Guest guest Posted April 26, 2010 Report Share Posted April 26, 2010 I havent posted in a while as I have been having a difficult time with the K process lately. For the past few weeks K energy levels were way up - yet my personal levels of energy were way down. My K has been burning through some big blockages and nothing I did seemed to help. I had burning at the base of my spine and back and lots and lots of pulling and tugging around my neck and head as the energy worked its way around. Physical symptoms were very strong from the pulling to feeling as ants were just under my skin- this almost drove me crazy. The energy seemed as if it was blocked at the base of my spine and was working on my right kidney at the same time. I'm wondering if I am having a different kind of k activation i.e. from the head down, as it seems as the areas where the blockages are manifesting are working its way down my body from the head down. For example, my last large blockage area was in my stomach and now it is at the base of my spine. I guess it really dosent matter - it is what it is. Anyhow, this last one was a doozy! (Still is). I ate watermelon, meditated, prayed ,surrendered, stopped meditation, did Tibetians, stopped Tibetians, did Trataka, stopped Trataka, stopped meat, ate meat, danced, cried, walked in nature and curled my self up in a ball catatonic for hours. I even stopped all private student activity. Nothing changed the course or even helped in the slightest. I am usually not a whiner - but whoa! Besides the constant pulling and energy surges, m y moods were like I was going through menopause on steroids! Happy, sad, angry within the space of a few minutes! I was able to avoid complete meltdowns with others but I had a couple in private. I snapped at family members a few times, but on the whole I really-really tried not to. I questioned everything - even my involvements here and with Chrism. Whether or not the safties and my practices here were escalating things too much for me or if I was losing touch with my own line to God. I even questioned if I was putting in a personal position of too much of a religious authority or for example as a Saint. (He got a kick out of that one). Chrism was of course wonderful with me - patient, understanding and very kind- even when I said things in my ramblings about men and religions. I really did mean mankind (including women) as a whole, like in the human race, but I can see how I was taken as I was criticizing just the  menfolk. Sorry. =(  But as a side note, I do wonder if I was complementary towards menfolk  in my ramblings, if I would have gotten the same response from about being sorry that he was a man and he couldnt do much about changing it  =) LOL It's all good if you guys are taking the credit for something! hehe Things seem to be getting better for me now and whatever the K was burning through I usually find out what it was, after the fact - if at all. Sometimes the best I can do is just ride things out and when I look back, I ask, what the heck  WAS all that? One good thing is that even through all this emotional and physical upheaval I experienced the past few weeks I managed NOT to smoke! It has been over a month for me now and although I was sorely tempted, I held out. I don't understand alot of all this that is happening to me (at least on this level), but I am glad to be back and I am grateful that I can write about it here on this forum and I can learn from all of you and from Chrism. Even if if takes me several tries and I am pretty thick and stubborn sometimes, I eventually do come around and get through it! Thank you all for helping with sharing your own stories and kind words. Love Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 26, 2010 Report Share Posted April 26, 2010 Dear mary, Hugs and loads of love, you are wonderfully wonderful... well done on not smoking that is such good news to hear. Love Julia , merozema wrote: > .. > > I don't understand alot of all this that is happening to me (at least on this level), but I am glad to be back and I am grateful that I can write about it here on this forum and I can learn from all of you and from Chrism. Even if if takes me several tries and I am pretty thick and stubborn sometimes, I eventually do come around and get through it! Thank you all for helping with sharing your own stories and kind words. > > Love > > Mary > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 26, 2010 Report Share Posted April 26, 2010 Hi mary, well, I can totally relate to what you were saying. My process is more balanced now (although its still challenging and ongoing), and there was no real sequence how it worked in my body... sometimes head, then chest, then abdomen, then neck... it was all over the place.. and that exhaustion with too much energy in the body.. that used to hit me a lot... and those feelings of disconnection from God.. those were brutal.. and at times for weeks it was tough.. well done for not responding negatively to others and not smoking.. i feel those choices, where, in the face of great difficulty, you choose the higher way, or the places it matters most.. I was just happy to be breathing after some of the deeper clearings.. lol.. love bruce , merozema wrote: I havent posted in a while as I have been having a difficult time with the K process lately. For the past few weeks K energy levels were way up - yet my personal levels of energy were way down. My K has been burning through some big blockages and nothing I did seemed to help. > > I had burning at the base of my spine and back and lots and lots of pulling and tugging around my neck and head as the energy worked its way around. Physical symptoms were very strong from the pulling to feeling as ants were just under my skin- this almost drove me crazy. The energy seemed as if it was blocked at the base of my spine and was working on my right kidney at the same time. > > I'm wondering if I am having a different kind of k activation i.e. from the head down, as it seems as the areas where the blockages are manifesting are working its way down my body from the head down. For example, my last large blockage area was in my stomach and now it is at the base of my spine. I guess it really dosent matter - it is what it is. > > Anyhow, this last one was a doozy! (Still is). I ate watermelon, meditated, prayed ,surrendered, stopped meditation, did Tibetians, stopped Tibetians, did Trataka, stopped Trataka, stopped meat, ate meat, danced, cried, walked in nature and curled my self up in a ball catatonic for hours. I even stopped all private student activity. Nothing changed the course or even helped in the slightest. I am usually not a whiner - but whoa! > > Besides the constant pulling and energy surges, m y moods were like I was going through menopause on steroids! Happy, sad, angry within the space of a few minutes! I was able to avoid complete meltdowns with others but I had a couple in private. I snapped at family members a few times, but on the whole I really-really tried not to. > > I questioned everything - even my involvements here and with Chrism. Whether or not the safties and my practices here were escalating things too much for me or if I was losing touch with my own line to God. I even questioned if I was putting in a personal position of too much of a religious authority or for example as a Saint. (He got a kick out of that one). > > was of course wonderful with me - patient, understanding and very kind- even when I said things in my ramblings about men and religions. I really did mean mankind (including women) as a whole, like in the human race, but I can see how I was taken as I was criticizing just the  menfolk. Sorry. =(  But as a side note, I do wonder if I was complementary towards menfolk  in my ramblings, if I would have gotten the same response from about being sorry that he was a man and he couldnt do much about changing it  =) LOL It's all good if you guys are taking the credit for something! hehe > > Things seem to be getting better for me now and whatever the K was burning through I usually find out what it was, after the fact - if at all. Sometimes the best I can do is just ride things out and when I look back, I ask, what the heck  WAS all that? > > One good thing is that even through all this emotional and physical upheaval I experienced the past few weeks I managed NOT to smoke! It has been over a month for me now and although I was sorely tempted, I held out. > > I don't understand alot of all this that is happening to me (at least on this level), but I am glad to be back and I am grateful that I can write about it here on this forum and I can learn from all of you and from Chrism. Even if if takes me several tries and I am pretty thick and stubborn sometimes, I eventually do come around and get through it! Thank you all for helping with sharing your own stories and kind words. > > Love > > Mary > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 27, 2010 Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 Hi Mary, Congrats on not smoking! Blessings, Kat. ________________________________ " merozema " <merozema Mon, April 26, 2010 2:42:04 PM What the heck WAS all that?  One good thing is that even through all this emotional and physical upheaval I experienced the past few weeks I managed NOT to smoke! It has been over a month for me now and although I was sorely tempted, I held out. I don't understand alot of all this that is happening to me (at least on this level), but I am glad to be back and I am grateful that I can write about it here on this forum and I can learn from all of you and from Chrism. Even if if takes me several tries and I am pretty thick and stubborn sometimes, I eventually do come around and get through it! Thank you all for helping with sharing your own stories and kind words. Love Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 27, 2010 Report Share Posted April 27, 2010 Mary, Congratulations! I think you just got over a big piece of nicotine withdrawal. At the last moment, as your cells are about to get rid of the last of the nicotine, they suddenly cry out in terror and make you a bit crazy. You probably " knew " that you could have had a cigarette to " calm " all that stuff down. All that mental and emotional movement and activity, as well as Shakti's movement, were being physically suppressed by nicotine. It's one of the reasons we who have smoked did smoke - the nicotine suppressed a lot of mental and emotional and energetic activity, which can be very distracting, and thereby enabled us to focus our minds on the tasks at hand. At a cost of course. I have had similar experiences when I quit smoking. When you make it through without starting again, then you've passed a big hurdle. Eventually the mind and emotions settle down again and the cells become more relaxed - not always craving another hit - and a new balance develops. So - Congratulations! Love, David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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