question about premarital sex

[Guest guest]

Hello everybody.

 

My family comes from India.I was raised as a Hindu. I would not say that i am the best hindu out there..But I believe in Krishna/Rama/Shiva. I have never had meat or used leather. I also dont eat food on Mondays cause of Shiva and many other days

 

My Boy Friend (who i been seeing for one year) on other hand is a white from Europe. He comes from a catholic family but he dont believe in any God. He respects a lot about history and different cultures thats why he have read Bhagavad gita. And knows almost everything about Hindu religion. Its just that he dont believe in anything. He eats meat. But not infrount of me casue he knows i hate meat smell. He dont plan to stop eating meat any time soon. But i dont wanna change him cause I love him alot. I love everything about him (other than him eating meat).

 

Now there is a new issue which is since he is very liberal and atheist..he dont see anything wrong with premarital sex. First 8-9 months in our relationship we never talked about sex at all. cause i think he knew i would be against it. we were just spening alot of time taking, getting to know each other. Then Later He started mentioning sex some. sometimes i think it should be ok for me to have sex with him now since we both know each other how much we love each other.

 

BUT my question is ...is premarital sex a sin??? or if you really love the person then its ok?

 

me and my boyfriend knows that one day we will get married its just not right now cause we are still in colleges and too young for marriage.

SO is it ok to have premarital sex? if not why?

[Guest guest]

"BUT my question is ...is premarital sex a sin??? or if you really love the person then its ok?"

Yes, premarital sex is a sin. Why? because it's against vedic scipritures actually to my understanding none of the bonafide religions allows premarital sex.

The second part of your question "if you really love the person then its ok?"

NO it's not O.K. If you really love each other and can't control your sexual urges then the best thing for both of you to get married. I understand this sex desire is very difficult to control but one can control it by engaging herself/himself into devotional service of the Supreme Lord.

If possible try to chant this Hare Krishna Maha Mantra at least once evey day. I assure you it will help and make you life sublime.

 

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishan Hare Hare

Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Thanks

Hare Krishna

[Guest guest]

I meant one round meaning 108 times

Thanks

[Guest guest]

Your relationship is simply based on lust and not real love and it will also be temporary, as most relationshsips end with a divorce. So don't fool yourself, it's not love but lust.

 

Premarital sex is a great sin, which will result in both of you taking birth in the animal kingdom for millions of births. Also since he is an atheist and you are with him. Anyone who supports an atheist is worst than the atheist.

 

Anyone who eats, kills, serves, watches, cooks, and allows meat in the house is no different than the one who killed the animal.

 

Read description of life in hell:

www.gitamrta.org/hell.htm

 

[Guest guest]

Dear guest, you asked:"So is it ok to have premarital sex? if not why?"

 

According to the vedic culture trying to enjoy, in any way, indipendently from the pleasure of the Lord, is meant to bring failure in our attempt to be happy.

 

The only sexual activity which is in union with the service and pleasure of the Supreme Entity, Bhagavan Shri Krishna, is the one done for the purpose of calling souls to appear in the family as children in order to educate them how to be servants of Him, freeing them like this from the cycle of samsara.

 

Try to remember that you are nor really a female, neither your so called fiancè is a male. You are both spirit souls and temporarily have entered in this human form. The purpose of this life of yours is elevating your consciousness in the state of God or Krishna consiousness and becoming free from bodily designation which is the cause of all suffering. Unfortunately unauthorized sexual activity is the most dentrimental to both these goals: realizing we are not enjoyers of this world ( maya ) but meant to be enjoyed by the Lord and we are not these bodies but eternal spirit souls.

 

Therefore every wise person has to try to protect one's self from such dangerous involvements like sexual activity meant for enjoyment. Allowing falling victim to the demands of the lower nature means expecting being abused by the one that you think he loves you, because he will see you and use you more as a body meant for his sexual apetite and not as a soul belonging to God, meant to be protected, served and taken care on His behalf. He will probably loose soon appreciation for you and the relation, meant for cooperating for reciprocal spiritual advancement will be source od pain, damage and disappointment for both, as it often happens to relations not based in the service of the higher principles.

 

Remember that the result of just a little sexual pleasure, mixed with many embarassements and risks, can be unwanted pregnancy, abominable abortion, infection with diseases, and a lot of psycological pain, mainly for having betrayed your relation with God and your spiritual interests!

 

So at least in theory you should know that in this life time you should reach this platform of using the genitals only for the cause that were given from nature: procreation!

 

But if you can not come to this stage immediately, then put it as a goal to achieve gradually in this life of yours, this much valuable human life, not meant to be used like that of the animals, simply for eating, sleeping and mating!

 

It is difficult but neccessary!

 

You may try to convince the future father of your children that could be good to together try to see each other as spirit souls and not as mere bodies.

Ask him, if he would like to see his future daughter being used as a simple instrument of sexual bodily pleasure by some one not caring for her spiritual development and real happiness!

 

He should learn to see you firstly as property of the Lord, as a aoul, a mother and not just as a female body! This vision, if will prevail, will ruin everything!

The catholic religion also teaches similarly in regards to sex. Do not think these teachings are there just for some dogmatic or fanatical traditional reasons, they are meant for your benefit, present and future!

Be wise, restrain yourselves for future permanent benefit! Listen to the sages!

 

I hope this helps, good luck! Hare Krishna!

[kcp1982]

Hare Krishna.

 

Being a Hindu, one should know that premarital sex is a great sin. Since you are bewildered by lust, you cannot see that.

 

As this age of ignorance and irreligion progresses, people are falling into darkness. The result of which is hellish life right here on this planet.

 

 

[Guest guest]

i cant really help in sex beofore marrige question. since i dont know much about that topic

 

but i have my own question here. My grandfather is a Big believer of Krishna. He lives in city where Krishna was Born. Last year when I went to india He took me to Every Krishna temple in that city. It was a veryy beautiful city. anyway...i asked my Grandfather if Radha was Krishna's wife. My grandfather said they were not husband and wife. I did not ask him anything else. But left thinking may be having relationship before marrige is not a sin. i am very confuse.

[jagatpurush]

the conjugal affairs of the Lord are different than human affairs because they are on the platform of prema, or pure love.

 

Srila Prabhupada: The love between Radha and Krsna, it is called parakiya. They are not married husband and wife. But Radharani appears to be wife of some other gentleman. But Krsna, from childhood, They were friends. So Radharani could not forget Krsna. She used to come to Krsna and stand like that. That's all. And He was playing. Kisora-Kisori, They were boy and girl. But there is no inebriety. Just like here the boy and girls mix and there are so many abominable things. Distressful, which is binding their material bondage. So that friendship between boy and girl is there, but without inebriety. Krsna had so many gopis, girlfriend, but there was no contraceptive pills. (laughter) That is the beauty. Here, the so-called love is lust. And there, that is the highest. The same thing, obverted, perverted reflection. Just like in the original tree the topmost part has come down to the down. Similarly, in the spiritual world the highest, topmost level of love, parakiya... Parakiya means love not by marriage life, by friendship. That is there. But there is no such inebriety. It is pure. So perverted means the topmost thing has come down to the lowest. Here, this parakiya, loving other's wife or other's husband, is most abominable, adultery. Not allowed by society, not allowed by the state. But tendency is there. Even one is married, he wants to love another's wife. Or if the girl married (s)he wants to love another husband. Why? That is there. But without inebriety. That is the beauty. So everything is there, but here, that thing is reflected, pervertedly. Therefore misunderstood."

[jagatpurush]

>Your relationship is simply based on lust and not real love and it will also be temporary, as most relationshsips end with a divorce. So don't fool yourself, it's not love but lust.

 

yes it's true. you may not know it but you could have just as easily fallen in love with another person you were attracted to. in which case you should probably drop this guy and find someone who has more elevated qualities.

[Guest guest]

If Krishna does it then it is love if we do it it is perverted...This aspect will and shall never gel with any materialistic person because in this age of kali every one wants to be god.Even people in India are getting cynical by thinking that they know everything but they are all mudhas or fools.

 

[Guest guest]

*huge sigh*

 

Marriage is a legal contract and completely within the material world. love, however, exists throughout the unfathomable dimensions of creation. Therefore, a marriage contract has no authority or validity whatsoever in the kingdom of Heaven. Judge your actions solely on love. If a couple is married without love, sex between the married couple would be "sinful." If two individuals are devoted for life and share love together, this is a righteous act which is very rare in this material world. The mere presence of a legal document claiming two individuals are married has no bearing in the eyes of the Lord.

 

I will add that the laws of man (this includes the perfunctory book quotes that we spit out whenever we are asked a question to justify our answers which we have doubtless not given a whole lot of thought to) are simply intended to guide us on the right path. saying "Yes this is wrong because of this quote" is not an answer.

[Guest guest]

"He dont plan to stop eating meat any time soon. But i dont wanna change him cause I love him alot."

 

If you really love him you SHOULD want to make him stop eating meat, because you know he is condemning himself to a hellish existance. He doesn't know because he resides in ignorance, and is engaging himself in a downward spiral by atheistic practise and meateating.

 

Your boyfriend may have superficially read some of the Vedic literature and perhaps know the "why" to some rituals, but if he doesn't take the knowledge to heart and act on it, nothing is gained from it except that he may have spoken the names of God once in a while, which is always beneficial no matter how. To be honest, if you are a sincere believer, or aspire to become one, I can only see problems arising from this relationship. Personally, I would first address these problems before even contemplating any sort of sex issues.

Think about it, by letting yourself in with his demonic customs and malpractices, the consequences will be severe for the both of you, is he worth that? Or will you try talking some sense into him and have him give up his ways, and if that fails, well.... So first choose; would you have it his way or yours? You said you weren't the best Hindu out there, so here's your chance to be a wise one.

[Guest guest]

I've read in bakthi marga, the order of relationships in asending order are as here parent-child, friends, married, fiance.

 

I think fiance is held high as it's relationship of no conditionality.

 

Do not look at sex or marriage as an equation, right or wrong, etc. Sex is an expression of your body towards love. Place your love way above that. What do you say.

[Guest guest]

All glories to Srila Prabhupada

 

Premarital sex is a BIG SIN, ur friends will call you names, why care? In kali Yug, 99% people are degraded, so why do you wanna be ONE?

 

Tell ur boyfriend that u love him for what he is, not HIS BODY. Most guys LOVE the GIRL'S BODY, not the girl, have u not seen why men flip for girls with good looks only? Its all in our mind.

 

Maybe, u'd hate to make him change his ways, but think of this.. u marry him and then can u avoid cooking meat for him. of course not. Why put urself into further trouble in HELL?

 

I'm a KC devotee, married for 1 yr, me and my boyfriend who is now my husband had a short affair after which we married. Not once did we indulge in sex, even after engagement, no. Not even after the first few months of marriage.

 

We are so busy with our 16 rounds, Srila Prabhupada's books, temple programs and our jobs, that we do not give sex its importance. Actually, as you get higher, u'll discover that sex is like a drop of water in a huge desert.

 

I hope u make ur boyfriend change his ways, if he really loved u, he wud abstain from meat, got to church often and be a caring husband. Why not test him? You'll know what his real feelings are for you. All the best.

[Guest guest]

There are different standards,like in Bhagavad Gita,if you can not do that do that,...I think if someone have sex sometimes(not for procreation) it is not the best standards,but if one can be faithfull and devoted to his partner,then it is still honorable relation, it is good if they have common vision that sex is not the goal of life,but Krishna is and that they want to get spiritual uplifted,beyond the bodily platform,we should encourage that spitit if someone is not yet up to standard.We know what the standards are,but we should encourage everyone to get elevated and not with some dogmatic fanatism,but with inspiring each other to come up to purer Krishna counsciousness.We might have some attraction to sex but we should not get fright with it,rather we should go on with chanting Hare Krishna and get gradualy elevated.Very rare are souls who can immediately take the process 100%,will we scare them with telling them about hell and inspire them like that.This is nonsence,people will think that we are fanatics,ofcourse we should warn others about the danger of sinfull life,but then we should encourage them.

[vishu_10d]

Now I can understand that premarital in Hindu Religion is treated as Sin. But anybody please tell, which Hindu scriptures exactly says that it is a Sin. my second question is, if it is a Sin then what should be done to clear it....

[hinduism♥krishna]

Now I can understand that premarital in Hindu Religion is treated as Sin. But anybody please tell, which Hindu scriptures exactly says that it is a Sin. my second question is, if it is a Sin then what should be done to clear it....

in hinduism sex outside a marriage is great sin. all hindu scriptures say it is door to the hell. According to Hinduism, every human being is composed of three gunas or qualities called Sattva, Rajas and Tamas. These three qualities combine in different ways in different people and in such combinations, dominance of the quality Rajas impel people to indulge in certain types of actions that are harmful. In world wide famous hindus Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna says that “lust(premarital sex), anger and greed” ruin men and they must shun them [bhagavad Gita XVI. 21] and also “it is lust and anger springing from Rajas….are the enemies of man in this world and it is the door to the hell” [bhagavad Gita III.37]. Following are generally accepted pañca mahāpātakas or five heinous sins though there may be differences in certain regions and times: theft, liquor consumption, murder [especially of a Brahmin], violation of the preceptor’s bed and association with the perpetrators of the four sins before mentioned [Chandogya Upanishad V. 10. 9]. Many people replace the fourth one with abortion or bhrūṇahati and some replace the last one with govadha or killing of a cow. Numerous classifications exist in the Hindu sacred literature on the types of sins and expiations required to redeem one self. Generally two are well known: Mahāpātakas [mortal sins] and Upapātakas [minor sins]. A few important mahāpātakas, upapātakas and prāyascittas are given below. It is almost impossible to deal with all of them as the list is exhaustive and those who are interested in knowing more or for particular sins or expiations can refer to numerous books that deal with pātakas and prāyascittas.below are the mortal sins: Sexual DeviationsFollowing sexual actions / intentions are considered as sins:sex outside marriage is considered as a big sin. he will run here and there in the darkness of material world. Guruvaṅganāgama or having sexual intercourse with the wife of one’s Guru or preceptor is considered as sinful activity.Incest or having sex with one’s own family, that is, with the father or mother or brother or sister is considered as a sin. Some of the scriptures also include sex with sisters or brothers of mother or father and their children as one of the pātakas though there are numerous variations on this, differing from region to region.Sex with animals is considered sinful. Hatyā or VadhaHatyā or Vadha denotes killing a human being. This is considered the most heinous of all the mahāpātakas or grave or mortal sins mentioned in the Hindu śāstras. According to Hindu traditions, no human being has got any right to take away another life, leave alone human being. Whether a person kills another directly or induces somebody to kill or abets in killing or offers the protection to persons or a person who kill(s) a human being or turns away when the actual killing takes place, he/she is guilty of committing the sin of killing another. In the Hindu scriptures several prominent types of killing are discussed and few prominent ones are:Brahma HatyāKilling of a Brāhmana is considered a sin in all the Hindu scriptures. This has led to some controversy because killing of other human beings are placed under minor sins, while killing of a Brāhmana is considered as a mortal or grave sin. In the Hindu śāstras, a Brāhmana is accorded supreme place over other people because of the kind of life he leads and also the sacrifices he does, and for his character and conduct. There is also a question whether killing of a Brāhmana can be considered as a sin, if that Brāhmana himself is attacking another grievously. Mitākshara concludes that if a Brāhmana comes as a ātatāyin [that is if he comes with the intention to do one of the following: as incendiary, to poison, to kill, to grab the land, or to kidnap the woman], then killing of that Brāhmana in self-defense is not considered as sin [Mitaakshara II. 21].Bhrūna HatyāKilling of foetus or abortion is also considered sinful. Though not born, the embryo under development is also considered as a life and hence no one is considered to have any right to terminate the coming of a jiva or individual self to life. The couple who request for abortion, the persons who conduct or even assist in such an action are treated as sinners. If anyone resorts to abortion without any plausible reason except to continue the enjoyment of pleasures are considered as lowly and fallen.Śiśu HatyāAccording to Hindu culture and religion, children below the age of twelve are exempted from punishment for all wrong doings, whether done wilfully or ignorantly. Killing of such innocent children deliberately or otherwise is looked down upon in Hindu society.Go HatyāMany people consider killing of a cow as equal to killing a Brahmin and very sinful. In Hindu traditions, cows are worshipped as they are believed to be repositories of all gods.PānaDrinking of intoxicating liquor and other such stuff are prohibited in Hindu religion. Whether prepared from molasses or flour or from flowers, all intoxicating liquid are prohibited as they are perceived to damage the mind and the body of the individual. They cause loss of mental balance in a person and in turn lead him/her to more vices and all of them destroy a person and also cause great disturbance to society at large. Liquor is seen as damaging finer sensitivities of an individual and act as a great impediment to one’s spiritual progress. Hence the śāstras highly recommend that one should stay away from alcohol.TheftDepriving someone of his/her property and wealth, whether in small quantity or large, either directly or clandestinely or indirectly is considered as one of the grave sins in Hindu scriptures. Robbing poor people and Brahmins is one of the grave sins according to all the scriptures. Saṅgha or AssociationMāhāpātakisaṁsarga or association with one who is committing mortal sins in itself is considered as a heinous crime and mortal sin. Such associations are perceived to corrupt one’s mind and are thought of to be highly degrading in the long run as long associations are bound to draw the negative qualities from either side.Upapātakas and PrāyascittaSome scriptures include gambling, telling lies, reviling Vedas, adultery by couple, destroying what belongs to another or public as sins and the list is long. Those who are interested can go through books like Prāyascitta Viveka, Yājñavalkya Smrti and Manu Smrti.vedas instruct us not to have sex except at the time of begetting son.vedas are final truth. hindus accept it as it is.in bhagavatam canto 3rd there is a description of bramha giving birth to the demons who r very lustful and wants to enjoy sex. lust and enjoy sex are the characters of demons. so v shoul avoid it.in bhavishya purans christians and Muslims are calked as demons. lord has created them to destroy vedic dharma to increase the effects of kaliyuga. Christ was the avatar of dhruva and mohammad was a demon. so i advise u to stay away from them. devotees should b with pios sacred saints like lord prabhupada.so in hinduism the rule is very strict that sex is only allowed in marriage and its also for begetting sons.cleared.श्री हरी हरी हरी ॐfor hindu devotees of lord krishna even thinking of sex is a great sin.