Ascension is lonely

[Guest guest]

I know most posts here are positive. But I would like to address a problem I've

been having. As this process kicks into high gear it feels as if my entire

world is being flipped upside down. All friends and family have slipped away.

Our vibration is just to far apart. The world just looks completely different

and I feel very ungrounded. All patterns of mind have been cleared. Even my

mother who is very supportive and aware of whats going on with me seems to have

a disconnect. Even in the presense of others I feel very lonely. I look at

myself in the mirror and I can't even recognize myself. I am aware of whats

going on and surrendering to the process but its hard to feel love and belonging

in moments like this. Don't get me wrong I anticipate the changes everyday and

am positive about my transformation. Just feel alone with it.

 

Thanks for listening,

 

Patrick

[Guest guest]

Dear Patrick,

 

I can relate to the disconnect as I think most folks here can.

As you say your world has been flipped upside down and everything does look very

different. In my very limited experience while things do not ever return to the

way they were.... this disconnect does not last forever and it will pass. It is

K infusing and reaching into every aspect of ourselves and is connected to how

we fit now into this world. I really do not understand all the whys of it but I

do know that there is much to be learned by just allowing the not belonging to

be. I think this is quite different to depression but cultivating that inner joy

safety that Jan spoke of earlier would be a helpful safety to practice I feel.

Although this disconnect is strange and not easy it sounds like you are doing

very well. Don't be alone with it Patrick come and be with us here.... love

julia.

 

, " surrendering_to_myself "

<surrendering_to_myself wrote:

>

> Don't get me wrong I anticipate the changes everyday and am positive about

my transformation. Just feel alone with it.

>

> Thanks for listening,

>

> Patrick

>

[Guest guest]

But then you are also here and you have us! Maybe not live, in the flesh where

we can smile at you or hug you but we are here and we share much of what you are

experiencing. You may feel lonely where you are, where you live but you aren't

really alone.

 

Also, if you don't mind saying, you could tell us where you live. It's possible

you could meet up with a few people on the list who might be in the vicinity or

maybe talk to chrism about possible future seminars near you. THEN you will meet

others on the same page as yourself, in the physical.

 

Until that time, we are here.

And we are good listeners as well as people with our own stories to tell, if

you'd like to hear. And by all means, keep us posted. We know the upside and the

downside of these changes. We've discussed it here among ourselves plenty!

 

Wishing you comfort & acceptance, Patrick, as you change. In the bigger picture,

it is a beautiful thing.

Love,

Valarie

 

 

, " surrendering_to_myself "

<surrendering_to_myself wrote:

>

> I know most posts here are positive. But I would like to address a problem

I've been having. As this process kicks into high gear it feels as if my entire

world is being flipped upside down. All friends and family have slipped away.

Our vibration is just to far apart. > Thanks for listening,

>

> Patrick

>

[Guest guest]

Yes during the process we can slip into a private world of transformation. This

is normal. I will suggest that " all patterns of the mind " are far from clear and

the ego may be giving some misinformation about this.

 

One doesnt " need " or " have " to do this though it is sometimes beneficial. One

can also go right around the other way and invest themselves into life at a very

high rate. Either way we will be given that which we can hold at this particular

time.

 

I will suggest that it is indeed the ego that is lonely as it isnt used to not

engaging life in its old familiar ways and if you are still living from the

egoic control perspective then your experience of joy will move only as fast as

your ego self.

 

You are probably only feeling this way at certain times and fluctuate along the

diverse paths of feelings that come from these changes. " Viva la differance! "

and these feelings of disconnect are transitory and will pass.

 

You are doing well to even be ABLE to have this and your family relations and

other aspects of your social life will be restored. In the midst of change life

is different! - lol!~ - blessings to you Patrick! - chrism

[Guest guest]

I feel the same way but i have friends, just now i no longer want there

companionship because i see suffering very clearly and i know i cannot change

them. thank you for the words chrism

 

 

 

________________________________

<>

 

Sat, April 17, 2010 11:39:30 AM

Re: Ascension is lonely

 

 

Yes during the process we can slip into a private world of transformation. This

is normal. I will suggest that " all patterns of the mind " are far from clear and

the ego may be giving some misinformation about this.

 

One doesnt " need " or " have " to do this though it is sometimes beneficial. One

can also go right around the other way and invest themselves into life at a very

high rate. Either way we will be given that which we can hold at this particular

time.

 

I will suggest that it is indeed the ego that is lonely as it isnt used to not

engaging life in its old familiar ways and if you are still living from the

egoic control perspective then your experience of joy will move only as fast as

your ego self.

 

You are probably only feeling this way at certain times and fluctuate along the

diverse paths of feelings that come from these changes. " Viva la differance! "

and these feelings of disconnect are transitory and will pass.

 

You are doing well to even be ABLE to have this and your family relations and

other aspects of your social life will be restored. In the midst of change life

is different! - lol!~ - blessings to you Patrick! - chrism

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Patrick,

 

Yes, this happens. We change and move on, yet those who are not moving at the

same pace remain the same, sometimes for many lifetimes. Sometimes our karmas

are exhausted with certain individuals and we are left with fond memories, but

no regrets. In some cases, like with family, we may find ourselves later in

life coming back into a new and different relationship. But we may need some

time apart both emotionally and physically for a while.

 

In the end, our journeys are individual journeys. For a time we get to walk

with others, then Shakti flips us and we move on to new adventures.

 

Feel fond love and gratitude for all with whom you have interacted who have

helped to bring you to this present moment. They have served you and you have

served them in karma, in growth, and in the lessons that this particular

educational arena of earthly incarnation offers.

 

There is sometimes a fond remembrance of relationships past. As long as we're

not trying to recreate them or force something that is no longer there, I think

it is fine to feel this wistfulness. It is part of being human. It is also OK

to feel a little alone, as long as this does not cause fear.

 

It is normal in this process to no longer " fit in " or " belong " . As Shakti moves

you along in life, feel what She wants you to do next and embrace it with gusto.

This will help to alleviate feelings of loneliness, not belonging, etc., if they

really are a problem. (You refer to these as a " problem " , but it actually

sounds like you're dealing with them quite well.) If you do experience these

feelings in a problematic way, remind yourself that it is just your ego-mind

trying to panic - it does not like change.

 

The world is supposed to look " completely different " and you are supposed to

feel " ungrounded " . The external structures and internalized learned structures

that previously supported you are being dissolved so that Shakti can replace

them with something better. And repeat it again and again. Best to embrace

this process of continual transformation and learn to love it. Do not let

yourself become too attached to any momentary definition of who you are or what

you are in the world.

 

By the way, this constant change will completely flummox those around you who

are not undergoing transformation. Use your judgment and discretion - I find it

is always best to present to others a relatively stable persona that people can

understand and feel comfortable with. I always have a " story " to tell, as in

" What's your story? " or " So, what do you do? "

 

You are not quite as alone as it might sometimes appear. There are Siva and

Shakti, both within and without you, and all of their manifestations and

emanations. Those representing them and helping you along such as Chrism, and

others, perhaps unseen. Streams of energy that come through and transform you.

(Now that I think of it, you're not really very alone at all!)

 

Cultivate a love of the Divine in whatever form She may appeal to you and you

will never be alone!

 

But, we also like human companionship. Different people will come and go as you

continue to change. If you need to learn to be comfortable being alone, then

Shakti may give you that gift for awhile, too. Remember that nothing is

permanent.

 

For now, you may find in this group a community of fellow seekers. We share a

common path yet each one of our individual journeys is unique. Because we are

all undergoing continual transformation, we can open up and share things which

might not so readily be understood by others who are not in this process. We

share a camaraderie borne of love and of walking this wondrous path. So until

you meet the next person Shakti has waiting just around the bend for you, you

may find some human companionship here....

 

Love,

 

David

[Guest guest]

dear Patrick

 

one of the concepts from my field of psychology was often a help when

these kind of transitions come forth.

Each of us come into the world fresh without manifestation of boundaries

and boundedness. Quickly relationship and early patterns are set and we

develop all kinds of psychological bonding, especially from the primary

relationships.

 

When K Ma draws us inward we often touch the primary feelings which

where erected as defense of the true helplessness in our early

beginnings as we developed bonds to navigate various relationships.

 

In the process K Ma goes about process with a dissolution of the many

attachments and energetic bonding that do leave one feeling disconnected

and even a bit depersonalized at times. I would gently suggest to just

be aware of whatever feeling comes up and embrace. Such as if you are

feeling lonely or depersonalized, it might be beneficial to touch your

heart and say; " Even though i am experiencing loneliness or

depersonalization i deeply and completely love and accept myself. " I

have made that mantra a friend and anytime there is awareness of a

feeling state and its resistance i just say be with it and state the

above with feeling a few times and it truly is beneficial.

 

And now for the truth: You are not alone. At all times with K Ma

awakening you are surrounded by so many Beings to guide and protect. K

Ma does not leave her children alone, yet at times she takes us into

spaces to embrace aloneness so we move inward. Even in those times she

is peeking through the window or the small crack in the door so to

speak.

 

And even during this time when your identities are in question KMA and

we too know who you are. You are a beautiful child of God coming into

a divine fullness, both blessed and blessing. You are not alone dear

One.

 

love and light

sparrow

 

,

" surrendering_to_myself " <surrendering_to_myself wrote:

>

> I know most posts here are positive. But I would like to address a

problem I've been having. As this process kicks into high gear it feels

as if my entire world is being flipped upside down. All friends and

family have slipped away. Our vibration is just to far apart. The

world just looks completely different and I feel very ungrounded. All

patterns of mind have been cleared. Even my mother who is very

supportive and aware of whats going on with me seems to have a

disconnect. Even in the presense of others I feel very lonely. I look

at myself in the mirror and I can't even recognize myself. I am aware

of whats going on and surrendering to the process but its hard to feel

love and belonging in moments like this. Don't get me wrong I

anticipate the changes everyday and am positive about my transformation.

Just feel alone with it.

>

> Thanks for listening,

>

> Patrick

>

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Thanks everyone for your kind comforting thoughts. Its wonderful that all of

you spend so much time writing your thoughts to help each other. Seeing people

go out of there way for others is something i'm not used to, it feels good.

Chrism when I mentioned " patterns of mind being cleared " , I probaly should have

used changed instead of cleared. Thanks for calling me on that. I am aware

that my ego is getting in my way, but considering where I was in the past I am

proud of were I currently am with that. I am understanding of the difference

between ego driven and heart driven, but is there to be a balance between the 2

or a complete annihilation of the ego. Isn't ego and individuality an important

aspect of an opened 3rd chakra?

 

 

 

 

 

 

, " "

<> wrote:

>

> Yes during the process we can slip into a private world of transformation.

This is normal. I will suggest that " all patterns of the mind " are far from

clear and the ego may be giving some misinformation about this.

>

> One doesnt " need " or " have " to do this though it is sometimes beneficial. One

can also go right around the other way and invest themselves into life at a very

high rate. Either way we will be given that which we can hold at this particular

time.

>

> I will suggest that it is indeed the ego that is lonely as it isnt used to not

engaging life in its old familiar ways and if you are still living from the

egoic control perspective then your experience of joy will move only as fast as

your ego self.

>

> You are probably only feeling this way at certain times and fluctuate along

the diverse paths of feelings that come from these changes. " Viva la

differance! " and these feelings of disconnect are transitory and will pass.

>

> You are doing well to even be ABLE to have this and your family relations and

other aspects of your social life will be restored. In the midst of change life

is different! - lol!~ - blessings to you Patrick! - chrism

>

[Guest guest]

Ego is an important part of survival in the western world. I do not recommend

annihilation of it rather a re training of it. Behavior modification sometimes

in the extreme. I do not see it as a function of one chakra but rather a patina

of interaction for the first five. - blessings to you! - chrism

 

, " surrendering_to_myself "

<surrendering_to_myself wrote:

>

> Thanks everyone for your kind comforting thoughts.

[Guest guest]

Hello Patrick, Your not alone in this. As I just posted feels like I'm in a bad

movie with the wrong lines.

Seems like everyone ever in my life was of the lower vibrations...wasn't so long

ago I was there with them.

Ive changed so much in the last few years...the person they know simply isn't

there anymore. I understand

their angry, fear etc....I try to help it doesn't. At times I'm flying high as a

kite...and the bottom drops out

around others I feel ill...pain. I search for mirrors, why so low..lonely in a

flash. I don't stay there, Ive grown

 fond of my own company lol. But yes it lonely for us who don't have someone in

our life to share the adventure

with.

Always here,

Katharine

 

 

 

 

________________________________

surrendering_to_myself <surrendering_to_myself

 

Sat, April 17, 2010 9:53:45 AM

Ascension is lonely

 

 

I know most posts here are positive. But I would like to address a problem I've

been having. As this process kicks into high gear it feels as if my entire world

is being flipped upside down. All friends and family have slipped away. Our

vibration is just to far apart. The world just looks completely different and I

feel very ungrounded. All patterns of mind have been cleared. Even my mother who

is very supportive and aware of whats going on with me seems to have a

disconnect. Even in the presense of others I feel very lonely. I look at myself

in the mirror and I can't even recognize myself. I am aware of whats going on

and surrendering to the process but its hard to feel love and belonging in

moments like this. Don't get me wrong I anticipate the changes everyday and am

positive about my transformation. Just feel alone with it.

 

Thanks for listening,

 

Patrick

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Patrick - as many of the group have said - dont worry - this is normal. You

will feel alone for a while while you adjust to the changes that are occurring.

That feeling of alienation does create doubt in your mind and raise many

questions but dont let that phase you. with time (the length specific to you so

there is no special formula!) you will reintegrate into society again but with a

renewed perspective that allows you to see all in a much 'truer' light, free of

judgement and with an outlook of understanding, compassion and love. Keep that

end point in mind while you are feeling out in the cold now, as transgressing

this phase brings with it a wonderful outlook that you will only appreciate when

you get there.

 

Once you have crossed this hurdle then understand that many similar will follow

but generally of decreasing duration and with each hurdle crossed, you move

progressively forward in that process of learning and refinement. It will come

to pass that these lonely patches become welcome periods of reflection and

consolidation.

 

Blessings - Jonathan