Worst Jokes of your life!

[Guest guest]

NO no, put only good jokes here, not worst jokes.

[Guest guest]

"Knock knock".

"Who's there"?

"Banana".

"Banana who"?

"Knock knock".

"Who's there"?

"Banana".

"Banana who"?

"Knock knock".

"Who's there"?

"Banana".

"Banana who"?

"Knock knock".

"Who's there"?

"Orange"!

"Orange who"?

"Orange't you glad I didn't say banana"?!?

[Guest guest]

Buckwheat of the Little Rascals fame grew up, became a Muslim, and changed his name.

 

He now goes by Kareem of Wheat.

[Guest guest]

 

He now goes by Kareem of Wheat.

 

 

That one was actually quite funny. When he asked for worst jokes I think he was looking for something like this:

 

http://www.audarya-fellowship.com/showflat/cat/jokes/32629/2/collapsed/5/o/1

[Guest guest]

 

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."

 

Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says £30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

 

Patti explains that £30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

 

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

 

She finds the manager and says: "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"

 

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The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone".

 

[gHari]

Hey look, a talking frog.

[Guest guest]

The Island of Trid

 

Once upon a time, in the middle of the ocean, there was the Island of Trid.

 

It seems that most of the Island of Trid was covered by a large mountain. On this mountain lived a Giant. The Giant did not allow Trids on his mountain. If a Trid dared to climb onto the mountain, the Giant would kick him into the ocean. Trids are notoriously bad swimmers, and frequently drowned when kicked into the ocean.

 

The Trids population had grown quite large. Every square inch of the island, except the mountain, was crowded with Trids.

 

The Trids spent their days crowded together, dreaming of the open space available on the ever visible mountain. Every few days, a Trid would decide he couldn't stand the crowds any more. He would start to climb the mountain, and the Giant would kick the Trid into the ocean.

 

The Trids were a very depressed people.

 

One day a traveling Rabbi visited the Island of Trid. Despite their overcrowded conditions, the Trids were extremely generous to this man of God.

 

The Rabbi decided to return the favor, and to go plead the Trid's case to the Giant. "Surely the Giant can be convinced to share some of the mountain with you," the Rabbi explained.

 

The Trids were horrified. "Please don't go, Rabbi", the Trids implored. "The Giant will kick you into the ocean, and you will surely drown."

 

The Rabbi was stubborn, and insisted that he talk to the Giant. The Trids sent out every boat they had. They formed a ring around the island, so that they would be able to rescue the Rabbi.

 

The Rabbi started walking towards the mountain. No sign of the Giant.

 

He walked through the foothills, and there was no sign of the Giant.

 

He started up the slopes of the mountain, further than any Trid had ever been. Still no sign of the Giant.

 

Finally he reached the summit of the mountain. There the Giant was waiting for him. The Rabbi asked "Tell me Giant, why have you allowed me to climb to the top of the mountain, without kicking me off the moment I started climbing?"

 

And the Giant replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

[Guest guest]

For those not from the U.S., there is a cereal commercial where the punch line is "Silly Rabbit, Tricks (Trix) are for Kids!"

 

[Guest guest]

 

 

A Yogi Goes to the Dentist...

 

Did you hear about the Hindu yogi who was having a filling put in a tooth? When the dentist asked him if he wanted novocaine, the yogi said, "No. I can transcend dental medication."

[Guest guest]

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis.

"Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing."

 

Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football.

 

"Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!"

 

Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday."

 

The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."

 

[Guest guest]

 

A Hindu devotee asked God, represented by the multi-armed Lord Narayana, this question. "My dear Lord," he said. "I understand that you have innumerable inconceivable potencies. But out of all of them the energy of light seems to be the most amazing. Light pervades the spiritual world, it illuminates the material universes, and life is impossible without it." He continued, "I would like to know how you make it work."

 

"Oh, that's easy," was the reply. "Many hands make light work."

[Guest guest]

A group of sociologists decide to put an English, French and Japanese person on an island for one year. After one year they would return to see the progress they have made.

 

The Englishman immediately takes charge. He says “We Brits are very good engineers so I will build the housing. The French are known for their great cuisine, so you (the French person) will be our cook. And for the Japanese you go and get the supplies.”

 

A year passes by and the sociologists return. They are amazed at what they see. There is beautiful housing. The Englishman explains that it was no real trouble as there were plenty of materials. Next they see the most delicious foods that the French chef has made. Finally, they ask “Where is the Japanese person that was with you?”

 

They explain “We don’t know. The first day on the island he wandered off and we haven’t seen him since.”

 

Well, this wasn’t good. It had been a year and no one had seen the Japanese subject. So they all decided to search the island for him.

 

As they were entering the forest, all of a sudden the Japanese man jumps out of the bushes, completely naked, with a coconut on his head, war paint on, and feathers sticking out of his ears and shouts: “SUPLIZE”!!!!

[Guest guest]

 

Some friars needed to raise more money for books for the school, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.

 

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good brothers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.

 

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

 

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that "Only Hugh can prevent florist friars."

 

[Guest guest]

I love it!

[gHari]

were standing by a fence as a dog walked by. The dog said "Good morning".

 

One horse looked at the other and said "Hey look, a talking dog'.

 

[Enlightened]

What is the worst joke you ever thought of or atleast came across...

 

POST HERE!

 

 

I will give you mine...

 

here it is ...

"Knock. Knock."

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting cow."

"Interrupting cow wh..."

"Mmmoooooooo!"

____

 

worst joke ever heard in my life, trust me... anyway, post the worst jokes youve heard in your life... here

 

 

-enlightened.

[Guest guest]

A man is walking to McDonalds, when he sees a friend drive by in a car. The friend honks his horn and the man waves back. Then, the car turns around and honks at the man again. The man waves once again. Then the car come around yet again and honks. This time the man decides to ignore the person. So, as he continues to walk to McDonalds, he sees another friend driving by. The driver honks, and the man waves back. Then the car turns around. "No, not again," the man says. But sure enough, the driver honked at him. The man just ignored him. Then yet another car repeats the same things, making the man become rather curious. It seemed as if they were trying to tell him something. But what?

 

Finally he arrives at McDonalds. He orders his food and sits at a table by himself. Then, the three friends who were driving in the cars arrive in McDonalds. They order their food, then sit with him. They talk politely, leaving out the entire incident with the cars. Finally, the man cannot stand it any longer. He asks them why they kept turning the cars around, and can you guess what they said? Umm... I forgot. But it was a real hoot, let me tell ya! I couldn't stop laughing!! Sorry!