atma Posted June 14, 2002 Report Share Posted June 14, 2002 Jaya Pataka Swami is in town and last night he showed a slide show of the last Gour Purnima festival and the parikramas after that and made me homesick. Sridham Mayapur is so beautiful and merciful. I saw so many places and friends and I was thinking all the time during the show, "that should be me in there, hey look there is my dear friend, so and so, how I miss their association". One of the worst parts (emotionally) was when I saw my house in Mayapur, so many memories. The deities, the Ganges, everything broke my heart. The final stroke were the slides from Calcutta Mandir, when I saw the beautiful and most compassionate Sri Sri Radha Govinda and the little Radha Gopinath deities I couldn't stop my tears. They are so merciful, I was their pujari. I bathed, dressed, did aratik and put them to sleep. Radha Gopinath were Srila Prabhupada's travelling deities. So much nectar. How karma change. Now I have so much karmi asociation and is becoming harder and harder to trying to be a devotee or even appreciate them.. I guess this is my test. Maharaja was very kind to me and in the end he told me :"we're missing you in Mayapur". Maybe one day I may go back there and leave this body in Sridham Mayapur. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pita das Posted June 14, 2002 Report Share Posted June 14, 2002 better prabhu that you go before then to be able to render more service to the Dieies and assure your place at Thier Lotus Feet. I always long to be back in Sri Dham Vrindaban and Mayapur . Please bless me that I will make it back soon and I bless you back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gHari Posted June 15, 2002 Report Share Posted June 15, 2002 Atma, Atma, Atma. Did it not seem that the Deities had sent Maharaja to explain Their situation to you? I hope you can follow your heart as soon as possible. g Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atma Posted June 15, 2002 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2002 Thank you Pita das and gHari prabhus for your blessings. I don't know what is coming in my life and I only depend in the blessings of kind vaisnavas like yourselves. In this material world is danger at every step and I have to have complete faith in Their Lorships that everything is for my spiritual advancement. Many times I don't understand why things happen and I just have to accept it for my own benefit and peace of mind. I can think of Their Lorships in separation and continue my spiritual path wherever I'm. Sri Sri Rukmini Dwarakadish are so beautiful and opulent and They are so kind to me and my girls taking care of us at every moment. I'm very grateful to Them. Every time that I see Their faces I feel very peaceful and enchanted. Maharaja also showed a place where Sri Narottama Thakura entered a lake or river and he dissolved in milk, he became milk. Very nice pastime. He also showed the new temple in Haridaspur where Sri Haridas Thakur chanted japa and I remembered when I was brand new in India and we went to a Nama Hatta program over there and was just a little house and we had this huge festival celebrating the appearance of Srila Bhaktisidhanta Sarasvati, thousands of villagers participated. Some plans were there for me and 2 other girls to stay behind to develop the temple but the proximity with Bangladesh and rogues discouraged any idea about it. India for me was mostly a very happy time, very easy life in a way. I don't think that we'll go back anytime soon because of the situation with Pakistan and the world in general but in my heart always will be a very special place for Sri Mayapur and Sri Vrindavan dham. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pita das Posted June 15, 2002 Report Share Posted June 15, 2002 HH JAYA PATAKA SWAMI MOST MERCYFUL FORM IS IN DISCRIBING THE HOLY DHAM TO THE DEVOTTEES NO ONE IS AS EXPERT AS HIM I NEVER TIED OF HEARING FROM HIM ON THESE TOPICS Atam the last time I was on my way to Shree Vrindaban Dham there was a Plague alert and travel warnings do not let these obstacles hold you back. Service to the Dieties is tansendenal to even nuceluar war prabhuji. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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