Guest guest Posted May 15, 2003 Report Share Posted May 15, 2003 my parents are musilm, and have only recently become devote muslims and i was never taught the religion but was expected to believe in it. because i never learnt about it, it was not an issue to me and i went about my life believing in god. i have been with my partner for 4 years and he is a non-practasing catholic. therefore he dosnt see religion to be a big issue. but it is for me, cause my parents believe in it so strongly eventhough i dont. and im scared to confront my parents about it. is a muslim allowed to marry one whom isnt in the religion? i love my partner so much and want nothing more, and dont want to make it a big issue for him. is there are way where we can be married happily, believe in our own reliogions individually, and have a marriage ceremony which dosnt involved any religious content. what can i do??? im a young girl in love, and scared that my parents wont allow it. please help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 15, 2003 Report Share Posted May 15, 2003 Marriage is the union of two minds, not of religions. So do not worry, go ahead with it. Wish both of you many a nice kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avinash Posted May 15, 2003 Report Share Posted May 15, 2003 Even though sometimes Muslims do post here, they are very few in no. Moreover, they do not stay for long. So, you may not get immediate response from knowledgeable muslims. You may have to wait. There are some forums which are run by muslims. So, you may get proper better responses from them. But, there is one important thing to consider. As is clear from your post, you are worried that your parents may not agree to your marriage with a catholic. So, let us assume that there are some Muslims who tell you that Islam does not prohibit a Muslim from marrying a non-Muslim. But, your parents think that such a marriage is prohibited in Islam. Then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avinash Posted May 15, 2003 Report Share Posted May 15, 2003 is there are way where we can be married happily, believe in our own reliogions individually, and have a marriage ceremony which dosnt involved any religious content. what can i do??? As you have mentioned, you do not want to make religion a big issue for your would-be husband. You have also mentioned that your partner is non-practising. This means that religion should not create major problems after your marriage. Both of you may live happily by celebrating the festivals of both Muslims as well as Christians. Now comes the question of ceremonies to be followed in marriage. Your parents very strongly believe in the rituals of Islam. So, they would definitely like such rituals to be followed. What about those from your partner's side? If they agree for the marriage to be done in non-religious way, then let the marriage as per muslim rituals. But, if they do not agree, then the people from both sides have to decide what rituals to follow so that both are happy. It is definitely possible. As an example, you two may go to both some Mosque as well as some church. But, I would not suggest that you try to marry without religious ceremonies. This is because it is very unlikely that your parents will agree if you say that you do not want religious ceremonies to be involved in your marriage. If somehow you make them agree, then, after your marriage, somewhere in their heart, they will have continue to have feeling that they did something wrong by agreeing to such a decision. On the other hand, if you can marry in such a way that people from both sides are happy, then it will be good for you two as well as relatives from both sides both during and after marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 16, 2003 Report Share Posted May 16, 2003 dear guest lady, fisrt of all this forum is not a authority on islam. here we know about sanatana dharma and cand give excellent advice about it. however, because we have suffered so much from islam in india, we know what islam is. a muslims women is not allowed to marry a non muslim. if you do, you need to force your spouse to convert to islam, and he in turn will take away all your freedom as a muslim husband. he can divocre you just by saying 'tallak' three times to you and the divoce is final. also if a muslim quits islam then he must be killed. how you parents recently became muslima dna also became devout is a mystery. one does not get devout insantly. so, if you want to have your freeom as a human being, islam will not give it to you, and if your parents are really devout muslims, they will not give it to you either. as long as one of you do not care for any religion and remain a non believer, or both care for only one religion, the marriage will cause life miserable. if both of you become devout muslims, then koran says you need to kill or convert kafirs. would you like to do it? jai sri prabhupada! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 16, 2003 Report Share Posted May 16, 2003 the lady is having a ral life crisis and all u care about is trying to preach your own prejudices. you shold be ashamed of yourself. anyone who sees the world in black/white needs to get an education. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gHari Posted May 16, 2003 Report Share Posted May 16, 2003 Seems to me that you can live by both religions. He will pray five times a day with you and, you will go to mass with him. You both worship the God of Abraham. How can God be displeased? If violence could result or if you will be shunned forever by your community, then perhaps the answer cannot be a rational one. I am not good at irrational anymore. But I would get him involved in your spiritual life and see if your family takes to him. Your parents will be very happy that the two of you start taking an interest in the meaning of life. They can teach you. I am a Christian/Vaishnava but when I buried my Sufi brother last month, I bowed in prayers in the Mosque with the Muslim group. It was as natural for me as walking. I wouldn't worry about his family; they will get over it. gHari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sirona Posted May 16, 2003 Report Share Posted May 16, 2003 Seems to me that you can live by both religions. He will pray five times a day with you and, you will go to mass with him. You both worship the God of Abraham. How can God be displeased? The situation of the lady is already complicated enough and I don't want to make it even more complicated by warming up well-known things - but sometimes things won't work plain and simple. Catholics believe in trinity, which is misconcepted by many Muslims as a worship of three distinct Godheads. Muslims reject the idea that Jesus is the Son of God, because they say God cannot have children. As an Ex-Catholic I can say that even some other Christian denominations consider Catholics as wrong-doers. I don't want to comment on any of these things. I believe the problem here is not what God thinks of the two lovers but what her parents think about Catholics. Have you ever tried to talk to them about Catholicism? Do they know what it is? I don't know your parents, but maybe you can talk to them. If not, what are your options? Are you adult? Do you have some money? Can you obtain a civil mariage in the country you live in? If you really really love this man, and they don't like him because he's Catholic, it might mean you'll have to break up with your mum and dad. Are you aware of this? Or, do you prefer to stay with your parents? You may have to accept the husband they set in front of your nose, I don't know your customs. Maybe you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life if you must marry another man, but you may also make yourself unhappy if you run off and later regret your step. And, I know this is really disgusting but what does your lover think about making a lip confession to Islam? What does happen to his Catholic affiliation in this case? Baptization for Catholics is not a mere adherence to a faith. It is a sacrament, something like a seal. Catholics believe even if you turn away, your sacrament stays valid in the eyes of God. If you are a priest and give up priesthood, you still remain priest before God at the day of Judgement due to the sacrament. If you take the sacrament of marriage, then divorce and marry to another person, your sacrament still ties you to the first one until you die. If you are baptized you remain baptized. Period. You may leave church but sacrament remains and can't be removed, because it comes from the Grace of God which is bigger than any law. [This may not make much sense to readers of Hindu origin, but that's the way things are.] My ex-stepfather Michele lives in Italy. He "converted" to Islam to marry a Moroccan woman. They live in Italy. He has a muslim name "Muhammed" but he's still Michele an I think he's still Catholic. Furthermore, I don't know what the Church requests but as for my humble self, I haven't been showing up to Mass for a long time but I am still a member of the Roman Catholic church. By writing this I do not want to encourage you to dishonesty but rather to find a practical solution. I can't say what is right but if you examine yourself and feel real, sincere love and then don't follow it, then what is love for? I know that Islam is more pragmatic in love matters than Christianity. To my humble knowledge, there's no equivalent to Romeo and Juliet in Islamic culture. Islam allows divorce but please keep in mind that Catholic faith, at least on the religious level, doesn't /images/graemlins/laugh.gif Maybe your lover is a zealous as I am in Church matters but I think if he's practising, sooner or later he may have problems too. By it's own law Church considers a civil wedding not sufficient This has no effect on practical life, but it's difficult to say what is the attitude of the priests is. Some priests tend to bother again and again until your lover feels guilty, and as Catholicism is a lot about feeling guilty and confession there might be a problem. Well, to sum it up, my spontaneous advice is: Run away with your lover, but if this is actually right for you, I really can't decide. If I don't know how to decide, I follow the advice a friend used to tell me, Close your eyes and the first thing coming to your mind, is the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enlightened Posted May 16, 2003 Report Share Posted May 16, 2003 So it shall not be taken so seriously, Why should you care if he is a christian or a muslim? If you love him and think that you can be happy with him, just marry him. About your parents, well , even though they seem to be very religious, they will accept your marriage proposal if he is a gentleman. However, you should try to explain to them that they are in a global community and should accept your love for him and his love for you, because you guys are very kind and well brought up people. In other words, May be you have better chances when you explain to them about how you feel about the guy and how you don't care what religion he is from. Besides, it is not your parents who are marrying the guy, its you! /images/graemlins/grin.gif good luck with your married life , I know you will succeed. /images/graemlins/smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 17, 2003 Report Share Posted May 17, 2003 if you are a hare krishna, then islam sees you as pure black, kafir, that must be converted or killed. is it not the reason why hare krishna are mostly reluctant to go to a muslim country? It is very praise worhty that some, a few, really take the risk and do. it is worth remembering it. jai sri prabhupada! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2003 Report Share Posted May 18, 2003 it is also worth remember to see others as human beings trying to struggle to get by in this world. When we start depersonalizing people annd see them only as "Muslims" or "Hare Krishnas" or whatever, then we become spiritually blind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enlightened Posted May 18, 2003 Report Share Posted May 18, 2003 does krishna see us as "hare krishnas" or "Muslims" or "christians" ? /images/graemlins/smile.gif he never even mentioned that we should discriminate them... but he did say this in a hymn of vedas : "As the different streams Having their sources in different places All mingle their water in the sea, So O Lord, the different paths which men take, Through various tendencies, Various though they appear Crooked or straight, All lead to thee." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2003 Report Share Posted May 18, 2003 << the different paths which men take, Through various tendencies, Various though they appear Crooked or straight, All lead to thee.">> these various paths mentioend here are various vedic paths. islam and christianity are not included. that is the very common mistake many kame in understanding it. Do we have a hare krishna here who belives islam is as good as vaishnavism? If so, why not become a muslim? why vaishnavism? jai sri prabhupada! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enlightened Posted May 18, 2003 Report Share Posted May 18, 2003 In reply to: ______ "Do we have a hare krishna here who belives islam is as good as vaishnavism? If so, why not become a muslim? why vaishnavism?" __ I found your words very offensive to be honest... /images/graemlins/frown.gif Actually I prefer Vaishnavism over Islam because I believe my path is the one that leads to my krishna. However, I have no tendencies that create discrimination against Islam or Christianity. Anyway, I like Vaishnavism because my family is a family of vaishnavas from generations ... you can go back to like 500 years before when there were Alwars in south India. In other words, I like vaishnavism because i have been exposed to it from birth /images/graemlins/grin.gif thats all!. But my friend, look at this more closely, If I was not a vaishnava, wouldn't I still go back to the godhead because, I would then take several births to go into vaishnavism and then finally be liberated. So you and me are the lucky ones :smile : because we have been in vaishnavism in this life thanks to krishna. however, other paths also lead to krishna. /images/graemlins/smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 18, 2003 Report Share Posted May 18, 2003 <<When we start depersonalizing people annd see them only as "Muslims" or "Hare Krishnas" or whatever, then we become spiritually blind.>> a spiritually non-blind person does not encourage intolerance by tolerating intolerant and barbaric invaders. also such a person does not try to make the whole world a brahmana class only. he never converts kshatriya or kills kshatriya spirit. just see, if US military does not do kshatriya work in iraq, there will be anarchy and asura kingdom. they had asura kingdom, and the US kshatriyas freed iraq from the asura. now if all the US military gives up arms, and takes up mridangams and kartals and does sankirtan only, then it will be very easy for the asuras to finish them and rule over iraq again. they would loe to do it. you see, they are not living a vedic culture. jai sri prabhupada! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enlightened Posted May 18, 2003 Report Share Posted May 18, 2003 we are posting at the same time /images/graemlins/grin.gif!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enlightened Posted May 18, 2003 Report Share Posted May 18, 2003 Protection is in the hands of krishna... Example: Once my dad was driving like at 6:30 in the morning and we were late to work. So, we were hurrying on a highway next to our place and we crashed into another car. However, nothing happened to me and nothing happened to our car except a dent and a tire lossening and nothing happened to my dad or the driver in the car. _________-- to top my point off, I have been in some severe accidents in my life, but nothing happened to me. The reason in my view is that it is krishna's will if something happens or not /images/graemlins/grin.gif. Do you really think that just because americans went into Iraq, the country is free from evil? You don't support your point my friend, Iraq is on a verge of Voting for ISLAMIC FUNDAMENTALIST GOVERNMENT... which should be worse than saddams government in your view. /images/graemlins/grin.gif The result is never in your hand... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 In my opinion, if you do get married it would be easier on your kids if they were raised Catholic. Since it sounds like neither your parents nor the guy are particularly devout, in the long run, this would be best for the kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2003 Report Share Posted May 21, 2003 <<The result is never in your hand...>> yes, but the karma is. dharma says to do karma according to dharma. passivity is nto dharma. if prabhupada has said, why i take trouble to spread KC, it will happen if krishna wishes. let me stay in vrindavan and just worship krishna. then you would not have known krishna. krishna is fair, even generous. he gives results of good karma. jai sri prabhupada! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enlightened Posted May 21, 2003 Report Share Posted May 21, 2003 but it still quite unpleasant to see a fellow hare krishna say all those things about other religions like the people in the other religions do to the religions or paths they don't take. but i guess we have to be tolerant of intolerance also because the truth for one depends on the very notion and the perspective she/he sees it in. hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 22, 2003 Report Share Posted May 22, 2003 <<but i guess we have to be tolerant of intolerance >> why? krishna never said arjun to tolerate duryodhan. if krishna devotees give up following krishna, then who will follow him? jai sri prabhupada? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leyh Posted May 29, 2003 Report Share Posted May 29, 2003 The 6th ("anyone who sees the world in black/white needs to get an education.") and 11th ("it is also worth remember to see others as human beings trying to struggle to get by in this world.") "guest" posts in the thread were authored by me. I wrote them when I still wasn't sure whether I should post in this Forum again. My humble apologies if the Moderator was offended by a registered user posting as a guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gHari Posted May 29, 2003 Report Share Posted May 29, 2003 So happy to see you still lingering here. You know Prabhupada would recommend that a Christian can also chant the Hare Krsna Mahamantra. It is a good thing. In the beginning I was so fallen that I was afraid to chant Hare Krsna. When I finally started, I found how some of those little attachments were defeated so effortlessly. It's true: Hari Nama, Christos Nama is the only way, the only way, the only way. We just ain't tough enough ourselves. Good luck, Leyh. It's been a pleasure knowing you. Keep in touch. gHari Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I_love_krishna_ Posted May 29, 2003 Report Share Posted May 29, 2003 Just showing compassion and tolerating other's religion is not like tolerating some one like duryodhana. The very essence of krishna's teachings lie in the very compassion that he shows unto us. If krishna is not compassionate, then he wouldn't have given us the bhagavath gita, thus leaving us to stray in this mire of delusion and ignorance of the material world. we need to show compassion to people who come here especially if they are not of our beliefs, due to the very fact that when they come here they don't tend to be fans of hinduism, when you show disgrace for their religion, then you tend to create disgracement for our religion in their hearts... hope you understand. Anyway, it is just so funny that even your signature has a question mark when asking a question... It used to be "jai sri prabhupada!" now its "jai sri prabhupada?" /images/graemlins/smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2003 Report Share Posted June 21, 2003 hi there.... this might come too late but i read ur post asking for help abt u n ur boyfriend.... first of all...how have u been doing so far? hmm.... my intentions of writing this letter is not to worsen things or to divert ur attention to something else.... rather....i hope that you dare to open ur eyes and give urself some challenge.... I have a personal experience whereby my bf is a Catholic and I am a Muslim... With my bf's freewill...he actually is learning to convert to a Muslim.... I never believe in forcing someone changing their religion....but I really hope they would willingly learn more about other religions before staying true to their own.. When I was young....I sometimes wondered if my religion is right....whether what I believe in is the true.... For me....I personally think that there is only one right religion and it has to be out there somewhere....all i need to do is to know and learn truely more abt the other religions.... From this far...I can say that I truly believe in my religion even more now..... The thing is....do not listen to what others say....but believe in what you learn...learn abt the TRUTH in all religions... and then think of what is right....and what is true for you and ur personal self.... I am deeply saddened by the way Muslims are being treated ....especially nowadays... The truth is that pple juz accuse without learning what are the right things taught in Islam...in the Holy Quran.... Like I said...I am not here to divert your beliefs but I would like you to ponder about these things yourself.... And I hope you would willingly learn more and make ur own judgements and beliefs.... If Jesus is divine...if he is born without a father...then how about Adam and Eve....? Aren't they born without a father? And so...why aren't they God? Or why isnt Adam the son of God? What I am asking you to do is ask yourself....If you really love him....you will want to learn more about the TRUTH in Islam.... And whether you want to believe it or not is your own choice...It is all up to you. No one is forcing you. But give yourself a chance. And I know for sure that your parents will disagree with your marriage if he isn't a Muslim. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT WITHOUT PARENTS' BLESSINGS, YOU CAN NEVER ACHIEVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE EACH OTHER. I wish you all the best. God Bless. "You shall not accept any information, unless you verify it for yourself. I have given you the hearing, the eyesight, and the brain, and you are responsible for using them." - Quran 17:36 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.