Religion… Many Paths and Rocks

[Guest guest]

Religion… Many Paths and Rocks

 

Hare Krsna! I guess my religious background story are like waves. It starts very rigorously but calms down towards the end. I was born as a Hindu. It is very easy to say, “I am a Hindu.” Later, in life I realized, “How many Hindus are there?” In my case, my Hinduism would be defined as to which temple was close by. If I was near as Swaminarayana temple, I would be a Swaminarayana. I was next to a Sai Baba temple, I would be a Sai follower. This attitude is no different from a Mayavadi who would think everything is one and the same. I was born into the Swaminarayan religion. My paternal grandparents were followers of Swaminarayan. My maternal grandparents were worshippers of Aurobindo and his female disciple who they claim to be the most recent avatara of Durga Devi. So, I am considered an Aurobindo Swaminarayana mix. Weird!!! We moved to Heidelberg, Germany in 1985, where the former Harikesa Swami (then known as ‘Visnupada’ by his followers) lived. By Lord Krsna’s grace, I got a mundana samskara where my hair was cut by then. I heard my first kirtana of jaya sri krsna caitanya prabhu nityananda in a Raga Jhinjhoti fashion. In my immature years, when I watch the video of my haircut, I say, “Get rid of it!!” since I had no interest in any religion at all. I wasn’t trained in religious principles, even though I was trained in moral principles. I came back to states in 1987 and lived at Fort Bragg, NC. I got closer to my grandparents. In fact, I knew my grandparents’ alter: from Mayavadis like Sahajananda Swami (who claims to be Lord Visnu), and his followers, to more general pictures that you see in every Hindu temple like Krsna, Sita Rama Laksmana, and Hanuman as if he was a supreme entity. Of course, Dattatreya, Durga, Ganesa, and Siva were common ones. Since I was close to my paternal grandparents, I was more toward Swaminarayan bhajans. I remember in late 1990, my late grandfather taught me how to read and write Gujarati, and in 1993, he taught me how to read and write Hindi. In 1991, when I was a first grader, I met the current disciple in their succession, Pramukh Swami. I remember he told me to eat good food. (don’t ask!!! lol)

 

 

 

In 1992, I never really cared too much about God and I gave up the Swaminarayan devotion. I was devoted to the Nintendo that year. In 1994, I was devoted to Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, since it was a fad back then. I never really cared about God and I would always hate to go to anything about religion. My anger toward it grew when I was forced to go to visit this so-called swami in North Carolina in the spring of 1995. He was (and still is!) a nutcase. He talks about how “pray God” was the answer to everything. Yes, true. But he never showed us who God is. Later, he taught us a Ganesa prayer. He asked us all to memorize it. With my memorization skill back then, I memorized the prayer (and I still have it in my memory! ekadantam mahakayam lambodara gajananam, vighnanasakaram devam herambam pranamamyaham “I offer obeisances to Lord Heramba who destroys obstacles and has a gigantic elephant face and large pot-belly.”). The next day we were supposed to come, he randomly chose each student to chant this verse. I was chosen and I chanted the verse, too. I was waiting for the audience to hush down. “Ekadantam” and the audience still wasn’t quiet. “Ekadantam” and the audience was getting softer… “Ekadantam” and then the swami said, “Three times?? Did you forget?” With laughter from the audience, I still chanted the entire verse, despite the swami insulting me. Everyone did and some got it to memory. But, all of a sudden, the swami chose three of the people and called them the winners of this competition and the “new” teachers. They won pens. I didn’t like the fact that it was a competition. My mom criticized me on the way home that I was a horrible student and I should learn from them. My mom said things so personal to me that I got upset very much. My parents realized that I was ok, the way I was, but the swami shouldn’t have insulted me. They personally spoke to the swami and told them how I felt. The swami wanted to talk to me personally, but I was in so much ire, that even at 10:00 PM the next time, I was not willing to go. I saw the swami again, but I didn’t let him know I was there. I didn’t care if he realized me or not. He left America the next day. One month later, he was arrested for child abuse. Krsna’s mercy??

 

 

 

After the swami ordeal, summer of 1995 came, when I ended fifth grade ready to enter sixth, I used to listen to “R” rated Hindi songs which are not decent to listen to at all. Eventually, my mom got me a “Trikal Sandhya” tape. Trikal Sandhya are three different sets of prayers meant for three different times of day (namely waking, eating, and sleeping). These prayers are used by the followers of “swadhyay.” The word “swadhyay” is from Sanskrit, svadhyaya which literally means, “The study of self” but it is implied from Srila Prabhupada’s translation as the study of Vedic literature. I had never been to swadhyay before, but this music (in Trikal Sandhya) was okay. I used to sleep to the selected verses of the Srila Bilvamangala Thakura’s song “Sri Govinda Damodara Stotra”, “Gayatri”, and the Yogesvar Arati. One interesting note is that they view Lord Krsna as originally, Yogesvara. Without knowledge of this, I kept listening to this. As I moved into West Point, NY in late 1995, these songs became still on the tip of my tongue. When we got to the first swadhyay we knew in New Windsor, NY, I kinda liked it. I guess it was because of the prayers even though I lacked the knowledge of Sanskrit. The new year came and it became 1996. I found the “Jiva-Bhavana” book and saw more swadhyay prayers in there. Although it was quite boring, because there were just an “x” number of prayers and “y” number of bhav-geets (similar to the bhajan, but unbonafide). Still, it was good. I finished sixth grade and the swadhyay prayers were still on my tongue. I became a seventh grader in late 1996. Here is where my life made a significant turn.

 

 

 

Seventh grade is considered one of my happiest and re-livable years! For two reasons! One reason is that I started to understand one important called love. What is love? Second reason is that I became in something totally new. Before seventh grade, I used to hate anyone of the opposite gender. Yes, the cooties and all that immature junk. But, seventh grade was the year where I started to understand the opposite gender. I guess this is the year where compassion started to kick in. I wasn’t a pure vegetarian, but I had somewhat compassion. Instead of listening to Trikal Sandhya, I started to listen to “Anmol Bhajans Vol 3.” It is reproduced versions of old bhajani lyrics in old films such by Bollywood legends like Late Mohammed Rafi, Late Hemant Kumar, Manna Dey, Late Geeta Dutt, Lata Mangeshkar, Mahendra Kapoor, and Asha Bhosle. The songs that really got me was “O Duniya Ke Rakhwale (Mohd. Rafi for Baiju Bawra)”, “Tu Pyar Ka Sagar Hai (Manna Dey for Seema)”, and “Tora Man Darpana” (Asha Bhosle for Kajal). I used to listen to these so much that I memorized the O Duniya Ke Rakhwale in Raga Darbari Kanhada. When 1997 came, I found a tape with old old Jagjit Singh bhajans. It is the “Samarpan” tape. I liked the tunes of the songs, even though I never changed my ways. I heard the Hare Krsna mahamantra, which sounded nice, but I still didn’t give it much thought. It ‘haunted’ me but it was a nice cozy feeling. That feeling didn’t jump out until April 17, 1997. The day I went on that class excursion trip to SONY Studios in New York City, where street chanters were there. By curiousity’s sake, I checked it out and was amazed “Krsna” and “Rama” were chanted by Americans. How could it be??? By hearing the Hare Krsna mahamantra chanted by pure devotees, I knew that Samarpan was the tape I wouldn’t convert away from. I grabbed a hold of Laksmi Shankar’s bhajan tape, Hari Om Sharan’s “Prabhupad Krpa.” Describing the summer of 1997 was priceless. Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare! Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare!

 

 

 

Although it took time, and let me admit a lot of time, to get my four regulative principles to kick in. But I had the interest. I used to watch Ramayana, Mahabharata, and Sri Krsna films. They were so powerful to glue on to their seat! I spent my last 15 days of the summer of 1997 watching the entire Ramayana. At this point, I realized how dull swadhyay was. I was philosophically unaware of how swadhyay operated, but the swadhyay songs started to sound dull, since they were monotonous.

 

 

 

It took me until 1999 to kick in the real vegetarianism. I also had an AOL account so I was able to contact my first friends who are still to this day, my best friends worthy of worship. I really read the Bhagavad Gita As It Is and concluded that the swadhyay I went to was just “b.s.” if you will. You still must be wondering what swadhyay, Swaminarayan, and all them teach.