my unbelievable journey

ashby2004 · October 9, 2010

It all started in the year 2000 when I broke up with my fiancé. I have always had a spiritual inclination. I started going to the Siddha Yoga Ashram. The head of this organization, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, gave me a spiritual initiation called shaktipat.

Initially this was a very pleasant experience. However, about two weeks later, I had an abrupt opening. I had been having trouble sleeping for a couple of days, when in the middle of the night I had a sudden movement in my kidneys. This really set me into a panic. The next morning when I got up, energy started rushing up my spine into my head. I called my parents for help. I ended up seeing a doctor and stopping Siddha Yoga altogether. About two and a half years later I started up my practice again. My practice was very intense this time around. I would chant the Guru Gita for an hour in the morning followed by meditation. During my meditations I would experience spontaneous movements called kriyas, at the time they would mostly occur in my heart chakra and my third eye chakra. About three months later, I started experiencing energy shooting out of my head towards the sky. This was very intense. While these things were happening to me I was focused on Gurumayi and Muktananda and Nityananda.

I was starting to feel supernatural at this time.

These energy movements spiraled out of control to the point that I had to be hospitalized. I had not been eating or sleeping for nearly two weeks. I was close to death. I would be lying in bed paralyzed with energy piercing my skull and spine and my mind would be racing out of control. I felt the presence of Gurumayi at this time. About a week later I came to my senses enough to get out of the hospital without medication. I was hearing a voice at this point, which claimed to be Gurumayi. I thought that everything that had happened to me had been a spiritual cleansing. The entity that claimed to be Gurumayi was, interfearing with everything that I did. I was very weak and would eat very little. A week later I moved back to my house to get ready for my wifes return. When my wife got back, things did not go well at all. This entity that claimed to be Gurumayi, got in the way of everything that I did. For a while I listened to this entity, thinking that she was a spiritual authority. This entity was not very nice to me at times and because she was always in the way I started to not believe in her. I started to eat meat and the voice became very angry. I decided to see a doctor to see if they could help me. I tried various medications over the next three years, which helped but did not get rid of the voice that claimed to be gurumayi. I should say that the voice did not sound like Gurumayi, but it definitely had her energy and presence, which would vary throughout the day. My wife left the house on good terms with me at this time. I decided to taper off the meds at this time to see what would happen. The entity revealed itself to be Muktananda at this time! At this time I began to experience very powerfull kryas and heat all over my body and my energy was completely opened up to this entity now. He could completely posess me. He then revealed himself to be a siddha master and not Muktananda. He had the ability to make me dance. He could completely control my body! He could make me whistle, and I don’t know how to whistle! He could get me to feel the presence of people from a distance instantly. He has the ability to think of Gurumayi and me at the same time which explains why I felt her presence all the time. Also Gurumayi has been in hiding for the most part for the same amount of time that this has been happening to me.

With all of his powers, I still do not want him around but he wont leave me alone. For this reason I know that he is a bad siddha. I have gone back on the medications to help keep him away from me, but he can still posess me. I pray to god all the time.

I know this story sounds crazy! but there really is a bad siddha up there that is completely psychotic towards me and Gurumayi!

Gadiyar · October 27, 2010

I hope you are not suffering with Acute Paranoid Schizophrenia a condition with symptoms just like yours.

bmsuthar · November 7, 2010

dear atmabandhu:

As a sadhak, I would look little different way. I saw a problem and it is very common and logical too. Anyone get shaktipat, gets lots of energy boost. Person has to be ready and prepared with appropriate plans before starting spiritual journey. Like before we plan to get lots of water, we have to plan about storing it then how and where we are going to use it. How we can get the most benefits out of it. Same way before we start spiritual journey, we have to decide our goal, our dedication and faith in our journey. Shaktipat is removing all the obstacles of the spiritual path means it opens up the flow of inner energy, connects us with universal energy, etc. Now, we should know how to handle this enormous flow of the energy. This can make you spiritually rich or if you don't know how to handle it, you can be physically crippled or mentally disable too. Therefore, Sadhana has to be done nearby Guru or experienced yogis. In dhyan, concentrating only on one chakra, generate a great strong flow of energy but there nothing to control or administer to make best use of it. Here you need to concentrate in 108 energy centers of the body and distribute this energy into all over body. This will take off the pressure from one concentrated area. Then with calm mind watch them carefully with alertness. Also, in this difficult time, instead of medication prayer should be used. Sadhak should pray to the Guru or any idol to make him able to hold this energy or pray and ask for guidance and surrender it. These kind of problem are in this Purva Margi (Eastern Path) yoga. If you do Paschim Margi (Western Path) yoga path (This east and west is related to the Body not the Earth or Globe). In Purva Marg Sadhak travel through the Six Chakras first and they are located in the front of the body and Parchim Marg Sadhak travel through the spine and reach to the Top Chakra i.e. the Sahasradal Chakra where he gains most of the knowledge may all the knowledge he may need to complete his spiritual journey on his own. Then he starts his spiritual journey from top towards down to muladhar chakra. Then again he goes back to the top. This complete his spiritual journey with minimum problems.

As I am only a sadhak not a yoga teacher so I may not have explained appropriately but you can use your common sense and and experiences try to understand this simple and logical way of journey. If I have offended you or your faith, I apologize. Remember yoga cures diseases, yogi does not need medication.

To play with yoga is to play with a snake. It is very dangerous. Need good help and guidance in this spiritual journey.