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New Math and Other Truths

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atma

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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

 

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee= production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

 

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that

she doesn't need.

 

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

 

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who fins such a man.

 

HAPPINESS

 

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

 

MEMORY

 

Any married manshould forget his mistakes: there is no use in two people remembering the same thing.

 

APPEARANCE

 

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

 

A woman marries a man expecting that he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

 

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

 

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

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