Instilling proper habits in childhood

[Avinash]

If somebody does not do something bad, then there are two reasons for it: - (1) His conscience prevents him (2) He is afraid of being caught.

 

I think that conscience is more important than fear. This is because if I am not doing something because I am afraid of punishment, then I will do it once I find out some way to get away with it. But if my conscience prevents me from doing it, then I will not do it even if I know that I will not be caught.

 

It is well known that habits instilled in childhood days have much stronger effect on a person than those instilled latter. There may be various ways of instilling good habits, e.g. telling stories that teach morales.

 

But we are seeing that in present world, it is difficult for a person to survive if he is very nice. So, what qualities should be instilled in children? Should they be taught not to do anything unethical and illegal even if they are facing problems? Or, should they be taught to go along with the rest of the world?

[Gauracandra]

Avinash,

 

Great topic. A number of years ago I purchased a book called "The Book of Virtues: A Treasury of Great Moral Stories" by William J. Bennett (former Education secretary for the U.S.). Basically he has compiled stories with a moral basis to help in guiding children. Mostly they are from Western Civilization, but there are a few from the Mahabharata etc.... Perhaps I'll post a few quotes from this.

 

Here is one of my favorites (and the first in the book):

 

You know that the beginning is the most important part of any work, especially in the case of a young and tender thing; for that is the time at which the character is being formed and the desired impression is more readily taken... Shall we just carelessly allow children to hear any casual tales which may be devised by casual persons, and to receive into their minds ideas for the most part the very opposite of those which we should wish them to have when they are grown up?

 

We cannot.... Anything received into the mind at that age is likely to become indelible and unalterable; and therefore it is most important that the tales which the young first hear should be models of virtuous thoughts....

 

Then will our youth dwell in a land of health, amid fair sights and sounds, and receive the good in everything; and beauty, the effluence of fair works, shall flow into the eye and ear, like a health-giving breeze from a purer region, and insensibly draw the soul from the earliest years into likeness and sympathy with the beauty of reason.

 

There can be no nobler training than that.

 

-Plato's Republic

I must say I wish I had studied more of Plato in college, but all of my philosophy professors looked not so pleasant ... like they had been thinking way too long, about way too much, and still had no answers I didn't want to end up the same way

 

From this quote I especially like the idea of 'casual' people devising 'casual' tales. We see this so true today. Our children are raised on television, which more often than not just goes for the lowest common denominator. There is actually some good stuff out there (from television, movies, music) but you really have to search for it.

[Avinash]

Not only television, movies etc., but even people known to a child teach him many wrong things. One of these is giving too much of importance on how we pretend to be rather than what we really are. Example: If you invite others to your house, go to their houses, give them gifts on various occasions, ask about their family members, then you will be called as social even if in reality you are not at all concerned about them. But if you help people when they need and you do not do such frmalities, then no body will call you as social. I am not trying to say that formalities are bad. These are part of culture. But it is not sufficient to show to people that we care for them. Rather, we should really care for them. If we only pretend to be concerned about somebody, then we will severe ties with him, if his conditions are not good.

 

I feel that a person should be taught to be compassionate from his childhood.

[gHari]

While I have not been as successful as I would have hoped (at least not yet), based on my intimate relationship with my thirty year old son I can possibly give a few ideas.

 

I used to try to remember Nanda Maharaja when I was with my son. I somehow got the idea that his mischievous actions would not affect me as much. It seemed to work.

 

The other most important lesson from Prabhupada is the story of watering the root of the tree and therefore all the branches and twigs will be nourished properly. If we concentrate on loving Sri Krsna we will naturally be perfect parents and spouses.

 

Of course, setting a perfect Krsna conscious example complete with all vaishnava qualities will be best for setting the standard that the child will respect and emulate. When the world pulls them this way and that way, they will have a superior standard from which to reject the nonsense around them.

 

I abhor negative reinforcement and never had to harm my son in any way. Love can work. Although perhaps he was good many times simply out of respect, yet now for the most part he is still a good person - just a little covered over with the dirt of the Yuga. But somewhere not too far underneath is a vaishnava to whom one day I will bow.

 

For them too, even if only as a starter, learning that the center is Krsna will keep them safe from a lot until it is time for them to reject the glitter of the world for good.

[Gauracandra]

I still think to some degree people are genetically in the mode of goodness, passion, or ignorance. Thus, some children are much more predisposed to behaving properly. They will be quiet, introspective, and peaceful. Other children will be easily agitated, short tempered, and easily distracted. This view of mine comes simply by seeing children and their parents. Inevitably the calmest children are those of the parents I would identify as being in the mode of goodness. I have no scientific measurement for this, its just something I have observed.

 

So for those children who are not so predisposed to being good, stricter discipline is necessary I think to develop good moral character. Here is another quote from "The Book of Virtues":

 

This book is intended to aid in the time-honored task of the moral eduation of the young. Moral education - the training of the heart and mind toward the good - involves many things. It involves rules and precepts - the dos and don'ts of life with others - as well as explicit instruction, exhortation, and training. Moral education must provide training in good habits. Aristotle wrote that good habits formed at youth make all the difference. And moral education must affirm the central importance of moral example. It has been said that there is nothing more influential, more determinant, in a child's life than the moral power of quiet example. For children to take morality seriously they must be in the presence of adults who take morality seriously. And with their own eyes they must see adults take morality seriously

This reminds me of a great quote I heard a few months back. A person was discussing all the problems with the youth today (drugs, teen pregnancy, etc...) and said something quite profound I thought: "We don't have worse children today, we have worse parents". This is completely true. Children come into the world like lumps of clay. If their character isn't molded by the parents who take an active role, it will be molded by someone (television, peer pressure). This goes back again to Plato's comment on "casual" people telling "casual" tales.

 

[This message has been edited by Gauracandra (edited 11-23-2001).]

[Gauracandra]

Perhaps there are recessive genes My view is that there must be some underlying current that drives personality. Some kids can naturally just sit in one spot, others are completely restless.

 

There was a topic a few years back in the news called Emotional Quotient - EQ (as opposed to Intelligence Quotient - IQ). The researchers were trying to measure something beyond intelligence that helped to determine success etc... One test that they would do is to sit a child down and put like an M & M candy in front of them. They would ask the kids to not eat the candy for as long as they could hold out. Some kids would have no self-control and immediately eat, others would sit and wait.

 

These were young children. I think self-control can be learned, but for some it is easier. Some people are naturally predisposed to serenity, self-control, austerity, peacefulness etc.... but of course the reverse can occur also. Bad habits can also be learned.

[atma]

What about children born to the same parents and they have completely different nature? How genetics play a role there?

[gHari]

Perhaps our karma manifests in part through genetic make-up. This sounds like a Darwin topic. But crappy karma and we wear the jeans of a dog, so maybe it all fits into the big picture nicely.

[Gauracandra]

I think you are right Gaurahari. We take on certain bodily characteristics based on our karma. Why shouldn't this extend down to the level of DNA? So we get a suitable body based on our karma. Then we need to elevate ourselves perhaps against some of these bodily constraints. For some peacefullness will be easier to attain. But it is still possible for those who are easily agitated, to learn self-discipline and control the mind. It will just be harder.

[bhaktashab]

I also think this is a very interesting topic. My understanding is that a person’s nature is a combination of three factors.

1. The Condition of the Subtle Body

2. Genetic Makeup

3. Environmental Influence

The body one receives at the time of birth is a direct result of one’s previous activities; practically speaking ‘material body’ is synonymous with ‘karma’. It is also said that one’s allotment of happiness and distress is already determined at the time of birth. At birth there are two factors determining a person’s makeup, i.e. factor 1 and 2. It is definite that one inherits qualities through genetics; I have heard it said many times and in my experience I have seen it to be the case that the female child will generally inherit the qualities of the Father, while the male child generally inherits the qualities of the Mother. The subtle body, composed of mind, intelligence and false ego, contains many impressions (samskaras) from previous lives. These manifest as desire and hate – lust and its flipside. Sometimes it is found that some children are naturally inclined toward a particular activity and yet for others the same activity can be like poison. Gauracandra gave the example of some kids who can sit quietly in one spot whereas others are just too restless. It’s difficult to say which qualities are the results of which factor; I can only think that the arrangement is perfect. One’s new gross body will be a perfect match for the condition of one’s subtle body as dictated by the laws of karma.

The single biggest factor determining a person’s makeup, especially in areas of ethics and morality, is one’s up bringing. Environmental factors during childhood have a huge effect on the adult psyche. Practically speaking an upbringing is a process by which one inherits the intelligence, or lack of intelligence, from one’s elders. Intelligence is the faculty with which we discriminate between right and wrong. Therefore the possession of intelligence equates with the possession of virtue. When we think of intelligence we think of advancement in knowledge. Knowledge, as described in the Bhagavad-gita, depends upon goodness (sattva-guna). We find that those who are advanced in material knowledge like to think of themselves as intelligent. But as long as they are engaged in sinful activity their so-called advancement in knowledge is simply advancement in ignorance.

So it is the duty of the parents to teach the child virtue. This is done in two ways, by instruction and by example. Childhood is the training ground for adult life and therefore childhood should be the time we learn what is the purpose of life and what is the nature of this world. Prabhupada described that there are basically four classes of intelligence. For a child with first class intelligence you can explain to him, “Don’t touch fire, if you do it will cause you pain” This instruction will be enough for him to learn not to touch fire. A child with second-class intelligence even after hearing this instruction requires seeing the result of touching fire, upon seeing another child burn his finger he then learns not to touch hot flames. A child with third-class intelligence, after hearing the instruction and seeing another child burn himself, still doesn’t understand that fire burns, thus he has to himself put his finger in the flame in order to associate fire with pain. A child with fourth-class intelligence will repeatedly put his hand into the fire and not learn that it is wrong even after repeated burns. I would say that one’s capacity to fit into one of these classes is due to karma. It is not that of the first three classes one will necessarily become more virtuous than the other, as that depends on what lessons are being taught, it just means that the children will learn differently, but they learn nonetheless. I would also say that in different areas of interest an individual will display sometimes first class intelligence and sometimes third class intelligence. For example children usually learn quickly not to cross the road without looking left – right – left again and listening for cars. But the same child may take quite a bit longer to learn that eating sugar candy is bad for you as it rots your teeth.

Discipline must be enforced upon children, as I previously mentioned childhood is the training ground for adult life, and as we know adult life is not all fun and games, and therefore children should be taught the seriousness of life. This seriousness means that for every action there is either a punishment or reward. Sometimes a stick is needed to reinforce valuable instructions upon a naughty child; in fact to not use corporal punishment when it is necessary is something I would consider as child abuse. If the child acts sinfully and gets away with it due to his parents apathy for strict discipline then he will grow up with a misconception of the nature of life. In adult life if we perform a sinful action then we will reap the result in due course. This result is like the whipping stick of maya. It is essential the child learn about such reactions from his loving parents prior to being released into the ‘real world’.

 

“Humility; pridelessness; non-violence; tolerance; simplicity; approaching a bona fide spiritual master; cleanliness; steadiness; self-control; renunciation of the objects of sense gratification; absence of false ego; the perception of the evil of birth, death, old age and disease; detachment; freedom from entanglement with children, wife, home and the rest; even-mindedness amid pleasant and unpleasant events; constant and unalloyed devotion to Me; aspiring to live in a solitary place; detachment from the general mass of people; accepting the importance of self-realization; and philosophical search for the Absolute Truth -- all these I declare to be knowledge, and besides this whatever there may be is ignorance.” (Bg 13.8-12)

 

Krishna here declares these virtues as knowledge. The greatest virtue in this list that must be taught by instruction and example is “constant and unalloyed devotion to Me.” I believe that if we cultivate this virtue especially then the rest will follow. There are many lists of divine qualities throughout the Vaisnava scriptures; we should know them well if we expect to be able to teach them to our children. I think moral tales are fantastic; the Mahabharata and Ramayana are especially wonderful, but all fairy tales teaching divine character can be read to children.

I hope that sheds some light on the subject.

Hare Krsna.

 

 

[Gauracandra]

So here is a question... what are the proper habits we wish to instill. For instance, I have a view about western culture vs. eastern culture. Western culture, even religious culture, stresses the importance of hard work and accumulation of material items (I put this under the category of "building heaven on earth"). While eastern culture tends to say "Don't bother with this material existence, fix your mind on God".

 

If we give the values of detachment, and renunciation, then our children will grow up not really pursuing careers, making money, and building up financial independence. Instead, the stress will be on renunciation. To me it is a fact that a materially successful congregation will lead to a materially successful temple. A temple that is sound financially will be more likely to attract people through spiritual education. At the same time an impoverished temple will constantly be worrying about paying bills, and will be in "crisis mode".

 

So do we really want to teach renunciation to our children? Or should we tell them to go out there into the world, succeed, climb the corporate ladder, and use that position and money to better the community.

 

This is just one instance where the question of what habits to instill can be complicated.

[bhaktashab]

I think we have to identify the nature of our children early on. We can't pretend that every child will become a brahmana. Whatever qualities our children display we should encourage them in that area, whether it be brahminical, administrative, business or menial service. If we are going to revive the varnasrama culture then we need all the classes, not just brahmanas. There is nothing wrong with performing one's duty dharma, while cultivating one's eternal duty sanatana dharma. I think it is better to encourage those who are inclined to become materially succesful so that they can practice charity etc... At the same time we shouldn't hold any illusions about the entaglement of material life. In this way devotees will be encouraged to gradually rise to the topmost platform, even if it takes more than one life.

 

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shab.

[atma]

 

Anybody can provide the purport in the Bhagavatam where Srila Prabhupada said that sons are like the mothers? I think is in the Third Canto in the chapter of Devahuti marrying Kardama Muni. Prabhupada elaborates about compatibility in marriage and how a 'deva' boy shouldn't marry a 'rakshasa' girl and how important the character of the wife is because the sons will be like her. I guess that is genetics from the mother side.

 

I agree that not only genetics play a part here, environment counts a lot and more than that what the children learn when they are little. Always come to mind the songs that we learned when we were little, for me most of them are silly but I do remember very well all the prayers that I learned with my grandma and how I had to kneel in front of a picture of Jesus and Mary every evening before going to bed and pray to them.

 

For the devotee children even though some of them maybe alienated from the Society where they born, they will always remember what they learned (ok, the bad things too) But in general most of them have positive experiences and they always say that the frienships that they developed there last for a lifetime and somehow or other they always remember the Lord. Another thing that I noticed around here, just thinking of 5 gurukuli guys in the block, 4 of them are celibate, tell me about training from chilhood.

[Gauracandra]

How about compiling a list of the 10 most important habits to teach children. Any suggestions?

[Gauracandra]

Here is a list of virtues from "The Book of Virtues":

 

1. Self-Discipline

2. Compassion

3. Responsibility

4. Friendship

5. Work

6. Courage

7. Perseverance

8. Honesty

9. Loyalty

10. Faith

[suryaz]

Originally posted by Gauracandra:

Here is a list of virtues from "The Book of Virtues":

 

1. Self-Discipline

2. Compassion

3. Responsibility

4. Friendship

5. Work

6. Courage

7. Perseverance

8. Honesty

9. Loyalty

10. Faith

 

Love and Understanding - yes without understanding there is not love

 

[bhaktashab]

“These are the general principles to be followed by all human beings: truthfulness, mercy, austerity (observing fasts on certain days of the month), bathing twice a day, tolerance, discrimination between right and wrong, control of the mind, control of the senses, nonviolence, celibacy, charity, reading of scripture, simplicity, satisfaction, rendering service to saintly persons, gradually taking leave of unnecessary engagements, observing the futility of the unnecessary activities of human society, remaining silent and grave and avoiding unnecessary talk, considering whether one is the body or the soul, distributing food equally to all living entities (both men and animals), seeing every soul (especially in the human form) as a part of the Supreme Lord, hearing about the activities and instructions given by the Supreme Personality of Godhead (who is the shelter of the saintly persons), chanting about these activities and instructions, always remembering these activities and instructions, trying to render service, performing worship, offering obeisances, becoming a servant, becoming a friend, and surrendering one's whole self. O King Yudhisthira, these thirty qualifications must be acquired in the human form of life. Simply by acquiring these qualifications, one can satisfy the Supreme Personality of Godhead.” (SB 11.8.12)

 

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shab.

[Gauracandra]

One of the biggest stumbling blocks I see for devotees to raise wholesome children is the outside influence of non-devotees. Now I don't mean this in a "they're not devotees so they are bad" sort of way. But I see this in my community. Many non-devotee children play with the devotee children, which is fine. But so many of them curse left and right and are very cynical about the world.

 

I have seen this attitude rub off on some very nice devotee children. Some very sweet indian kid may come over, and before long, that sweetness is taken away abit. I guess the only thing one can do is have very active parental supervision. Really I think this is the main thing missing in many childrens's (devotee and non-devotee) lives.

[suryaz]

Originally posted by Gauracandra:

One of the biggest stumbling blocks I see for devotees to raise wholesome children is the outside influence of non-devotees.....

Gauracandra

 

The following are segments from an essay I wrote once upon a day. I hope they help you somehow

 

Durkheim was the first anthropologist to recognise the power of enculturation in human society; in this connection he wrote (1895:6):

 

“...it becomes immediately evident that all education is a continuous effort to impose in the child ways of seeing, feeling and acting which he could not have arrived at spontaneously. From the very first hours of life, we compel him to eat, drink, and sleep at regular hours; we constrain him to cleanliness, calmness, and obedience; later we exert pressure upon him in order that he may learn proper consideration for others, respect for customs and conventions, the need for work, etc. If, in time this constraint ceases to be felt, it is because it gradually gives rise to habits and to internal tendencies that render constraints unnecessary.”

 

Thus by the time a child is two or three years old the child is already conditioned by a particular cultural tradition (Barrett1984:55). In other words the child has learned the stereotyped verbal language, gestures and cognitive symbols that make up language and etiquette, of the primary ideologies recognised and established by the child's group as part of their culture.

 

In this connection Geddes (Lecture 3:1994; Ainsworth 1967; Wellman 1990) further explained that before a child learns to speak, the child has begun to classify and categorise his/her environment in ways that are particular to that society. As the child develops a cognitive cultural frame, the child is able to put sentences together and identify categories in both positive and negative terms. Through this action the child becomes reflexive and self-aware (Astington 1988:850).

 

This culturally conditioned self-awareness not only "provides a key to inward identity" but it unites society as a whole and puts into motion a process whereby society reproduces itself from one generation to the next (Folson 1973:75; Bates & Plog 1990:240). This process is called enculturation. Enculturation involves both the explicit and unconscious moulding of a child's character, to the cultural understanding thehis/her environment through the application of culturally defined rules and regulations imposed on the child by his/her family and society. And since all cultures are different then all cultures will have a different set of primary ideologies or ways of categorising the universe, making sense of their world, creating systems of socialisation, defining the socially accepted role of adults and ways of preparing their children for adulthood….

 

 

….According to Herslovits (1955:453) there are two aspects of enculturation; one is "early life" conditioning, or the acquisition of primary ideology described above. And the other aspect of enculturation continues throughout adult life. For maturing and mature members of a society, this process of enculturation involves preparing people for adulthood, teaching people about new concepts and new responsibilities associated with changing positions and changing circumstances in society (Herskovits 1955:453;Seymour-Smith 1986:261).

 

 

[This message has been edited by suryaz (edited 12-02-2001).]

[bhaktashab]

Originally posted by atma:

With my own kids I observe that bad influence that it's not only coming from 'outsiders' but also from the same 'devotee' friends, that are not been taught by their 'devotee' parents.

 

I came from a meat eating, hard core smokers, easy to swear family and I don't think I'm doing that bad now, but it hurts that the children have to grow with bad influence of other devotee children because the devotee parents don't care.

I can sympathise with you atma. Although I have no children of my own [yet], I am appalled by the atrocious behaviour of the children in our community. It makes me sick to see devotees that don't care enough about their children to sufficiently discipline them. Another symptom of the 'hippy mentality' which still permeates the consciousness of Iskcon. I think there is a great need to educate the incompetent parents in our institution perhaps by those parents who are qualified. It may even be neccesary to look outside of Iskcon for help (although we shouldn't have to).

Here are three quotes from Niti-sastra by Sri Chanakya Pandit:

 

10. Wise men should always bring up their sons in various moral ways, for children who have knowledge of niti-sastra and are well-behaved become a glory to their family.

 

11. Those parents who do not educate their sons are their enemies; for as is a crane among swans, so are ignorant sons in a public assembly.

 

12. Many a bad habit is developed through overindulgence, and many a good one by chastisement, therefore beat your son as well as your pupil; never indulge them.

 

Why should we be sentimental about raising children? There are already enough new-agers around promoting varna-sankara. We can't pretend that just because we are devotees that means our children will automatically grow up to be sadhus. We seriously need to train our children in all aspects of morality, ethics, social etiquette and manners. This is the education that will really help them later in life.

 

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shab.

[gHari]

Just surrender.

 

Give up the attachment to the mind as the lord and master. It is the mind who demands these silly lists of do's and don'ts. Instead of remembering Krsna we will be remembering our little shopping lists for this and that; and Krsna will be locked out.

 

He knows the next step. Indeed, ONLY He knows the next step. To instill proper habits in our kids, it will be more effective to work on ourselves instead of our kids.

[Gauracandra]

Gaurahari,

 

Perhaps. I do believe as I posted before that today we have worse parents and not worse kids. However, lists of to dos and to don'ts are very important.

 

It is easy to look down upon "mere morality" but to me if you can't even follow basic morality and standards of conduct, it is very unlikely you'll ever be Krsna Conscious. Many people speak theoretically about not needing morality and simply surrendering to Krsna. But I have yet to see anyone who looks down on morality in such a way as being very exemplary. Its usually just an excuse for poor behavior and a lack of self-control.

 

Children need guidance and strict rules of behavior. If we just let them run around doing what they "feel" like we are just leading them down a road to ruin.

 

Gauracandra

 

[This message has been edited by Gauracandra (edited 12-03-2001).]

[gHari]

Krsna gave a very short list of do's and don'ts, namely: remember Me, and do not forget Me. Then He reduced that to one single instruction.

 

It is our mind that thinks we need more - because it wants to be in control. If we are attached to keeping the mind in control, then I guess having guidelines is one way of censoring our foolishness.

 

However, I feel it is important to keep the real message in mind at least. Otherwise the watered-down version will dominate our lives, and we will continue to live completely on the mental platform. We will be nice guys for sure, but have no real relationship with reality.

[atma]

With my own kids I observe that bad influence that it's not only coming from 'outsiders' but also from the same 'devotee' friends, that are not been taught by their 'devotee' parents.

 

An example: just newly arrived here, one of my girls came running to asked me permission to go to 'Subway' with one girlfriend. I was shocked and I explained to her that it was a terrible place to go like Mac Donalds (that she knew that was a meat eating place but not Subway). When I asked her why this girl had to go and eat there she told me that the girls parents were taking all the family!!!. I was speechless for few seconds because the parents are old devotees, he cooks for the devotees and she is a pujari. I told my daughter that in our family we are not going to restaurants where they cook meat and that was it.

Another instance with the younger one also asking permission to go to a famous Taco place with a different girlfriend. Again I had to be the 'meanie' and said no. What is wrong with eating at Govindas?

 

A few days ago was a friend birthday and she took a group of us to a movie and at the end she suggested to go to Subway and a pizza place. We finished in Govindas that was the right thing to do. If she wanted to feed 'devotees' the proper thing was to offer prasada and I told her so and other devotees also refused to go anywhere else. It just amazed me how easy becomes to go to this restaurants where meat is been cook and don't think anything about it and because the adults do it the children don't see any harm on it. What are we teaching to our children?

 

After a few nos to go to outside restaurants my daughters questioned me about restaurants that we went in India but I told them the difference, one of them was a dosa, idli place, and the other was a marwari pure vegetarian restaurant. Maybe I did the wrong thing taking them outside, I know that we should eat only Krsna prasada, ok, my fault but I will never allowed them to go to meat eating places while they are living under my roof and they know that.

 

Yesterday they were telling me how bad the other girls swear and how difficult was for them not to do it. What shall I do? Keep them inside the house without any friends because they may get contaminated? Or just let it be and believe in their better judgement?

 

I came from a meat eating, hard core smokers, easy to swear family and I don't think I'm doing that bad now, but it hurts that the children have to grow with bad influence of other devotee children because the devotee parents don't care.

[Bhaktavasya]

Originally posted by atma:

With my own kids I observe that bad influence that it's not only coming from 'outsiders' but also from the same 'devotee' friends, that are not been taught by their 'devotee' parents.

 

An example: just newly arrived here, one of my girls came running to asked me permission to go to 'Subway' with one girlfriend. I was shocked and I explained to her that it was a terrible place to go like Mac Donalds (that she knew that was a meat eating place but not Subway). When I asked her why this girl had to go and eat there she told me that the girls parents were taking all the family!!!. I was speechless for few seconds because the parents are old devotees, he cooks for the devotees and she is a pujari. I told my daughter that in our family we are not going to restaurants where they cook meat and that was it.

Another instance with the younger one also asking permission to go to a famous Taco place with a different girlfriend. Again I had to be the 'meanie' and said no. What is wrong with eating at Govindas?

 

A few days ago was a friend birthday and she took a group of us to a movie and at the end she suggested to go to Subway and a pizza place. We finished in Govindas that was the right thing to do. If she wanted to feed 'devotees' the proper thing was to offer prasada and I told her so and other devotees also refused to go anywhere else. It just amazed me how easy becomes to go to this restaurants where meat is been cook and don't think anything about it and because the adults do it the children don't see any harm on it. What are we teaching to our children?

 

After a few nos to go to outside restaurants my daughters questioned me about restaurants that we went in India but I told them the difference, one of them was a dosa, idli place, and the other was a marwari pure vegetarian restaurant. Maybe I did the wrong thing taking them outside, I know that we should eat only Krsna prasada, ok, my fault but I will never allowed them to go to meat eating places while they are living under my roof and they know that.

 

Yesterday they were telling me how bad the other girls swear and how difficult was for them not to do it. What shall I do? Keep them inside the house without any friends because they may get contaminated? Or just let it be and believe in their better judgement?

 

I came from a meat eating, hard core smokers, easy to swear family and I don't think I'm doing that bad now, but it hurts that the children have to grow with bad influence of other devotee children because the devotee parents don't care.

Even if a devotee of Lord Nityananda enters a Subway shop, my faith will remain unwavering that he/she is there to order a veggie and cheese sandwich.

 

How wonderful are the followers of Lord Nityananda, that whereever they go, an auspicious 'Hari Bol' is bound to emit from their lotus mouths, blessing all the unsuspecting meat-eaters, who may otherwise never hear transcendental sound vibration or get a chance to gaze on the sweet faces of the devotees of the Sweet Lord!