gurudeva and the feeling of separation

[anadi]

Although our Gurudeva has also entered his aprakata-lila, we remain in this world in a very pleasant manner. On special days, his avirbhava (appearance day) and tirobhava (disappearance day), the occasion comes that we may remember him. At that time, however, we are involved in arranging the utsava, festival. There is very little chance to realize that separation. Only while we are speaking something about him, a drop of tear may come in our eyes – and it may not come. If the festival is very elaborate, there will be no tears. So many functions must be managed, such as the abhiseka, puja, and distribution of maha-prasadam to Vaisnavas. We arrange these festivals mainly for the people in general, for those who have no intimate relation with him. But we should do something so that a feeling of separation will come within our own hearts, and that is called bhajana.

 

Who will feel separation? Those special persons who have realized their immense obligation and indebtedness to Gurudeva for all they have received, and who have rendered much service to him with visrambha-bhava, intimacy. They will weep. The consideration that, "I'm so low and my Gurudeva is in such a high stage" will not be there. Awe and reverence will not be there; otherwise one cannot weep. In sastra it is said, visrambhena guror seva – the sevaka performs such intimate service to gurudeva that gurudeva remains always pleased with him. The guru will not consider for even a moment that, "He is my servant and disciple." Instead he will feel that, "He is my heart." Sri Isvara Puripada, the disciple of Srila Madhavendra Puri, and Govinda, the disciple of Isvara Puri, were servants of this caliber. Although this is a rare relationship, it is absolutely necessary for raganuga-bhakti. Without a relationship like this, we cannot weep like Srila Raghunatha dasa Gosvami.

 

Separation from gurudeva will be experienced on different levels. When we consider how merciful he was and how much greater he is than ourselves, we feel a certain type of sentiment. However, when we remember how near and dear he was and how much he loved us, then we will weep profusely for him.

 

The gopis can weep so much more than Nanda Baba.

Yasoda Ma can also weep more than Nanda Baba,

but the gopis can weep even more than Yasoda.

This is because their relationship with Krsna is more 'keen' or intimate.

We should have this kind of relationship with Krsna or Srimati Radhika,

and also with our gurudeva,

Sri Rupa Manjari, Srila Rupa Gosvami, and all others like them.

Then we can weep for their mercy.

If we have yet to develop an intimate service relationship with our gurudeva, then surely we cannot imagine our relationship with Sri Rupa Manjari or Srimati Radhika and Krsna.

Our entire advancement depends upon on our ‘keen’ service – how intensely we serve our gurudeva – and all other relationships and experiences develop on that platform.

If we can weep for gurudeva, we can weep for Srimati Radhika. If we cannot weep for our gurudeva we cannot weep for Her.

That is my experience. Whatever we know, we know from gurudeva, and therefore we should weep in our hearts for him.

 

Spoken by Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharaja

 

 

[Guest guest]

Broken-hearted Melody [song by Sarah Vaughan]:

 

Br-oooo-ken hearted me-eee-lo- dy

Ooooonce you were our song of love.

Nooooow you just keep taunting me

Wiiiiith the memory of (ba-da-da))

His tender love. Oh,

Broken hearted melody

Must you keep reminding me

Of the lips I long to kiss

And the love I miss since he went away.

Night and day they play.

But, broken hearted melody

That he used to sing to me

When our love was young and bright

As he held me tight;

Suddenly I found: I was out of bound

 

Brooooken hearted melody

Ooooonce you were my song of love.

Nooooow you just keep taunting me

Wiiiiiith the memory of (ba-da- da)

His tender love. Oh,

Broken hearted melody

Won't you bring him back to me

Sing to him until he hears,

For when he returns no more will he be,

A broken hearted melody.

Oooooooo, oo-oo, oo-oo, oo-oo, ooooooooo,

Oooooooo, oo-oo, oo-oo, oo-oo, ooooooooo. . .

 

Still we are driven to chant, though our hearts are broken evermore...somehow we must come to know our tears as Her's, along with everything else -- including His Divine Grace.

[anadi]

I am fully indebted to Sri Gurudeva, because he is giving me so many things.

He is giving me the holy name

containing the highest form of thought, aspiration and ideal,

and He is giving me the service of that great saviour, the son of Mother Saci, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu,

who is like a golden mountain

indicating the way to krsna-lila.

And Sri Gurudeva has brought me to Svarupa Damodara, who is Lalita devi, Srimati Radhka s closest friend.

Then he has brought me to Sri Rupa, who was ordered to distribute rasa tattva, and then

to Sri Sanantana Gosvami, who adjusts our position in relation to raganuga bhakti.

Gurudeva has brought me to Mathura mandal,

where Radha and Govinda have their pastimes,

where the forests, hills, and every creeper, shrub and grain of sand are uddipana (stimuli)

to help me remember Radha and Govinda.

He has given me Radha kunda and Giriraja Govardhana, and aho!

He has given me assurance of all these,

so I bow my head with deep respect unto his lotus feet.

 

Sri Mukta caritam, Rghunatha dasa Gosvami

 

[Narayanidd]

Letter to Janaki, 16 Sept 1967

 

"I'm so pleased for your writing such nice sentiment. I've especially noted that you could express yourself so beautifully. I know both you and your sister have inherited a good heart from your good mother. Your eagerness to get me back in the states will surely be a success because I'm also eager to return. Tears for Krsna is as good as associating with Him personally. In the spiritual world separation is more valuable than meeting. So your feelings and tears of Krsna consciousness will make you more enriched in spiritual advancement."

 

Letter to Syama, 30 Aug 1968

 

"The nice sentiments expressed in your letter under reply is very much pleasing to me. When I initiated you, I accepted you on that very moment as my daughter. So you are eternally my daughter and I am your father. There is no doubt about it. And our relationship is based on Krsna consciousness, so the more successful you preach and help Krsna conscious movement, the more our relationship in transcendental platform is firm and fixed up. OUr business is to chant and glorify the Holy name of Krsna and wherever we may remain, Krsna is with us, Krsna is within your heart, Krsna is within my heart. So, spiritually there is no question of separation, even physically we may be in far distant place..."

 

Letter to Advaita, 6 Oct 1968

 

"I am so glad to learn the New York devotees are all feeling my separation and you are also; this is very blissful. In the transcendental platform, actually separation is more relishable than meeting. But either separation or meeting, the state is always absolute. Actually in the spiritual platform, there is no separation, but it is a different stages of rasas."

 

JAI SRILA PRABHUPADA!!!

 

Your servant,

Narayani d.d.

[Priitaa]

This is exactly what I needed to hear, as so often preaching is the opposite. I know otherwise, but to read the truth like this is wonderful! Prabhupada had (has!) a heart. It is not mundane sentiment. Only pure and spiritual. Thank you Narayani prabhu.

 

YS,

Prtha dd

[anadi]

Tridandiswami Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharaja

A DARSANA FOR TAMAL KRSNA GOSVAMI

Oct. 21, 1992

 

[since the recent departure of Tamal Krsna Gosvami, many devotees have been

sharing their feelings and sentiments about him. Very few, however, are

aware of a great service rendered by him. From 1991-1995, in Vrndavana,

Mathura, and Bombay, he and his associates like Dhanurdara Svami, Bhurjana

Prabhu, and Giriraja Svami, had the good fortune to inquire from Srila

Bhaktivedanta Narayana Gosvami Maharaja. Besides asking specific questions

about guru-tattva, jiva-tattva, Vaisnava sadacara (proper conduct), and so

on, he also asked Srila Narayana Maharaja to explain certain sastras. These

sastras include Srila Raghunatha dasa Gosvami's Vilapa Kusumanjali, Srila

Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura's Madhurya Kadambini and Raga Vartma Candrika,

and Srimad-Bhagavatam's Rasa Pancadhaya.

 

These topics had already been published by other devotees, and by other

persons who are not in our Gaudiya line. But Tamal Krsna Gosvami and his

god-brothers wanted to hear the true version and pure teachings of the

self-realized souls in the line of Sri Rupa Gosvami and our predecessor

acaryas. By his good questions, he was instrumental in manifesting very

valuable manuscripts, some already published and some to be published. The

following in a sample of his inquiries and Srila Narayana Maharaja's

replies, on the subject of Vilapa Kusumanjali. The date is Oct. 21, 1992.

 

Affectionately remembering Tamal Krsna Gosvami, Srila Narayana Maharaja

said, "He forced me to speak in English and by that I learned the language."

Srila Narayana Maharaja also said that Tamal Krsna Gosvami was indirectly

responsible for Srila Maharaja's world preaching tours over the last seven

years, and his spreading the message of Srila Prabhupada and the

guru-parampara.]

 

[srila Narayana Maharaja:] What sloka do you want to hear?

 

 

[Tamal Krsna Gosvami:] Do you want to repeat yesterday's sloka?

 

[srila Narayana Maharaja:] Do you mean the sloka beginning aty-utkatena?

 

[Tamal Krsna Gosvami and Bhurijana prabhu:] Yes. Yesterday you did that.

 

[srila Narayana Maharaja:] Yesterday I explained that there are two kinds of

bhajana. The first is in vipralambha-lila, performed by chanting and

remembering Krsna's pastimes of separation. The second is in sambhoga-lila,

performed by remembering His pastimes of meeting. Although the gopis and

Vrajavasis always like to meet Krsna, He plays in such a manner that they

enjoy vipralambha-rasa. The sadhaka should cultivate vipralambha-bhava

thinking, "I am not seeing Krsna, I am not seeing Srimati Radhika, I am not

seeing Vraja, I am not seeing anything!" He should always feel separation as

Raghunatha dasa Gosvami has shown here – separation from Krsna and

especially from Srimati Radhika.

 

In many slokas, Raghunatha dasa Gosvami has also lamented in separation from

Srila Rupa Gosvami. At the time of Rupa Gosvami's entrance into

aprakata-lila, he composed this sloka:

 

sunyayate maha-gostham girindro 'jagarayate

vyaghra-tundayate kundam jivatu-rahitasya me

 

["Now that I no longer have the sustainer of my life, the land of Vraja has

become empty and desolate, Govardhana Hill has become like a great python,

and Radha-kunda has become like the gaping mouth of a ferocious tigress."]

 

Raghunatha dasa Gosvami also lamented in separation for his siksa-gurus. He

prayed, "I'm so unlucky. First Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu departed from this

world. Afterwards I lived constantly with Sri Svarupa Damodara, and he also

left. Next I caught hold of the feet of Sri Gadadhara Pandita, but he also

left. Then, experiencing that every place and every dust particle of

Jagannatha Puri reminded me of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Svarupa Damodara,

Gadadhara Pandita, and all their associates, I fled to Vrndavana."

 

Although Gurudeva has also entered his aprakata-lila, the neophyte disciple

remains in this world in a very pleasant manner. On special days, such as

his avirbhava (appearance day) and tirobhava (disappearance day), the

occasion comes that the disciple may remember him. At that time, however, he

is involved in arranging the utsava (festival), and there is very little

chance to realize that separation. While speaking something about him, a

drop of tear may come, and then again it may not come. If the festival is

very elaborate, there will be no tears. That disciple must manage so many

functions, such as the abhiseka, puja, and distribution of maha-prasadam to

the Vaisnavas. He arranges these festivals mainly for the people in general,

for those who have no intimate relation with his Gurudeva, but he should do

something so that a feeling of separation will come within his own heart.

That is called bhajana.