Drinking problems

[I_love_krishna_]

If some one else drinks alcohol in your family and you want them to stop, because of your newly acquired motives for life, what would you do?

 

I ask this because , I should be around "Satsanga" as said by the scriptures, but I can't avoid these people.

[Priitaa]

Haribol,

 

First allow me to commend you on your serious interest in developing love of Krishna! That alone will save you from many problems.

 

Now, when it comes to healing someone else, while there are things you can do to encourage them, ultiamately it is their choice. I suppose I would need more information before I could give good advice because it would depend on whether you are the child or spouse or roomate or friend, etc. But basically, you can tell them how you feel about their drinking, then if they are actually alcohoics, leave some 12 step pamphlets around the house. Even that, they may be too sensitive to.

 

One problem we have all had as new devotees, tho its somewhat of a good problem but needs to be kept in check, is that due to our initial overzealousness, we blow people away. ha So, my suggestion wouud be NOT to mention Krishna or God or religion at all, in case they get mad and start to take it out on Him. If you know they won't get mad, thats different, but too often we end up labeled "fanatics."

 

Its true tho, that you need better association. I would suggest starting small steps toward what you can do to become independent of those who aren't interested in Bhakti Yoga, and until that can be achieved, change you life in a way that is better for you. Such as, change your schedule so you will be around them less, spend more time in your speace or room, etc. and less with them, go to the library instead of hanging out with them, etc. You don't want to hurt their feelings tho. This must all be done with much care.

 

And the bottom line is that what works to resolve this problem with one person may not work for another. Therefore it is good you asked here. That way many can give you a variety of advice. From that, you can select which best suits you as well as your individual situation.

 

In the meantime, chant Hare Krishna and be happy! :-)

 

YS,

Prtha dd

[Guruvani]

You are asking to do a very difficult thing. It is almost impossible to get someone to stop drinking or smoking unless they have some desire to do so. Trying to MAKE other people stop such habits is next to impossible. My opinion is that you should just show them a lot of love and compassion, kindness and concern and maybe you can be an example of how sobriety is more fun than being intoxicated.

 

The botton line is that you should not really be trying to change others by pressure or force. If you can just be an example of the power and beauty of chanting Hare Krishna they might be won over by your example.

 

Dogging them and nagging them is not going to really open their eyes. Gradually teach them about the higher meaning of life and the need to soberly cultivate spiritual knowledge. It is very difficult for a young person to get an old person to give up intoxication. They need to get into a group of adults who are working as a peer group to each other to stop drinking. If the person has no interest or desire to stop drinking, then you are probably not going to get them to stop. Best thing is just try to save yourself. Trying to save the world is not possible until you have saved yourself.

[Govindaram]

HK

 

This may NOT help at all, but years ago a friend of a friend, had a bad drug (heroin) problem, so my friend told everyone (in an intelligent way) that this person was on Heroin, and this person got more and more ashamed of his addiction and finally gave up in time, so I guess what I'm trying to say is, whoever is drinking make them 'feel' ashamed of their actions, make them regret, and contemplate what thy are doing, then maybe they can see by Krishna's grace what they are doing.....Haribol!

 

 

[Guest guest]

"If you can just be an example of the power and beauty of chanting Hare Krishna they might be won over by your example"

 

this is extremely nice

:-)

 

and if they take the harekrsna chanting.... they can drink if there's no harm for others...

 

i think we are here to preach hare krsna

 

 

regulative principles are secondary and instrumental to spread the hare krsna mantra..... otherwise the importance is there, but relative (= material).. one has to take a new birth in the material world also i he follows 92738 principles but does not chant harekrsna

[Guest guest]

Back in the late seventies, when I was preaching in Santa Barbara, I had made friends with an alcoholic. He was very favorable toward the devotees. I could see that he could not give up drinking and he eventually died from it. But from his being favorable to the devotees and his softness of heart, I could sense that he was on a path of spiritual progress. I cried when he died and prayed for his safe journey.

[Krsnanatha]

Our Srila Prabhupada was refered to as an Acharya. One who teaches by example. We may not yet qualify to have that title printed in front of our names but we can still strive to teach in this capacity. Guruvani Prabhu has offered fine advise. "If you can just be an example of the power and beauty of chanting Hare Krishna they might be won over by your example". I have found that merely executing the path of Bhakti many times is as strong as suggesting, hinting, begging, preaching or demanding others do the same.

The other side of this situation is not unlike a drama playing out for your benefit. Some how Krsna is putting you in this situation. You see first hand the hell the mode of ignorance causes. If by some trick of Maya in the future there is even a hint of interest on your side for these types of activities Krsna has kindly given you a front row seat in this play of degradation and pathos to reflect upon.

I have a similar situation. I was trained very nicely how to be a parent by my Mother who was about the worst parent one could imagine. (Abuse, no proper clothes, no proper food ect ...you pretty much name it.) When I had my children all I had to do was run the tape in my head of how she reacted in various situations and do the opposite.

As aspiring devotees if we look closely we can always detect Krsna's hand molding our circumstance no matter how bleak we may calculate the situation to be.

Nitia Gaura Haribol!

 

 

 

 

[stonehearted]

I just want to add my vote for the advice given by Pritha, Ksamabuddhi, and Krishnanatha, and thank them for such thoughtful responses, so typical of the good advice that can be had from such experienced devotees.

 

Babhru

[I_love_krishna_]

Yes, I will keep my mouth shut though and follow Guruvani's advice, but no body looks at a kid for a model, except my 9 year old cousins /images/graemlins/frown.gif

 

I guess this is my Karma...

[Guest guest]

go to krsnaloka and your family will follow you.... chant and let krsna do his job