livingentity Posted September 6, 2003 Report Share Posted September 6, 2003 if you are truly feeling that badly about yourself. Ask your school counselor if they can suggest someone for you. I am being serious (if you are). You have lost your mother at a young age and I understand this more than you will ever know as I started losing my loved ones when I was nine. This is affecting every aspect of your life and you need to get a handle on it now. I do not know how old you are - I can only assume that you are in high school so you are a teen. Body image is difficult at that time and if you think you do not look like everyone else does to you then you feel ugly. But you can do what lots of famous rock, movie and tv stars do with their looks. They are not all perfect and beautiful but they learn to use their perceived imperfections to their advantage and create their own unique images ie Barbra Streisand, Steve Tyler just to name two. Attitude can do more for you than looks. Find a counselor that can help you develop your self esteem. ok, want a good laugh - let's talk ugly. Picture a teenage girl with wild outta control frizzy hair, big giant buck teeth, big around as a pencil all skinny legs and arms. Well, this living entity did not do real well in the dating circle in school as you can well imagine. I am no great beauty still although I did learn to deal with my hair, got braces and gained some weight but time helps and I developed the attitude of "This is it and you don't like it - then oh well." Hope I didn't scare anyone and you can sleep tonight after hearing that description!! /images/graemlins/crazy.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted September 6, 2003 Report Share Posted September 6, 2003 im not pranking anyone, I try to change my way, but as soones I see some light, it gets destroyed by the shallow people in this country. Well, ok then, but if you want help, you must reciprocate and post answers to the people who give you advice. Otherwise, how is anyone to know you are not pulling a prank if you post, then never reply? So, if you are willing to do reply, there are many wonderful devotees on this forum who are more than happy to help you, but you must get involved. So far, both myself and living entity have given you good ideas, and this is the next step. If you want change, you cant reject every single idea. You have to take action. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted September 6, 2003 Report Share Posted September 6, 2003 Hope I didn't scare anyone and you can sleep tonight after hearing that description!! LOL LOL LOL Good one. You didn't scare me LE. I looked so weird as a teenager! You are more brave than I am cuz I wont even give my description! ha But later, that changed, as it did with you too. Which is why I'm telling him not to evalute his looks at this point in his life, because there are many loooooooooooooong awkward teenage years of the body developing and moving and altering all around, until it finally becomes an adult. And I agree with you, just look at what those movie stars and rock stars do! Some of them are ugly or close to it, yet they work with it. Tho also, just cuz they have (or are suppose to have) a unique personality, most don't care about their looks anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingentity Posted September 6, 2003 Report Share Posted September 6, 2003 I look at some of my old pictures and I can't believe my family didn't hide me in the basement!!! /images/graemlins/shocked.gif Some of those stars are butt ugly!! But what they lack in looks they make up for in personality or style. They learn to work with it to their advantage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingentity Posted September 6, 2003 Report Share Posted September 6, 2003 believe only about 25% of what the other guys say and then take that 25% with a grain of salt. If you think you are the only one in your whole school without a girlfriend then the other guys have succeeded in fooling you. Trust me - teen boys will say anything to make the other guys think they are cooler than anyone else and can get all the girls (or got all the girls!! /images/graemlins/wink.gif ) There are other kids walking around that school feeling just as awkward as you feel - they have just learned the art of hiding it. That is the secret of their success. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avinash Posted September 6, 2003 Report Share Posted September 6, 2003 Priitaa dd ji, Even though she is earning, it seems that she does not think that she can take care of herself. As she has herself told me, her salary is far less than that of her husband. She has explicitly mentioned that she cannot take care of herself. Her technical knowledge is so poor that she cannot expect to make a good career unless she upgrades her knowledge significantly. In this firm, she is in training period and therefore still not confirmed. I have told her that she must meet some marriage counsellor. I also told her that she must take her career very seriously. This will give her more confidence and it may even make her husband give respect to her. If she falls out of marriage, then she will be able to take care of herself. I am keeping our relation completely professional. I always help her whenever she comes to me with any technical problems related to her work. But I have very clearly mentioned that she should not take it to mean that I considered her as someone special. This is because I help even if someone other than her comes to me for guidance. In order to make sure that I avoid her association as much as possible, I have always refused whenever she has requested me to come with her when she had to do some shopping. Always, some other person offered (without being asked) to accompany her. She says she cannot understand how I could not like going somewhere with her when others were ready to do so without being asked. But even this is creating problems for me. Even though I have always refused her as politely as I could, many of my colleagues consider it very arrogant on my part. But I feel that this is a very small price to pay considering the situation I am in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avinash Posted September 6, 2003 Report Share Posted September 6, 2003 And I realize you are not a couple! Was just speaking in general. Ha ha /images/graemlins/smile.gif I just wanted to say that even if you had not written these two lines, I would not have felt offended. I have read enough of your posts to get some idea of your way of thinking. I can say that your words will never offend me. /images/graemlins/smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I_love_krishna_ Posted September 6, 2003 Report Share Posted September 6, 2003 "There are other kids walking around that school feeling just as awkward as you feel - they have just learned the art of hiding it. That is the secret of their success." It is like a plague that strikes the "teenagers"... the smart ones stay away from it and concentrate on school rather than trying to get a cooler social circle/life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I_love_krishna_ Posted September 6, 2003 Report Share Posted September 6, 2003 The danger of that happening in India and in that environment is close to null. That cannot happen in India. It may happen in western countries. Many social disorders occur in the west when compared to the east. I went to India to research into the effects of amygdala in social anxiety disorder. It turns out that they never had a social anxiety disorder case in the hospital. The doctors said there wouldn't be any cases to take data upon because it just does not happen in India... Same thing with this. It never happens in India. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2003 Report Share Posted September 8, 2003 << I dunnno what i have done this life or my past that is making krishna so angry. I am ugly, >> krishna does not think so. he made you. << i have no gf's, >> if some girls think you are ugly, there are some sother girls who also may be thinking that way (that they are ugly)and will think you are beautiful for them. however, the form of the body is not of importance in the vedic culture. the beauty of mind, words, thoughts, and intelligence is. << no girl would even want to go out with me, >> it is just a matter of you coming in the sight/mind of some special girl. dont hanker for it. live your life beautifully. some day you will get surprise. << my friends are all selfish, and I dunno how to fix this...>> dont fix them. quit them. and live un-selfishly. one can only fix one's self, not others. jai sri krishna! -madhav Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted September 8, 2003 Report Share Posted September 8, 2003 Avinash prabhu, Sound like you are doing all the right things, giivng her good advice and avoiding her other times. Try not to let the opinions of co-workers get to you. You don't see them offering to marry her. ha And marriage is a life chocie to be made by that person alone, no one should judge someone else who doesn't want to spend the rest of life with a particular perosn they dont want to spend it with. Nah, you're right, they're wrong. /images/graemlins/smile.gif And thanks for your kind words about my posts. One day I hope I dont mess up, ha, but I'm only human. Trying to get beyond that tho. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted September 8, 2003 Report Share Posted September 8, 2003 The danger of that happening in India and in that environment is close to null. That cannot happen in India. It may happen in western countries. Many social disorders occur in the west when compared to the east. I went to India to research into the effects of amygdala in social anxiety disorder. It turns out that they never had a social anxiety disorder case in the hospital. The doctors said there wouldn't be any cases to take data upon because it just does not happen in India... Same thing with this. It never happens in India. Haribol prabhu, I would so much want to believe this. Unfortuatnely too many such diseases, or even just problems along these lines, are considered something to be ashamed of, therefore no one reports them. I would love to be wrong, but there is no way to get statistics on what is not revealed. Its kali yuga on the entire planet and the only way out is to chant Hare Krishna. /images/graemlins/smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingentity Posted September 8, 2003 Report Share Posted September 8, 2003 tell us more. When did you do this? I went to India to research into the effects of amygdala in social anxiety disorder. It turns out that they never had a social anxiety disorder case in the hospital. The doctors said there wouldn't be any cases to take data upon because it just does not happen in India... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingentity Posted September 8, 2003 Report Share Posted September 8, 2003 how our friend is doing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2003 Report Share Posted September 8, 2003 When I came into high school, my teachers dragged 3 kids from my school to join the science research program . Sigh, one of them was me. The science research program was this college/high school program where the kids got to do research for the State University of New York Albany. We did extensive research in the fields we were interested in and I picked Neuroscience. I started with the basics in my 9th grade... then as the years passed on my knowledge in neurobiology grew and I focused on my research on one particular part of the brain called the amygdala. Amygdala is the center of the emotional activity in the brain. It also controls many things like flight and fight mechanisms. It is also the rewarding center (in other words, releases the good old dopamine). Anyway, between my 4 year research period, they made me pick a mentor to work with during the summer. So, I picked a neurologist in India- they sent me there! /images/graemlins/smile.gif I went there and they tested me on my knowledge on neurology. I passed /images/graemlins/smile.gif . then they gave me an observer status in Apollo hospitals in India. The sad part is there were no social disorder cases in the hospital... so I had to learn about Epilepsy. I had basic knowledge on EPilepsy but I didn't really go into it. But that was the only choice, I had to do something. So, I asked for a permit into the Nizam institute of Medical science , they let me use their library. I learned as much as I could about epilepsy in 15 days and then my mentor tested me and he said learn about EEG now... and I only had 10 more days left in India. So, I learned as much as I could in 48 hours about EEG and then after that my mentor called me the next day to show me EEG scans and all the fun stuff. But, during these 15 days of research, I was not really careful about my health. Then I had a severe case of cellularis. There was a really good foot doctor in the same hospital... so I showed it to him and he said "Bed rest 4 days" and he gave me powerful antibiotics... But I didn't care for my health and wanted to see the EEG scannings ... it got so serious that I could only get 6 cases of EEG scannings and then I took like 3 days of bed rest and flew back to America. The sad part is, I almost made it to the semi finals in INtel ... oh well /images/graemlins/frown.gif that goes down the drain. One good thing about this is that I got to come into KC /images/graemlins/smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 8, 2003 Report Share Posted September 8, 2003 If I really did my research well, then I could have gotten 150, 000 dollars /images/graemlins/smile.gif /images/graemlins/blush.gif /images/graemlins/smile.gif oh well... I love krishna~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonehearted Posted September 8, 2003 Report Share Posted September 8, 2003 Guest: One good thing about this is that I got to come into KC. Well, that's cool, because there are now devotees in KC. I hear that's where Danavir Maharaj has his program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted September 9, 2003 Report Share Posted September 9, 2003 If I really did my research well, then I could have gotten 150, 000 dollars oh well... WOW What an interesting story! Thank you for sharing it. Well, the loss of so much $ may be a little frustrating for a while, but the older you get the less important that money will be to you, as you will see more and more you received the greatest treasure - Krishna! /images/graemlins/smile.gif And you are all ready on that track. How fortunate anyone is to learn Krishna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I_love_krishna_ Posted September 9, 2003 Report Share Posted September 9, 2003 but me winning an Intel Science Talent search award would have been close to null... but Krishna is the greatest gift /images/graemlins/smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2003 Report Share Posted September 9, 2003 Krishna does not hate anybody. Sometimes we do not have time to stop and think what really Krishna wants from us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingentity Posted September 9, 2003 Report Share Posted September 9, 2003 reposted from Exam thread... Krishna makes the world, and enforces with total impartiality (udasina vat) the rules by which the world operates. Although God makes and enforces the rules, it is up to us how we play the game. The players of a game, not the inventor are responsible for who wins or loses. Though all powerful, God is not directly responsible for the good and bad in the world because he grants the living entities a measure of independence from His direct control, to "play the game of life" as we choose. Sometimes we play in ways that bring harsh results. Sometimes in ways that bring good results. The blame or merit is ours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted September 9, 2003 Report Share Posted September 9, 2003 L.E. You bring up a good point - which brings to another topic - freewill. How much freewill do we really have? /images/graemlins/smile.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2003 Report Share Posted September 9, 2003 In my humble opinion, we have no free will, we have only choices to make, the rest of it is not in our control I_love_krishna_ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livingentity Posted September 9, 2003 Report Share Posted September 9, 2003 We would like to think we have it all! /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 10, 2003 Report Share Posted September 10, 2003 Here's my understanding of freewill. Correct me if I am wrong. 1-We are in the illusion we are free, and like it. (I admit, its rather scary to think otherwise.) 2-We are free to choose Krishna or maya. 3-If we choose maya, or if there's a mixture, we get mixed freedom. This freedom is therefore karmically controlled. 4-Here's how it may play out. Say there are two cows. They both are tied up by a ten foot rope. They can only move ten feet. The one cow thinks its all hopeless, why even bother, so never endeavors and therefore has restricted her own freedom. Whereas the other cow is thinking "At least I have ten feet of freedom. I will use it!" So to a degree there appears to be choice there, which is in relationship to both karma and attutude. But to think we have freedom beyond that, I doubt it. I read somewhere on these boards that Prabhupada gave a similar exmple, like a dog on a leash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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