Spiritual Pride

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From "Sri Prabhupada Uvaca"; Srutakirti dasa,

 

A receptive devotee could learn so many things just by sitting quietly and watching Srila Prabhupada. I mentioned previously how Srila Prabhupada sat up very straight in his garden in New Dwarka one day and said, "The devotee is proud to be servant of Krsna." This was a very important lesson for me because balancing humility with the pride of being Krishna's servant was a bit confusing.

 

I was somewhat timid in the execution of my service when it involved requesting help or some service from people outside the devotee community. I misapplied devotional humility with mundane bodily apprehension. I could have been proud to be Krishna's servant, Prabhupada's servant; instead I was apologetic. I denied pride, not realizing that I was misdirected. Deluded, I thought I needed to exude humility.

 

Srila Prabhupada adorably personified pride in being Krishna's servant. Sometimes when Srila Prabhupada would return to his sitting room after a morning program he would turn to me and with a smile on his face say, "Did your record the lecture today?" I replied, "Yes, Srila Prabhupada." He continued, "Play it back. I want to hear it." On other occasions he would be sitting behind his desk in his room and when his disciples entered the room he would smile and ask, "So, the lecture was all right today?" Of course, his disciples always responded enthusiastically, cherishing every word that flowed from the lotus lips of their spiritual master. The devotees recognized special messages within some of his lectures, when even the dullest of living entities could understand the one point Srila Prabhupada continuously and clearly drove home.

 

It appeared that Srila Prabhupada took special pride in certain lectures. In my experience when he smashed the Mayavadi philosophy, he enjoyed immensely. He proudly presented Krsna to everyone, soundly defeating any of their bogus arguments. He was very proud that Krsna was his Lord and Master.

 

Srila Prabhupada also expressed pride in relationship to his disciples. One beautiful afternoon in July of 1973 Srila Prabhupada sat on the lawn at Bhaktivedanta Manor with some of his disciples and Indian guests. I was reading from 'Lord Caitanya in Five Features' an early and partial printing of 'Sri Caitanya Caritamrta.' I was doing my best, trying to pronounce the Bengali by using the transliteration. Much to my surprise after reading for about ten minutes Srila Prabhupada said, "Just see how nice he pronounces the Bengali. Although he has never read Bengali in his whole life, with this method he can pronounce it very nicely."

 

Many times Srila Prabhupada would praise his western disciples before the Indian community. He accomplished many things by doing this. He encouraged his disciples to further their progress in Krsna Consciousness. He encouraged the Indian community to take more seriously to that which was their birthright. He showed all that by the mercy of Guru and Gauranga and the potency of the Holy Name even mlecchas and yavanas could advance in spiritual life. Srila Prabhupada always credited the potency of the Lord's Name and his Guru Maharaja for all that he accomplished. Once in his quarters in New Dwarka Srila Prabhupada said to me, "You western boys and girls have taken so much intoxication. If not for the chanting of the Maha mantra you would not be able to accomplish anything."

 

In May of 1975 in Perth, Australia, Srila Prabhupada was having a conversation with a professor. Srila Prabhupada spoke very strongly about different classes of human beings. Paramahamsa Maharaja and I were sitting in the room relishing our spiritual master expressing to the fairly receptive gentleman how almost everyone was a fourth class man. Srila Prabhupada looked at the professor and said, "You also are a fourth class man." The gentleman replied, "Well, what can I do?" Srila Prabhupada energetically responded, "You must become a pure devotee, like them!" As he finished the sentence he pointed to Paramahamsa and me for his examples of pure devotees. My Godbrother and I looked at each other and broke out in huge smiles. We knew we weren't pure but we loved being used as illustrations for our dearmost spiritual master. We knew that Srila Prabhupada would never, ever say, "Become a pure devotee like me." That is one of the beautiful qualities of my spiritual master, the pure devotee of the Lord.

 

Srila Prabhupada, anything that I have accomplished in this life is due only to your causeless mercy. I am always consumed by false pride but my greatest pride properly placed is to identify myself as your servant. You are my Lord and I am very proud of being your servant. I pray to always remain as such. Please give me the intelligence to never forget my eternal position. Although I have no qualification, I have faith in your words as you pointed to Paramahamsa and myself. I know that you benedicted us both to attain pure devotional service in this life or some future lifetime. From your mouth to Krishna's ears. All Glories to you, Srila Prabhupada!