Sunflower Posted September 12, 2004 Report Share Posted September 12, 2004 I am a neophyte, coming into Krishna consciousness only a few weeks ago. I've been chanting regularly, gradually adding to my total rounds each day, studying The Bhagavad gita and keeping prasadam. My coming to Krishna consciousness has helped me immensely and I am eternally grateful to Him for showing me His love & compassion. Having said all this, my husband, until recently has been supportive of my endeavor and while not ready to come to Krishna himself, has seen changes in me. He has said they are positive changes. When I reminded him I was going to the Temple tonight, he said OK and then proceeded to make dinner plans with his father for tonight. When I woke this morning, he told me he expects me to go to this dinner & that I can go to the Temple next week. I can't dishonor my husband, yet I'm hurt that he doesn't respect my wishes. I feel so very torn and lost. I love Lord Krishna, but love my husband as well. I know my love for my husband is in the physical world and love for Krishna is transcendental, all-encompassing and eternal, but for now I must live in this world with my husband. We have been married for almost 16 years and I am shocked, stunned and hurt beyond words at his disrespect. Please forgive me for any errors in expressing myself. Please help me!! Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 12, 2004 Report Share Posted September 12, 2004 u are both adults... it's different when u are dependent...i.e. a devotee son dependent on their parents for finances etc... if u are not dependent on him for finances etc, u should hold ur ground, and explain logically that he made the plans after acknowledging that u were going to the temple... if a big argument kicks off, then that is just maya attacking...if your relationship is meant to be, he will cool off afterwards... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2004 Report Share Posted September 13, 2004 I have been practicing Krishna Consciousness for a little over a year now and my Husband was and still is against it. He allows me to go to the temple and have a small alter in our room. Yet when I am leaving for the temple in a sari and tilak on, he says that he cannot even look at me "like that". He had issues with me only reading prabhupadas books and nothing else, and so i don't read in front of him anymore. I miss out on a lot of home programs and events, which I hate because those are so enlivening to me. The association with devotees is so essential, and when you don't have it, maya seems so much stronger. Krishna Consciousness has changed my life, for the better. Maybe one day my husband (and yours!) will see that this is really the better path in this life to follow. I just want you to know that you are not alone, and I know what you are going through. Let me know if you want to e-mail me. I would be happy to listen (or read!) if you need someone to talk to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2004 Report Share Posted September 13, 2004 I understand that it is difficult to commpromise when we want to do some things and the parner wants something else But plz understand that actually they r not against Krishna but they just feel insecure that they will loose the love n care that they expect from the partner.Therfore people try to see wherther we still care for them or not an in these situations intellegent thing to do is to do some compromises and make them feel that we r still the same and even better in our relationships n responsibility and woce u set the right example then they will automaticall be attracted to the process which as bought positive chsnge in their life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunflower Posted September 13, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2004 "I just want you to know that you are not alone, and I know what you are going through. Let me know if you want to e-mail me. I would be happy to listen (or read!) if you need someone to talk to." That would be wonderful! If you would PM me your e-mail address, I will reply and would love to share with you. Thanks to all of you from the bottom of my heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 I don't think Pm is activated under your screen name. The link is not active. See if you can fix it, otherwise I will figure out some way to get you my e-mail, other than posting it here. Thx! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 he is pretty against krishna. Sad to say but true. I agree that some of it is being afraid he will lose me, but he has to see that this makes me so much happier of a person, thus becoming a better mother and wife. It is just really difficult when your life partner is not supportive and is leading a life totally opposite of yours (intoxication, meat eating etc,,,) So, i think it is important to have someone who knows what you are dealing with everyday, and understands. It is really easy for someone outside of the situation (not you) to just say chant Hare Krishna and everything will be ok, but you need to be able to relate to someone else also. KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunflower Posted September 14, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 I can't figure out how to activate the PM. Does anyone have any idea or are we unable to PM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2004 Report Share Posted September 18, 2004 Don't be proud or don't even tell him but this is not Vedic society. You are not under the control of your husband in this case. Since you are the devotee and he is not you are actually in charge of your husband! Just keep this thought in the back of your mind and either your husband will eventually become a devotee or else you will just have to keep going on your own. It may take many,many years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 1, 2004 Report Share Posted November 1, 2004 No need to discuss KRISHNA ...HE is there in your mind ...and soul...just remember HIM whenever you are in distress...meditation will help ..close your eyes ..recite krishna .in your heart...HE will take away all your sorrows.. JAI SHREE KRISHNA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2004 Report Share Posted November 4, 2004 the spiritual master of origin is Krsna but also the guru is within Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2004 Report Share Posted November 10, 2004 Jai Shree Krishna, I'm pretty sure that in our culture a wife's first duty is towards her husband, whatever quality of individual he is. I believe the Ramayan makes this clear. Moreover, if you are serving your husband and doing your duty, you are showing love for Shri Krishna as a Karm-yogi. Of course, I don't know the specifics of the relationship - so do pardon my blunt answer. I was just providing an opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bhaktaneal Posted November 13, 2004 Report Share Posted November 13, 2004 Hari bol! Sunflower, I can relate. My wife, in the beginning, felt threatened by my interest in becoming a devotee. I think she feared that I would leave her and run off to become a monk, or that I would live like a monk at home and deny her affection. Years later now, she appreciates alot about KC, and has love for Krsna, but involvement with the temple is not really her thing. As well, out of respet for her, I try not to be overbearing about KC and keep alot of my practices personal and do them on my time. She has come around alot though, simply by demonstrating over the years, and sadly it has taken years, that I am not leaving her or denying her, infact I think I have become a better husband. She likes to cook for Krsna and offer the food... She likes the paraphenalia, art, murtis, etc... and stays weary of any reference to women being lesser than, etc...but still hates it if I wear dhoti or tilaka. I pray that in time your husband becomes more tolerant of your devotional practice. Krsna is the ultimate attraction, and your husband is destined to become more and more attracted, over time. I hope I have not spoken out of turn. Your post reminds me of my marriage in many ways. I hope you are in great health and are happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2004 Report Share Posted December 7, 2004 Hare Krishna Mataji What you have to know that assocation is so important seek advice from a bonafide spirtual master.If you become KC your husband will not be able to assocatie with you liked minded people will be togrther.hare krishna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.