New Member looking for insight

[Guest guest]

Hi, Im Jo from New Zealand, introducing myself and also trying to gain some

insight into whats going on within me.

 

Ive been on a spiritual path for about 7 years now....basically just meditating,

connecting with my guides and trying to learn the truth of who I am.

 

About a year ago, something new started to happen. When I would lie down for a

nap, or meditation, I would start to feel a very strong feeling in my base

chakra. The best way I can describe it is that it felt like it was a closed bud

trying to flower. Because of the area, it brought up fear that maybe some sort

of astral entity might be trying to have its way with me (Ive heard alot of

stories lol) so I would shut it down. Eventually, I remembered my faith in

myself and my guardians, and since it kept happening I figured the only way I

was going to understand what it was, was to allow it.

 

What ensued was a rapid opening of the base chakra, and what I can only describe

as energetic currents moving systematically up my spine, working on each chakra

before continuing. There was alot of vibrating and a very loud noise. I also

happened to be seeing a man that looked incredibly like Einstein sitting next to

me, overseeing the whole process. My body felt like it was arcing all over the

place as the energy sent shocks through my nerves. At one point I felt like I

couldnt take anymore, and said so in my head, to which the man replied .....well

he spoke in a foreign language telepathically lol, but it felt like he said

'Would you just let me get on with it'

 

By the time it reached my neck, the noise was overwhelming, the vibrations were

so intense, that I said 'This is too loud and too much' and shortly after it

stopped.

I lay on the bed wide awake and unable to move for a bit. I could still feel the

electric shocks going through my body and jolting me off the bed.

 

Sometime (weeks, months?) after this experience, I noticed I could feel an

internal subtle shaking/vibrating going on in my body. If I held my hand out to

see if I was shaking physically, I wasnt, but inside me the feeling is very

perceptible. I had the feeling I was being 'rewired'??

 

Ive always had an average connection with spirit.....seeing things, hearing

things now and then, knowing things and I have often felt balls of energy moving

through out by body and face. All of this has been going on to some degree for

the last 7 years, and hasnt changed...the only new occurance is alot of astral

travelling.

 

I became aware of a heavy feeling on the rear heart chakra....and one night

after having a dream that I needed healing in this spot, I insisted my husband

place his hand there and I asked for healing to channel through to me.

Thats when the waves of energy started. From base to throat, over and over. From

what I can remember there were at least 5 waves and I am sure more, and they

were very blissful.

 

And then life changed. Always been sensitive, but now (somedays) I feel the

inability to cope with people, noise, drama, life even. Im losing my temper

alot, which is not like me..and the fact that I have too small energetic

children who make alot of noise is really not helping the situation.

I have days where I dont want to do anything and nights where I cry myself to

sleep because I dont want to be here anymore, I dont feel I have the strength.

And then days where everything is beautiful and my heart swells with love and

happiness at being here, and the perceptible connection I feel with everything.

 

I feel bipolar in the extreme....issues that I thought Id healed are coming up

again, mystery illnesses that I had 10 years ago are reappearing....and gosh,

somedays I have total faith that whatever this is going on with me has a very

real purpose and agenda and its for my highest good, and others I wonder if I am

just losing my mind and having some sort of early midlife crisis.

 

Most days I barely want to eat. There are days my body feels like it has energy

blockages everywhere and I feel I have to do some strange body movements, like

rotating and moving my body in waves to find some comfort.

 

Lately, while I still feel the strange sensation on my rear heart chakra.....I

am now having energy balls move in through my left ear, under my face and down

through my throat. Throughout the day there is a feeling of energy movement in

my brain, between my eyes and behind my nose and so much activity going on in my

crown.

 

Its only been in the last month or so that I have found info on Kundalini.....as

I look back in my journal I see that just before this all started I was having

visions of a coiled green snake staring at me and then noted that I ran into

images of that same snake over a few subsequent days.

 

My dreamlife is insane...from images of lightening hitting trees and setting

them alight, to finding dead bodies buried in my back yard (coincidently an

aquaintance was found hidden dead in someones back yard two days after that

dream) to meeting strange peope telling me I have a powerful spirit working

through me.

 

I know I am rambling...I just dont understand really why this is happening to me

because I didnt particularly ask for it or do anything for it to

happen.(although I have always asked to achieve my highest level of

consciousness so in hindsight, maybe I did ask) I go through times where Im not

even sure it is kundalini....lol maybe Im just going crazy!

 

I guess I am just hoping to hear that it will calm down....I will get back to

the peace and calm that I used to be and this thunderstorm of anger, depression,

frustration and everything else I dont want to be, will become easier to manage

or disappear. Im hoping to hear this is all very very normal and that all of

you have been through similar and eventually life settled down. I feel like on a

soul level Im laughing at myself for thinking this isnt perfectly planned and

for worrying that anything is out of order. For doubting my ability to cope and

get through.

 

Thanks for reading. Id love to hear from you all

 

Jo