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Tricky dillema...

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Hi,

 

Ok, the thing is over the past few years I've become aware of spirituality and (Krsna Consciousness) all things related to it. As a result I've also become aware of my own ignorance and I've made progress in sorting many of my worldly issues out.

 

Now the thing is my parents want me to get married but because Kali Yuga happens every day in my house (with my dad getting angry at me all the time - can never seem to please him) and arguments happening at the drop of a hat I've come to the point of not ever wanting to get married and dragging someone else into this hellish situation.

 

I know running away is the right answer and neither is using aggression. Dad does not like communicating on a controlled level -he likes shouting. He is also obsessesd with cleaning and always wants to try and control you like a dog.

 

I know that I must not act cowardly and runaway but I also know that I should also have a sense of freedom (which I do not feel I have). I guess this situation has arisen as a result of past misdeeds and so I must bear the suffering now. The thing is I don't want any one else to go thru the same as I have (especially if it's a girl from India).

 

What should I do?

 

 

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why blaming past deeds? is running away always a cowardice? why? because others think so? sometimes it is the only way to find out who we are and to see things as they are. when you are outside the situation you can see it as an animal behind bars. you watch it but nothing can harm you. sometimes we are not really prepared or willing to go away and therefore we like to call it escape and consider cowardice. mind is a powerful device. do what you FEEL.

 

best wishes

TS

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Hare Krishna.

 

If you are badly treated in your home then you have to move out but not too far and still visit your parents every week.

 

This way you will have peace and keep in contact with your parents. It's ideal to stay with your parents, but if they mis-treat you then you have no choice but to move out.

 

After some time if they change then move back in.

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First realise the two points below:

1.

By Just by learning the samskaras, god/demigod positionings of vaishnavism, announcing that you accept all of the different rankings of the gods and the name of the god you/vaishnavas consider most supreme, seeking endorsement of a ritualistic guru...etc once does not help attain spirituality.

 

2.

Talking about marriage with parents can be an extremely stressful experience as it gets combined with social pressure.

 

Do three things (1) Accept the above (2) be patient (3) expect no solution from both of the above either through more rituals or more discussions with parents.

 

If you are keen about getting married, continue looking forward to your girl. Be ready to go for it when the chemistry strikes, for which you might want to keep yourself relaxed.

 

You have noble intentions that you don't intend a girl to be dragged into an undersireable situation. Remember, when the chemistry strikes, it's to be both ways (from her too), so stay unworried. Chill.

 

Also believe your parents don't need you to be married to be pleased & happy. They actually need nothing from you, as they are already pleased (you can't tell it from their moods). Your parents may be caught in their own social pressures of your marriage. It's usually a kind of pressure which can be avoided by learning to talk without undue commitments, but many a parents are not so skilled. Now you stop getting stressed along with them, by worrying about pleasing them. Well, given the limited skills of facing social pressures, your parents will only blame you ( as if the whole society would have been pleased & fallen at their feet had you said a yes to a girl of their choice).

 

Try doing some social service and you might meet some nice and relaxed people.

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HK!PAMHO!AGTSP!

Social service will not help. Pray to RadhaKrsna for help. They will surely help you out of this mess!

All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

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I agree with the person that said move out. This will break your father's controlling feeling. Keep a constant awareness of mind. Contemplate on the source of your emotions. Do not blame anyone. Remember All men are forced to act by the impulses born of material nature and no one should think himself the doer not even for a moment.

 

See things for what they are. Do not let them linger in your mind. Cultivate devotion.

 

 

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