controlling sexual urge

[Guest guest]

What's the best way to control the sexual urge? What does shastras say about this?

[Vaishnava_das108]

Chant 'Hare Krishna.' /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

[madhavachari]

So many persons chanted Hare Krishna, and still could not control their sexual urge. Therefore it is not absolutely sure that you will succeed.

However, if you realize that you are an eternal soul and that God is your ultimate goal - surrender to Him and He will take away your material desires.

[77_Krishna]

the Best way to stop the sexual urge.....is to hear the Divine Verses of God the Supreme Lord......and to recite it well and chant it clearly....

 

Or..

Mantra Power is required in that case....

 

as well as....

Seeing oneself above all that filthy stuff....actually Pride is good for that problem...

 

Pride is thy Divine way to intercept the Sexuality...

 

And God knows best....

 

Your Friend in Krishna

[stonehearted]

Any reply which tries to reduce this to a somple formula will not serve us well.

 

First, I''m not sure that "controlling" or "stopping" sexual urge is the best goal. Rupa Goswami's Upadeshamrita tells us that those who can tolerate this urge, as well as the other disruptive urges, is fit to accept disciples anywhere. Toleration, then, seems like a more realistic goal here.

 

I have a couple of ideas that might help. As Sanjay suggests, you should chant the holy name of Krishna, trying to avoid the ten offenses. Even better is chanting in association with other devotees who have a similar goal. You also need to keep good association. That means serious devotees who can support your attempt to make spiritual progress (which is why I assume you want to control your sexual urge). Guidance from an expert spiritual master is absoutley necessary. Also helpful is regularly hearing the pastimes between Krishna and His associates in Vrindavan, as well as the philosophy presented in Srimad-Bhagavatam. This is also most effectively done in good association and with proper guidance. We should hear these topics from spiritually realized souls.

 

You should also avoid bad association--those whose lives are controlled by these baser drives. That would include at least minimizing your exposure to literature, movies, commercials, etc. which are designed to fan the spark of material desire.

 

This is just a quick, off-the-top-of-my-head response. Ultimately, as Madhavacari says, the only way to control these urges is surrender to the Supreme Lord, who is the supreme controller of all His energies.

 

I'm sure we all wish you well in your quest.

[Guest guest]

The best way is to control the palate - being the tongue. Eat small meals- never overload the stomach, eat bland food-escpecially avoiding fried food, onions and garlic, hot food , sour food, meat. Dont eat out at all. Offer all fodd to god before you consume it. Keep your diet pure then controlling the sex urge will be simple. Remember to keep satsang and practise bhakti.

[Guest guest]

"While contemplating the objects of the senses lust develops" So focus on pleasing the senses of the beautiful personality of Godhead and contemplate the transcendental form of the Lord. Through this the anarthas and all unwanted bad habits will dissolve from the heart.

 

Doing this on the transcendental platform is all but impossibe as we are so far away, so it is recommended to make conection to a genuine pure spiritual master and humbly submit your everything to that tangible representive of Krsna, through devotional service a higher taste will fill ones heart with the sweet taste of giving, which if continued will culminate in Prema- divine Love, instead of thinking what pleasure we can get from another living entity.

Remember all living entities belong to Krsna, so we are not to take His property for our own, as this is theft and develops into an attitude of false proprietorship.

[Guest guest]

Don't succumb to your lower desires. whenever such a desire arises, understand that you are getting attracted to A bundle of bones, flesh, blood, urine, faecal matter, pus, perspiration, phlegm and other dirt! Will you allow such a bundle to become the master of your thoughts?

 

Read these web pages again and again & you will be able to remember them whenever such desires creep in. Remember that slowly and steadily you will definitely be successful in overcoming these desires. and of course, never forget chanting and remembering Lord Krishna's Names.

 

Follow the links in these pages:

 

http://www.geocities.com/suci123/bhakti/articles1/brahmacharya.htm

 

http://www.dasanudas.org/Counselling.asp?MainCatID=101511

 

http://www.sivanandadlshq.org/teachings/brahmacharya.htm

 

http://www.sivanandadlshq.org/messages/celibate.htm

 

http://www.thedivinelifesociety.org/download/brahmacharya.htm

[Guest guest]

when we are fixed in our ultimate goal, the lower goals vanish. all we have to do is strengthen our devotion to the lord and understand that He will see us only if we are pure. whenever we are tempted by lower modes, we have to understand that it is because we are weak in determination to attain Him. so intensely pray to the lord. the anarthas will be swept away. it is useless waste of time to try and remove anarthas.

[Guest guest]

What's the best way to control the sexual urge?

 

Eating bitter food will make it easier. But Stonehearted and the others are right. Rather than thinking about controling sexual urge, better to chant and read shastra with good devotees. It's hard to find good association, but hey this is Kali Yuga. When you have good association, value it highly. Because of you keep thinking "I will control this sexual urge" all the time, then subliminally, you are still thinking of sexual urges. It's not very easy to be pure in this day and age. Getting through spiritual life in this day and age is like walking on a tightrope. If you have the aptitude, you can cross to the other side. But if you LOOK DOWN while crossing, chances are you will fall down.

[stonehearted]

In an essay called "The Case for Continence," published in his book Ancient Wisdom for Modern Ignorance, Swami B. V. Tripurari writes:

 

Adopting a vegetarian diet and eating alkaline rather than acid-producing foods will counteract uric acid formation and reduce sexual inclinations. The secret to sexual control for men lies in maintaining the blood and urine in as alkaline a state as possible so as not to irritate the sexual centers inthe mucus lining of the prostatic utricle. This state is best achieved through a low-protein diet. Vegetables that contain large quantities of fiber and water, such as cabbage, turnips, beets, and carrots, and fruits like melons are helpful in this connection. Potatoes are very alkaline and among grains rice is the lowest in uric acid content. In general, a low-protein diet is the best diet for pursuing continence.

 

BTW, I highly recommend this book. It covers a broad range of interesting topics, cultural, scientific, and spiritual, from a Gaudiya-vaishnava perspective. It's available from Tripurari Maharaj's Web site at www.swami.org

[debbie]

You might me crazy for asking such a question, but could you please tell me, what food has to do with helping to controll sexual urge. I am sure it all sounds logical to all of you, but I am very curious to the relationship of what foods we eat that make our bodies react or not react in certain ways to sexual urges or anything else for that matter. Thanks in advance for your response. Debbie

[stonehearted]

I have to run and teach a class, but a quick answer is that the food we eat has a big effect on body chemistry. The effects of eating more vegetables and more-alkaline grains may be more subtle than the effects, say, of drinking coffee or alcoholic beverages, but the differences are really only superficial. We get at the root of the problem (of all problems, really) by the methods discussed in earlier posts.

[Gauracandra]

I think we see that the kind of foods we eat contribute not only to our physical wellness but also to our mental wellness. Some food makes us hyperactive (lots of sugars) and so it is hard to concentrate. Other foods make us feel weighted down and lazy. So the proper balance is necessary.

 

I do find it interesting that Srila Prabhupada has made a connection between eating meat and increases in sexual desire. He has also connected an increase in sexual desire to the desire to accumulate wealth. Is this one reason that the United States is the wealthiest country in the world? Because it slaughters and eats a lot of meat. This in turn pushes the culture to “work, work, work”…?

[stonehearted]

This reminded me of Ramakrishna's credo for Bengalis, as summarized for me by a Bengali man I met in New Delhi 20 years ago: Eat fish and work hard.

[Guest guest]

If we are kept busy, we don't have time to think of sex. If we are too tired at the end of the day, we are too tired to engage in sex. Therefore if the mind is starting to desire sex, often this is due to having too much time on our hands. More devotional service ki jai!

[Enlightened]

The sexual urge only is dominant if we pay attention to such a notion, if you just don't let your mind dwell in those things but enjoy the beauty and bliss of the nature around you all the time, then there is no sexual urge in the first place.

 

When we try to gain something, then there is an urge to obtain that thing, but when we lost the charm for such a notion, then where is the domination of the urge in the first place

__________

This type of control is also recommended by Valmiki's Vasistha Yoga, where sage Valmiki explains the Conversation between Vasistha and Rama about how to get dispassionate about the world. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

-enlightened.

[Kishalaya]

tava kaathamritam tapta-jiivanam kavibhir iditam kalmasaapaham

sravana-mangalam sriimad aatatam bhuvi grinanti ye bhuri-da janaah

 

My Lord, the nectar of Your words and the descriptions of Your activities are the life and soul of those suffering in this material world. These narrations, transmitted by learned sages, eradicate one's sinful reactions and bestow good fortune upon whoever hears them. These narrations are broadcast all over the world and are filled with spiritual power. Those who spread the message of Godhead are certainly the most munificent welfare workers.

 

 

[srivats]

I do accept this methdology , jus getting engaged in something will be the best thing to do , Its really hard to control our mind when its taking its direction towards sex ......Even when the lips pronouncing gods name / slokas the mind will work hard to find the way.. realising what our immediate goal ( about our job / studies, what we want to become ) may stop that , if our goal are really important to us , If nothing works out . Surrendering to almighty is the solution.

 

Can someone post more views on this ?

 

Madhava Kesava Madhana Gopala /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Srrivats

 

[Tarun]

"In like a needle; out like a plow."

Have u ever plowed? Can u plow sans animal or engine help?

In tamoguN we marry someone dead: alcohol, cocaine, fish, meat, tobacco

We want to chew it, drink it, feel it, smell it, taste it/her..

In rajoguN we want to do the same to someone living.

In sattva-guN we use the right thing for the right purpose.

[gHari]

The Christian book of Matthew chapter 5 suggests:<blockquote>27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.</blockquote>Yes, this likely doesn't extrapolate into 'cut IT off', at least not other than figuratively. Very similar yet more detailed advice is given by Lord Krsna as He spoke to mighty-armed Arjuna as recorded for our mercy in the Bhagavad-gita verses 2.58 through 2.64:<blockquote>One who is able to withdraw his senses from sense objects, as the tortoise draws his limbs within the shell, is to be understood as truly situated in knowledge.

 

<blockquote>The test of a yogI, devotee, or self-realized soul is that he is able to control the senses according to his plan. Most people, however, are servants of the senses and are thus directed by the dictation of the senses. That is the answer to the question as to how the yogI is situated. The senses are compared to venomous serpents. They want to act very loosely and without restriction. The yogI, or the devotee, must be very strong to control the serpents--like a snake charmer. He never allows them to act independantly. There are many injunctions in the revealed scriptures; some of them are do-not's, and some of them are do's. Unless one is able to follow the do's and the do-not's, restricting oneself from sense enjoyment, it is not possible to be firmly fixed in KRSNa consciousness. The best example, set herein, is the tortoise. The tortoise can at any moment wind up his senses and exhibit them again at any time for particular purposes. Similarly, the senses of the KRSNa conscious persons are used only for some particular purpose in the service of the Lord and are withdrawn otherwise. Keeping the senses always in the service of the Lord is the example set by the analogy of the tortoise, who keeps the senses within.</blockquote>The embodied soul may be restricted from sense enjoyment, though the taste for sense objects remains. But, ceasing such engagements by experiencing a higher taste, he is fixed in consciousness.

 

<blockquote>Unless one is transcendentally situated, it is not possible to cease from sense enjoyment. The process of restriction from sense enjoyment by rules and regulations is something like restricting a diseased person from certain types of eatables. The patient, however, neither likes such restrictions, nor loses his taste for eatables. Similarly, sense restriction by some spiritual process like aSTAGga-yoga, in the matter of yama, niyama, Asana, prANAyAma, pratyAhAra, dharaNA, dhyAna, etc., is recommended for less intelligent persons who have no better knowledge. But one who has tasted the beauty of the Supreme Lord KRSNa, in the course of his advancement in KRSNa consciousness, no longer has a taste for dead material things. Therefore, restrictions are there for the less intelligent neophytes in the spiritual advancement of life, but such restrictions are only good if one actually has a taste for KRSNa consciousness. When one is actually KRSNa conscious, he automatically loses his taste for pale things.</blockquote>The senses are so strong and impetuous, O Arjuna, that they forcibly carry away the mind even of a man of discrimination who is endeavoring to control them.

 

<blockquote>There are many learned sages, philosophers and transcendentalists who try to conquer the senses, but in spite of their endeavors, even the greatest of them sometimes fall victim to material sense enjoyment due to the agitated mind. Even VizvAmitra, a great sage and perfect yogI, was misled by MenakA into sex enjoyment, although the yogI was endeavoring for sense control with severe types of penance and yoga practice. And,of course, there are so many similar instances in the history of the world. Therefore, it is very difficult to control the mind and the senses without being fully KRSNa conscious. Without engaging the mind in KRSNa, one cannot cease such material engagements. A practical example is given by SrI YAmunAcArya, a great saint and devotee, who says: "Since my mind has been engaged in the service of the lotus feet of Lord KRSNa, and I have been enjoying an ever new transcendental humor, whenever I think of sex life with a woman, my face at once turns from it, and I spit at the thought."

 

KRSNa consciousness is such a transcendentally nice thing that automatically material enjoyment becomes distasteful. It is as if a hungry man had satisfied his hunger by a sufficient quantity of nutritious eatables. MahArAja AmbarISa also conquered a great yogI, DurvAsA Muni, simply because his mind was engaged in KRSNa consciousness.</blockquote>One who restrains his senses and fixes his consciousness upon Me is known as a man of steady intelligence.

 

<blockquote>That the highest conception of yoga perfection is KRSNa consciousness is clearly explained in this verse. And, unless one is KRSNa conscious, it is not at all possible to control the senses. As cited above, the great sage DurvAsA Muni picked a quarrel with MahArAja AmbarISa, and DurvAsA Muni unnecessarily became angry out of pride and therefore could not check his senses. On the other hand, the King, although not as powerful a yogI as the sage, but a devotee of the Lord, silently tolerated all the sage's injustices and thereby emerged victorious. The King was able to control his senses because of the following qualifications, as mentioned in the SrImad-BhAgavatam:<blockquote>"King AmbarISa fixed his mind on the lotus feet of Lord KRSNa, engaged his words in describing the abode of the Lord, his hands in cleansing the temple of the Lord, his ears in hearing the pastimes of the Lord, his eyes in seeing the form of the Lord, his body in touching the body of the devotee, his nostrils in smelling the flavor of the flowers offered to the lotus feet of the Lord, his tongue in tasting the tulasI leaves offered to Him, his legs in traveling to the holy place where His temple is situated, his head in offering obeisances unto the Lord, and his desires in fulfilling the desires of the Lord … and all these qualifications made him fit to become a mat-paraH devotee of the Lord." (BhAg. 9.4.18-20)</blockquote>The word mat-paraH is most significant in this connection. How one can become a mat-paraH is described in the life of MahArAja AmbarISa. SrIla Baladeva VidyAbhUSaNa, a great scholar and AcArya in the line of the mat-paraH, remarks: "mad-bhakti-prabhAvena sarvendriya-vijaya-pUrvikA svAtma dRSTiH sulabheti bhAvaH.The senses can be completely controlled only by the strength of devotional service to KRSNa." Also the example of fire is sometimes given: "As the small flames within burn everything within the room, similarly Lord ViSNu, situated in the heart of the yogI, burns up all kinds of impurities." The Yoga-sUtra also prescribes meditation on ViSNu, and not meditation on the void. The so-called yogIs who meditate on something which is not the ViSNu form simply waste their time in a vain search after some phantasmagoria. We have to be KRSNa conscious--devoted to the Personality of Godhead. This is the aim of the real yoga.</blockquote>While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them, and from such attachment lust develops, and from lust anger arises.

 

<blockquote>One who is not KRSNa conscious is subjected to material desires while contemplating the objects of senses. The senses require real engagements, and if they are not engaged in the transcendental loving service of the Lord, they will certainly seek engagement in the service of materialism. In the material world everyone, including Lord Siva and Lord BrahmA--to say nothing of other demigods in the heavenly planets--is subjected to the influence of sense objects, and the only method to get out of this puzzle of material existence is to become KRSNa conscious. Lord Siva was deep in meditation, but when PArvatI agitated him for sense pleasure, he agreed to the proposal, and as a result KArtikeya was born. When HaridAsa ThAkur was a young devotee of the Lord, he was similarly allured by the incarnation of MAyA DevI, but HaridAsa easily passed the test because of his unalloyed devotion to Lord KRSNa. As illustrated in the above-mentioned verse of SrI YAmunAcArya, a sincere devotee of the Lord shuns all material sense enjoyment due to his higher taste for spiritual enjoyment in the association of the Lord. That is the secret of success. One who is not, therefore, in KRSNa consciousness, however powerful he may be in controlling the senses by artificial repression, is sure ultimately to fail, for the slightest thought of sense pleasure will agitate him to gratify his desires.</blockquote>From anger, delusion arises, and from delusion bewilderment of memory. When memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, and when intelligence is lost, one falls down again into the material pool.

 

<blockquote>By development of KRSNa consciousness one can know that everything has its use in the service of the Lord. Those who are without knowledge of KRSNa consciousness artificially try to avoid material objects, and as a result, although they desire liberation from material bondage, they do not attain to the perfect stage of renunciation. On the other hand, a person in KRSNa consciousness knows how to use everything in the service of the Lord; therefore he does not become a victim of material consciousness. For example, for an impersonalist, the Lord, or the Absolute, being impersonal, cannot eat. Whereas an impersonalist tries to avoid good eatables, a devotee knows that KRSNa is the supreme enjoyer and that He eats all that is offered to Him in devotion. So, after offering good eatables to the Lord, the devotee takes the remnants, called prasAdam. Thus everything becomes spiritualized and there is no danger of a downfall. The devotee takes prasAdam in KRSNa consciousness, whereas the nondevotee rejects it as material. The impersonalist, therefore, cannot enjoy life due to his artificial renunciation; and for this reason, a slight agitation of the mind pulls him down again into the pool of material existence. It is said that such a soul, even though rising up to the point of liberation, falls down again due to his not having support in devotional service.</blockquote> One who can control his senses by practicing the regulated principles of freedom can obtain the complete mercy of the Lord and thus become free from all attachment and aversion.

 

<blockquote>It is already explained that one may externally control the senses by some artificial process, but unless the senses are engaged in the transcendental service of the Lord, there is every chance of a fall. Although the person in full KRSNa consciousness may apparently be on the sensual plane, because of his being KRSNa conscious, he has no attachment to sensual activities. The KRSNa conscious person is concerned only with the satisfaction of KRSNa, and nothing else. Therefore he is transcendental to all attachment. If KRSNa wants, the devotee can do anything which is ordinarily undesirable; and if KRSNa does not want, he shall not do that which he would have ordinarily done for his own satisfaction. Therefore to act or not to act is within his control because he acts only under the direction of KRSNa. This consciousness is the causeless mercy of the Lord, which the devotee can achieve in spite of his being attached to the sensual platform.</blockquote>

</blockquote>

[Coyote]

I attended a couple mukti yajnas at Satyaloka an enlightened community and ashram of a sage they call Kalki Bhagavan. The tradition is vegetarian, celebate, involves a lot of dietary restriction and yoga to start.

 

There was about 6 months of preparation to attend the first 42 day yajna and during that preparation a dasa of Kalki taught us the ancient sadhanas and sutras of desire. It was awesome as they teaches the dynamics of desire and primal urges such as for food and sex. Basically it boils down to this:

 

There will always be desire however it is a matter of whether you make use of desire or it will make use of you. There is tremendous energy in desire that can be used in spiritual pursuits. If you try and control it you will enter a state of reformation rather than transformation. There are ways you can make use of desire rather than having it make use of you.

 

What is amazing about the sadhanas of desire is once mastered it is not so hard to attain renunciation in the world rather than of the world. Males and females can easily coexist in the ashrams without scandals, and all the dramas and sufferings that come from the trying to be celebate when it is not one's nature.

 

What is really cool is you can apply the sadhanas and sutras of desire to food and do without, to sleep and do without just about anything. You no longer have to buy a Mercedes to experience a Mercedes! They still teach this in the USA at some of the centers for the teachers training.

[krsna]

 

 

To avoid the butter getting to close to the fire.

 

This is a good quote selection on the topis of sense control.

[Guest guest]

the butter will expand and make the freezer explode

[Guest guest]

Are you taking about Osho's philosophy?