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...trying to find answers through astrology? can you help?

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Dear All

 

My birth data is:

12.07.1979

10:35 AM

Riga, Latvia

Female

 

I will try to give as much information as possible and help me to find answers ... to:

 

1) Why it happens to me..

I had a quite challenging childhood. Parents divorced when I was 1.5 years old. Mums is alcoholic, dad - I didnt' received enough attention from him (now we finally have a good relationship...) I was raised by my grandmother... there was always lack of attention, and warmth, which has created in me some kind of self doubt, nonetheless I always had a hope for better, and I had, despite my self-doubt, a drive to achieve sucess.

 

When I was 23, I married my first boyfriend...our relatioship was destructive at the very beginning, he was very controlling, jelous, also with some problems with alcahol. Over the time relatioships became even more destructive - I have gone through emotionally and physically violence toward me. I was emotionally codependent and was afraid to make a step..to quite the relationship

 

...until

 

Last week I finally found appartment to move out with my two children and to try to restore my self-worth and self-esteem...I seems to be hard healing process. I know it will be difficult to end these relationships, as he seems to search for new ways of manipulating with me..I am also scared as I am mother of two and I will have to earn money alone...it is not a easy task for a woman ...

 

Is it visible in my natal chart????? Why it happens to me??

 

2) what happened a year ago?

I have a good education. During recent years, I had achieved some professional development. In april 2009 I found a good job in international company. I started to take some long distance business trips. It was a time when I learned to use solitde for myself and it helped to look at my marriage in the true light and see and evaluate how destructive it is. We had a lot of changes in the company - owners changed. Last month I was offered a new position - which is quite challenging but at the same time I feel it could open some doors for me and I could learn many new things.

During one of the business trips last year (february) I met one man. He is foreigner with completely different background, we work for one company...we had a fair...I though it is just like this and I will forget him after my return. We were exchanging emails but then in one day he disappeared, I was quite desperate, as I crushed on him, but then I tried to put myself in order and to forget him, but after some time I started to see some mystical signs. I can not explain in details, but it is very annoying signs which all the time bring back memories of him. At first I thought the signs remind me to start to live my life and quit my destructive relatioships, or that it is only because I am in denyal period (if we refer to psychology), but ...I dont know...I still see them (for instance, I all the time pop up to people wearing clothes with his country flag and name. To be honest it is very distant country and not so popular, and the rare clothes of flags pop up to me - even one of my frieds experienced this "sign seeing"with me, told that she felt very strange:) ...)

Can you see something in my chart for this period? I really can not forget him, really. I've tried, but within a year, I failed to do it. I can not find the answers, maybe astrology can help?? I have to help myself !!!

 

3)Do I have a chance to meet decent partner (family and security is so much important to me)...I want a family, to share love with someone who would never harm me...never ever again ?????

 

Can you make some comments on all this??:ponder:

 

many thanks in advance!

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