Women Power

[atma]

 

I got this from a friend, maybe the military can use the advice.

 

Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for

a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,

moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.

 

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like

grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men

in turbans tremble.

 

We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and

their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left

already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good

man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning.

We have nothing to lose.

 

We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and

the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound.

We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no

food at all!

 

We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware

stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no

problem.

 

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please

... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families

at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.

 

Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for

how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know

how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the

government's help!

 

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl

like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.

 

 

[Tarun]

Excellent match. Symbiotic congruence.