I am......part 3

[atma]

I AM CHINESE!

 

Wai...

 

I'm not a cook. an IT guy, or the owner of a laundromat

I don't live with my parents,

I don't eat dog.

And I don't drive a souped up Civic.

 

And I don't know Ping, Ming or Wing from Markham

Although I'm certain they are very rice, I mean nice people.

 

I use chopsticks not a fork

I don't drive in a sidewalk.

I believe in giving cash, not gifts

 

And I pronounce it HELLO, not HERRO.

 

I can proudly fly my country's flag on a tank during a massacre at Tianamen Square.

 

Dim sum IS brunch,

Gwai-Los ARE white folk

and Jet Li can kick Van Damme'back side anyday.

 

China is the largest country in Asia

The FIRST nation of Ping-Pong

and the BEST remaining communist country!!

 

My name is FONG!!

AND I AM CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I AM AMERICAN....

 

I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded or generally well-liked.

 

I don't live in a clean place,

I don't eat nutritiously very often,

And I don't drive very well.

 

I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,

Although I'm certain they weren't American.

 

I drink beer...not good beer,

I don't use utensils when eating

I believe in guns for settling disputes, not discussions,

 

And I pronounce it AIN'T not AREN'T

 

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack....until I go anywhere.

 

Burger King IS fine dining.

Cracker Jack IS a vegetable and WWF wrestling IS real.

 

The United States IS the ONLY country in the world.

the FIRST nation of ignorance,

and the BEST part of South America!!

 

My name is Johnny Bob Jimmy Joe Ray

AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!