Tarun Posted October 18, 2002 Report Share Posted October 18, 2002 Why did the chicken cross the road? GEORGE W. BUSH That's a very interesting question. AL GORE I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people. RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV. PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with their crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross. P.E.T.A. SPOKESPERSON What business is it of yours why the chicken crossed the road? The chicken had every right to cross the road, more right than you have, since the chicken never murdered or enslaved another animal for its own pleasure. MARTHA STEWART If the chicken crossed the road on my property, I would be fully justified in blocking its exit until the local authorities could arrive to arrest it for trespassing. I am a private person and should not have to be subjected to the "innocent mistakes" of common chickens. JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace. EARLIER LENNON I've got nothing to say, but it's okay: Good morning, Good morning, Good morning (background sound of chickens crossing road) BOB DYLAN The Sun isn't yellow, it's the chicken (crossing that road) PETE SEEGER Where have all the chickens gone long time passing? Where have all the chickens gone long time ago? Where have all the chickens gone? Crossed that wide road everyone. When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn? PHIL OCHS Maybe I should phone the cops and help the poultry dame But monopoly is so much fun I'd hate to spoil the game And it really doesn't matter to... anybody Outside of a small circle of chickens... crossing that Kew Gardens road -> -> -> DICK GREGORY I'll never knock a crossroad chicken outta your plate; and I'll never let you put one in mine. ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX It was an historical inevitability. SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. VOLTAIRE I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it. CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. FOX MULDER You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? FREUD The very fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please? LOUIS FARRAKHAN The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down. SRILA A.C. BHAKTIVEDANTA SWAMI PRABHUPAD Without the presence of spirit soul, no chicken can cross any road. Due to sinful activity performed in his previous birth, that particular spirit soul was forced to transmigrate into a chicken body... and there is no guarantee we won't become chickens too.. so Chant Hare Krishna and Go Back Home, Back to Godhead. JESUS CHRIST the Essene Verily I say unto you: Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall see God face to face, even in that crossroad chicken's heart. Ergo, neither slaughter nor devour any of Our Supreme Lord's creatures, big or small, knowing well Who is dwelling within. Indeed, Our Father, Who art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name, divinely commanded, "Thou Shalt Not Kill", not even crossroad chickens. COLONEL SANDERS I missed one? ====================== ps - Prabhus & Matajis, please do improvise, adding your own transcendental flavor, tempered with KC discretion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2002 Report Share Posted October 19, 2002 THE IMPERSONALIST He first rolled an egg across then chased it just to prove the egg went before the chicken. Being blinded by the lights he was hit by a truck of devotees on their way to do sankirtan who were out of their trees chanting Hare Krsna. The last thing he heard before he passed away was the Holy Name of God. Which goes to prove in a bent sort of logic he really just wanted to get to the other side. We heard he took birth as a cow giving sweet milk to all, lucky cow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2002 Report Share Posted October 19, 2002 DENIS HOPPER He was no chicken man, he was a warrior, an adventurer, a deep thinker. we're just pygmies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2002 Report Share Posted October 19, 2002 DR. PHIL I'd say to build up it's self esteem to go forward and put closure on those Roosta's rough treatment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2002 Report Share Posted October 19, 2002 WOODY ALLEN Here chicky chicky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 19, 2002 Report Share Posted October 19, 2002 ELTON JOHN Give me a rooster any day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theist Posted October 19, 2002 Report Share Posted October 19, 2002 CHARLES DARWIN Who cares if it gets run over.Good riddance.Stupid chicken,deserves it.Too dumb to fly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2002 Report Share Posted October 20, 2002 OSAMA BIN LADIN'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY 'Why the Chicken Hit the Road' The cowards guide to Hit and Run. How to waste human life and become a chicken in your next life, taking as many as possible into the feeding trays with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2002 Report Share Posted October 20, 2002 ABU BACK BASHA (not Front Fighter) Osama, Osama where fore art thou? I've been revealed. I'm no chicken, I'm a possum and an ill one at that, Osama don't forsake me. Chickens unite. It's the Americans! They did it. Why do they lay such big freeways So hard to cross. What chance do chickens have? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2002 Report Share Posted October 20, 2002 ANONYMOUSE GUEST I ain't crossing no road Especially in broad daylight Is it dangerous? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2002 Report Share Posted October 20, 2002 GREEN PEACE ACTIVIST Everyone lay on the road Lets get some jungle back so those chickens no longer have anxiety attacks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vsdprasad Posted October 22, 2002 Report Share Posted October 22, 2002 NEWTON The chicken was able to walk on the road because according to the 3rd law of motion, the action produced by pressing its feet on the road created an equal and opposite reaction that made it move forward and cross the road! -Prasad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarun Posted October 31, 2002 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2002 Please slightly change this thread title to either: 1) Y did that Chicken cross...? or 2) Y that Chicken crossed... - or 3) Y Chickens Cross Roads - or 4) Why Chickens Cross Roads Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarun Posted December 1, 2002 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2002 Mister T: "I pity the fool who questions why chickens cross roads!" FDR: "That very day that very first chicken first crossed the First Road is a Day that will Live in Infamy" Thomas Jefferson: "We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all chickens were created equal, at least in so far as their ability to cross roads." Michael Moore: "While 'Bowling for Columbine' several armed chickens were observed crossing both alleys & roads" CREAM - DISRAELI GEARS: Chicken Crossroads Bhagavad-Gita: "Never was there a time when I did not exist, nor u, nor all these Kings. Nor in the future shall any of us cease to be. Then what to speak of all these crossroad chickens?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarun Posted December 1, 2002 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2002 Aeriel Sharon: "I hereby assure the entire international community that we Zionist Israelis have not, r not and shall not displace any Christian or Muslim Palestinians by destroying their homes & enforcing curfew under Martial Law. No, never! We r not barbarians. That is not our style. We r simply pacifying chickens who dare to cross the road." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarun Posted January 26, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2003 Y did that chicken cross that road? Y? To lay it on the line. Hopefully the line was visible, not too worn away. NIXON: "I'm glad u asked me that question. Let me make things perfectly clear..." KRUSHCHEV in Harlem, NYC 1960 visiting Castro was asked about Fidel & responded: "I don't know whether Castro is a communist, but I am certainly a Crossroad Chicken Fidelista." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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