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How to Talk About Men....

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atma

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.. and still be politically correct.

 

He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

 

He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

 

He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.

 

He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

 

He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

 

He is not a cradle robber; he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

 

He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

 

He does not act like a total ass; he develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.

 

He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

 

He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.

 

He is not unsophisticated; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.

 

He does not eat like a pig; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.

 

He does not hog the blankets; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

 

He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

 

He doesn't have a dirty mind; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.

 

He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

 

 

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