Siddhi Lalasa

[raga]

In the loving memory of Bhaktivinoda Thakura on his appearance day I am presenting the final chapter of his Gitamala entitled Siddhi-lalasa, "Longing for Perfection", which illustrates the innermost aspiration of a raganugiya sadhaka.

[raga]

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<center>SIDDHI LALASA OF GITAMALA

 

by Bhaktivinoda Thakura

 

 

SONG ONE

 

kabe gaura-vane suradhunI taTe,

‘hA rAdhe hA kRSNa’ bole |

kAGdiyA beDAbo, deha sukha chADi

nAnA latA taru tale || 1 ||</center>

“When will I wander in the forest of Gaura on the banks of Ganga, the river of gods? Shouting “Ha Radhe! Ha Krishna!” in the midst of trees and vines, I will cry and forget all bodily joys.

 

<center>(kabe) zvapaca-gRhete maGgiyA khaibo

pibo sarasvatI-jala |

puline puline gaDA-gaDi dibo

kori kRSNa-kolA holo || 2 ||</center>

“When will I beg from the homes of the untouchables, drinking the water of the Sarasvati river? In a faltering voice on the banks of the river I will loudly call out for Krishna.”

 

<center>(kabe) dhAma-vAsI-jane praNati koriyA,

mAgibo kRpAra leza |

vaiSNava-caraNa-reNu gAya mAkhi

dhori avadhUta veza || 3 ||</center>

“When will I bow down to the residents of the dhama, receiving a parcel of their mercy? Dressed in the cloth of an avadhuta, I will smear the dust of the Vaishnavas’ feet on me.”

 

<center>(kabe) gauDa-braja-jane bheda nA dekhibo

hoibo baraja-vAsI |

(takhana) dhAmera svarUpa sphuribe nayane

hoibo rAdhAra dAsI || 4 ||</center>

“When will I see the difference between the residents of Gaura-mandala and Vraja-mandala, thus becoming a resident of Vraja? Beholding the svarupa of the dhama before my eyes, I will become a maidservant of Radha!”

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SONG TWO

 

dekhite dekhite bhulibo vA kabe

nija-sthUla-paricoya |

nayane heribo braja-pura-zobhA

nitya cid-Ananda-moya || 1 ||</center>

“When, O when will I forget my gross bodily identity? Before my eyes, will I behold the beauty of the village of Vraja, laden with everlasting spiritual joy!

 

<center>bRSabhAnu-pure janama loibo

yAvaTe vivAha ha’be |

braja-gopI-bhAva hoibe svabhAva

Ano-bhAva nA rohibe || 2 ||</center>

“I will take birth in the town of Vrisabhanu and be married in Yavat. I will be in the mood of a Vraja-gopi, and no other mood will I accept!”

 

<center>nija-siddha-deha nija-siddha-nAma

nija-rUpa-sva-vasana |

rAdhA-kRpA-bole lobhibo vA kabe

kRSNa-prema-prakaraNa || 3 ||</center>

“In my very own spiritual body with my siddha-name, with my special form and clothes, I will learn the nature of Krishna-prema by the grace of Radha.”

 

<center>jamunA-salila-AharaNe giyA

bujhibo yugala-rasa |

prema-mugdha ho’ye pAgalinI-prAya

gAibo rAdhAra yaza || 4 ||</center>

“I will fetch water from Yamuna, realizing the rapturous mellows of the Divine Couple. Bewildered by prema, I will sing the glories of Radha like a madwoman!”

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<font face="Georgia" color=darkslategray><center>SONG THREE

 

hena kAle habe bilAsa maJjarI

anaGga maJjarI Ara |

amare heriya ati kRpa kori

bolibe bacana sAra || 1 ||</center>

“At this time, Vilasa Manjari and Ananga Manjari will arrive, bestowing their mercy upon me and speaking the essence of all words.”

 

<center>eso, eso, sakhI! zrI-lalitA-gaNe

janibo tomare Aja |

gRha-kathA chari rAdhA-kRSNa bhajo

tyAjiyA dharama-lAja || 2 ||</center>

“Come, come sakhi! You are one of those in the group of Lalita. Give up all household talks, give up your dharma of shyness and worship Radha and Krishna!”

 

<center>se madhura vAnI zuniyA e jana

se dunhara zrI-caraNe |

Azraya loibe duGhe kRpa kori

loibe lalita-sthane || 3 ||</center>

“Hearing these sweet words from these two, I will take shelter of their feet. Giving me shelter and bestowing their mercy upon me, they will take me to the place of Lalita.”

 

<center>lalitA sundarI sadaya hoiya

koribe amare dAsI |

sva-kuJja-kutire dibena basati

jAni sebA-abhilASI || 4 ||</center>

“The beautiful Lalita will mercifully accept me as one of her maidservants, giving me a residence in a small cottage in her kunja. I will then understand all aspirations for seva.”

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<center>SONG FOUR

 

palya-dAsI kori lalitA sundarI

amare loiyA kabe |

zrI-rAdhikA-pade kale milaibe

ajJa-sebA samarpibe || 1 ||</center>

“The beautiful Lalita will take me as one of her maidservants. She will bring me in touch with the feet of Sri Radhika, engaging me in service according to her orders.”

 

<center>zrI rUpa maJjarI saGge jabo kabe

rasa-seba-zikSa-tare |

tad-anugA hoye rAdhA-kuNDa tate

rohibo harSitAntare || 2 ||</center>

“Sri Rupa Manjari will take me along with her, giving me instructions on rasa-seva. Following her to the banks of Radha Kunda, I will stay with her, feeling great satisfaction in my heart.”

 

<center>zrI vizAkhA-pade saGgIta zikhibo

kRSNa-lIlA rasamaya |

zrI rati maJjarI zrI rasa maJjarI

hoibe sabe sadaya || 3 ||</center>

“At the feet of Sri Visakha, I will learn singing songs laden with the rapture of Krishna’s pastimes. Sri Rati Manjari and Sri Rasa Manjari will bestow their mercy unto me.”

 

<center>parama Anande sakale miliya

rAdhikA caraNe rabo |

ei parAkASThA siddhi kabe habe

pabo rAdhA-pada saba || 4 ||</center>

“In supreme joy we will all meet at the feet of Radhika. When will I reach this pinnacle of perfection, attaining the feet of Radhika?”

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<center>SONG 5

 

cintAmaNi-maya rAdhA-kuNDa-taTa

taha kuJja zata zata |

prabAla bidruma maya taru-latA

mukta-phale abanata || 1 ||</center>

“The banks of Radha Kunda, made of divine touch-stone, are filled with hundreds and hundreds of forest bowers which are filled with trees and vines made of coral, which are bowing down under the weight of their pearl-fruits.”

 

<center>svAnanda-sukhadA kuJja manohara

tahate kuTIra zobhe |

basiya tathaya gabo kRSNa nAma

kabe kRSNa-dasya hobe || 2 ||</center>

“In an enchanting kunja called Svananda Sukhada is my small cottage. Living there, I will chant the name of Krishna, longing for His service.”

 

<center>emona samaya muralira gAna,

pasibe e dAsI-kAne |

Ananda matibo sakala bhulibo,

sri-kRSNa-vamsira gane || 3 ||</center>

“At this time, the song of the Murali will enter the ears of this maidservant. My mind filled with joy, forgetting everything, I listen to the song of Sri Krishna’s flute.”

 

<center>radhe radhe boli murali dakibe

madIya Izwari nAma |

zuniya camaki uthibe e dAsI

kemon koribe prAna || 4 ||</center>

“‘Radhe! Radhe!’, the murali sings the names of my mistress. Astonished in hearing the song, this maidservant will stand up, her life-air not knowing which way to go!”

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<center>SONG 6

 

nirjana kuTIre zrI rAdhA-caraNa

smaraNe thAkibA rata |

zrI rUpa maJjarI dhIre dhIre Asi

kahibe amaya kota || 1 ||</center>

“In my solitary cottage I remain engaged in thinking about the feet of Sri Radha. Slowly I will see Sri Rupa Manjari approaching me. She speaks to me:”

 

<center>bolibe o’ sakhi! ki koro basiya,

dekhaha bahire asi |

yugala milana zobha nirUpama

hoibe caraNa dAsI || 2 ||</center>

“O sakhi! Why are you sitting here? Come outside and see! The Divine Couple about to meet, and you will be one of the maidservants at Their feet!”

 

<center>svArasikI siddhi braja-gopI dhana

parama-caJcala sati |

yogIra dheyana nirvizeSa jJAna

na pAya ekhane sthiti || 3 ||</center>

“The treasure of Vraja-gopis’ perfected flow of rapturous emotions is both chaste and supremely dynamic. The yogis’ meditation on formless wisdom cannot obtain a fragment of it.”

 

<center>sAkSAt darzana madhyAhna lIlAya

rAdhA-pada-sevArthinI |

yakhana ye seva koroho yatane

zrI rAdhA-caraNe dhAni || 4 ||</center>

“Directly I will behold the mid-day pastimes, I am eager to serve the feet of Radha. Whenever I get the chance, I will endeavor to serve the treasure of Sri Radha’s feet!”

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<center>SONG 7

 

zrI rUpa maJjarI kabe madhura bacane |

rAdhA-kuNDa mahimA barnibe saGgopane || 1 ||</center>

“When will Sri Rupa Manjari speak sweet words to me, describing the most secret glories of Radha Kunda?”

 

<center>e caudda bhuvanopari vaikuntha nilaya |

tad-apekSA mathurA parama zreSTha haya || 2 ||</center>

“Beyond the fourteen worlds is the abode of Vaikuntha. In comparison to it, Mathura is the most excellent abode.”

 

<center>mathurA-maNDale rAsa-lIlA sthAna yatha |

vRndAvana zreSTa ati zuno mama kathA || 3 ||</center>

“In Mathura-mandala, Vrindavana, the stage of the rasa-lila, is the best. Hear me narrate its glories!”

<center>kRSNa-lIlA-sthala govardhana zreSThatara |

rAdhA-kuNDa zreSTatam sarva-zakti-dhara || 4 ||</center>

“Of the places of Krishna’s pastimes, Govardhana is excellent, and Radha Kunda, in where all divine potencies are present, is the supermost.”

 

<center>rAdhA-kuNDa-mahimA to’ koriyA zravaNa |

lAlayita ho’ye ami paribo takhana || 5 ||</center>

“Whenever I hear of the glory of Radha Kunda, at that time I become filled with yearning.”

 

<center>sakhIra caraNe kabe koribo Akuti |

sakhI kRpa kori’ dibe svArasikI sthiti || 6 ||</center>

“I long to attain the feet of the sakhis, and their mercy will make me situated in a flow of inner rapture of emotions.”

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<center>SONG 8

 

baraNe taDita bAsa tArAbalI

kamala maJjarI nAma |

sADe bAra barSa bayasa satata

svAnanda-sukhada-dhAma || 1 ||</center>

“Having a complexion like lightning, wearing a dress ornamented with stars, my name is Kamala Manjari. I am eternally twelve and half years old, living in the abode of Svananda Sukhada.”

 

<center>karpUra sebA lalitAra gaNa

rAdhA yuthezvarI hana |

mamezvarI-nAtha zrI nanda-nandana

AmAra parANa dhana || 2 ||</center>

“I am engaged in serving camphor in the group of Lalita, and Radha is my yuthesvari. Sri Nanda-nandana is the lover of my mistress and the treasure of my life.”

 

<center>zrI rUpa maJjari prabhRtira sama

yugala sebAya Aza |

abazya se-rUpa sebA pAbo Ami

parAkASThA su-bisbAsa || 3 ||</center>

“I long to serve the Divine Couple like Sri Rupa Manjari and others. Certainly I will attain service like this, that is the pinnacle of my aspiration and my firm conviction.”

 

<center>kabe bA e dAsI saMsiddhi labhibe

rAdhA-kuNDe bAsa kori |

rAdhA-kRSNa-seba satata koribe

pUrba smRti parihari || 4 ||</center>

“When will this maidservant attain the perfection she longs for, living on the banks of RAdha Kunda? Then I will always engage in serving Radha and Krishna, having forgotten all memories of the past.

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<center>SONG 9

 

bRSabhAnu-sutA caraNa sevane

hoibo ye pAlya-dAsI |

zrI rAdhAra sukha satata sAdhane

rohibo Ami prayAsI || 1 ||</center>

“I will serve the feet of the daughter of Vrisabhanu as Her maidservant. Sri Radha’s happiness is my all in all, the object of my endeavors.”

 

<center>zrI rAdhAra sukhe kRSNera ye sukha

jAnibo manete Ami |

rAdhA-pada caDi zrI-kRSNa-saGgame

kabhu nA hoibo kAmI || 2 ||</center>

“I understand that Sri Radha’s happiness is Sri Krishna’s happiness. I will never desire to leave the feet of Radha to unite with Sri Krishna.”

 

<center>sakhI-gaNa mama parama-suhRt

yugala-premera-guru |

tad-anugA ho’ye sevibo rAdhAra

caraNa-kalapa-taru || 3 ||</center>

“The sakhis are my supreme well-wishers and the teachers of yugala-prema. In allegiance to them I will serve the feet Radha which are like a desire-tree.”

 

<center>rAdhA-pakSa chaDi je jana se jana

je bhAve se bhAve thAke

Ami to rAdhikA pakSa pAtI sadA

kabhu nAhi heri thAke || 4 ||</center>

“Whoever leaves the party of Radha, whatever their mood may be, I never want to see their faces! I am always on the side of Radhika.”

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<center>SONG 10

 

zrI kRSNa virahe rAdhikAra dazA

Ami to’ sahite nAri |

yugala-milana sukhera kAraNa

jIvana chADite pAri || 1 ||</center>

“Whenever Radhika is separated from Sri Krishna, I am unable to tolerate this. For the cause of joyfully uniting the two I am prepared to give up my life!”

 

<center>rAdhikA-caraNa tyajiyA AmAra

kSaNeke pralaya hoya |

rAdhikAra tare Sata-bAra mari

se duHkha AmAr soya || 2 ||</center>

“If I were to ever leave the feet of Radhika, it would instantly be my devastation. For Her sake, I can tolerate the agony of death a hundred times over.”

 

<center>e heno rAdhAra caraNa-yugale

paricaryA pAibo kabe |

hAhA braja-jana more doyA kori

kabe vraja-vane loibe || 3 ||</center>

“When will I be able to serve the two feet of Radha? O residents of Vraja! Please give me your mercy and take me to the forests of Vraja!”

 

<center>vilAsa maJjarI anaGga maJjarI

zrI rUpa maJjarI Ara |

AmAke tuliyA loho nija pade

deho more siddhi sAra || 4 ||</center>

“O Vilasa Manjari! O Ananga Manjari! O Rupa Manjari! Please lift me up and take me to the shade of your feet, bestowing me the essence of perfection!”

 

 

<center>Thus ends the Siddhi-lalasa of Bhaktivinoda’s Gita-mala.</center>