Book Changes (funny)

[Guest guest]

Having chosen English as the preferred language in the worldwide community of devotees, the BBT editorial board commissioned a secret feasibility study on ways of improving Srila Prabhupada's books. This plan can now be revealed.

 

Devotees around the world have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult -- for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. The BBT editors have determined that what is clearly needed is a

phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies.

 

In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's'instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, shange-vadis in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' since both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of BBT site workers, but keyboards kould be made with one less letter.

 

 

There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it kould be annoused that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'filosophy' twenty per sent shorter in print, which

translates into big savings for the BBT publishers.

 

In the third year, akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. The editors would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to

akurate speling. And, we would al agre with the editors that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the language is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend.

 

By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptiv to steps sutsh as replsing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after

zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

 

Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls or difikultis, and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

 

Zen, ze drems of ze BT editrz vud finali hav kum tru!

 

[Guest guest]

this amended english you are narrating may be the original one wherein which it was deformed to present day english! what matters is the subject, as long as people want to convey the message it is ok. with all the great difficulty people learn other language for co existance, convince other people what is dharma, ahimsa and all the necessary things. to tell them in a gentle way to practice before you preach! basically english words are a formation from the languages all over the world when they went in with looting adventure. because other people try to learn english, you are comical about there spelling, how it is pronounced etc.i bet you cant understand one word from other languages and another thing before concluding most of the english speaking countries, the students cant spell the words properly and there are tests and competetions and awards for the winners. few are right in spelling

[stonehearted]

a "guest": this amended english you are narrating may be the original one wherein which it was deformed to present day english! what matters is the subject, as long as people want to convey the message it is ok. with all the great difficulty people learn other language for co existance, convince other people what is dharma, ahimsa and all the necessary things. to tell them in a gentle way to practice before you preach! basically english words are a formation from the languages all over the world when they went in with looting adventure. because other people try to learn english, you are comical about there spelling, how it is pronounced etc.i bet you cant understand one word from other languages and another thing before concluding most of the english speaking countries, the students cant spell the words properly and there are tests and competetions and awards for the winners. few are right in spelling

 

And your post provides ampleevidence of the difficulty of spelling English correctly. Whereas most alphabetic languages are 99-100% regular in their spelling, English is terribly difficult to spell.