Guest guest Posted September 2, 2001 Report Share Posted September 2, 2001 Ms. Nice Guy - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn't have" Also known as: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormat Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly Disadvantages: May wise up someday Old Yeller - "You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??" Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell Advantages: Pays attention to you Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans Sickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite" Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Glumpy Advantages: Predictable Disadvantages: Contagious The Bosser - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look." Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, yes Mom Advantages: Often right Disadvantages: Often right, but so what? Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?" Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon Honey Advantages: Easily soothed Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed Wild Woman out of Control - "I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun." Also known as: Fast girl, freewheeler, goodtime charleena, passed out Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs Huffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at" Also known as: No fun, humorless prig, Cold fish, Chilly proposition, iceberg, Snarly Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you Disadvantages: You will have no friends Woman from Mars - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship" Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now" Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous Advantages: Funny, intelligent uninhibited Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amanpeter Posted September 2, 2001 Report Share Posted September 2, 2001 Have had some experience with `Wild Women From Mars Out of Control` and never quite recovered. Perhaps there's a twelve-step program somewhere... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2001 Report Share Posted September 2, 2001 To be fair hear is the other side: Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?" Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV." Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk Advantages: Stays put; predictable Disadvantages: Royal pain in the ass Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did." Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'." Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' Dumb Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig Lazybones - "Zzzzzz" Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict Advantages: Well rested; easy target Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfull your dreams The Sneak - "Who, me?" Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a Bitch Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt Disadvantages: May be having time of his life Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?" Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster Advantages: Perpetually aroused Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--" Also known as: Struggling artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind, Fool Advantages: Tells good stories Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus" Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?" Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amanpeter Posted September 2, 2001 Report Share Posted September 2, 2001 No comment, but I DON'T iron shirts and I'm not THAT old...Zzzzzzz! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
animesh Posted September 6, 2001 Report Share Posted September 6, 2001 "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?" You missed something. The complete sentence should read, "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, hair color, and boy friend?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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