Political Humor

[Gauracandra]

A few days after George W. Bush’s inauguration, a man came up to the Marine on duty at the White House and said “I’d like to see President Clinton.”

 

The Marine politely answered “Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president.”

 

The man said, “Oh, OK” and walked away.

 

The next day the Marine was again on duty and the same man approached and again asked to see President Clinton.

 

The Marine again answered, “Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president.”

 

Again the man answered, “Oh, OK” and walked away.

 

The next day the same man approached the same Marine and again asked to see President Clinton.

 

The Marine, a little annoyed, said “Sir, I’ve told you, Mr. Clinton is no longer president. Don’t you understand that?”

 

“Yes, I do” said the man, “but I just enjoy hearing it.”

 

The Marine smiled and said, “See you tomorrow.”

 

[Gauracandra]

The joke forums are new so I don't know how far we can go with the humor. Personally I find the next joke pretty harmless. But if you find the humor a bit off color, I apologize. I think once we get used to this new forum we'll have a better gauge of what

is acceptable.

 

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In a train car there was Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, a spectacular looking blonde woman and an old woman. After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, Clinton had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

 

1) The blonde thought – “That rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the old lady, who in turn must have slapped his face.”

 

2) The old woman thought – “That dirty old Bill Clinton laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him.”

 

3) Bill Clinton thought – “George put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me.”

 

4) George Bush thought – “I hope there’s another tunnel soon so I can smack Clinton again.”

 

[Tarun]

We've all heard how fish adds material intelligence, while hot milk adds spiritual intelligence.

Our Japanese pupil below gives further proof: zAstra-pramANa

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It was the first day of school in the Marysville, Ohio, school. A new student named Suzuki, son of a Honda executive, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's start by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me liberty or give me death?"

Only one hand was raised, that of Suzuki. "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.

"Fine," said the teacher. "Now who said, 'Government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the earth.'?"

Again, Suzuki's hand was the only one raised. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," he said.

The teacher said, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki knows more about our country's history than any of you."

From the back of the classroom came a quick grunt: "Screw the Japs."

"Who said that?" demanded the teacher.

Suzuki quickly said, "Lee Iococca, 1982."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm going to puke."

Suzuki put his hand up. "George Bush, to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells "Oh yeah? Suck this."

Suzuki jumps up waving his hand. "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997."

Now with a frenzy, someone shouts, "You little snit. If you say anything else, I'm going to kill you!"

Suzuki says calmly, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around, one of the kids says,

"Oh damn, now we're really in big trouble!"

Suzuki says, "Arthur Andersen, ENRON, World.Com..., 2002."