A Few "Glimpses of the Lotus Feet of Srila Prabhupada"

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The following will be a good tonic for your Guru

Bhakti. Haribol

 

A Few "Glimpses of the Lotus Feet of Srila Prabhupada"

 

by

 

His Divine Grace Om Visnupad

Srila Bhakti Promod Puri Goswami

 

 

Once Srila (Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakura)

Prabhupada was viewing the Deities of Sri-Sri Guru

Gauranga-Gandharvika-Giridhari at the Sri Caitanya

Math, standing on the front porch of the temple. The

door of that temple is not very wide and Srila

Prabhupada did not have his glasses on.

 

 

Standing next to him was one of his dear disciples.

The disciple thought perhaps Prabhupada could not view

the Deities very well through the narrow doorway. He

said, "Prabhupad, this doorway is not very wide. So it

is not possible to view the Deities very well from

inside." Hearing this, Prabhupad smiled, and he said

for the benedit of all of us, "We should not think of

the Supreme Lord as an object of our vision. Instead

we should meditate on the thought of how we can

acquire some qualifications so we can become worthy

objects of His vision. We should think about whether

He wants to see us, and whether He will want to reveal

Himself to us.

 

atah sri-sri krsna-namadi na bhaved grahyam-indriyaih

sevonmukhe-hi jihvadau svayam-eva spuratyadah

(Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu, Eastern Wave, 2.109)

 

"The holy name, form, qualities, and pastimes of Sri

Krishna are divine and transcendental. They cannot be

experienced by material senses. The Lord manifests

Himself spontaneously on the tongue of a devotee who

is eager to serve Him." Just as a devotee waits to see

the Lord with great patience and eagerness, sometimes

the Lord also waits with great patience and eagerness

to see His devotee. It is described in the

Caitanya-caritamrta how the hidden Deity of Gopal in

Vrindavan was waiting for His beloved devotee, Sri

Madhavendra Puri.

 

bahu-dina tomara patha kari niriksana

kabe asi madhava ama karibe sevana

(Sri Caitanya-caritamrta Madya-lila 4.39)

 

For many days I have been watching the road for you,

and I have been wondering, 'When will Madhavendra Puri

come here to serve Me?'" In this way the Supreme Lord,

who succombs to His devotee's love, waits to see His

devotee with great eagerness.

 

bhaktera dravya prabhu 'kari' kari' khaya

abhaktera dravya prabhu 'ulati' na caya

 

"The Lord will grab food from His devotee, but He will

not even glance at anything given by a non-devotee."

This is why the eagerness to serve Him in loving

devotion has to be present.

 

Srila Prabhupada's loving devotion for the lotus feet

of his Gurudev is beyond our comprehension. At one

time he told us, "When I used to think that I was a

big scholar of mathematics and philosophy, by my good

fortune I got darshan of the lotus feet of Sri

Gurudev. He ignored everything that was previously

appreciated in me by others: my truthfulness, my moral

and pious life, and scholarship, knowing them to be of

little value. When he ignored whatever was good in me,

I realized how good he himself was, he who could

ignore so many "good qualities" in me; what

inconceivable wealth there was in him. Being ignored

by him, I realized that there was no one more fallen

than me, more contemptible than me, and that this was

my real identity. This great soul did not consider the

things which I considered to be highly desirable, such

as scholarship and pure moral character, to have any

value. Then I realized what was in this great soul was

absolutely priceless. I prayed very humbly to the

Supreme Lord for His mercy. Later, by the mercy of the

Supreme Lord, I realized that without receiving the

mercy of this great soul and serving him, nothing good

could happen to me.

 

When I realized that and acted accordingly, by taking

shelter of the lotus feet of Sri Gurudev and by

receiving his unlimited causeless mercy, I considered

my life fulfilled. I have understood that if the

people of the world do not receive the same jolt that

I received from my Gurudev, then their consciousness

will not awaken.

 

Therefore I am telling everyone, 'I am more stupid

than anyone else in the world; please, all of you, do

not be stupid like me. Do not live your life within

the limitation of a calculating consciousness. Please

enter the realm of the unlimited, and you will become

very wealthy. I am only asking you to accept that

which I have understood, by the causeless mercy of the

Supreme Lord, to be supremely beneficial.'

 

In another place he wrote, "Even after seeing Srila

Gaur Kishore Das Babaji, many people, the immature and

the clever, the young and the old, the scholarly and

the foolish, those lacking devotion and those proud of

their devotion, did not have the proper transcendental

vision to see him. This is the transcendental power of

a pure devotee. Hundreds of people came to him for his

instruction, to fulfill their material desires. But

that instruction was actually deceiving them. Many

people take the garb of sadhus, and many people

outwardly act like sadhus, but in reality, not only

are they not sadhus, but they are very far from any

sadhu. But there is no such impurity in my Lord. By

his own example he demonstrated that purity was truth.

 

His genuine affection was incomparable to anything in

this world. He had no dislike for his competitors or

his enemies. Even to those who received his mercy, he

did not demonstrate any external favor. He used to say

"In this world there is no one who is the object of my

liking or disliking. I consider everyone to be

respectable."

 

Another inconceivable thing was that often deceitful,

materialistic people whose mood was unfavorable to

pure devotion, would surround my Gurudev without

understanding his real position. They considered

themselves objects of his affection yet kept their

attachment to petty things. But he did not outwardly

make any effort to get rid of them, nor did he accept

them in any way.

 

On the 29th of October, 1934, Srila Prabhupad

discovered the place of pilgrimage where Srila Rupa

Goswami saw Sri Gopal in the village of Sati-gara in

Mathura. I remember in 1935, starting from the 8th of

October, Srila Prabhupad observed Sri Damodar-vrata on

the bank of his beloved Sri Radha Kunda. Every day he

gave lectures on Srimad Bhagavatam, Sri

Caitanya-caritamrta, Upanishads, and other holy

scriptures. Every day he would circumambulate Sri

Radha Kunda and would hear or talk about the eight

daily pastimes (asta-kaliya-lila ). At this time, to

properly serve Sri Vraja-mandal, he started regular

meetings preaching the glories of Sri Vraja-Dham (Sri

Vraja-Dham Pracarini Sabha ).

 

How much he loved talking about Krishna is

inconceivable. He would talk about Him for hours on

end, and if anyone asked or even gestured for Srila

Prabhupad's prasad to be brought in, he would be

displeased. There were times when his disciples

requested him not to talk very much, being so

instructed by experienced doctors. If anyone would ask

him how he was, Srila Prabhupad would answer,

 

"I am fine. My only disease is that I am not allowed

to talk about Krishna."

 

He use to say, "To wake up one sleeping soul, to make

one conditioned soul aware of his real identity, one

should be willing to give gallons of blood."

 

Srila Prabhupad was extremely affectionate to his

disciples, and if he found out any one of them was

bewildered by Maya he would shed tears. In confronting

those who had a demoniac mentality, he was deadly like

a thunderbolt. Yet in his loving relationships his

heart was softer than a flower. In any of his Maths,

if any of his servants had to face a difficulty due to

lack of money, Srila Prabhupad used to take great care

to send that money as soon as he heard about it. He

could not bear the thought that a devotee had to

undergo hardships due to lack of money. He used to

become very concerned if he heard of any devotee being

ill. His affection could not be compared with that of

millions of fathers and mothers.

 

If we were ever sad and miserable, as soon as we sat

near him, all sadness went away due to the shower of

his unlimited affection. Even his chastisement seemed

very sweet.

 

"Srila Prabhupad has chastised me," we would say with

great pride, and considered ourselves to be very

fortunate. All difficulties in our service were made

worthwhile a million times over when we could see the

signs of pleasure on his affectionate lotus face. What

we felt can be expressed by this verse of Srila

Bhaktivinode Thakura in his book Sarangati:

 

tomarasevaya duhkha haya yata, seo ta' param sukha

seva-sukha-duhka parama sampada, nasaye avidya-duhkha

 

The suffering that comes from Your service is also our

supreme happiness. Both the suffering and the

happiness that come from Your service are our greatest

treasure, and they destroy the miseries that come from

ignorance.

 

If we could not properly perform some service which

had been ordered by Srila Ourudev, it would cause us

great sadness. Our service to Srila Gurudev seemed to

consist of everything: devotion, worship, meditation,

realization, austerity, and sacrifice. He was most

dear to Krishna. Therefore, if we could somehow bring

him some satisfaction, we considered that the highest

fulfillment of our devotional practice.

 

If Srila Prabhupad went away from us for a few days,

our hearts would ache in separation. We would think

day and night, "When will he come back again?"

 

Alas! How many years have passed since he left this

planet! How am I spending my days in this long

separation from him? Why is my soul still living here?

For the sake of what kind of happiness? Perhaps due to

my offenses to the holy name and at the lotus feet of

Srila Prabhupad, my heart has become hard like a

thunderbolt and it does not feel any pain anymore. If

I really loved him, how could I live this worthless

life here? 0 merciful lord, please protect this fallen

servant of yours. Even though I'm so fallen, so

sinful, and so deviated from the path of devotional

service, please pick me up and put me at the shelter

of your lotus feet.

 

Once you did give me shelter at your lotus feet,

considering me the servant of the servant of your

servants. We also got the assurance that if necessary,

you would come here again and again to rescue the

fallen souls, like myself. 0 merciful Gurudev, your

heart is so full of affection! Please forgive all the

offenses I have committed at your lotus feet,

knowingly or unknowingly. The day before you left us,

I clasped your lotus feet on my chest, and you looked

at me with eyes full of affection. Please remember

that. I am stupid, ignorant, bereft of scriptural

knowledge; I do not know what is good or bad for me.

Please correct me and make me worthy of your service.

Please make me understand what my faults are and what

my offenses are, so I will have the privilege of

serving you. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said to Murari

Gupta,

 

sei bhakta dhanya, ye na chare prabhura carana

sei prabhu dhanya, ye na chare nija-jana

durdaive sevaka yadi yaya anya sthane

sei thakura dhanya tare cule dhari ane

(Sri Caitanya-caritamrta, Antya-lila 4.46-47)

 

Glorious is that devotee who does not give up the

shelter of his Lord, and glorious is that Lord who

does not abandon his servant. If by chance, a servant

falls down and goes somewhere else, glorious is that

master who captures him and brings him back by the

hair.

 

You gave me the Tulsi beads so I could offenselessly

take the holy name. But alas, I am still indifferent

to that. My worshipable Godbrothers, who are all my

wellwishers, have set such examples for me by their

own actions, but I was not inspired by that. I do not

have the desire to take the holy name, what to speak

of having love for the holy name. Have I been deprived

of the mercy of the holy name due to my offenses at

your lotus feet and the lotus feet of the Vaisnavas? 0

merciful Prabhupada, please give me love for the holy

name. Please inspire me. Let those lotus feet of

yours, which I had the good fortune to hold to my

chest and which are more cooling than millions of

moons, be installed and be worshipped in my heart for

all eternity. This is my only prayer to you.