its such a storm - and mostly i drown in this storm - and its embarrassing to admit - as I write this though i feel like crying cuz it has been hard - see...there i go again identifying with poor me - > > so do not feel bad at yourself for anything Diane - I do know what you speak of - If you ever need to talk in that storm let me know - > > The other thing - please do this - close your mouth - breathe out your nostrils - do you notice one side stronger than the other? > > My left side is strong - the right side is weak - I am trying to balance this by focusing on the right side - perhaps can speak about this - but I would be interested being that I have felt the same feelings as you - if you notice this - > > > The other thing I suggest is during the day anytime now Diane that you can - you are driving - you are standing in line - whenever - all the time (: say to yourself " I am that I am " or just " I AM " > > let this feeling of strength cultivate inside you - water it and take care of it - as often as you can - because when that panic hits again (i call mine panic ha) > I begin to repeat this > > helps me to focus on the I AM - which is strength and God - and not on the ego of emotions which is not who we really are - (use whatever feels good/god for you - whatever gives you that feeling of the strength INSIDE yourself - > > and btw i am just starting this myself - telling myself its a story - the i am - really getting firm with myself not to get lost in it - > > just so you know we may fail many many times - but it only takes once to feel and experience that we can LOOK at this and not identify with it - > > each little triumph - and soon it will not have any power over us - > > so I understand not doing the shaktipat - hope something i said helps - the balanced breathing is really important i think - > > it doesnt matter how many times we fail Diane - if it takes me another year to get this - its worth it - don't feel alone in this - and me... seems the full moon kicks my butt pretty bad - really got lost in the storm the last two full moons - > > we shall see how I do the next one - I want to stand in that storm and laugh (not like a crazy person - but i do like that too ) (: > > Love to you Diane - If you ever need to talk you can send me an email ... and if i get lost in my next storm - someone laugh with me ...(aarni i said WITH me not AT me) (; > > Love to you all - Lots of love to you Diane - I'll fly around your head next time holding a vacumn sucking out all those emotions - you'll be so annoyed at me buzzing around your head making all sorts of noise that you'll laugh in the face of those emotions cuz you'll be busy swatting at me - bzzzzzzzzzzz > who wants to buzz around my head the next full moon? anyone? (; > > > Mia D (aka Deb) > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Thanks, Deb, I really needed that! Shaz --- flowerpowers7777 wrote: To help balance I will tell you what I do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Dear Diane, Healing energy, sent to you. Hoping for your balance, health and well being. Love & Light, Pamela , " " . wrote: > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Prayer sent for your healing and balance, Diane. Love & blessings, Linda , Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen wrote: > > Beloved Teacher: > > With deep regret I feel I must withdraw my request to be included in the Vernal Equinox Shaktipat. I am feeling very emotional and even unstable the past few weeks; unable to handle my responsibilities, unable to function and most disturbing: unable to understand what is happening, why this instability, since I am experiencing strong surges of k activity and bliss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Dearest Mia/Deb You make it sound so easy and always with a touch of humor - you are a trip - a trip of Shakti - she sent you to us so we can see how ridiculous at times we are- we put ourselves thru so much and for what?? Why not surrender and let it be and it will all be as it should be - yes??? Thank you for your inspiration and free thinking rambling of thoughts - it allows for a flowing of innerness that I can relate with. Things when succinct often do not give the process - you show the process of your thinking - although such a mind as yours well - you tinkle me funny bones - and the length of your writings - I do hope you keep all of what you share - you could write a book - lets see - called???? The ramblings of a Kundalini humorous in motion??? Or how a Kundalite survives the process or give me K with a cherry on top??? I love you Deb/Mia ... e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Dearest Diane, Sending you prayers for healing and stability. Glad that you are listening to your inner guidance. Love and blessings, Jan , Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen wrote: > > Beloved Teacher: > > With deep regret I feel I must withdraw my request to be included in the Vernal Equinox Shaktipat. I am feeling very emotional and even unstable the past few weeks; unable to handle my responsibilities, unable to function and most disturbing: unable to understand what is happening, why this instability, since I am experiencing strong surges of k activity and bliss. > > I am very aware that extreme internal changes are occurring, but they are overpowering. In all the years since 1993 when I became K active I have never experienced anything like this, and I feel unable to handle any part of my life right now. > > I would have preferred to email you privately, but I know that you have a huge list of emails to go through, and I also feel that since I made a public declaration of intention, I needed to publicly withdraw. > > My prayer is that this overwhelming experience will improve, and that I will be able to receive Shaktipat the next time it is offered. > > To my K family, I ask for your prayers for healing and stability . > > Respect, Honor, Gratitude and Love > > Diane > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Prayers & Healing being sent..........s ________________________________ danceswithcats999 <crazycats711 Wed, 10 March, 2010 3:53:38 AM Re: Shaktipat Withdrawal  Prayer sent for your healing and balance, Diane. Love & blessings, Linda Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen@ ...> wrote: > > Beloved Teacher: > > With deep regret I feel I must withdraw my request to be included in the Vernal Equinox Shaktipat. I am feeling very emotional and even unstable the past few weeks; unable to handle my responsibilities, unable to function and most disturbing: unable to understand what is happening, why this instability, since I am experiencing strong surges of k activity and bliss. Your Mail works best with the New Optimized IE8. Get it NOW! http://downloads./in/internetexplorer/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 Hi - it's me again...(; Just want to add to what I said Diane that you always know whats best for you and taking time for the energy to integrate the energy you already have makes great sense. always says fast is not always best. Another thing to try is carrying a picture of someone with you so when those emotions hit you can look into their eyes. I shall try this next full moon! (; Someone that gives you strength and that you love unconditionally. Perhaps a parent a picture of yourself when you felt strong a picture of whoever represents divinity to you - Buddha - Jesus - Shakti - Shiva - a picture of Chrism a picture of a best friend. Then if you try a little self - talk look into their eyes. Last month finally I was able to not be hard on myself for the feelings that came up. That was big for me. I do not usually or ever (: get things the first time - I usually fail many times before I learn something. So I'm laughing at your words - perhaps I will call you on the full moon ... buhwah! The other thing I did was when I went into the bathroom when the feelings came a calling part of my self talk was saying Deb is someone stabbing you with a knife? No... Deb nothing bad is happening to you in this moment - buck up girl - feelings of something in the past or perceived future is all your illusion. This moment is just you with yourself -Not that this stops me from my storm but it helps to start clear the waves from smacking me in the face. It's funny how Shakti will bring up all those emotions you may have lived at some time in your past and intensify them - or your fears - or your insecurities... feelings of loss or heartache or whatever - aloneness or failure - You know whats strange - during these moments I tell myself the emotions coming up I never had as hard a time with while they were happening and here I am feeling these things so intense now. So this is part of the self-talk of staying in the moment - or helping me out of the moment of perceived suffering. In actuality noone is hurting me ever in those moments! Something will happen that reminds me of a feeling - a loss - a fear - a worry - and bam! there I am again in my story of suffering I remind myself of all the what I call illusion tests Shakti brought me. The stuff that comes up is always our stuff - seems I have to face all my illusions and insecurities until I can feel them and KNOW that they are not real - She will make them real of course by bringing you experiences in your now until you can completely realize this is your lack of trust in the divine - to trust no matter what can be tricky - yet the truth is each challenge has always been about my insecurities - past experiences that left a strong emotional charge - she will bring those up through other people or things (at least for me) It never changes until I can completely KNOW that divinity has my back - to trust this - until I can look at whatever fear or insecurity and FEEL finally it has no power over me - yes I can feel that insecurity but I KNOW i will be okay - complete trust - Last full moon I finally did not feel bad at myself for the feelings that came. Perhaps this one if something comes up I can look at it and stand in the storm and know its just a story = an illusion - to grab that opportunity to watch the story without identifying myself with it - Of course there is always the option of running into a beautiful forest and hiding out there until the full moon passes.. but there is no hiding from yourself...I hate that rule! ha see that ... more resistance ... there is no resisting anything anymore - Are you trying to resist this post - me too and I'm the one writing it ... I'm still feeling lots of bliss at night. I can't lie - I like it ... I like it a lot. I could easily die the happiest person in the world in that - So while this all may sound hard and trying there is that ecstasy that when I am in it .. I don't care about anything else - I don't care if a sword would pierce my heart - I don't care if the roof falls on me - I just throw myself into it - the feelings of energy at the beginning were so scary and now there is nothing in my life that I have ever experienced that could come close to this. It shoots up and through me - I cannot help but throw myself into it - so completely - so easy it is to surrender to it all - to bathe in it - god it is purely the most beautiful feeling the most intoxicating the most love i have ever felt inside me coming out of me for me for all - it is so beautiful that i cannot wait until the end of my life when i can do nothing else but feel this always - it makes me want to run to all the nursing homes and shout to them to throw themselves in it - to die in this bliss - to see thousands upon thousands of elderly just blissing out as they leave this world - what a beautiful sight that would be - no more would anyone concern themselves with death -can you imagine what funerals would like then -- watching video clips of their loved ones blissing the heck out - who could feel bad that they died? Its strange the things that run through my mind ... isn't it? (: So when its hard I know i am not having fun (: - (put some nasty words in here and call me on the full moon) - it would be nice if I was not such a slow learner... you think? ... I am laughing at you about that book... See her Breathe See her Free See her OUCH run right into that tree I love you too - you are our pillar of strength - you give your life for all of us for all of this and I'm so grateful for you and all you do - watch out I'm gonna stick a picture of you in my pocket next month ... I'll look at it and hear you telling me to stop running into trees! Lots of love filled chi balls to all of you - its night now - Did I mention how much I love the night ? (:(: Mia D (aka other Deb) , " " . wrote a book - lets see - called???? > > The ramblings of a Kundalini humorous in motion??? Or how a Kundalite survives the process or give me K with a cherry on top??? > > I love you Deb/Mia ... > e > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2010 Report Share Posted March 10, 2010 it makes me want to run to all the nursing homes and shout to them to throw themselves in it - to die in this bliss - to see thousands upon thousands of elderly just blissing out as they leave this world - what a beautiful sight that would be - no more would anyone concern themselves with death -can you imagine what funerals would like then -- watching video clips of their loved ones blissing the heck out - who could feel bad that they died? Mia D (aka other Deb) That is an amazing feeling isn't it!! I often day dream of things similar to this as well! Thanks for posting this as a reminder for myself! Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2010 Report Share Posted March 10, 2010 Please stay in the Shaktipat and from there can you receive help for your situation. - blessings Diane. - chrism , Diane Baugh <cdgbdronningen wrote: > > Beloved Teacher: > > With deep regret I feel I must withdraw my request to be included in the Vernal Equinox Shaktipat. I am feeling very emotional and even unstable the past few weeks; unable to handle my responsibilities, unable to function and most disturbing: unable to understand what is happening, why this instability, since I am experiencing strong surges of k activity and bliss. > > I am very aware that extreme internal changes are occurring, but they are overpowering. In all the years since 1993 when I became K active I have never experienced anything like this, and I feel unable to handle any part of my life right now. > > I would have preferred to email you privately, but I know that you have a huge list of emails to go through, and I also feel that since I made a public declaration of intention, I needed to publicly withdraw. > > My prayer is that this overwhelming experience will improve, and that I will be able to receive Shaktipat the next time it is offered. > > To my K family, I ask for your prayers for healing and stability . > > Respect, Honor, Gratitude and Love > > Diane > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2010 Report Share Posted March 10, 2010 Hi Diane ! I have to agree with to stay in the shaktipat but the decision is only yours to make. Let go of FEAR because you will be just fine. I've been there myself many times and I do know exactly what you are experiencing right now. That too will pass once your body has completed its clearing blockages process. I know this is also confusing to you because your energy is very high at this time and it can make you feel delusional and also blissful at the same time. Just allow yourself to be in the moment right now, not yesterday or tomorrow but this very second, Just Be. My humble blessings to you. Denny , " " <> wrote: > > Please stay in the Shaktipat and from there can you receive help for your situation. - blessings Diane. - chrism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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