Guest guest Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 From my point of view Andrew, I would say look to the safeties. For quite some time some of the same issues and situations may come up in your mind over and over for a reason. Perhaps it is something to forgive others and yourself for. Perhaps there is a teaching or a lesson in the memory that you haven't gotten yet. Shakti may be doing you a huge favour by bringing these issues up. I would say look in to it. As a good friend of mine would say, I invite you to be okay with where you are. It is absolutely okay. It is where you are. Your choices and actions and relationships and past lives and myriad other things have all brought you to THIS place. And it is good. It is right. How could it not be? It is where you are. So be okay with it, and then go from here. And here we are on this group with common purpose to awaken the kundalini safely. With love, joy, grace, gratitude, service to others and other wonderful qualities. So again, I would invite you to further join us by digging into those safeties. Apply them in every way that you can through your day. And come here and ask questions. There are many very experienced and wise souls here who are willing to serve and help. What a blessing! Just my thoughts Andrew. be well! bradly > I guess that is why the kundalini keeps throwing up the same painful and heart-breaking memories again and again. I've went through all of this many-many times, it just keep looping around, going over and over the same stuff. > > Perhaps, I need to accept that part of me, although I'm not sure what part that is. All I know is, I can't ascertain anything, because I don't know whats going on for me, or what kundalini is doing for me. > > All I know is, that being rejected feels bad, and so does being judged, because it just feels like me doing it, and I move to try and fix that somehow, but I don't know how ... i just feel very pained that i still feel so unloved and unwanted, after all this time. > > I have been exploring me for quite some time, and i just don't get it! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 Thank you Bradly. I very much appreciate everyone's advice here and support. It makes me really feel at home here. Confusion perhaps is mostly where I am at. I don't feel any kind of resentment or in need of forgiveness, even if I knew what that means, it doesn't feel like that. I am really glad I joined here however. I hope you can forgive me if I seem crazy at times. I assure you, in the past my kundalini has some very .. strange properties for me and those around me... it feels like it affects those around me, and I have experienced this to a greater degree on and off.. although i dont want to scare people here... I see a man with black hair, maybe curly, there is a town behind him, it feels like an old town, and it feels open, and there is a door and there is a path from outside it, but this is not where he is, but he finds himself there. The man is outside here, close, but far away, there are trees around, he is absorbed in his work, feels very earthy work, like to do with his hands. The hands are turned inwards like towards himself, and he's looking down towards the ground, like his work has to do with the ground or something to do with that, and there is something he is working with that is all around.. And his feet sometimes feel on the ground, but not always, but the lower half feels really hot and the top half is cooler.. but his feet needs more on the ground. There is another man, beside some trees now, like hes doing something holding something, still looking downwards towards the earth, but he feels like something is either completed.. or in the process of beginning.. like he is contemplating whether to do something or not to do something.. or contemplating something that is done.. i can't feel it.. he's still thinking. he feels cool all over, well grounded to life and " airy " (like intellectually).. kind of feeling, like his head is in the clouds.. but towards the ground.. like he's contemplating both at the same time.. but can't make up his mind.. he feels .. indecisive.. if there work is to be done or .. confident .. like he's looking at his work and estimating and observing .. perhaps he's contemplating more needs to be done.. he feels lethargic.. but the kind after you had a good run.. not the kind when you walk up half asleep in the morning.. kind of.. There is another man, his feet are cool. I'm not sure if it feels like his feet are disconnected from the ground, it feels like it is, like his feet are on the ground, but there is nothing going or perhaps it means he is well connected to the ground.. not sure.. -- but the rest of his whole body is blazing red hot, and he has a red hat blazing red hot, and a red coat, and a red bottoms.. it's like he's burning up. and there is something about balancing.. and he's giving something to people on their knees on the ground.. like they want something from him ... and he's juggling people and judging and what to give to each.. like he only has so much to give.. like his pockets are full too though .. and the instrument he is using it is like some kind of estimation or something.. like how much to give everyone.. but he feels ..the people on the ground are looking up towards him, and he is looking down towards them.. it feels like everyone should be standing with him.. standing on their own feet.. like embracing each other.. and sharing.. rather than on the ground begging.. not sure what it means.. lol.. im crazy Love you and thank you for all your support and energy too Bradly, Kindly, Andrew. ________________________________ curball2002 <curball2002 Mon, 29 March, 2010 7:22:49 Re: Pollyannaism (andrew) From my point of view Andrew, I would say look to the safeties. For quite some time some of the same issues and situations may come up in your mind over and over for a reason. Perhaps it is something to forgive others and yourself for. Perhaps there is a teaching or a lesson in the memory that you haven't gotten yet. Shakti may be doing you a huge favour by bringing these issues up. I would say look in to it. As a good friend of mine would say, I invite you to be okay with where you are. It is absolutely okay. It is where you are. Your choices and actions and relationships and past lives and myriad other things have all brought you to THIS place. And it is good. It is right. How could it not be? It is where you are. So be okay with it, and then go from here. And here we are on this group with common purpose to awaken the kundalini safely. With love, joy, grace, gratitude, service to others and other wonderful qualities. So again, I would invite you to further join us by digging into those safeties. Apply them in every way that you can through your day. And come here and ask questions. There are many very experienced and wise souls here who are willing to serve and help. What a blessing! Just my thoughts Andrew. be well! bradly > I guess that is why the kundalini keeps throwing up the same painful and heart-breaking memories again and again. I've went through all of this many-many times, it just keep looping around, going over and over the same stuff. > > Perhaps, I need to accept that part of me, although I'm not sure what part that is. All I know is, I can't ascertain anything, because I don't know whats going on for me, or what kundalini is doing for me. > > All I know is, that being rejected feels bad, and so does being judged, because it just feels like me doing it, and I move to try and fix that somehow, but I don't know how ... i just feel very pained that i still feel so unloved and unwanted, after all this time. > > I have been exploring me for quite some time, and i just don't get it! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 And there is a man with four gifts.. the gifts are of the hands.. and of the water.. the hand comes from nowhere.. it is offering or something.. being offered. he sits on the ground, his legs crossed, his arms crossed, he feels very defensive and very dismissive ... his eyes are closed.. he is either rejecting or " can't see clearly " .. he feels in contemplation or meditating.. like he is still in slumber.. it feels like it's there.. but he is sleeping.. and the ground around him is green.. but the hand is one of the divine like it appears " out of nowhere and from nowhere " as an offering.. or an invitation to drink from the water.. or at least that's my feeling... but there is a mood of patience and surrender.. still kind of looking.. and investigating.. ________________________________ Andrew C <aindriu Mon, 29 March, 2010 12:08:16 Re: Re: Pollyannaism (andrew) Thank you Bradly. I very much appreciate everyone's advice here and support. It makes me really feel at home here. Confusion perhaps is mostly where I am at. I don't feel any kind of resentment or in need of forgiveness, even if I knew what that means, it doesn't feel like that. I am really glad I joined here however. I hope you can forgive me if I seem crazy at times. I assure you, in the past my kundalini has some very .. strange properties for me and those around me... it feels like it affects those around me, and I have experienced this to a greater degree on and off.. although i dont want to scare people here... I see a man with black hair, maybe curly, there is a town behind him, it feels like an old town, and it feels open, and there is a door and there is a path from outside it, but this is not where he is, but he finds himself there. The man is outside here, close, but far away, there are trees around, he is absorbed in his work, feels very earthy work, like to do with his hands. The hands are turned inwards like towards himself, and he's looking down towards the ground, like his work has to do with the ground or something to do with that, and there is something he is working with that is all around.. And his feet sometimes feel on the ground, but not always, but the lower half feels really hot and the top half is cooler.. but his feet needs more on the ground. There is another man, beside some trees now, like hes doing something holding something, still looking downwards towards the earth, but he feels like something is either completed.. or in the process of beginning.. like he is contemplating whether to do something or not to do something.. or contemplating something that is done.. i can't feel it.. he's still thinking. he feels cool all over, well grounded to life and " airy " (like intellectually).. kind of feeling, like his head is in the clouds.. but towards the ground.. like he's contemplating both at the same time.. but can't make up his mind.. he feels .. indecisive.. if there work is to be done or .. confident .. like he's looking at his work and estimating and observing .. perhaps he's contemplating more needs to be done.. he feels lethargic.. but the kind after you had a good run.. not the kind when you walk up half asleep in the morning.. kind of.. There is another man, his feet are cool. I'm not sure if it feels like his feet are disconnected from the ground, it feels like it is, like his feet are on the ground, but there is nothing going or perhaps it means he is well connected to the ground.. not sure.. -- but the rest of his whole body is blazing red hot, and he has a red hat blazing red hot, and a red coat, and a red bottoms.. it's like he's burning up. and there is something about balancing.. and he's giving something to people on their knees on the ground.. like they want something from him ... and he's juggling people and judging and what to give to each.. like he only has so much to give.. like his pockets are full too though .. and the instrument he is using it is like some kind of estimation or something.. like how much to give everyone.. but he feels ..the people on the ground are looking up towards him, and he is looking down towards them.. it feels like everyone should be standing with him.. standing on their own feet.. like embracing each other.. and sharing.. rather than on the ground begging.. not sure what it means.. lol.. im crazy Love you and thank you for all your support and energy too Bradly, Kindly, Andrew. ________________________________ curball2002 <curball2002 Mon, 29 March, 2010 7:22:49 Re: Pollyannaism (andrew) From my point of view Andrew, I would say look to the safeties. For quite some time some of the same issues and situations may come up in your mind over and over for a reason. Perhaps it is something to forgive others and yourself for. Perhaps there is a teaching or a lesson in the memory that you haven't gotten yet. Shakti may be doing you a huge favour by bringing these issues up. I would say look in to it. As a good friend of mine would say, I invite you to be okay with where you are. It is absolutely okay. It is where you are. Your choices and actions and relationships and past lives and myriad other things have all brought you to THIS place. And it is good. It is right. How could it not be? It is where you are. So be okay with it, and then go from here. And here we are on this group with common purpose to awaken the kundalini safely. With love, joy, grace, gratitude, service to others and other wonderful qualities. So again, I would invite you to further join us by digging into those safeties. Apply them in every way that you can through your day. And come here and ask questions. There are many very experienced and wise souls here who are willing to serve and help. What a blessing! Just my thoughts Andrew. be well! bradly > I guess that is why the kundalini keeps throwing up the same painful and heart-breaking memories again and again. I've went through all of this many-many times, it just keep looping around, going over and over the same stuff. > > Perhaps, I need to accept that part of me, although I'm not sure what part that is. All I know is, I can't ascertain anything, because I don't know whats going on for me, or what kundalini is doing for me. > > All I know is, that being rejected feels bad, and so does being judged, because it just feels like me doing it, and I move to try and fix that somehow, but I don't know how ... i just feel very pained that i still feel so unloved and unwanted, after all this time. > > I have been exploring me for quite some time, and i just don't get it! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 Do you feel these are symbolic of espects of yourself, Andrew? Or maybe picking up of scenes from pass lives you have lived? Linda P.S. One of the rules we have here is to clean up the post before sending by deleting most all the post that you are replying to. This keeps those who recieve the postings through e-mail from receiving a lot of long unnecessary repeated postings to weed through. A courtesy/service for them. , Andrew C <aindriu wrote: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 Thanks Linda, I'll delete the old in future. Like my friend says .. all of it is just " story " anyway and it's meaningless to me, as much as life is. If one wants to read into story, then that is for them to investigate.. i willingly share my life story to those that are interested in listening.. and pick up stuff that may be interesting .. that's all I do.. and perhaps i can help someone somewhere.. but i dont have any plans of helping myself anytime soon.. or actively helping others.. if one wants to give to me, i'm very open to receiving.. in whatever form that takes.. most of what i write is for myself.. alone.. and i can feel and i can see.. so if everyone wants to gather together .. look at me in shame or pity thats fine too.. i didn't ask to be the way i am.. I am just a miserable and wretched homeless man wandering around in this world, an idiot looking up into the clear blue sky, as the sun beats from behind me, and if i can find love that's fine.. and if not well perhaps the ground will swallow me whole... or i will be burned alive by the torch within.. that's fine too.. whatever happens.. i don't " feel " like doing anything much.. except writing.. Andrew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 Andrew if you wish to whine and complain about how you never asked for this and so forth ...fine. You can do it elsewhere. - This group isnt a repository for your complaints. If you choose to work proactively with the Kundalini great. If you choose to pursue your own depression fine. But that can be deposited elsewhere. Dont care to help anyone? Fine. Have a nice life. - chrism , Andrew C <aindriu wrote: and perhaps i can help someone somewhere.. but i dont have any plans of helping myself anytime soon.. or actively helping others.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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