Sex

[Sathya]

The majority of Hindu scriptures advise humans that it is sinful to have sex for any other reason than child bearing. I understand that sex with anyone apart from your wife is strongly condemned in most scriptures.

 

But why so if it is with your own wife? Doesn't this mean quite a large part of this world is sinning? Is it regarded as badly affecting your karma ina negative way?

 

[Guest guest]

Thank you for this question as I feel it is an important issue to discuss.

 

Yes it is true that illicit sex is condemned in the Vedic literature, this means even sex in marriage not for procreation.

 

This is a very high standard to follow but there are reasons for that. Firstly certain material activities are binding to this world, which mean that they make us more attached to this material situation.

 

These activities include meat eating , illicit sex, intoxication and gambling etc. These activities make it very difficult to advance in spiritual life and to understand spiritual subject matter.

 

Therefore we should try to give up these activities.

 

Speaking as a practicing devotee, I have found that many devotees who after entering married life find it very difficult if not impossible to follow this principle. I am not speaking of one or two casses but the majority of devotees in the grahasta ashram. The problem is that it is even more difficult to regulate sex life, when you wife of object of our desires is there in front of us.

 

The problem is that sex weather it is with your wife or not, if it is not regulated it will have negative effects. Loosing to much semen can cause loss of enthusias, and as I said make us more materialistic and less spiritual.

 

Yes it is true that by having sex with your wife, if not for procreation is a sinful activity and you will suffer karma for it. But at the same time we cannot push ourselves into certain standards if we are not ready, it simply will not work.

 

The best thing is to follow to the best of your ability what more can you do. Better to have some principles, better to have sex in marriage if not for children it is better then sleeping around. Krishna will see that you are sincere and He will help you. The best thing is to chant and hear the glories of the Lord and then you will overcome these minor problems.

 

It is also a bad thing to kill ourselves with feelings of guilt over not being able to follow the highest standard, the main thing is that we are sincere in our endeavours.

 

The main thing is to chant and hear the pastimes of Krishna, and follow the eight processes of bhakti, then naturally we will overcome these problems.

[maadhav]

<< But why so if it is with your own wife? >>

 

for hindus wife is not a sex machine,

and sex is not themost important.

 

if limitless sex with wife is allowed,

then there is no difference between man and many animals like monkies, e,g..

 

 

 

krishna says:

dharm avirddhuH kaamaH asmi bharata rishabha.

 

He also says:

kaama eshha krodha eshha rajoguna samudbhava

mahaashano mahaapampa vidhyenaamiha vairinam

 

so we listen to krishna.

 

[Sathya]

I wasn't suggesting that a wife is a sex machine and I think it is a bit silly to assume that a women is getting nothing out of the sexual act. All I am asking is, it there a heavy karma against you for having pleasure sex with your wife.

 

[maadhav]

<< there a heavy karma against you for having pleasure sex with your wife. >>

 

same for the women also.

 

use it only to produce god conscious children you can afford to support.

 

 

[brinthan]

If having sex but for enjoyment only is a crime, does it mean that self enjoyment (masturbation) is a very sinful thing to do? Does Hinduism prohibit masturbation like some other religions do?

[maadhav]

yes, but indirectly, in diffrernt words.

hinduim says "control your senses"

do not become slave of the senses.

 

if an act does not please krishna or if he does not recommend it, then it would be bettr to avoid it.

 

[Guest guest]

you must remember that when these scriptures were written people had many kids. sometimes even 20. so they had more sex with their spouses. nowadays when everyone is restricting their family to one or two kids there will be no relations at all between spouses. so we have to keep that in mind. i look at things differently. we have to keep pace with the changing society we live in. if we live our lives as sincerely as possible with God guiding our steps and actions then we will be blessed. in today's world where so many people are committing adultery, having sex with one's own spouse is not a sin. be true to yourself and your family and to God. the rest will fall into place.

[Guest guest]

you do not look differently.. you are perfectly in line with scriptures

 

sex without procreation, seen from the highest level of realization, is a form of exploiting the others

 

we know also that the jivas are in the sperm.. so if we waste it we commit actually an abortion

 

but we cannot repress our sex urge or we, after some time, will make more and more perverted sex

 

so we have to keep in mind the highest principles and to pray god to give us the possibility to get liberation also from this huge attachement

 

we behave in a normally moral way, being monogamous, we do what we need to do, and simultaneously we follow a valid spiritual path and we behave accordingly

 

if we are serious, god will give us the liberation

[maadhav]

<< Hindu scriptures advise humans that it is sinful to have sex for any other reason than child bearing. I understand that sex with anyone apart from your wife is strongly condemned in most scriptures. >>

 

<< But why so if it is with your own wife? >>

 

see your above quote.

life purpose is not toe indulge in sense gratifications.

only the animals live for sex, etc.

 

[Tirisilex]

What about sexual Tantric practices? These are done without the purpose of child bearing. How is this Justified?

[Guest guest]

"orthodox" Hinduism. Orthodox being in quotes because there really is no such thing. But I believe Tantrism is generally frowned upon in mainstream Hinduism.

 

However, I would say that Tantric practices are ok, because they're in the pursuit of God.

 

People have near-death experiences, and God-contact supposedly during sex from time to time. I wouldn't recommend that path, but if you are inclined to do this, go ahead. Obviously, I think you must have your principles straight when trying to practice this form though.

[Guest guest]

But what the nature says or allows? Do the nature allows sex with differant partneres & sex violance for differanciation & 'surrvival of fittest' nature's motives?

 

Should we follow all ancient sayings & Avtara's teachings or just last 'Avtara's of Lord Vishnu in deciding it or other acts & deeds OR nature's laws or rules???

 

Best wishes.

[Guest guest]

Why was the kamasutra written?

[Guest guest]

to give at least some rules

[maadhav]

<< Why was the kamasutra written? >>

 

same reason why master and johnson wrote about their work.

 

note that kamasutra is not a scriture.

no swami or yogi or aacharya reads it or talks about it.

 

however it is a science, and those who want to enjoy sex can learn from kamasutra. doing so, however, means getting more entangled in samsara amd retarding progress towards moksha or bhakti.

 

[Guest guest]

That is fine, but if it is not a scripture then why is there a long varanan of Bhagwan in the introduction? Same goes for Patanjali's Yoga Sutra. Whatis the definition of a scripture?

 

Is it a case the the Kama sutra scripture is rejected by various sampradays because it deals with sexual behaviour, which is turn goes against what they preach?

[Guest guest]

The greater the Vairagya (non-attachment to worldly objects) the more secure will be the semen. The more the preservation of semen, the greater will be the transmutation into Ojas which means abundant physical, mental, moral and spiritual strength and quick evolution. Pranayam helps a lot in gaining control over the physical machinery and the mind. To have control over the mind means to have control over the Prana Sakti and prevent Veerya from being let out. To have control over this masculine power means to have abundant Ojas which enables the aspirant to glow spiritually. Intense Sadhana, with the desires reduced to the barest minimum, will sublimate the sexual energy into spiritual energy. Therefore, it is advised that sex should be avoided during spritual progress.

[maadhav]

<< The greater the Vairagya (non-attachment to worldly objects) the more secure will be the semen. The more the preservation of semen, the greater will be the transmutation into Ojas which means abundant physical, mental, moral and spiritual strength and quick evolution. Pranayam helps a lot in gaining control over the physical machinery and the mind. To have control over the mind means to have control over the Prana Sakti and prevent Veerya from being let out. To have control over this masculine power means to have abundant Ojas which enables the aspirant to glow spiritually. Intense Sadhana, with the desires reduced to the barest minimum, will sublimate the sexual energy into spiritual energy. Therefore, it is advised that sex should be avoided during spritual progress. >>

 

yes, i totally agree. thanks.

please pick a good username and visit ofter here.

 

[maadhav]

<< That is fine, but if it is not a scripture then why is there a long varanan of Bhagwan in the introduction? Same goes for Patanjali's Yoga Sutra. Whatis the definition of a scripture? >>

 

by scripture, i means shaastra or dharma shaastra specifically.

 

when a book systematically and logically and rationally represents a body of knowledge, then it is called a shastra for that knowledge. thus we have artha shasta, dharma shastra. kama shastra is thus kama sutra. the content is the truth, not lies or guesses.

 

sutra means that the knowledge (of certain subject) is provided in it very compactly in a logical sequence.

 

<< Is it a case the the Kama sutra scripture is rejected by various sampradays because it deals with sexual behaviour, which is turn goes against what they preach? >>

 

indulging in sex like a sex addict does help any type of yogi to realize god or advance spiritually. a hindu's goal is to seek permanent happiness, not temporary. and sex enjoyment is very temporary. so it is not worth it for a yogi.

 

many a swamis and yogis have said that one who can control his/her mind, can control (greatly influence) others as well. more one can control the mind, more one can influence others.

 

[barney]

If sex is sin why did Dasaratha King of Ayodhya married three wives? That is why the scriptures has different kandams. For Householder, Bramachari and Sanyasi. If you become an house holder you are adviced to indulge in sex as much as you want to satisfy your urge and spouse. If you negelect to satisfy your wife than she would seek elsewhere and so will you if your wife cannot satisfy your urge. Than it becomes a bigger sin. Whereas the Bramachari and the Sanyasi should never even think of sex as to imagine itself is a sin. So if you are married do not worry about sin as you are excused from sin. Enjoy as much as you want and no harm would come to you. As I have and still do and I do not feel gulity about it.

[Guest guest]

Nobody stopped you from being with your wife.Shashtras only encourage you to be intimate and happy with your family.To a wife shastras advised her to be like a "mother to a husband in mornings and like a dasi in night".

 

The verses asking you to restrain are during specific events like ekadasi,shivrathri etc.Plus some days are exempted due to biological reasons.As long as you are in grahastha stage no holds.

 

But when you move to vanaprastha stage(when you are around 60) you ought to master your mind.Your wife cannot be pregnant at age 60 when you have a grandson,can she?

 

Even in the birthcontrol era,its better to think at age 60 about narayana and shiva than about useless things.If you dont think so at age 60 when will you will?

[Guest guest]

Yoif you engage in sexlife unrestrictedly in marrige than you are not a grstha but a grahmedi....sex should not be done to satisfy your urges...it should only be done for begetting good krishna consciouss children....this can be hard at times but if you start to think of your wife as a fellow servant of God and not just a tool for your urge then you can practice being a grstha....pleasee dont mislead other people by your foolish advice...srila prabhupada comments that Vedic principle has allowed everything. Because here we have come to enjoy so-called sense gratification. That is illusion. So there is regulated principle. You can have sex life once in a month. That is prescribed. Because the woman has once in a month menstrual period. So sex life is meant for simply begetting nice children, not for sense gratification. Therefore, because the woman is, gets the menstrual period once in a month, therefore the man can have sex life just after the menstrual period, over, after five days, he can sex life, have sex life with his wife under garbhadhana-samskara, responsibility. Otherwise he becomes implicated in sinful activities. That is Vedic injunction.(http://krishna.org/Articles/2000/10/00160.html)

[Guest guest]

In Mylapore, Madras, there lived about two thousand years ago a born Siddha and born poet by the name of Valluvar, or, as he is more commonly known, Tiruvalluvar. He is regarded as an Avatara of Brahma. He married Vasuki and led the life of a householder to show people the way of leading a divine life, a life of purity and sanctity, while living in the world. All his wise sayings and teachings are now in book-form and is known as Tirukural. These sayings and teachings are in couplets. Here are some of them:

 

Just as the alphabet ‘A’ is the beginning of all letters, so also God is the beginning for this universe.

 

Learn the Sastras completely and then act according to their injunctions.

 

The Anicha flower will fade by smelling but guests are more sensitive if the hosts turn their faces a bit.

 

Death is like sleeping in the burial ground, birth is like waking in the morning.

 

These couplets are 1330 in number. They contain the essence of the Vedas, the Upanishads and the six Darshanas. Tirukural is regarded as a universal Bible. It is another Gita, Koran or Zend Avesta.

 

Some aspirants repaired to Tiruvalluvar and enquired: “O sage, which Ashrama of life is better—Grihastha or Sannyasa?” The sage did not give any answer. He simply kept quiet. He wanted to teach them the glory of Grihastha Ashrama by example. His wife was an ideal, chaste and devoted lady who would never disobey his orders, but would implicitly carry them out. Once Tiruvalluvar was taking cold rice in the morning. He said to her: “O Vasuki, the rice is very hot, bring a fan to cool it.” She was at the time drawing water from the well when he called her. She at once left the rope and ran to him with a fan to cool down the rice. She did not say to her husband: “How can cool rice be hot? Why do you want a fan now?” She simply obeyed his commands. The vessel that contained water was hanging half way in the well fearful of her Pativrata Dharma Sakti. The aspirants noticed this strange phenomenon and the noble conduct of Vasuki, and were struck with amazement.

 

On another occasion, Valluvar called his wife at 1 p.m. and said: “Bring a lamp immediately, O Vasuki. I am stitching a piece of cloth. I cannot see the eye of the needle. I cannot pass the thread properly.” She did not say: “It is broad daylight now. Why do you want a lamp? You can see the needle properly.” But she implicitly obeyed his word. The aspirants were much inspired by the ideal life of sage Tiruvalluvar and the exalted conduct of his wife. They did not speak a word to the saint. They quietly left the place with profound satisfaction. They were deeply impressed by the practical and exemplary life led by the sage and his wife. They learnt a lesson that the life of an ideal householder is in no way inferior to that of an ideal Sannyasin who is treading the path of Nivritti and austerity in the Himalayan caves, and that each is great in his own place.

 

Dear reader! Can you find a single devoted wife like Vasuki in these days of modern civilisation and scientific advancement? If the husbands of the present-day behave like Tiruvalluvar, the wives will say: “My husband has become senseless. He wants to fan the rice when it is cold. He wants a light when there is broad daylight.” The wives will rebuke their husbands and fight with them. They will seek separation.

 

That house wherein the wife serves the husband with sincere devotion and observes Pativrata Dharma, is heaven on earth. That house wherein the wife fights with the husband and disobeys his orders, is a veritable hell on earth. Ladies who practise Pativrata Dharma need not go to temples. They need not practise any Vrata or penance. Service of husband becomes worship. They can realise God through service of their husbands. Husbands also should be ideal persons with noble qualities. Husbands are the Gurus for their wives. Wives need not get any initiation from any Acharya. Glory to such exalted ladies who practise Pativrata Dharma!

 

 

[Guest guest]

Sex in marriage is regarded as a form of Loving Bondage between a husband and wife. It is misleading to say that sex with your wife other than for procreation is a sin.

 

Our scriptures has said that, if a being is able to control the five senses, than that being is able to reach higher realm of spiritual conciousness.

 

It doesn't mean that you should be absent from sex. A husband's duty is to fullfill the wife's needs either material, physically and emotionally. If you do not please her sexually than it is clear that you are not exercising your duty as a husband.

 

Isn't that a sin in according to our scriptures?

 

Do not mislead your life by misinterpreting the Holy Scriptures !