A real modern dillema ...

[Guest guest]

I have a friend who is part of a "Vaisnava" Sampradaya (emphasis on the quote marks) - NOT the Gaudiya Krsna type though. If you guessed which one it is- you'd probably get it right!

 

Now the situation is we have known other for 5-6 years now and have always had various discussions relating to God etc.

 

I've always known of his spiritual practice and that he goes to his mandir on weekends and special occasions to help out and give education and speeches to young people.

 

He has been successful in his education and also in getting a good job and so have I, though maybe not my job but am still working on that side.

 

By the way I am not a Vaishnav but have a favourable view towards Krsna consciousness and REAL Vaisnava codes of conduct - as mentioned in Bhagavat Gita, Srimad Bhagavatam, and Krsna Cons. literature.

 

Now the situation is this:

 

Recently my friend due to him getting this job that pays good money he has started to do things that are averse to Vaisnava codes and conduct. A self centred approach to life has began to insue where he wittingle manipulates situations so that he can gain advantage (either over people or the circumstances) for his own sense gratification purposes.

 

Specific examples include:

He will go to his mandir to his duties and behave as per humble mandir behaviour - do dandvat obessiesnces, give talks on religion, spirituality, dos and donts and then about a day later or on weekends he will aim to go to bars and clubbing to meet girls so that he can get the most 'essency and beautiful' girl so that he can be 'on levels' with her - for marriage, etc.

 

Other things that have been getting on my wick are things like:

 

-manipulating people with words so he can gain advantage in any situation (this works on a subtle level and I've noticed how it's done)

 

- talking about religion without reference to authority

one rule applies to other people but not to him

 

- he himself doesn't practice what he preaches and yet he preaches to others

 

- he lies to people about his activities so he can gain advantage with people -especially where girls are involved.

 

-talks disrespectfully to people and is judgemental about different people and makes them feel awkward about their state of affairs- (in essence implying to people to be more like him and fantastic)

 

-he like to bolst his own ego by stating his own greatness -that how he has achieved it.

 

-he has power trips because he thinks he is gifted and intelligent and others are just wasting their lives (I will admit he has many favourable qualities).

 

-he talks about himself like he is some kind of great person and thinks of others who disagree with his views as enemies or inferior or even a threat to his situation.

 

-he glorifies the activities of his mandir but does things averse to mandir activities outside the mandir

 

-he is tight on money especially when paying, usually you get ripped off or dont get the correct money back

 

- he also talks down to me (though I am older than him) thinking cos he goes Mandir he is allowed to do that. Recently he asked me to go clubbing with him (several times in fact) but then he actually inavertantly revealed to me that he just needs to be seen as if has a mate with him so that he can 'chirps the birds' (that basically made me feel like he was using me and there was no feeling of friendship there).

 

The manipulation of people is happening with this person. I and another close friend of mine can see this happening but others who meet him cannot see what is going on and they end up falling for his tricks.

 

He generally puts on a different act with different people so that he can get them to behave how he wants them to.

 

He also decieves people, lies to people but behaves like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. He also creates confusion in peoples minds by stating very obvious truths (in Srila Prabhudasa's words -dry philosophical speculation)

to get people interested in his words (even talks about God etc). but then makes people feel uneasy about their own views, beliefs and ideas so that he can gain a favourable advantage in any topic of discussion so that he comes out strong and others weak - this makes people think that they can believe in his views and ideas on life. (he also admitted recently to me that he does this for fun sometimes so that he can get his kicks - he told me a few examples of this and how he did this recently).

 

I think this is very dangerous -especially if the person is impressionable and has weak beliefs or doesn't understand what his or her beliefs are. Or doesnt have a controlled way of directing his/her energy.

 

It has got to a point where I dont enjoy being in his company because I can feel mental manipulation is happening even on a friendship level though when I think of Krsna I feel in control and find a way of distancing myself from him.

 

He has a wide and varied knowledge but with people he will do as he pleases.

 

I am aware that we are in the Kali Yuga. I personally don't like chastising people or telling people their faults (since aversion to faultfinding is mentioned in the Bhagavat Gita).

 

The other thing is that we train together and have the same instructor so we have to meet during the week whether I like it or not.

 

Many times I feel angry about him making impressions on people with an immature fund of knowledge and intelligence.

I feel like exposing him for what he really is to his mandir people who hopefully can take action (in fact I dont they can either because of what they generally follow - its like the blind leading the blind!)

 

I feel like exposing this person to his mandir or other people who he holds dear (his parents are too easy going to dicipline him) and I also want to distance myself without doing harm to anyone.

 

Please advise me on this matter.

[Guest guest]

How about sending all that to him.

[Guest guest]

if there are any saints at the mandir then tell them to speak to him. He will probably respect their words more than yours or anyone elses and they will give him correct advise.

[Guest guest]

The above suggestions are interesting, though I have already considered both these possibilities.

 

The reason I don't want to be around this person is because I don't want to be in hate of him because that would bring me to his level. I also don't feel like he is a well wisher towards others since he lands people in either difficult situations or uses their time to get into an advantageous position and aquisition of material comforts regardless of the consequences to others.

 

If so called mandir people want to be ignorant to the Real Truth (like Lord Rama and Krsna) then i feel the need to be ignorant of the ignorant.

 

This person raises the stakes with different people and colours things to his liking. I feel that if he does have a say in things it could spell trouble for younger people that he has been influencing. This is quite a serious issue and I feel people shouldn't be manipulated or given discordant or aversive knowledge especially in a mandir type environment - even if it not a Rama Krsna one and especially when dealing with knowledge relating to the absolute truth.

 

He is a person that doesn't really take advice from anyone (though he may appear to - even though coming from a saint of the mandir). My worry is that too many people will believe in this person and he will end up ripping them off either financially or just to get his things done and live like a hedonist at the expense of other peoples efforts.

 

I know I come across quite strong - but all this has also been noticed by many other people I know that know of him also. It is frustrating to see this happening in my face everytime I happen to meet with my friends and others - whilst they fall head first into his plans.

 

I am looking for poignant methods of dealing with this. It would be nice to get some references from the Krsna literature since mundane speculative knowledge is of no real value in this situation - I am talking about REAL knowledge as per argued by Srila Prabhudasa and discussions presented in Jaiva Dharma by AC Vinod Thakura and other Krsna literature - since only this can blast though a persons false ego.

 

This situation is no joke - it's real and it is happening.