Guest guest Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 Please accept my humble obeisance’s All glories to Srila Prabhupada. Thank you for reading this mental post, I would like to share this in this way as I often do not want to talk about this subject with the devotees as I don’t want to disturb them and be like some intellectual emotional so called mataji… The thing is that I am really unsure about my whole being, I know that I need to be humble and serve where ever I can, but the thing is that when I am with devotees I am so unsure …I really find myself disgusting, so many bad thoughts such a ugly face..etc…okay I will ceep it short, but because of this I have no energy to serve properly and engage my mind fully in KC…..you can have a huge self-esteem and looking the whole day in mirror thinking about your body too much , or you can puke on yourself and not thinking about Krishna but about how much you dislike yourself and feeling ashamed…than you are also thinking about your body too much …. While I am writing this I feel so spoiled In Iran they are people dying and I am talking about my lowselfesteem, but is really disturbing my KC. Its that I am ashamed and even sometimes not dare to preach to others , because people will find me ugly or stupid and then they will think that the harekrishnas are all like me and then they do not want anything to do with it as I ruined the good visit card of ISKCON. I am praying to god that I will feel better in my body and more balanced so that I can serve better…and make spiritual development. (right now I have nothing to offer I can not sing or play an instrument, I can not cook so well and I am not so good in languages therefor the sanskrit I can not even say propebly, I am not a bookdistributer ....help what can I do for the benefit of Prabhuapada???) How to be a better devotee and hoh to help others. I noticed that my friends how have no problems about there look and being are having so much more energy and can work so much harder for Krishna, I would like to have that same spirit I am trying but I feel so confronted every day again and again … Please is there someone who understands this and how can give me some adivice ...maybe I need to be harder for myself and kick this woman mind ??? I am really getting WAY T000O MENTAL ?? Much love from an Dutch karmi girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2004 Report Share Posted January 28, 2004 Hare Krishna! All glories to Srila Prabhupada!I offer my obesiances unto him! Please mataji, dont lament. I can to some extent understand what you go through. Everyone is like this. No one is extraordinary. You are one of those rare souls who want to elevate in KC. You are very fortunate and blessed. Probably Krishna and Srila Prabhupada likes you. Please dont feel bad. You are absolutely normal. I feel the same when I enter a Krishna temple. I feel dirty and not good. But what can we do?Leave everything to Krishna and sure He will protect us. Dont try too hard to do anything. Just be yourself and always think Krishna will protect you from anything and He knows your welfare. So if you do something, think it as Krishna's will and proceed. Do the best you can and please do not compare. Every person has his/her capacity.so it is ok.I really mean it. You are humble to claim your mistakes. How many people do that?In many experience very little. SO in my book, I have high esteem for you.Simply chanting His glorious name is sufficient. The rest He will take care. All glories to Srila Prabhupada! Haribol! anand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haribol Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 Haribol, Well I deduce one thing from your post. One with so much desire for KC can in no way be not beautiful. So you should immediately stop thinking about yourself to that effect. If all of us souls are the same then how can some be more beautiful/ ugly than the rest? Understand that you are not the body so it should in no way dissuade from your KC endeavor. There are materialistic people who judge people on the basis of their looks etc. But for devotees of Krishna all souls/ His creations are beautiful. You say that you are not letting other devotees know about your mental anguish. But who can be more merciful than Krishna’s devotees? Therefore you should talk to them and let them know how you feel, so that they can help you out. Keep yourself devoted to Krishna and He shall surely help you out for He is all merciful and eager for your association. It is said that Krishna has everything He wants i.e. He is self sustaining, but then again He still desires something. And that is the love and devotion of His devotees. That is the highest service to Krishna. That is the most difficult part of KC, as per my understanding, and learning Sanskrit, knowing how to sing are only adjuncts. So do not despair and carry on with your chanting. He takes 10 steps for every step of yours, so be sincere in your efforts in KC and do not bother about materialistic feats. There are actually very few who understand Sanskrit in its entirety and it is Srila Prabhupadas mercy that we understand so many of the scriptures today. Very few can actually pronounce it well either, but understanding the text is more important than learning to quote it. Once you are sincere in your efforts Krishna starts helping you from His Paramatma (chaitya-guru) association with you. To give you an example given to me by one of the devotees, there is a person in one of the temples here who did not know how to read, but was sincere in his endeavors i.e. chanting and helping other devotes with daily tasks. In two years he can quote, explain and preach many of the spiritual texts. Such is Krishnas mercy. Also helping does not just mean book distribution or preaching, though that comes slowly. It can just be helping other devotees in their activities or cleaning the temple for example. All tasks carried out with Krishna in focus are service unto Him. Having said that I pray to Sri Krishna Chaitanya and Srila Prabhupada that they help you out in your efforts and request all those who read this post to do the same for our devotee friend here. Chant and be happy. Hare Krishna. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2004 Report Share Posted February 10, 2004 Hare Krishna, Identification with the body is inevietable at this stage, because we are not pure devotees, we are still under the influence of Maya. But keep focussing on Krihsna - whenever you feel down, pray to Krishna and focus on His mercy. You are lucky to have found the KC, and you are lucky that God has given you this determination to serve Him better - be happy for that. Let me be honest with you. I have bad eczema, and i feel the same way even now - that is why i joined KC - i felt i had been neglecting God. When i read Bhagavad Gita it struck me - one turns to God when one wants wealth, relief from distress or knowledge. I came to relieve distress about my eczema - but as i read on i realised how lovable and merciful Krsna is - I now truly feel that i am serving God not for material benefit - but for Him and Him only - the benefits that come from this are just bonuses. In fact, I now identify with the body less than i used to - and consequently my eczema is stabilising a bit... Your perception of your ugliness is false - u r beautiful and Krishna knows that which is why he has put this determintation in you to find and serve him better... U will notice that as you concentrate on Krsna, you will identify less with your material body - and your renounced quality will be picked up on by your associates - and there will be benefit from that... Haribol, Nimesh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 1, 2004 Report Share Posted April 1, 2004 Joel Osteen is a Christian pastor, he gives very interesting services that touch subjects from everyday's life. Visit website: www.lakewood.cc , them click on "Resources", then "Audio/Video" or "Joel Osteen Sermons" and find something interesting for you. your ever well wisher, Patrick (from Poland) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted July 29, 2004 Report Share Posted July 29, 2004 The thing is that I am really unsure about my whole being, I know that I need to be humble and serve where ever I can, but the thing is that when I am with devotees I am so unsure …I really find myself disgusting, so many bad thoughts such a ugly face..etc Haribol prabhu, Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. In your post I feel your pain. It is not easy to say exactly what is the problem from a post, and even here, a variety of possibilities arise. So I may mention more than one but not to think it is cast in iron. /images/graemlins/smile.gif These are just ideas and could be mistaken ones. First I'd have to ask if you have been like this all your life. If you have always found yourself disgusting, ugly or worry that you have more bad thoughts than anyone else, you may first want to look into that as a medical and/or psychological issue. Some that appear as psychological issues, aren't. They react like one, but are biological. For example, in ADD and ADHD, when the synapses don't quite connect, they cause a person to act out in varoius ways, or turn it inward, to get depressed, etc. Lately its been discovered that Tyrosine and flax seed oil (etc) have helped this conditation drastically because it makes the "connection" for the brain synapses. People with depression and even with migraines often have a problem with the synapses and their relationship to serotonin. So you see, what may appear psychological may not be. However if it is, that should be looked into as well. You'd be surprised tho what a good mineral pill and B vitamin complex could do! because of this I have no energy to serve properly This concerns me too, that there is more going on in the health areas than your spirutal life having problems, tho indeed it does stem over. All the more reason to get it checked out and treated, if necessary. you can have a huge self-esteem and looking the whole day in mirror thinking about your body too much , or you can puke on yourself and not thinking about Krishna but about how much you dislike yourself and feeling ashamed…than you are also thinking about your body too much …. Yes, either way is bodily concept, but also either way is extreme. Try not to go one extreme or the other, and try to hit it in the middle. Dont freak out if you think of your body too much or too little in the process cuz no one is perfect at it, but just take shelter that this can be a "gradual" process and dont try to rush yourself. Rushing can result in fall down. Just be who you are, whether you like who you are or not is not the issue, just be yourself and from that point only, can you make advancment anyway. So just relax and do what you can. /images/graemlins/smile.gif While I am writing this I feel so spoiled In Iran they are people dying and I am talking about my lowselfesteem, but is really disturbing my KC. While this is true, maybe you just need more engagement. If the mind is kept busy, it doesn't even have the time to think these varoius thoughts. Physical labor (toawrd God or guru, etc) appropriately balanced with study of shastra and chanting can sure keep one busy, if you want it to. Its that I am ashamed and even sometimes not dare to preach to others , because people will find me ugly or stupid and then they will think that the harekrishnas are all like me and then they do not want anything to do with it as I ruined the good visit card of ISKCON. You simply need to stop thinking of yourself so much. To think too much of yourself, even negative, is still putting a lot of energy and attention onto yourself. Hardly any devotee is perfect in behavior anyway, we all make mistakes, and should not use it as a excuse/reason to not preach. If someone doesn't like you, so what? You'll probalby never see them again. LOL Tho I do understand you dont want them to think poorly of the devotees and our movement. Just do your BEST, then detach from the results, good or bad, detach. Now if you are just untrained in preadching that is different and therefore should wait before going out into the world and preach. And its a rough thing to do, so should be blanced with some time back at the temple, etc., reading Krishna book or something blissful. And eating a litte maha. Again, balance! I am praying to god that I will feel better in my body and more balanced so that I can serve better…and make spiritual development. (right now I have nothing to offer I can not sing or play an instrument, I can not cook so well and I am not so good in languages therefor the sanskrit I can not even say propebly, I am not a bookdistributer ....help what can I do for the benefit of Prabhuapada???) No one has nothing to offer, you may just need to look around inside yourself to find it. Also by this question and your list, you appear to be young to me and so most when young aren't really sure what they can do yet. Also, its a time to get trained in something, not always to know all ready such things. Thats why its natural to go off to college, etc. However, it is better to go off to the temple if they would be willing to actively HELP you figure out what your talents are, and you DO have talents. But if they can't, there are many places online you can take skill tests for example, or try to find what your intersts are, then dovetail them in Krishna's service. How to be a better devotee and hoh to help others. I noticed that my friends how have no problems about there look and being are having so much more energy and can work so much harder for Krishna, I would like to have that same spirit I am trying but I feel so confronted every day again and again … Join the club. /images/graemlins/smile.gif Not everyone fits in the mold. I was never good at book distrubtion, tho I can cook a "basic" meal at home, I am no great cook. haha I have never done well in groups like working at the temple, and my stamina, even when young, was not as powerful as most, so while they were getting glorfied for hard work, well I was not looking for glorification but I surely was looked down on at times. But I do not lament and dont even care about that anymore. I would not mention it excpet maybe it will help you. Now I have my own online business and do some really cool thing in it. ha My nitch turned out to be more internal. I can write, I can do other things I rather not mention here (only cuz then everyone wants me to do this for them and I am so overwhemled with work now I just can't), etc. You are not a finished product yet, and your skills may be different from your friends! Give yourself credit, you may be a more creative person, an artist of one sort or another. This can be anything form the obvious (painting, drawing, molding clay, etc) to the less obvious (beading, sewing, making pottery, writing poetry/song lyrics/stories glorifying Krishna - including childrens books or comics, and other things I can't think of at the moment you maybe should look into). Dont close the door to the possibilities that can help the real you come out just cuz you dont fit the mold. You're not alone and like you, many just dont speak up about it so you have no idea really of how much compnay you have! Please is there someone who understands this and how can give me some adivice ...maybe I need to be harder for myself and kick this woman mind ??? I am really getting WAY T000O MENTAL ?? Much love from an Dutch karmi girl Well yeah, you've gotten way to mental about it. lol But you dont need to be even more hard on yourself, but LESS. Just see where being hard on yourself has lead! Lighten up. Learn to forgive yourself. I bet you would forgive anyone else who came to you with this problem, and want to reach out and help them, so learn to forgive yourself. Let go, then move on. And learn to laugh. We all have to laugh even at ourselves, and as we do, the pressure lifts. Our energies rise. We feel better and can move on. Its been scientifically proven that laughter can be significantly healing too. Kirshna has a sense of humor. When's the last time YOU laughed? /images/graemlins/smile.gif And maybe a few B vits cuz if for no other reason, you are increassing stress which in turn eats up B vits. Wishing you well. Hare Krishna. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted July 31, 2004 Report Share Posted July 31, 2004 Maybe this is coincidence (or not!) but today while reading, I bumped into this quote by Prabhuapda which in essence sums up and answers all of your (first posters) questions. /images/graemlins/smile.gif "So it does not require any high education, high birth, or great riches, or to become very beautiful. Nothing required. Beautiful or not beautiful, everyone can become Krsna conscious. There is no impediment. Educated or not educated, it doesn't matter. Rich or poor, it doesn't matter. Ahaituky apratihata. The devotional service, bhakti-yoga, is without any cause and without impediment. Ahaituky apratihata. And if we attain that stage, then yayatma suprasidati: then atma, the soul, will be fully satisfied. So it does not require much education, much wealth. From any status of life one can practice this, man-mana bhava mad-bhakto mad-yaji mam namaskuru [bg. 18.65], these four things only." ~ Bhagavad-gita 16.11-12 -- Hawaii, February 7, 1975 Clear, isn't it? /images/graemlins/smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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