Initiation story. . . Just a sharing and question.

[Guest guest]

Namaste

 

I received a request from a friend that is up in her 80's that has been

undergoing K awakening since the late 1970's. She is now in her mid

eighties. She asked the following question.

 

I would love to hear Chrism's and other's response to this question.

 

" ( Marci, I have a question for you. I am preparing a presentation

for an upcoming K. conference on the changes that occur in the K.

process for those who have been in transformation for several

years--and you certainly are one. I would love to hear from you as to

how your internal process has changed--of course, your outward

activities may be the biggest change. But would still like to know if

k. continues and if so if it feels different now--or arrives less

frequently. The basic question is simply--how does the k. process

shift through time. " )

 

I always find it difficult to answer any question as to when K Ma

started for the openness to Shakti was fully experienced as a

pre-school child and there is not a marker of when it started. While

contemplating the question, my memory went back to 1976 on a day i have

called Kundalini Initiation, and have decided to share it here. I had

blogged it awhile back in my private journal so have tried to leave the

picture images in and they may not format well here.

 

In 1995 i went through K Awakening and then met Amma. It took 30 years

for the energetic of that one 24 hour initiation to come forth. While

in the 40 days of K Awakening another initiation was given and nowadays

i am living into the manifestation of that initiation.

 

I would love to hear other's initiation experiences. It is an area that

i have not read much about with Kundalini and have found initiation to

be a most interesting aspect of K Ma transformation. What i have found

is with an initiation experience at the time it is not readily

discernible except there is an aura of something very significant is

happening here, but with time one begins to see the energetic imprint

was laid through an experiential.

 

love and honor to One and All.

sparrow

This is the repost from my journal written about 6 years ago from the

stand point of just opening my heart and directing it towards Amma.

 

 

<http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kirlK7AfRHM/SsW4l0jYPzI/AAAAAAAAB_Q/dTpsmdBG-\

Ek/s1600-h/mother_full.jpg>

Mother Africa , great cradle of civilization, womb of the first Eve,

as I walked your rich dark body, something forgotten yet so deeply

remembered, ignited the psyche of the old feminine instinctual mind,

body, and spirit that knew and longed to return home. I call this day

initiation, because like a song forgotten, that comes back in half and

grace notes, the old deep song began to emerge through dense dark

matter, these stories are like the words of that old forgotten song.

Each note called me deeper to do the work of soulful reclamation and

return to the Great Mother. For this child returning to the Goddess

has been my life work, bringing the unconscious darkness to be

transmuted by Her light and healing. Truly She has been the Lamp at my

feet in all of the wondering and wandering. To the Great Mother, the

All in All, I humbly bow and surrender All and Awe , for in Her I began

and to Her I return. JAI MA

 

At this point in life, i had no awareness that Kundalini is symbolized

by the snake or there was to come a beautiful dark skinned woman in

India that would help make sense out of this strange day. There was no

cognitive awareness of Kundalini or Eastern ways.

 

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k8/s1600-h/Black+Mamba+2.bmp>

 

Africa in all her expressions, was so instrumental in shattering the

frame of my Western indoctrinations in culture, religion, and reality. I

once heard that in a life time, humans shed about 40 lbs of skin. I

have often wondered how many pounds of skin does Kundalini Ma require

in the transformation process?

 

 

 

 

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Rc/s1600/amma-temple.jpg>

 

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Young Mata Amritanandamayi. JAI MA " The principle behind the

image- On the Brahmasthanam temple pratishta, images of Shiva, Devi,

Ganapathi and Nagam ( the serpent) have been sculped on the four sides

of the stone. The primary deities here are Shiva and Shakti, and the

pratishta as a whole represent s the Shiva-Shakti family. It is also

a symbol of the principle of primal Nature. Moolaprakriti. The whole

Universe is contained in it. The Shiva represent s the aspect of

Braham, which cleanses us of all impurities. . . . Another part of

the sankalpa here is that of Ganapathi. Ganapathi is that aspect of

God that removes the obstacles on our spiritual path. Nagam

represents Muruga; there is also the sankalpa of Rahu. Further, Nagam

symbolizes the Kundalini or the Muladhara Shakti ( the power of the

Divine Feminine laying latent in the Chakra of the aspirant. Thus,

the principle behind this image is that the Kundalini awakens, rises

up the spine in the form of a serpent, and when all obstacles have

been removed, finally merges with the Shiva aspect of the Divine the

Brahaman aspect. Thus, the image symbolizes the path leading to the

union of the Jeevatman (individual soul) with the Paramatman (the

supreme) " Taken from Mata Amritanandamayi Devi The Brahmasthanam

An Epoch-Making Temple

 

 

Precious Amma, is it possible that in early 1976, You said a prayer,

and asked for Your children to receive an initiation that would bring

us back Home to you. If you did I think I received it.

 

Perhaps like a skipping stone, it bounced across the great ocean, to

remote tribal lands to Sannyati Mission in Zimbabwe Africa. Early

morning it found me gasping for cool. I lay buried in an ache of

spiritual longing, where something forgotten yet so deeply remembered

tore the heart. A stale airless room with the stark realization, the Sun

is a long time burn. The space mirrored the intense internal search

for God. . . Truth. . . Purpose. . . As I lay swaddled in a dark,

dusty woven blanket of Southern Baptist Fundamentalism. The lips

whispered, " Help me God " ,as I arose to find cool, some tree shade, and

water.

 

As I opened the door leading out, my hand was grabbed and was placed on

a mop handle, with a command. " Do not move the mop, there is a Cobra

under it and I will go for a hoe. " I did not want Stanley to kill it

with a hoe, nor did I want to remove the mop for fear that it would

strike, and I would DIE. Frozen in the indecision, the breath hung

too long. Stanley returned and I asked him not to kill it, but just

remove it from the porch. The mop was removed, and the Cobra lay dead.

In my fear I had smothered the Cobra. This was not cool.

 

[bLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5097884062836708130]

<http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IyUS8JrtgKw/Rr9Si5-B0yI/AAAAAAAAAIc/rI2EHChlW\

sE/s1600-h/Cobra+for+story.bmp> Shortly, I made my way to the tribal

hospital. I met a young patient. Her name was Sabona and her front

toothless smile was captivating. She was 10 years old and as I tried

to communicated and comfort her, Mrs. Forte told me her story. She had

been bitten by a very poisoners snake, a black mamba. Her food and leg

looked like an old discard weathered boot. It was gangrene and dead.

To save her life she needed an amputation. She was of the Tonga tribe,

an ancient, remote isolated group. A two week attempt to obtain the

release for surgery had been denied by her Father. Every request was

met with, " No. . . No. . . No. . . " Sins of the Mother. . . Sins of the

Mother. . . . was his accusing chant. I left the room with those words

reverberating deep into my soul, like a dagger 10,000 splashed deep

shearing something forgotten. " God, please help " , the prayer as I

left this child.

 

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[bLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5097880785776661234]

<http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IyUS8JrtgKw/Rr9PkJ-B0vI/AAAAAAAAAIE/eXKVJqTEw\

Ic/s1600-h/Aftican+girl+in+hosp.bmp> While walking down the hallway

away from this child, an arm reached from a doorway and grabbed my hand

with a request. " Can you help us keep wet blankets on this man? " The

man in the bed laid wide-eyed, speechless with pursed lips, and

panting gills,he quivered. Without the wet blankets, his blood

pressure would plummet to live threatening levels. A black magician

had cast a spell on him and turned him into a fish.

 

He was a fish out of water and was experiencing all it's consequence. A

good witchdoctor had been summoned to break the spell. The nurse

explained that there where 7 different animal spells that could leave

a victim completely transfixed into its reality. I left the room

wide-eyed and my mind bulging with questions. How? What? Why? Real?

Unreal? Mind? Emotion? Dark powers? Light powers?

 

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<http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_IyUS8JrtgKw/Rr9O4J-B0uI/AAAAAAAAAH8/l21DRP92P\

Pw/s1600-h/Fish+man.bmp> I needed a walk to contemplate this

incomprehension morning. Once again I headed for the shelter of a

large shade tree. The Sun was high stroked and its rays piercing.

Under the tree a woman was standing and frozen in stillness as she

stared at the ground. Soon my eyes followed her focus, I too was

seized in stillness. A HUGE Boa Constrictor had imprisoned a young goat

and was in the process of swallowing it whole.

 

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2k/s1600-h/Boa+in+tree+story.bmp>

 

Every fiber of my being wanted to rescue the little goat, but I stood

wordless, powerless, and helpless as the belly of the Boa bloated with

goat. Raw, primal, devouring, and my pleas,my insignificance, my

discomfort could of easily received a grin, a wink, and a " Hey woman "

I destroy, I transform, this is what i do. "

 

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9g/s1600-h/Boa+with+Goat+story.bmp>

 

Was it 40 minutes, 40 days, 40 years, moving in and out of realms to

surface with the uselessness of words? Then what seemed to be cosmically

orchestrated the woman and I met gazes. Like a tazer stun gun my heart

was blasted, with struggle, isolating impotence, and and empathic

awareness of her incomprehensible fate. True suffering, the Sun that

shone discomfort for me, was for this African woman a violent

penetration in its relentless radiation. This woman was Albino,

unprotected, unshielded, her skin out of context in this primal land

of the Dark Mother. I returned to the hospital heavy.

 

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As I rounded a corner, " What is your blood type? " I replied " A+ " . "

Great, your a match, " Dr. Forte exclaimed. He told me to rush to the lab

and have a draw, for a baby in surgery needed blood. The woman was to

undergo a C-section due to a feared rupturing placenta. I ran and asked

the technician to draw 2 pints, She asked, " did Dr. Forte say, 2

pints? " I shook my head no. She drew one large as I pumped the arm to

make it flow faster. I ran to the surgery and took it directly in. As

the warm blood began its drip, the surgeon's knife sliced the abdomen

and so very quickly a baby girl was lifted out. I stood wobbly and

transfixed in the effluence of the pulsating God energy of birthing.

Now this was cool, so very cool.

 

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I returned to Sabon's room, and Jerry the aviation mission pilot

asked if I wanted to fly to the Tonga tribe for another attempt to

request surgery from the Medicine Man and Sabona's father. In flight

Jerry explained that the Tonga people practiced female ritual

practices.

 

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vs/s1600-h/Female+Genital+m+child.bmp>

 

I did not know that he was referring to female genital mutilation.I

did not know there was even such a practice. I was such a naive puppy

in this strange hypnotizing wondrous world.

 

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The tribe lived primitive, it could of been 100, 500, 1,000 years ago?

Jerry went to talk to the men and I went to be with the women and

children.

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There i met a beautiful dark Mother. She extended her hand, her heart,

and I was drawn by the presence of her embrace. I spent the day with

her down by the river washing clothes, singing song, tending the

children, preparing the evening meal. Without a shared spoken language

our hearts knew a true language. Her toothless smile and laughter was

welcoming.

 

[bLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5097865551527662050]

<http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IyUS8JrtgKw/Rr9BtZ-B0eI/AAAAAAAAAF8/sZrHRuhuH\

po/s1600-h/Zimbabwe+Woman.bmp> She was pregnant, with a little one on

her back, and another at her feet. That night I slept in the hut with

her and the children. We lay like little spoons, curved into one

another, on a grass mat. I lay awake late into the night enveloped in

sanctuary by something ancient, mysterious, and powerfully woman.

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oI/s1600-h/untitledAfrican+children+SA.bmp>

We held space in Oneness, beyond time, beyond distance, beyond culture,

beyond language. Dawn closed a full day, and a new one began. early

morning we departed with the needed permission for Sabona's surgery.

As the plane ascended so did my heart. The Dark Mother re-membering

something forgotten, yet so deeply returning.

 

So much undoing in order to be free enough to return.

 

[bLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5097863704691724738]

<http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IyUS8JrtgKw/Rr9AB5-B0cI/AAAAAAAAAFs/aRQn-3sHq\

ug/s1600-h/untitledMother+earth+nite+sky.bmp> My biggest regret is that

when I left African in May 1977, is that I did not jump into the great

ocean and wash up on Amma's shore in India. Instead I was to swim an

Ocean of personal and collective consciousness of Maya before She

brought me to the Holy Feet of my Guru,. the beautiful Dark Mother

where the inside and the outside become the same. Jai Ma

 

I returned to America, what had transpired in a brief 24 hours laid

the imprint for what was to occur in the next 30 years of my life. the

Dark Mother wrapped me in a story, then blew me with Her salt and

peppered breath. Like Dorothy in the Land of Oz, I landed into a strange

mysterious spiritual reality to free the " knots of the curse " , in an

epic search for Grace. The knots where personal karma and they where

also found to be the restricting 10,000 year old soiled rags of

woman, of Mother Earth, of indigenous people?

 

I deeply sense all of us in our own ways have come forth to reclaim

the sacred heart, the feminine expression of the Divine Mother from

the spirit of domination that has been known by hands of Patriarch?

At one point patriarch was the leading frontier of consciousness and

that is to be honored to, and now we are moving into a new frontier of

collective consciousness where balance of masculine and feminine brings

forth what some might call Christ consciousness.

 

_()_ Namaste

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[Guest guest]

Sparrow: Your Stories always amaze me - there is a weaving that is seen in the

presentation of your journey. A weaving that reveals the deep unraveling of

your soul's layers.

 

I do not recall how exactly the K came to me. I know it happened in Italy where

I was staying on my ancestral lands. I did not know at the time what had

occurred yet I feel my ancestors had waited for me to come to them. I had never

planned to go there yet was given an opportunity and I went. There was an

intense feeling of home that was felt by me. I related to the family there and

they to me in a very loving and accepting manner. This was like nothing I had

ever experienced. I went back two more times and feel I cemented the

relationships with the current relatives. I plan to return and will visit the

cemeteries and the living souls once again.

 

I was very fortunate for I found chrism not long after this beginning. I have

not had to suffer in darkness as so many have and I am eternally grateful for

this gift of teacher.

 

I feel at home in Italy - this is where I truly belong - why I was born on the

other side of the ocean is not clear. The family asked if I would live there and

I said yes if I could. Walking the land - hearing the language seeing the

ancient images all these feel right - I feel I am a part of all of this. As I

meander here in the states never feeling settled the effort is being made to

find a way to spend more time with my ancestors and living relatives in Italy

before I die.

 

It is so interesting how we all come from such different spaces to land here in

the KAS program. I talk often about the connectivity that I feel here in the

group. When you tell your story Sparrow I feel the experiences you felt- I am

there with you. AS you seek and find you carry me along with you in all aspects

of the journey .

 

Blessings and thank you for sharing this initial opening of your spirit to the

K.

 

e

[Guest guest]

Namaste

 

dear ...

 

Thank you so much for sharing your initiation. As i read i wondered if

part of the K initiation is the ancient calling forth the ancient within

us. Perhaps the ancient relatives or land is key in releasing something

within the DNA?

 

what you share reminds me of a few peels that occurred as i went

through K Awakening. One of those day started with a morning bath that

extended for several hours. The words i can place around it are K Ma

was revealing the entire life experience into matter. I started out as

a one cell organism and divide into an amobea type creature, then

became a tadpole that turned into a fish. I lived in the ocean for a

long time and became more complex until i slowly ventured into land. It

was full body memory, very physical as and i was allowed to move

through the body experience of each phase of evolution. When i left the

bathtub and ventured to the middle of the living room floor i was very

shriveled. From there continued the evolutionary land peel to present.

When i began to take human form, the ancestors gathered around. They

were so loving and there was a knowing their lives and prayers where a

very significant part of the present awakening. I felt such gratitude

towards each and every one of them. I knew their lives and could see

both the light and shadow aspects. That which could be considered

light and that which could be considered dark of each ancestor and life

manifestation brought balance and wholeness . It was all valued and

necessary. I was told by one of them, " we have carried you and now you

carry us into forever. They said that my release was also their

release. " I have pondered this? But some how in the Oneness it felt

they where saying that when the present generation of K Ma children

release we also carry them within our DNA and they too shall experience

release. I hold all with an openness of not knowing as we live into

the answer that will perhaps be revealed further down the road.

 

I have wondered if there is both soul/self re-incarnation as well as DNA

transgeneration? Are they the same or are they two different paths

leading to the One?

 

" As I meander here in the states never feeling settled the effort is

being made to find a way to spend more time with my ancestors and living

relatives in Italy before I die. "

 

Maybe your life here in the States and meeting your beloved Teacher is

truly about spending 'forever' with your beloved ancestors from the Old

Country through the computation of One?

 

So much of the peel of those intense days of Awakening dissolved with

the illusionary substance of maya yet i have held with an open hand and

heart the ancestors within the DNA are also in the release of K Ma.

I gave up believing that K Ma was about my personal transformation some

time ago.

 

i sense those in the first Western wave such as and myself

was comprised of many that moved through the mire and density without

teachers or cognitive frames. We ventured into all kinds of landscapes,

took detours and even fell in a number of deep holes. Then we climbed

out tattered and a bit humbled by our own hubris perhaps leaving a half

smile on our faces and a deep commitment to sharing some light for the

next wave so the path could be more gentle. And this powerful second

wave that is so evident in the breath and heart of KAS1 will truly lead

to a much greater manifestation of K Ma into the global reality. And

who knows the children or grandchildren of the present wave may be

birthing babies from the womb, awakened in ways humankind have never

known before?

 

In truth do not know but i hold a vision where both our children of

the future and our ancestors from yesterday reach forward and backward

touching and embracing the eternal now, Here.

 

Sorry i got chatty and off topic somewhat. lol!

 

 

love and honor

sparrow

 

 

, " "

. wrote:

>

>

> Sparrow: Your Stories always amaze me - there is a weaving that is

seen in the presentation of your journey. A weaving that reveals the

deep unraveling of your soul's layers.

>

> I do not recall how exactly the K came to me. I know it happened in

Italy where I was staying on my ancestral lands. I did not know at the

time what had occurred yet I feel my ancestors had waited for me to come

to them. I had never planned to go there yet was given an opportunity

and I went. There was an intense feeling of home that was felt by me.

I related to the family there and they to me in a very loving and

accepting manner. This was like nothing I had ever experienced. I

went back two more times and feel I cemented the relationships with the

current relatives. I plan to return and will visit the cemeteries and

the living souls once again.

>

> I was very fortunate for I found chrism not long after this beginning.

I have not had to suffer in darkness as so many have and I am eternally

grateful for this gift of teacher.

>

> I feel at home in Italy - this is where I truly belong - why I was

born on the other side of the ocean is not clear. The family asked if I

would live there and I said yes if I could. Walking the land - hearing

the language seeing the ancient images all these feel right - I feel I

am a part of all of this. As I meander here in the states never feeling

settled the effort is being made to find a way to spend more time with

my ancestors and living relatives in Italy before I die.

>

> It is so interesting how we all come from such different spaces to

land here in the KAS program. I talk often about the connectivity that

I feel here in the group. When you tell your story Sparrow I feel the

experiences you felt- I am there with you. AS you seek and find you

carry me along with you in all aspects of the journey .

>

> Blessings and thank you for sharing this initial opening of your

spirit to the K.

>

> e

>

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

What a beautiful post! Every repetition of JAI MA is like a refrain - it makes

me swoon a bit! I have to close my eyes and let Her take me away.

 

JAI MA!

 

Love,

 

David

[Guest guest]

I am breathless, speachless...yet my heart is pounding. I am in wonder and awe

with your story/your writing. I wish to return again when I can slow down and

savor this meal. Blessing to you, Ordinary Sparrow.

 

Love:

Danielle

 

, " Ordinary Sparrow "

<ordinarysparrow wrote:

>

> Namaste

>