Dream a little Dream?

[Gauracandra]

I thought I'd spin off a new thread from Jayaradhe's. She was discussing a dream she had and I thought it would be interesting to discuss dream interpretation. Can dreams give us a glimpse of the future? Do they tell us something about ourselves and our current situation?

 

I have had dreams where upon introspection I realize that they were reflecting back to me things that had been happening in my life at that time. Sometimes things that were very subtle. So I think analyzing one's dreams can help one look at oneself from another angle. It might just be a safer way of confronting various issues in our lives that we might not want to openly admit to ourselves. I'm also interested in the idea of dreams as prophecy. So what are your thoughts regarding dreams?

 

Gauracandra

[leyh]

Recently,I had a very frightening dream in which I screamed at someone (I don't know who):"I DON'T CARE FOR KRSNA OR FOR HIS ASSOCIATES!"

 

I woke up feeling worried by this dream.Why would I scream such blasphemy in my dreams?

 

The only reason I can think of is that its because I am a fallen soul.

 

May Krsna and His associates have mercy on me...

[jijaji]

leyh,

 

Perhaps you were voicing someone else in your dream besides yourself. Often times that can happen.

 

jijaji

[Maitreya]

Originally posted by leyh:

Recently,I had a very frightening dream in which I screamed at someone (I don't know who):"I DON'T CARE FOR KRSNA OR FOR HIS ASSOCIATES!"

 

I woke up feeling worried by this dream.Why would I scream such blasphemy in my dreams?

 

The only reason I can think of is that its because I am a fallen soul.

 

May Krsna and His associates have mercy on me...

leyh,

Speaking for just myself, I find this to be the basic underlying principle of my life.Deep rooted resentment towards Krishna.

 

I caught a strong glimpse of this within myself once in this 'waking state' and more or less had a nervous breakdown.

 

Most of us are in a mixed state It is very confusing and troubling.Impossible to find solid internal footing at this level and the recognized contradictions are unnerving.

 

We try to avoid these realizations in so many ways.Even sadhana practices can used as a clever way of hiding by the mind.Or is it by the soul, hiding in the mind?

 

The conscious portion of our mind is very clever and deceitful at times.When the sub-conscious is more to the fore as it is in dreams,sometimes it displays before us important messages in the form of dream plays.Mostly its just nonsensical images.

 

This one of yours was certainly very straight forward and I suspect humbling.We are at war within and now you have a clearer vision of whom you are contending with in this great battle.

 

I've seen the enemy and the enemy is me.

 

I believe a dream like the one you described,

was really right from the Supersoul and should be accepted and meditated on with gratitude.

 

Only my speculations of course.

 

Hare Krishna,

MC

 

 

[leyh]

Originally posted by amanpeter:

quote:

Originally posted by leyh:

Recently,I had a very frightening dream in which I screamed at someone (I don't know who):"I DON'T CARE FOR KRSNA OR FOR HIS ASSOCIATES!"

I woke up feeling worried by this dream.Why would I scream such blasphemy in my dreams?

The only reason I can think of is that its because I am a fallen soul.

May Krsna and His associates have mercy on me...

*****************************************

 

*********************************************

 

Truth is, we all share these feelings, prabhus. Truly admitting it makes us evermore eligible for, and appreciative of, His causeless mercy in the form of Divine Grace.

 

As Gaudiya's, we consider the personification and source of such unconditional Love to be none other than Srimati Radharani. Knowing this, we can take full shelter in Her, and that includes dovetailing emotions such as these with Her's. Krsna often infuriates Radha and Her loyal friends! In fact, they gang up on Him and His friends, always emerging victorious in the end. This is what bhakti is all about!

 

The only problem, from our perspective, is the lack of purity in our expression of what Prabhupada called "spontaneous eternal feelings", due to our immersion in material conciousness. `Purification` is brought about by conciously associating with the Internal Potency (Sri Radha and Her girlfriends). Krsna conciousness is both the means and the end, but it is not possible without connecting with Sri Radhika, personally and/or impersonally, since we are the parts of Her whole.

 

Of course, personally is always best, and that opportunity is ever available to us if we simply accept Her as our dearmost confidential friend and share all]/b] our innermost thoughts, feelings, etc. with Her. No formality or even `Godness` required, in fact it can interfere with much needed emotional honesty. Believe me, She can handle anything and will accept anyone-- REGARDLESS!

 

She is the key to all of this and thus She can make the impossible happen in an instant! When Radharani accepts someone as a friend, She will never neglect or abandon them! Krsna is quite different and way more than we can possibly handle at our present level. Please turn to Swamini-Kisori and surrender everything to Her--the good, the bad, and the ugly. Only Radhika is the essence, and thus essential. She alone is enough, but without Her nothing else will prove effective for very long. If we try to pursue Krsna He will run us all ragged, eventually leaving each of us lost, alone, and bewildered.

 

Learn how to cling to Srimati like a little girl might attach herself to an older sister. Look up to Her with admiration, as if She were your whole world, celebrating Her superiority and victories over Krsna. Join in the glorious chorus of Her girlfriends!!! That will be most pleasing to Krsna! Though He will surely test your fidelity for awhile, eventually He will accept you as Her's. Then, as you'll see, it's a `whole different ballgame`!

 

JAI JAI SRI RADHE! valaya

 

 

It was indeed a humbling experience, Maitreya.I can see your point about deep rooted resentment towards Krsna.In so many subtle ways,the ego is always plotting to sabotage one's spiritual life.

 

I'm glad to hear I'm not alone...

 

amanpeter,you seem to be very fond of Srimati Radharani.I have not really attached much importance to her in the past and that is probably why I am still so fallen.I've been reading Srila Prabhupada's "Elevation to Krsna Consciousness recently and in it,he writes:

 

"We are Krsna's parts and parcels and have been created to give pleasure to Krsna. The chief pleasure potency is Radharani, and so Radha-Krsna are always together. Whereas the material energy is conducted by the external potency, Maya, the spiritual world is conducted by the internal potency, Radharani. We often pray to Radharani because She is the pleasure potency of Krsna. The very word "Krsna" means all-attractive, but Radharani is so great that She attracts Krsna. If Krsna is always attractive to everyone, and Radharani is attractive to Krsna, how can we imagine the position of Srimati Radharani? We should try humbly to understand and offer Her our obeisances, saying, "Radharani, You are so dear to Krsna. You are the daughter of King Vrsabhanu, and You are Krsna's beloved. We offer our respectful obeisances unto You. Radharani is very dear to Krsna, and if we approach Krsna through the mercy of Radharani, we can easily attain Him. If Radharani recommends a devotee, Krsna immediately accepts him, however foolish he may be. Consequently in Vrndavana we find that devotees chant Radharani's name more often than Krsna's. Wherever we go in India we will find devotees calling, "Jaya Radhe." We should be more interested in worshiping Radharani, for however fallen we may be, if somehow or other we can please Her, we can very easily understand Krsna. If we try to understand Krsna by the speculative process, we will have to spend many lifetimes of speculation; but if we take to devotional service and just try to please Radharani, then Krsna can be very easily realized. Radharani is such a great devotee that She can deliver Krsna."(Elevation to Krsna Consciousness,Chapter Five:Knowing Krsna's Energies)

 

If I start screaming blasphemies again,I hope that somewhere in the dreamhe strength to counteract the blasphemies with a desperate:"Hare Krsna!" and "Jaya Radhe!"

 

I am depending on their mercy.

 

To anyone who may be reading this,I wish you steady progress in your fight with the enemy from within.

 

 

 

 

[This message has been edited by leyh (edited 09-16-2001).]

[JRdd]

Yes I am re-remembering that Srimate Radharani is the key in all this. And when you turn to Her your self-perceptions your own good bad and ugliness in a sense seem to dissipate in the glow of Her open-hearted, unhesitant acceptance of you. Krsna on the other hand is a tease, but He is tamed by His beloved consort.

 

Radharani is everything to us: mother, friend, listener...and She like Krsna is also grateful, which helps one become humble when one glimpses their magnanimous gratitude.

 

I am understanding at the moment (though these things do flee away from me--which is a good reason to at least get it down in writing and also share it; repetition helps one remember and digest) how very simple this process is. It is a process of becoming humble, and of yearning to be with Krsna in some way--directly and/or through His devotees. We should be grateful, therefore, for any suffering we feel in separation, for that is payment toward our fare. Krsna does not expect great feats from us. He only wants us to want, so badly, to be with Him. This is the essence of what the Vaisnava acaryas are gifting us with. That yearning.

 

I love you all, am feeling so greatful for your association, and especially when you are open and honest. Let's take this journey together, the ride will be so much easier.

 

Jayaradhe

[JRdd]

I read about the deer today. Well first I was telling a friend (forgot there were wonderful gentle women around here--alas they are in the next town where I moved from but today I got a break) about my deer dream, how I had gone to bed praying for strength and more awareness of the protection that is there for me, and how this big strong deer came in my dream, only he wasnt so big, but more like his bigness came from inside him, and how I sat there quite unafraid, as he simiilarly sat in my garden, that dark night, like he belonged there or had decided he did.

and how in the morning indeed all my zucchini flowers were gone bt that was okay; it's always been okay with me that the deer eat my vegetables before they get going, as I am simply grateful to have deer and no longer drunksters and crankards for next door neighbours. (But I had thought they stopped finally, for some weeks now, and that I was really gonna see vegetables growing finally. I am glad they leave the marigolds for Kanea.)

So anyway Christine says that one time she was sitting alone and thinking about how the deer is one of her totems (it's mine too, but bear is my central totem, or at least he/she used to be, not sure now), and that she would like something with more power though. Deer are so gentle. So is Christine, a poet. And just as she was thinking this, a deer--must have been a buck, she said--suddenly ran right in front of her, fast, with such force--and then she understood that there is power in gentleness.

At her house I looked at an animal book and read about deer being, among other things, harbingers of new growth (like their antlers--and in my dream this deer had none), and also that they signify gentleness and power. And how there are tales from all over the world of deer leading kings and men into the forest, where these worldly people find themselves.

Dreams like anything else are of course open to interpretation. But we can feel them, and if by those feelings we create out of them, juslike we create word pictures or paintings or wonderful dishes for Krsna, if we become encouraged or insped by what they speak to us, then it is a good thing.

I took that deer dream as an answer to my prayer to Radharani to help me become aware of protection. I now am reassured that I have protecting spirits all around me, sent by Krsna. It is a beautiful feeling and helps me carry on in this hellish world.

thanks, JR

[Gauracandra]

Leyh,

 

I wouldn't be too worried. Perhaps there are times when we feel agitated towards other devotees and this just came out in your dream. It doesn't mean its a permanent sort of thing, but just at that time.

 

Here are two dreams I remember from a long time back (they've stuck with me all this time). Nothing mystical. Just interesting how the mind incorporates what happens.

 

Many years ago, when I first got out of college and was looking for a job, I kept having this one particular dream. I'd go into an office and start to talk. As I was talking, one tooth would start to wobble and fall out onto the desk. I'd quickly pick it up and hide it. Then another would start to loosen, then another, and another until my whole mouth was full of my teeth. I would be spitting them out, putting them in my pocket. And my speach was all garbled. I had the same dream so many times (every couple of nights for a few months). Until one day I went into an interview, kicked back, and relaxed. Thats when I got my first job. I wasn't thinking, but noticed a few days later that I no longer had that dream. It was gone completely. I then started to think about it and realized that my mind was telling me to relax. I was so nervous for the job interviews that it was like having a mouthful of teeth and trying to talk. But as soon as I relaxed, took my time, thats when I got my first job.

 

Another time I was visiting San Francisco. As I was sleeping I had a dream I was in a building and it started to shake from an earthquake. I ran to a door and opened it. It opened to another room slightly smaller with a slightly smaller door. I ran to it and opened it. Again, I was in a smaller room with a smaller door. Again and again, until finally I cam to a door like 1 foot tall, I opened it, squeezed in and all there was were deities of Radha & Krsna. I held onto them. Then I woke up. A few hours passed and I watched on the news that a small earthquake had happened that night. So my body and mind incorporated the sensations into the dream. It was kind of interesting.

 

Gauracandra

[JRdd]

LOL! (about the tooth dream)

 

Yes I think it is interesting too, how the mind incorporates these things. Like how I dreamed of the deer and then in the morning sure enough he had been there. Deer are very quiet and there was no way I could have sensed it through the five senses, though. When we sleep, though, our unconscious can do more, access more on the subtle planes. I beleive that is why some of our dreams are prophetic. Like the morning, just hours before the world trade center was bombed, and I dreamed this incredibly blissful kirtan. To me it was like a harbinger kind of dream.

 

Jungian analysis gives great credence to dreams (oh did you already mention this, can't remember).

 

JR

[leyh]

Originally posted by jijaji:

leyh,

 

Perhaps you were voicing someone else in your dream besides yourself. Often times that can happen.

 

jijaji

jijaji:

Could you please elaborate?

 

 

[atma]

 

Originally posted by Gauracandra:

 

Here are two dreams I remember from a long time back (they've stuck with me all this time). Nothing mystical. Just interesting how the mind incorporates what happens.

 

Many years ago, when I first got out of college and was looking for a job, I kept having this one particular dream. I'd go into an office and start to talk. As I was talking, one tooth would start to wobble and fall out onto the desk. I'd quickly pick it up and hide it. Then another would start to loosen, then another, and another until my whole mouth was full of my teeth. I would be spitting them out, putting them in my pocket. And my speach was all garbled. I had the same dream so many times (every couple of nights for a few months). Until one day I went into an interview, kicked back, and relaxed. Thats when I got my first job. I wasn't thinking, but noticed a few days later that I no longer had that dream. It was gone completely. I then started to think about it and realized that my mind was telling me to relax. I was so nervous for the job interviews that it was like having a mouthful of teeth and trying to talk. But as soon as I relaxed, took my time, thats when I got my first job.

 

Another time I was visiting San Francisco. As I was sleeping I had a dream I was in a building and it started to shake from an earthquake. I ran to a door and opened it. It opened to another room slightly smaller with a slightly smaller door. I ran to it and opened it. Again, I was in a smaller room with a smaller door. Again and again, until finally I cam to a door like 1 foot tall, I opened it, squeezed in and all there was were deities of Radha & Krsna. I held onto them. Then I woke up. A few hours passed and I watched on the news that a small earthquake had happened that night. So my body and mind incorporated the sensations into the dream. It was kind of interesting.

 

Gauracandra

 

I had the same kind of experience about fallen teeth. It put me in so much anxiety because I thought that was a bad omen, I was becoming really desesperate in the dream, my teeth kept falling and I didn't know what to do. I was also going through changes in my life and afraid of new beginnings, I had the same dream for few nights until I went to the library and got a book about dreams and the Indian author said that was a good omen. After that it was ok.

 

Very nice that in your other dream you took shelter of Radha-Krsna. Very fortunate that your mind took you to the right place for protection.

 

After I met the devotees I had this dream with Srila Prabhupada. He was walking in the beach where I used to go as a child. He saw me picking up little semi-precious stones and conshells and he started laughing. He pointed to some devotees that were walking with him and said that I should take association of the devotees. He continued walking and with a gesture told me to walk with them.

I took it as a signal to give up my karmi life. Not so succesful yet, I'm sorry to say.

 

Little later in another dream I saw this Franciscan monk coming to BG class in the preaching center that we had in the city. He was very interested and asked many questions. The next evening when I went to class the same monk was there and he asked the same questions that I dreamt the night before. I was stunned. I never spoke to him and I never saw him again and still wonder how that kind of things happen.

 

Sometimes when you had bad dreams is due to the influence of subtle living entities that love to disturb your sleep. I knew one devotee that was been attack by one of these things for a while. It was really scary, he used to suffer so much while dreaming that his all body was shaking and he was lamenting very badly, like in agony. Finally one night, he couldn't take it anymore and he took the Srimad Bhagavatam and read all the lilas about Lord Siva aloud to the ghost until sunrise. From that moment on, he never had problem in his sleep.

 

More stories tomorrow, I'm so tired, I'm going to zzzzzzz. I'll read Krsna book before to have sweet dreams.

 

 

[talasiga]

Originally posted by Maitreya:

leyh,

Speaking for just myself, I find this to be the basic underlying principle of my life.Deep rooted resentment towards Krishna.

 

Only a friend

would be so

honest

 

 

 

 

------------------

talasiga@hotmail.com

[talasiga]

Originally posted by leyh:

Recently,I had a very frightening dream in which I screamed at someone (I don't know who):"I DON'T CARE FOR KRSNA OR FOR HIS ASSOCIATES!"

I woke up feeling worried by this dream.Why would I scream such blasphemy in my dreams?

 

My dear Leyh

 

Our waking world is a waking dream in which

we sometimes recollect, out of context,

the smallest parts of our private

interactions with Natavaralaal.

The offensiveness is not

what we said or didn't

but how little we

remember.

 

With Love

 

 

 

[This message has been edited by talasiga (edited 09-16-2001).]

[amanpeter]

quote:

Originally posted by leyh:

Recently,I had a very frightening dream in which I screamed at someone (I don't know who):"I DON'T CARE FOR KRSNA OR FOR HIS ASSOCIATES!"

I woke up feeling worried by this dream.Why would I scream such blasphemy in my dreams?

The only reason I can think of is that its because I am a fallen soul.

May Krsna and His associates have mercy on me...

*****************************************

 

Originally posted by Maitreya:

leyh,

Speaking for just myself, I find this to be the basic underlying principle of my life.Deep rooted resentment towards Krishna.

 

I caught a strong glimpse of this within myself once in this 'waking state' and more or less had a nervous breakdown.

 

Most of us are in a mixed state It is very confusing and troubling.Impossible to find solid internal footing at this level and the recognized contradictions are unnerving.

 

We try to avoid these realizations in so many ways.Even sadhana practices can used as a clever way of hiding by the mind.Or is it by the soul, hiding in the mind?

 

The conscious portion of our mind is very clever and deceitful at times.When the sub-conscious is more to the fore as it is in dreams,sometimes it displays before us important messages in the form of dream plays.Mostly its just nonsensical images.

 

This one of yours was certainly very straight forward and I suspect humbling.We are at war within and now you have a clearer vision of whom you are contending with in this great battle.

 

I've seen the enemy and the enemy is me.

 

I believe a dream like the one you described,

was really right from the Supersoul and should be accepted and meditated on with gratitude.

 

Only my speculations of course.

 

Hare Krishna,

MC

 

*********************************************

 

Truth is, we all share these feelings, prabhus. Truly admitting it makes us evermore eligible for, and appreciative of, His causeless mercy in the form of Divine Grace.

 

As Gaudiya's, we consider the personification and source of such unconditional Love to be none other than Srimati Radharani. Knowing this, we can take full shelter in Her, and that includes dovetailing emotions such as these with Her's. Krsna often infuriates Radha and Her loyal friends! In fact, they gang up on Him and His friends, always emerging victorious in the end. This is what bhakti is all about!

 

The only problem, from our perspective, is the lack of purity in our expression of what Prabhupada called "spontaneous eternal feelings", due to our immersion in material conciousness. `Purification` is brought about by conciously associating with the Internal Potency (Sri Radha and Her girlfriends). Krsna conciousness is both the means and the end, but it is not possible without connecting with Sri Radhika, personally and/or impersonally, since we are the parts of Her whole.

 

Of course, personally is always best, and that opportunity is ever available to us if we simply accept Her as our dearmost confidential friend and share all our innermost thoughts, feelings, etc. with Her. No formality or even `Godness` required, in fact it can interfere with much needed emotional honesty. Believe me, She can handle anything and will accept anyone-- REGARDLESS!

 

She is the key to all of this and thus She can make the impossible happen in an instant! When Radharani accepts someone as a friend, She will never neglect or abandon them! Krsna is quite different and way more than we can possibly handle at our present level. Please turn to Swamini-Kisori and surrender everything to Her--the good, the bad, and the ugly. Only Radhika is the essence, and thus essential. She alone is enough, but without Her nothing else will prove effective for very long. If we try to pursue Krsna He will run us all ragged, eventually leaving each of us lost, alone, and bewildered.

 

Learn how to cling to Srimati like a little girl might attach herself to an older sister. Look up to Her with admiration, as if She were your whole world, celebrating Her superiority and victories over Krsna. Join in the glorious chorus of Her girlfriends!!! That will be most pleasing to Krsna! Though He will surely test your fidelity for awhile, eventually He will accept you as Her's. Then, as you'll see, it's a `whole different ballgame`!

 

JAI JAI SRI RADHE! valaya

 

------------------

amanpeter@hotmail.com

 

[This message has been edited by amanpeter (edited 09-16-2001).]

 

[This message has been edited by amanpeter (edited 09-18-2001).]

[leyh]

Would anyone who have had nice dreams of Krsna or Srila Prabhupada like to share?

[JRdd]

One time I was being persecuted by someone who behaved as if I needed to serve them hand and foot because they were distributing books and I was "only" doing temple service. The mentality disturbed me, made it harder for me to retain my sense of humility, kind of like the arrogance was contaminating it. I knew from Srila Prabhupada of course that all service is equal, and myself had felt humble even to a new bhakta potwasher. I perceived everyone as having something very special inside them. But anyway as I said, I let this person's attitude toward me get to me, so that night I prayed, crying, earnestly, to Srila Prabhupada, to let me be humble, even to this devotee, and to not feel resentment toward her, and to not let me become arrogant in this resentment that I felt coming on. Srila Prabhupada came in my dream, and he was smiling, so so kindly, so sweetly, and I was at his feet, and he put his hand on my head and said in the most beautifully gentle and loving voice, "You are fine. Just as you are."

[Maitreya]

That was nice JR.

[dasanudas]

I agree to both of these remarks.

[leyh]

Originally posted by JRdd:

One time I was being persecuted by someone who behaved as if I needed to serve them hand and foot because they were distributing books and I was "only" doing temple service. The mentality disturbed me, made it harder for me to retain my sense of humility, kind of like the arrogance was contaminating it. I knew from Srila Prabhupada of course that all service is equal, and myself had felt humble even to a new bhakta potwasher. I perceived everyone as having something very special inside them. But anyway as I said, I let this person's attitude toward me get to me, so that night I prayed, crying, earnestly, to Srila Prabhupada, to let me be humble, even to this devotee, and to not feel resentment toward her, and to not let me become arrogant in this resentment that I felt coming on. Srila Prabhupada came in my dream, and he was smiling, so so kindly, so sweetly, and I was at his feet, and he put his hand on my head and said in the most beautifully gentle and loving voice, "You are fine. Just as you are."

Wow!What an absolotely inspiring dream.Did it take place after Srila Prabhupada left this planet?

 

 

[JRdd]

I have been trying to pinpoint this myself. I am almost sure it took place after he left the planet. But it was so vivid, he was really really there, that it almost in one way seems irrelevant as to whether it was before or after, if you get what I mean. I have heard that when the guru appears in your dream it is truly him (so long as there is no distortion). Does anyone else know of this or if there is an actual quote?

 

I forgot an important point in my prayer before I had this dream. Since years before, when they introduced karmi clothes and other ploys on sankirtan, and began emphasizing money, I found it very difficult to go out, so remained mostly in the temple apart from harinam and visiting FOLK members in their homes, etc. (Of course, in the temple there are many many opportunities also to help others in Krsna consciousness, including the other devotees, but also hosting the visitors nicely). So anyway, at the time of this devotee behaving like this toward me, it was a Christmas marathon. I was frail in health but wished to assist those who were going out, and also wished to do a little book distribution myself. So I went along for a few days on this trip. And immediately got sick. But still I was trying to assist the others in the little group. And that's when this thing started. I began to feel Maya coming in the form of feeling inadequate, feeling frustrated that I couldn't do more. So in my prayer to Srila Prabhupada I asked him to help me be stronger, to overcome the weaknesses in me and develop more taste for this sankirtan movement.

 

But he told me I was fine as I was. I felt he was telling me not to worry. Oh and I remember looking at his feet and wanting to rub them for him. But I can't remember if I actually masaged them or not. So I probably didn't.

 

Let's hear more sublime dreams.

 

Good morning and thank you for helping me remember nice things already as I woke up feeling emotionally challenged, and vulnerable to this world.

 

love, Jayaradhe

[dasanudas]

Funny thing about a 'little dream' everyone in the whole world can fit into it.

What must Maha Visnus dreams be like?

 

[talasiga]

Originally posted by dasanudas:

Funny thing about a 'little dream' everyone in the whole world can fit into it.

What must Maha Visnus dreams be like?

Every dream can fit into it.

 

 

 

------------------

talasiga@hotmail.com

[Maitreya]

Originally posted by talasiga:

Every dream can fit into it.

 

 

And perhaps even compose it,at least in part.

 

 

[leyh]

Originally posted by talasiga:

My dear Leyh

 

Our waking world is a waking dream in which

we sometimes recollect, out of context,

the smallest parts of our private

interactions with Natavaralaal.

The offensiveness is not

what we said or didn't

but how little we

remember.

 

With Love

 

[This message has been edited by talasiga (edited 09-16-2001).]

Dearv talasiga:

I'm sorry for the rather delayed response.I sometimes skim through the posts and I've only just noticed yours.

 

Your kindness and encouragement is very much appreciated. Here I am on a little island in South East Asia, receiving mercy from yourself and other good souls from distant countries... I am sincerely grateful.

 

 

[This message has been edited by leyh (edited 09-19-2001).]

[JRdd]

Hare Krsna prabhus!

 

I am writing to share an incredible dream I had this morning of Srila Prabhupada. It was so vivid. The last time I had a wonderful dream was the morning of the bombing of the World Trade Center. This is the morning the air strikes started over Kabul. This dream was far more ecstatic than the last. There is some correlation I am sure, though I am not sure what it is. I do know that Srila Prabhupada came to reassure me and also to remind me of my purpose, and also to enthuse me.

 

Before Srila Prabhupada appeared, it had been already a lengthy dream, with much association of mainly other devotee women. We were excited because Srila Prabhupada was there, and we had already had darshan. We were jovial and active. While I was joking with a friend Srila Prabhupada walked in, unannounced, fulfilling my longtime desire for intimate association with him. He was happy and friendly. It was a while before I could force my tongue to move, to take more advantage of this opportunity.

 

A recurring mood in this dream was that he appreciated and enjoyed the teasing exchanges we devotees were having with one another. He kept smiling and laughing lightly. He was so happy to see the closeness and affection between the devotees.

 

His grand humbleness was contagious; we felt awed to be so close to him–yet no one could come near him in his depth of humility. He was friendly and available and was gifting us with his casualness. We felt at once completely at ease with him and also internally flustered (which he was aware of), digging for speech and yet reveling in his presence, his being. I felt like a child set loose in a candy shop, who doesn’t know how to take full advantage of this one time enormous opportunity, because his hands can hold only so much, and his belly even less. These were all delicious feelings; all feelings in connection with Srila Prabhupada are sublime. It was pure joy, sheer happiness on an ecstatic level, to be there with him so intimately.

 

At times our sense of awe nervously but delightedly gave way to our irreverent teasing of each other (not of Srila Prabhupada though), showing off for Srila Prabhupada like children will do in front of loving parents. Feeling his fondness for us caused us to behave as capering young children, delighted beyond the ability to contain it. Our joy we expressed through our joking, and though at times it seemed we neglected Srila Prabhupada in these exchanges with each other, I also knew that it was not so, and that our relationships with each other, even when expressed through our good-humored frivolity, was in direct relationship with our mutual wellwishing father. I felt blessed, magically touched, and often found no way to formualte words of praise, or put forth intelligent questions to Srila Prabhupada. It was as if we expressed out hearts and intentions without words but rather through a spontaneous painting of our smiles, glances, and movements. A sort of natural dance, for the pleasure of Srila Prabhupada.

 

And he knew how happy we were, and he lingered solely as a gift especially for us. Such feelings and thoughts of the heart continually spoke to me as our familial exchanges charged the atmosphere with increasing heights of joy. This was Vaikuntha–a place totally without anxieties. Where Srila Prabhupad walked, he brought Vaikuntha.

 

I lost many of the words exchanged in this dream and was left more with the general mood as I have described. However, I remember that Srila Prabhupada said I was more enlightened than I knew. The way he said this made me feel strongly enthused, through his encouragement, and also humble. I saw how he empowers us with his own faith in us, and I know this is how we help each other too, and not by picking at faults.

 

Before Srila Prabhupada appeared, my friend had joked with me about having an acid tongue (I can’t remember the joke though), and when we told Srila Prabhupada about it he laughed. He ate a few bites of something I gave him, a piece of citrus fruit I think, and then he bit in one final time, but didn’t bite off the piece, and handed it back to me. I saw his teeth marks in it. Yesterday I read how one should do all one can to get maha-maha prasad, and I gratefully recalled times when I got to eat after Srila Prabhupada (oh and I now remember as I write this, how I was given an orange slice he had already sucked and eaten, at Bhaktivedanta Manor in 1977, and when I relished it, ii tasted like no orange I had ever tasted. It was perfumey and really indescribable), and as I recalled these special mercies, well naturally I also hankered after them, too. So this dream also fulfilled that craving. Anyway in the dream I took this remnant and placed it inside my lips and imagined it purifying my tongue, my words, making them sweeter, more like Srila Prabhupada’s. We began walking, and it seemed like more devotees were coming and this would be my last opportunity to talk before the men came. So I took the fruit out of my mouth. Srila Prabhupada stopped to lean against a sink and look out the window. I said, “Srila Prabhupada, I put the fruit you were eating, with your teeth marks in it, against my mouth, thinking to cure my acid tongue. If I focused it that way, would it be?”

 

He said, “If you think that way, why should it not happen?” which I immediately understood to mean that if I make that my goal, to speak only Krsna katha, then Krsna would help me achieve that, through whatever facilities were there.

 

And then I asked, “Or because it is maha-maha prasad, from you, would the effect be there anyway [consciously or not]?” This was asked also to please him, as in an enjoyable exchange.

 

Srila Prabhupada looked at me and gave me this long wide smile, with his teeth not showing, and answered with a long, sly, teasing: “Yeeeees”, in that low voice he sometimes has, as if to say: “Now you really understand.”

 

I understand that it is not by my efforts (such as focusing my intentions to improve my tongue through sucking on that maha) that I will become purified, but purely by the sublime and causeless mercy of the pure devotee and Krsna (through gifts like that maha).

 

And gifts such as the association of you wonderful devotees.

 

Thank you for everything,

your aspirant servant and sister,

Jayaradhe