Guest guest Posted May 10, 2010 Report Share Posted May 10, 2010 So I had a realization a few months back where I saw all of awareness looking at me, and all of the awareness was me. The paradox of the singularity that was gazing into an internal mirror. I knew that I was singular in a mass of illusion. And that I was the illusion. And that everything Is the illusion, and that everything IS. Words can't really describe it, but a lot of you get where I'm going with this. Basically everything as an extension of myself. But that I didn't lose my identity, because there was no death even in that realization. I didn't feel like my ego died or anything, but that everything I touched felt, saw, heard, was radiating from this point of singularity that is me. Nothing really changed, just an awareness. And then I realized the paradox, and I found myself asking... Do I/we want to stay asleep or do I/we want to wake up? I have tried not to focus on it so much lately but it has come back to me. I find myself asking if I want to be at singularity again. Do I really want to do this? Well yes I do, because I obviously can't hold this realization and be the same. There is a sense of sadness to this beauty. Perhaps this is yet another fear. I do not feel complete sadness, but I do not feel complete joy. Those emotions can't really describe the realization. It is bittersweet. But then again, I did ask for truth. I find myself non-attached. Non dual. But still in a dream that I really don't know if I want to wake up from. Maybe I wanted to stay asleep. But then again, I can't. So really, do we, I, really want to wake up? This is the part of the path I am on right now. I don't know why I posted this, but I felt compelled to. Can anyone relate or understand where I am coming from? Love =), -Tiffany S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2010 Report Share Posted May 10, 2010 Dear Tiffany, Thank you so much for writing. I recently had an experience of looking at my husband and seeing myself staring back at me. It was surreal. I find myself asking the question you ask as well. Do I want to wake up. I have fears that I would lose my family or the illusion of my family. I still want that. The irony is what already is is anyway. Love, Jennifer > > So really, do we, I, really want to wake up? > > This is the part of the path I am on right now. > > I don't know why I posted this, but I felt compelled to. > > Can anyone relate or understand where I am coming from? > > Love =), > > -Tiffany S > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2010 Report Share Posted May 11, 2010 Yes. Once you choose, the idea that a loss will occur. -bon voyage, I've heard people say the water's fine, jump in. , " angelikdementia " <angelikdementia wrote: > > So I had a realization a few months back where I saw all of awareness looking at me, and all of the awareness was me. > Can anyone relate or understand where I am coming from? > > Love =), > > -Tiffany S > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2010 Report Share Posted May 11, 2010 I know how this feels and thank you for posting. Reading " your " post, I know that *I AM* you. I know that there's no real " me " and that *I AM* everything, but at the same time I don't always feel it and pine for things outside " myself " to make me happy. Slowly the real *I* awakens...some parts more slowly than others. *I* want to wake up... *I* need to wake up. As I've heard it said... " All is well " ) > Basically everything as an extension of myself. But that I didn't lose my identity, because there was no death even in that realization. I didn't feel like my ego died or anything, but that everything I touched felt, saw, heard, was radiating from this point of singularity that is me. Nothing really changed, just an awareness. > > And then I realized the paradox, and I found myself asking... Do I/we want to stay asleep or do I/we want to wake up? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2010 Report Share Posted May 11, 2010 I thought, meditated and contemplated on it, and realized that if " I " wanted to wake up, then that must be the reason for this occurring. So in respect for myself, lol, I will do just that. It's evolution I suppose =) If it wasn't meant to happen, then why are so many parts of the singularity evolving and waking up? It only makes sense. The paradox is a paradox still, but only because I cannot hold that in a frame of separate mind that is incapable. I just need to go with the agenda and trust. Trying to intellectualize it all just doesn't work out. As far as loss, knowing what I know, I don't see that happening =) Not anymore anyways (though a few months ago I had the same fear) Thanks for letting me write everyone. It helps a lot. It's good that we have a place to discuss these parts of the path, and people who understand them. Love to all! -Tiffany S , " notshowboating " <jennifer.burgueno wrote: > > Dear Tiffany, > > Thank you so much for writing. I recently had an experience of looking at my husband and seeing myself staring back at me. It was surreal. I find myself asking the question you ask as well. Do I want to wake up. I have fears that I would lose my family or the illusion of my family. I still want that. The irony is what already is is anyway. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2010 Report Share Posted May 11, 2010 Thank you =) -Tiffany S , " Vic " <merlot.goddess wrote: > > I know how this feels and thank you for posting. Reading " your " post, I know that *I AM* you. I know that there's no real " me " and that *I AM* everything, but at the same time I don't always feel it and pine for things outside " myself " to make me happy. Slowly the real *I* awakens...some parts more slowly than others. *I* want to wake up... *I* need to wake up. As I've heard it said... " All is well " ) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2010 Report Share Posted May 11, 2010 =) And it is! -Tiffany S , " elagmck " <elagmck wrote: > > Yes. Once you choose, the idea that a loss will occur. > -bon voyage, I've heard people say the water's fine, jump in. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2010 Report Share Posted May 12, 2010 One thought that occurred to me when you said about fear of losing the illusion of family, and then followed with the irony of what already is IS. My thought was that our fear stems from the possible rejection by others, such as our family. If our perception changed would they be happy and accepting? Would our illusion collapse under its own weight? Funny idea to collapse under your own weight, a person wouldn't even be able to move!.... Happy hunting (metaphorically speaking)! -Gabriel , " notshowboating " <jennifer.burgueno wrote: > > Dear Tiffany, > > Thank you so much for writing. I recently had an experience of looking at my husband and seeing myself staring back at me. It was surreal. I find myself asking the question you ask as well. Do I want to wake up. I have fears that I would lose my family or the illusion of my family. I still want that. The irony is what already is is anyway. > > > Love, > > Jennifer > > > > > > > So really, do we, I, really want to wake up? > > > > This is the part of the path I am on right now. > > > > I don't know why I posted this, but I felt compelled to. > > > > Can anyone relate or understand where I am coming from? > > > > Love =), > > > > -Tiffany S > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2010 Report Share Posted May 14, 2010 yipppeeee! i wouldnt know. :-) very kewl that you know, hooray! , " angelikdementia " <angelikdementia wrote: > > =) > > And it is! > > -Tiffany S > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.